I use this space to write about things I am grateful for on a daily basis. I try to identify something that happened the prior day as a reminder of all the amazing people, activities and experiences I am blessed to enjoy. The format is loose but the intention is to develop a habit of gratitude to better frame my day and awareness over time. Sometimes it becomes more of a diary, alas, the imperfection of trying to stick to a plan.
5/23/26: Went to see the Whisky Saints last night at patriot place w/ Quincy. It was really fun and ofc we saw a ton of friends. I haven’t been out to lots of these things the last year + so it was nice to connect with some old friends. Lots of ppl came up to me raving about Rawkstars and all the posts they’ve been seeing on social media, since I hired Kiley. She’s done a really good job and the thing is, we have so much more activity that she never even gets to share. It feels good to know ppl are learning and following what we are doing and I’m super appreciative of the positive feedback from so many cool folks. Also, seeing Crissy on stage was really awesome. I mean all those guys are great but given her journey the last 6 months it was just really nice to know that she is bouncing back. She’s such a strong person and carries herself with an understated confidence that I admire. Both she, Cid and Mike all said they were psyched to jam next week and have been working on the tunes. I still need a lot of tuneup myself but it’s awesome to feel a touch more energy around this project and seeing those guys play gave me some more motivation about what we could be down the road.
At the end of the night we grabbed Five Guys w Q and then afterward as we were leaving, his car wouldn’t start :/ he’s had a lot of drama with the car the last few months and I thought he was over the hump, but no. We waited for a while to get the roadside guy, who ultimately couldn’t get it jumped so he then had to call again for a tow. It made for a long night but I’m glad we were there for him to help get it sorted. I’m also thankful we have insurance and despite how fucking crazy expensive it is, we are in a position to afford it, unlike many others. Grateful.
5/21/26: Had a solid day of eating yesterday after a crappy Tuesday. I’ve been feeling a lot of cravings and food noise lately. I had hoped the wegovy would kill these altogether, but it hasn’t. I do feel somewhat more in control and ‘even’ in this regard, but I definitely still have times when food is consuming my thoughts at least somewhat and eating for no good reason, albeit less. I’m thankful overall for the meds and losing -17lbs is awesome. Side effects have been minimal, with some light heartburn mostly. If I can continue on this trajectory, it will 100% be worth it and regaining some sense of weight loss is crucial for me.
5/20/26: Had some slower days this week and keeping myself busy with little things. Met up with Pierre yesterday who is set to take over LMACS in the fall. He’s a good dude and another asset for Rawkstars that I hope I can keep engaged and connected. Been so lucky to find so many great folks who are talented and genuinely positive people.
Got the car oil changed a few days back. As always, they try and upsell you on wipers, filters, services, etc. and I never take them up on those things. Dude asked me about checking the cabin filter and I literally told him ‘I probably won’t buy it but sure go ahead’ — the shop was really busy so he could have easily just skipped it, but he said no problem, might as well check. After he took off the cover he found a huge nest in there from some animals. Not unusual for our place as I find those every spring in the shed and basically anyplace around the property where all sorts of critters live. He was down on his hands and knees, on a pretty hot day, and pulling out gobs of this nest. He removed probably like 4 handfuls of debris and then proceeded to get an air gun, to blow out even more. He then vacuumed my floor mat because some bits fell. He really went above and beyond what was necessary and it was really cool to see how hard he worked and how focused he was on the job at hand, not worrying about the line or whatever else, including the semi-gross nature of the task. I bought the filter and told him he was great and earned the business. It was a nice reminder of human connection and the power of little interactions.
5/17/26: Spent a glorious day mostly in the yard. I cut the grass which is looking solid, other than some spots where I never raked pre-winter. I also did some edging, around the walkway out front and the patio out back. Our shit is far from perfect but it feels good when you make the effort to clean and improve it. Thankful to be able to still do some of this work myself and move around ok.
Practiced some and finally took the time to write out the parts for Wayfaring Stranger, the first tune we’re gonna try with Yellow Raven. I’ve got about 10 days to be ready for rehearsal and we’re gonna try 3 songs, including The Chain and New Kid in Town. I’ve been playing them, but using the songster crutch so I need to get past that and just start playing them without visual aid. I’m excited to jam and see this thing finally come to life. It will be a big step and I’m proud of myself for getting it this far, even though we haven’t actually played yet, it’s been a ton of work.
5/16/26: Met this guy Eric yesterday who was referred to me by Matt Stone of Gather Wealth/Glass/Farms. He’s got this AI agent that I wanna try out for Rawkstars. He was a really cool guy and we had a ton in common. He was a sound engineer that transitioned to tech and dabbles in lots of side businesses. I’m excited by the prospect of using the tool, even though I’m loathe to advance in technology sometimes. I think it could really help me with certain tasks if they can be automated and will keep me more accountable on things that I’ve been letting slide. Time will tell of course but he was a great contact and also may be able to help get Rawkstars into Vermont, where he’s located in Brattleboro, and connected with the local music scene fairly well.
5/15/26: Been a hectic time and I’ve missed a lot of updates. Rawkstars received a couple grants in the last 10 days. One from BMI, which is only $2k but runs for 3 years. The other is from Lowell Community Foundation, in support of the H&H program we run at LMACS. I also met yesterday with our new grant writer, Tom. I can’t recall but a few weeks back I decided to move on from Shannon, because we just weren’t seeing enough results and positive cash flow. I liked her a ton but I felt like she fell off the last few months from the volume and attention we had previously agreed to. Tom is going to be slightly more expensive, but actually charges by the application, so we’ll get exactly what we pay for. It’s been a journey trying to find the right person who can contribute positively to the bottom line and also be great to work with. I feel grateful to be getting some influx of $ and that my own writing has contributed to the success.
I also have a new project / recording / video with Autism Rocks. We’ve become more connected in the last several weeks starting with the Brendan Craig event, where Scott donated $2,500 to the scholarship. We also met Dylan that day and then a few weeks later attended their gala. I met Jen, who is the 3rd person in the leadership and we all really got along. After seeing Homer and some other kids perform, I pitched an idea to produce a piece about our collaborative efforts to expand access to music for all kids. I also wanted to continue the process of showcasing the studio and came up with the idea to bring Homer in for a mini-concert for the B&GC kids and record the whole thing. I’ll also shoot some interviews with A/R leadership and maybe Lisa/Cid or some other parents with kids on the spectrum to tell the story. Looking forward to it as I always do with the video pieces, but this one feels extra special and has potential to be super impactful (and fun as shit!).
5/14/26: Just got home from 5 days in the D.R. with Lisa, Bella, Q, Erin and Travis. It was really fun and the weather was perfect. Lopesan is a nice resort, and we had lots of family time. I’m super grateful that we can afford such luxuries and taking the kids was a great bonus. My eating and drinking was very solid, and I didn’t really overdo it much at all. Got a ton of sun and had some alone time with Lisa. The return travel was rough as we got stuck on the runway for 50 minutes post-landing, then we had to get a new Uber due to the prior one getting cancelled. I was cranky and tired after getting home but always love the feeling of returning home after a vacation. Ajax held up aok and I scooped his box right off the bat 🙂
5/8/26: Had the first external / paying client at the Plymouth studio! Joe brought in a female violinist from Berklee to lay down some tracks on one of his client projects. Then he had an afternoon session with a student recording some drums and finally a mixing project. It was probably about 8 hours in full, but just a cool milestone. Just about 8 months ago Rawkstars started with an empty canvas. Over the last 6 months or so I put together the studio, control room, outfitted with gear, acoustic treatments, wiring and decorated the space. We’ve pressure tested it with a few fun sessions and had a couple bands put it through the paces to work out the kinks. Seeing Joe have the confidence to book sessions and bring his business in really feels great. It will generate a bit of revenue for JGF which is great, but it will also grow the reputation of the studio and bring in musicians from the south shore to see what we are doing there. It’s the first step towards building the community we want to see there and it feels nice. In the coming months, I’ll work with Mallory to outfit and activate the lesson rooms. Those really have potential to attract tons of customers and accelerate what we want to do. My hope is by the end of 2026 we can have the studio being rented regularly and achieve 25 weekly lesson students. I think it’s doable and will really begin to bring the JGF dream to life.
Attended a mtg for the Marshfield Teen Center with a bunch of the kids. Meeting wasn’t super productive tbh, but it was kinda nice to spend a few hours with the teens. We were outside and played a few fun games, which I would never have done otherwise. I feel blessed to b part of such a cool project and respected within the group putting it all together. Should prove to be a great step forward in our relationship with the club and with the south shore as we continue to provide cool opportunities for local kids.
5/7/26: Had a Trinite meeting yesterday and continue to be impressed by what they are working on. I’m thankful to be a small part of the group and helping the vision move forward. Also met with Brendan from B&GC Marshfield about long term programming for the teen center. He seems like a good dude and came from the place where my friend Josh Jackson was working. Josh speaks very highly of Brendan which makes me confident we can be great partners. Lots of opportunity in front of Rawkstars in the coming years with Marshfield, Portland and potentially Medfield, not to mention the continued build out of Plymouth. We really don’t need any more growth and need to focus on what’s in front of us and expanding these specific programs. That alone could sustain our growth for the next few years and increase our budget while remaining true to our roots and vision. Grateful for the opportunity to be part of these amazing projects.
5/6/26: Spent a few hours outside yesterday with Q listening to music and talking. It was nice as I don’t get as much time with him these days between school, work, Erin, etc. In the morning, I walked with Susie Cullen, who had been messaging me and we made plans to hang. It was a super nice day and I was thankful to get some time outdoors, moving and catching up with someone I don’t see often. I did more yard cleanup in an effort to keep myself moving and busy and picked up a million branches from our messy tree out front, that always seems to be dumping debris in the yard. I was tired as heck after and took a long hot shower which felt awesome!
5/5/26: Beautiful weather yesterday. I got my bike out and prepped it for riding. I swapped out the seat for another padded one and adjusted everything and filled the tires. I also prepped the old bike in case I can convince Lisa or anyone else to ride with me.
In the morning I met with the Kenyan team and we’re making some progress there. Silas is our teacher and seems to have been a great hire. We can’t share pics or vids from the classes yet as Marko wants to ensure we aren’t perceived as taking advantage of kids for fundraising purposes. Marko is an awesome guy as is Brian, Dave Connor and all the folks I’ve met through Project Trinite. I’m quite thankful they are part of my life now and to be a tiny part of the progress being made there.
Had my weekly meeting with Mallory and had a good convo. She hasn’t been doing tons yet, but we’re getting closer to having the practice rooms ready and setting up the website / Opus for the running of the space and then it will ramp up a lot. She’s going to be running the socials and basically most of the operations so I know her input will increase soon. I’m glad to have her on the team and to be working towards something bigger, even if it’s a slow journey.
5/4/26: Ran 2 miles yesterday! I was spent but made it. Super duper slow, but again, I don’t care much about that, just trying to increase my distance and keep going. Proud of myself and pleased to finish the weekend with a second day of PF movement.
Did some practicing and talked with Crissy ahead of the jam in a few weeks. I’m super excited and nervous if I’m being honest. My playing isn’t exactly in top form and I want us to sound good so everyone gets motivated out of the box. I’ll keep jamming these next few weeks and be ready to go. Grateful for this chance at putting together another band. It’s been too long and I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed that energy.
5/3/26: Did a nice park walk with Lisa and Doreen yesterday, 3 miles. Feeling good and on relatively solid footing. I’m still having cravings and temptations to overeat, especially at night, but doing a solid job of managing them. Had a couple of slowish work days last week, which was nice and easing into vacation mode ahead of next week.
I had to let Shannon, our grantwriter go. I felt horrible and sent her an email. To her credit, she took it well and probably saw it coming. I liked working with her and her writing style, but she just didn’t attract enough of a success rate and we need to improve in that area. I tried giving her tons of time, but the last few months I felt like she actually regressed, in terms of volume and I had to cut the cord. Part of it was meeting a new guy last week who I found through Colleen at the B&GC. Tom seems great, and of course, time will tell. He’s more expensive but I am ok with shelling out the $ if I can find someone who can generate a positive return, which Shannon was not doing. I think we need a change in messaging as well and the targeting is an area I feel like could really improve. We’ll see how it goes and I’m thankful for the time I had with Shannon, we definitely improved, just not enough. It’s a part of running the biz that I am not comfortable with and making the change was a good step towards getting better with the discomfort I suppose.
4/30/26: Had an improved day of eating, which was my intention. Had breakfast with Mike, which was nice. We usually only connect at a gig or party, which isn’t my preferred setting for talking to people nowadays. It was good to catch up and made me feel closer to him, which was nice. He gave me a guitar for the studio, which is super awesome and will make a great addition to the growing collection of gear over there. I also heard from Greg who told me he was moving to Florida. I’m happy for him and it seems like a smart move. He’s gonna be 67 and is retired, no need to upkeep a big old house with just him and his wife and getting to someplace warm and a slower life seems perfect for him. Thankful to have lifelong friends like these guys and to still be connected.
4/29/26: Did some needed yardwork yesterday. I removed these old fence posts that have been entangling a ton of vines on the side yard for years. I want to rent a machine to clear all the brush so I figured taking those out would really help. Hoping I can get that done this season as it’s been a literal thorn in my side for years now 🙂
My weigh in went well, down -17lbs, which is awesome. That said, I had a poor day of eating. Not so much that I overate, but I gorged myself having salty popcorn after dinner, then later ice cream, after Lisa went to sleep. Those are habits I don’t need/want and I didn’t like having those feelings surface and succumbing to them. Today is a new day and I will get back on course with some better choices and some more movement. I’m planning to cut the grass later today after my appointments and will focus on water too.
We got a music practice on the books! Crissy has been feeling better and she is ready for a light jam. Cid and Lisa too. We have it scheduled for post vacation so we have plenty of time, but it felt awesome to have something booked finally. Cid asked her drummer friend and he is going to learn some tunes so we can see if there is any chemistry with him. I’m also gonna ask Paul Lourenco the same thing and still hope to connect with Dave Chronister this weekend. Hopefully between those 3 we can feel some connection and move forward. Still have some other players to fill out but pumped to at least have the beginning of this thing coming together.
4/28/26: Took a walk to the PO yesterday and picked up a check from RITS for $10k. They’ve been a great partner for us the last couple years. We have a ‘loose’ relationship on the billing side. I don’t send them invoices per se for specific hours, rather they let us know when they have funds available and then we prepare an SOW and eventually send an invoice. It’s worked out fine and we’ve been paid an appropriate amount and possibly even slightly high, given that we’re now using the newport folk guys who don’t charge for their services. I’m super thankful for their partnership and what it brings to us outside of the money.
4/27/26: Had a lazy Sunday mostly by myself. Lisa went to see Judy and Sophia, who turned 18. I kept myself busy around the house. I sprayed the spring weeds on the patio, which is always a recurring activity. I don’t really like using the poison but don’t know a better way to make it happen. I did some cooking and made a chicken thigh stew and it came out awesome. I like cooking though I only do it sporadically. Weather has been improving here and there so I also got some outdoor time and pumped up my bike tires. I didn’t barely ride it last year and hopeful this year will be different.
4/26/26: Bought a few new clothing items yesterday. I don’t really enjoy shopping and typically I’m not into it because nothing fits and I don’t like the way I look mostly, but with some weight coming off that is changing again. I bought two pairs of jeans and two shirts, plus a pair of sneakers. It felt good to try on some stuff that looked decent and made me feel good. I’m thankful to have enough money for things like that and to be able to buy small things without too much concern for cost. I know everyone is not as lucky.
4/25/26: Saw Uli last night with Q and had so much fun. He played the whole Virgin Killer record and I was so struck by how much those songs were part of me at 16 years old and how much they are part of Quincy now. Uli’s a funny dude, very eclectic and kinda hokey, but a total legend. Hearing In Your Park, Yellow Raven, We’ll Burn the Sky, etc. were simply awesome and I’m so glad to be able to share such emotion and love with my boy. My life has been beyond blessed in a million ways.
Met with Brendan Craig’s mom and Jeff Jones to discuss the scholarship and they are both super cool. We came up with some good ideas and I should be able to firm up everything in the coming weeks and let everyone know our plans for spending the funds. Grateful to have met all those guys and to help keep Brendan’s name alive through Rawkstars and music.
In the morning, I hosted a dozen kids from BSU as part of the programming in Plymouth. It was really fun and the kids were awesome. I enjoyed getting to talk with them and I think they enjoyed being at the space and listening to Rawkstars lore. Several of them seem interested in a summer gig or more and I hope I can sort out a way to bring at least a couple of them into the fold. It’s a great baby step towards developing a relationship with the college which I think could really benefit JGF, Rawkstars and the kiddos.
4/23/26: We got approved for $6k from SSPHA. I had requested $7,500 but this is an increase over the $5k we got last year. More important it represents an ongoing relationship with another awesome south shore partner. I’m going to allocate most of the $ towards outfitting the lesson rooms at the plymouth music center, since those need attention. I’ll probably also squeeze something for the studio, as it’s my baby and I get personal enjoyment from making it better with gear. Joe’s set to host a few sessions there in early May, which will be a nice hurdle to get past and hopefully lead to more and more bookings.
I also got started on putting a website together for the center and it was fun to spend a little time being creative and technical, as it usually is for me when I take the time for it. Got a ways to go and I don’t want to belabor the process for perfection but it will be nice to launch a site and also give us the opportunity to integrate the Opus platform and start the process of recruiting music lesson students and teachers formally, in public.
4/22/26: Visited with Paul Armstrong at Bellforge yesterday. That’s the place Dave Yuknat is involved with helping develop up in Medfield. I got introduced to Paul at the HOF event at the Wang a few weeks back and we hit it off and talked about programming. The grounds are just spectactular and even though it’s just getting underway with construction, you can see the vision very clearly and the place is going to be super impressive. It’s essentially a whole new community being built on the grounds of the old state mental hospital. There are 35 or so old brick buildings being convertered to high end condos and they’re all arranged in a community type grid on 80 acres of trails, woods and the charles river. In the center will be the music venue and arts education center, so there’s a vibrancy built into both the homes and the music space, plus what is essentially a public park surrounding the whole thing. Paul seems like a genuinely awesome and capable dude. He owns Great Scott and has led the Boston Music Awards, which have become a huge deal, among other music related businesses. When he gave me the tour and we came around to the music spaces, he showed me the education building and said “this is yours” and seemed pretty genuine in telling me he wanted to work together and wanted my input on how it could work and presumably to run the space. It’s beat up now but like I said, you can see how beautiful it’s gonna be already. It’s 3 floors and has 16 rooms that will house lessons, studios, podcasting, video, and I believe eventually culinary programs. There’s a big vision for it and to think that I / Rawkstars can have a hand in bringing it to life is exciting to me. Dunno what the future holds of course but it felt good to leave there and think abuot what might be possible together. I’ve never been part of something so ambitious and the thought is very attractive. Thankful.
I’m officially down -16lbs, which feels pretty awesome. I still have lots of food cravings, though my apeteite is certainly tempered most days by the meds. I look and feel somewhat better, and am happy with the progression being slow. The last few weeks I was kinda worried I was already starting to plateau, not really gaining but also not really losing much. This week was a few lbs down which I felt early in the week but was still unexpected on the scale. I’m thankful to be making progress and trying to remind myself where I was and how I was feeling just a few months ago with regards to my weight. It was feeling pretty helpless to be honest, so seeing some actual results is great. Hoping the trend can continue and I can return to a place of feeling good about my body and continue to push it a little in a better direction.
4/20/26: Went to the Autism Rocks event yesterday with Lisa, Cid and Marli. Saw some amazing kids perform, including Homer and this younger girl who blew us away. I was really moved by the playing and it felt awesome to witness such musical greatness. I’m hopeful to put together a project to bring them to the Plymouth studio and do a video together somehow. Felt good to be inspired by music, especially from the kiddos! AR is a cool org and I’m thankful to begin connecting with them and supporting one another.
4/19/26: Kids were here yesterday and we hung out, Lisa made dinner and we watched some of Wrestlemania. It was always a fun part of the kids growing up so it’s nice to revisit and have everyone still kinda enjoy the idea as adults. Always thankful to spend time with them and connecting as a family!
4/16/26: Weather has been superb lately, which is most welcome. It’s a new england thing, when the winter finally starts to fade and the sun comes out, it feel so damn good. I’ve been doing more spring cleaning and yesterday I douched both of Ajax’s box areas and washed everything outside. I also took my car to the wash and vacuumed and cleaned the inside as well as swapped out the winter floor mats. Feels good to have a fresh start with both.
4/15/26: Had the student career exploration day at PAD with Dave yesterday. I really enjoyed it and thought it went quite well. There were about a dozen kids and Dave held their attention pretty good. He showed them around the space and talked about his own story and the company evolution. He probably got bogged down in details but he’s a talker (as am I) so that’s kinda what happens. He really shined at the second half when we sat in the lunch room. He bought pizza for everyone which was super generous, but then basically held court and the kids were pretty attentive, all things considered. He gave some good advice and I think Ilona (their instructor) also enjoyed it. It was a good step for Rawkstars and I’m hopeful we can work on more things like that going forward. I think it also solidified our relationship with MAP even further and maybe can lead to something together with Dave, as we’ve talked around that for years. Thankful.
4/12/26: Weather is turning lately, always a good time around here. Was actually warm and sunny and did some yard work, after going to the gym in the morning. I was pretty wiped as it doesn’t take much moving around to make me sore. I cleaned out the shed from a couple winters of neglect and also touched up the patio a bit and sat outside. Felt good to be outdoors for a decent stretch of the day and to get some cleanup done around the space.
4/11/26: I visited the Marshfield Council on Aging yesterday with Jim and some others from B&GC. They’re trying to model their cafeteria in the new teen center from what it looks like there. Place was beautiful and I had never been exposed to a place that attracts and serves seniors like that. It was huge, beautiful, well appointed and busy as hell. Every town should have something like that as we don’t do a great job of providing elders the opportunity to socialize and remain healthy and engaged. Most of what I get to see is folks alone or in poor health, mentally and physically.
I did have a great moment with David, one of the dudes on my MoW route. I’ve been delivering to him for years and about a month ago learned he was a music buff and guitarist. He smokes a lot of weed after cancer recovery and one day I heard him cranking tunes and we started chatting. He invited me in and showed me this old beat up guitar but said he couldn’t play any longer. I told him I’d clean it up and put strings on it for him. I brought it home and had Quincy service it then finally brought it back yesterday. He opened it and to my surprise actually started strumming some chords and singing along. It was super sweet and I could tell he was happy for the help and for the company for a few minutes. Thankful I got to be part of that interaction and I sent a video to Q to show him what his effort did.
Later I finally met up with Meghan from the Brendan Craig event. She organized the raffle and I’d been trying to connect with her to pickup the proceeds and finish the accounting on the scholarship. She’s been kind of hard to connect with and I had begun thinking she was ghosting me last week, before finally hearing from her. After a few sporadic texts I didn’t have the best feeling. Not that I thought she was going to steal the $, I just wanted/expected her to be as responsive and concerned about it as I was. Connecting in person made me realize that ws just me projecting my own anxiety about $ and organization onto her. She has two little ones, one is autistic and is managing her music career and family alone, as her husband travels for work a lot. We had a great convo, very friendly and I left feeling great about having her as a friend and reminding myself that I was making a mistake by projecting those feelings into the interaction. Thankful for the lesson and for being able to pay attention enough to see it.
4/9/26: Things continue to be positive overall, both at home and work. I got to visit Crissy earlier this week and it was great to see her. She looked and sounded good, all things considered. I’m thankful for her friendship and to see her more like herself than it’s seemed for a while. We even talked about music, and I know how important it is to her. Certainly no pressure but it made me feel more positive about us playing together again at some point when she’s ready.
4/5/26: Ran 1.5+ miles yesterday. Passed the prior 1.25 and felt good. I think I have it in me to get to 2 sometime soon and will continue the slow push towards that goal and maybe eventually a 5k. My journey is going well and I’m mostly feeling good about it. I of course still have anxiety and sometimes wish I were losing more. I know those are just fears bubbling and I’ve mostly been able to keep them in context. My eating hasn’t been perfect, but feels sustainable, which is what I’m looking for. I can have the occasional ‘bad day’ and continue on without spiraling, which has always been my downfall. Thankful for the last few months of doing better and retaining some focus on what genuinely matters most.
Lisa and I spent some time cleaning out old papers and drawers in the kitchen. Sounds lame but we both take pride in that and it was kinda fun to do together. We hung out and had some laughs along the way and feels like we are connecting more these last few weeks. We also did a simple budget exercise as part of the retirement planning and we are in a good place. Our social security (if taken at 67) isn’t far off from our current level of spending. Meaning we wouldn’t be spending down our retirement assets simply to live each month. I’m certain we’d use some of those funds for the kiddos and for the occasional extra spend, but even still, we seem to have enough to cover ourselves, if we can continue our current levels of earning for another decade or so. Feels good to know we are secure as I know life has a way of throwing curve balls, which in the past have really derailed me.
4/4/26: Went to dinner with Tina and Jason last night. Haven’t seen them in a few, though J and I have been connecting over the money management stuff the last few months. It’s been really cool to get to know him better and seeing Tina is always a joy and makes me feel like a kid again. Their girls are doing awesome, they are both so driven and socially conscious. Sounds like they have some potential gig in Kenya, of all places, and I told them about the Project Trinite stuff of course. So nice to connect with friends and have some laughs and talk.
During the afternoon Bella texted and told us she got that job offer!! So damn happy for her and proud. She hasn’t been happy at her company the last little while and she took it upon herself to solve it. Even if it had taken her a longer time, she got on the path and wasn’t afraid to follow her instincts towards being happy and satisfied with work. It’s a trait she’s demonstrated a few times and I couldn’t be happier for her. She was actually in Kenmore Square going to see Haley Williams, her fave singer, with Brina her bff. The Sox were at home for opening day and it was one of the few sunny days we’ve had here lately. Some days are better than others as they say 🙂
4/1/26: Finished the Scribl video with Kato. So glad to have connected with him. He’s good at what he does and a great guy to hang with. I’m gonna bring him in for the Narrows video, which I’m meeting with Patrick about next week and will be the next project in queue.
3/30/36: Went to the Brendan Craig Memorial Gig yesterday w/ Lisa and Cid. It went amazingly well. Still have some $ trickling in but I think we are in the ballpark of having raised $23k – an astounding sum, especially given that it came out of nowhere and we didn’t have to do very much work to get it. The event itself was also a blessing. Room filled with musicians paying tribute to their friend. His parents were amazing and I got to chat quite a bit with his mom and dad both. I gave a little speech in the middle and though I was nervous leading up to it, went well. I wound up spontaneously brining his mom on stage with me, which felt really good. Lots of love in the room and many new Rawkstars friends were made. Jeff and Heather Jones, the ones who helped bring us in were amazing to meet IRL. I also connected with Scott Kaufman from Autism Rocks, who I had met last year. He and his crew donated $2,500 to the scholarship and we talked about lots of collab ideas. I think there will be lots to come for us and Mallory was there also, who is kind of a bridge between the Rawkstars world to this new community. It all feels very serendipitous and special to be surrounded with.
3/29/26: Had dinner with Doug and Sue. Been a minute since we connected with them and it was nice to eat out. Got some fresh sushi and ate an appropriate amount. They’re having lots of issues with Valerie, who’s struggled with alcoholism for years. This time she did something to jeopardize Hazel, their granddaughter and the dad has temporary custody. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for them right now, dealing with such tough issues. They’re nice people and great parents but despite their best efforts, it’s out of their control. I really hope Val will figure out a way to get stronger from this moment and do everything possible to become an awesome mom for Hazel. My heart goes out to them all and I can empathize with the struggle of addiction.
3/27/26: Visited Portland to see B&GC where old friend Colleen Cooper is now CEO. It was a long drive but I picked up Paul and it gave us some time together to connect and talk. Colleen and Erin welcomed us with lunch and they are building something special there. The club is being rebuilt and a new teen center is coming next door. In the meantime, they have 3 other locations and want music at all 4. I’m gonna need to figure out how we can staff the program long-term, but excited for the potential to add them to the roster. Growing into the new club space is a huge opportunity and Rawkstars is poised to increase its impact in a big way.
3/25/25: Went to the Americana Roots Hall of Fame gala last night. It was at the Wang Center and Dave and Marcy Yuknat bought a table. It was a really great event and everyone was seated close together on the stage, which is gigantic. Lots of Boston legends in the house, Peter Wolf, Extreme, Quinn Sullivan, Don Law, Brad Whitford and others. Judy Collins, Tom Rush, Bobby Rush and others jammed along with a house band and there was some really great music and family members of Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Woody Guthrie, Leonard Cohen and others who got inducted. It was great to be included by Dave and our table was also cool. Felt kinda awesome being a tiny part of the event representing Rawkstars. One of my old sets of nice clothes actually kinda fit, so I was able to feel like I looked good, after weighing in yesterday at -12.6. Still a ways to go but feeling good still about the slow, steady progress. I had a few drinks and a small dessert helping and felt pretty shitty after, physically. It was a special occasion but I’ll be back on the bandwagon today and drinking water, eating cleaner, etc. Grateful all around.
3/24/26: Sat in on a Project Trinite call yesterday. I’m inching slightly closer to learning more about their operations and I’ve enjoyed getting to become friends with some of the folks there including Brian and Marko to name two. Not sure how much I’m going to be able to help support them and add value, but I’m grateful to be a speck in their ecosystem. Helping others and feeling part of a community are both huge for me and I’m feeling both as part of PT.
I also got to see some ‘unboxing’ pics as they actually have equipment in the music space now! We also met Silas, one of the teachers that Marko hired. He seems cool and I saw him playing keys, using the computer and jamming on drums. Hard to fathom that Rawkstars is involved with this project and has a tether to bringing music to P-Top village?!
3/23/26: Lisa and I had been at odds for a day or so. We talked last night and at bedtime, she invited me to ‘join her’ which was nice. It felt good to be spontaneous around sex for the first time in quite a while. We’ve been stuck in this spot for a while, mainly because of me, but also in a more generalized disconnect. Anyhow, it was good and I not only felt good sexually, but lighter and more connected. Hopefully we can find a way to make it into some momentum.
Not sure if mentioned here below but I got contacted by a family with a local musician/son who passed away a few weeks ago. It’s sad as he was only like in his 30’s. There is a big south shore musician network and they are having a celebration of life next Sunday. Rawkstars is going to be a beneficiary and setup a scholarship program in Brendan Craig’s name. We’ve raised $2,250 already and the family said they thought we could potentially land between 5-10k. I had a spontaneous call with MA Gallerani over the weekend who knew about Brendan. She amazingly offered to match any donations up to $10k! If we can find a way to get the full contribution, it would leave Rawkstars with $20k in unplanned income. HUGE. MA also made sure to mention to me that it would be in addition to her ongoing support of Rawkstars, which last year came to $10k. So fortunate to have her in our corner and so much better than scouring for grant funding that is competitive, labor intensive and often uncertain or short-lived.
3/21/26: Been connecting with this new friend Jeff Jones, who is putting together this celebration of life for a young musician who recently passed named Brendan Craig. Rawkstars is going to be beneficiary of the event and create a scholarship fund in his name. Of course it’s an honor and I’m also excited to get RS in front of a large audience of south shore based musicians, as we continue to raise our profile in that community. Mallory actually knew Brendan and her bf is sitting in on drums with his band, as part of the event. Such a small world and I’m blessed to be part of this new community of folks through music.
3/19/26: Hit the studio w Joe last night and did a rough mix of the 02071 tunes. They’re ok, nothing special but it was still fun. He got the drumset tweaked up so another step closer to having him book sessions at our space. We also talked about a new project for an original song of his which sounds really cool and doing a Yellow Raven track. We’ll record both with some depth and I’ll put together videos to promote the studio. I think it’ll be great fun, and awesome to play on a song of Joe’s. It’ll also give me a chance to get the YR thing out there with some kind of band, though I honestly don’t know what that will look like yet. Excited.
3/18/26: Had lunch with Dave Yuknat yesterday. Always a good time, I’ve known Dave since the Upromise days and his family foundation, Grayce B Kerr Fund has been a huge Rawkstars supporter, even before the last few years when our network has grown. We caught up at the studio space and I was psyched to have him see it in person. I also told him about the potential of developing the workforce pipeline idea and he seems open to listening to a funding pitch in the $20k ballpark. That would be absolutely massive and not in our budget for 2026, but would go a long way towards reaching our funding goals for the whole year, not to mention the traction such a program might get beyond. Thankful for his support and musical friendship.
3/17/26: Holding fast at 11.6lbs lost. Hovering these last few weeks but feeling solid still. Trying not to get caught up in the weekly/daily number but feeling the slow and consistent energy of progress and long term changes. Of course I want to see the scale drop but I know focusing on the process will allow the results to follow. And if I lose even a pound a month by the end of the year I’ll be down 20+ which would be an awesome result.
Connected with Sharon at NAMM Foundation yesterday and have my application nearly ready to submit. We won’t hear about the status until way later this year but I’m feeling solid about getting support again. I’m asking for $18k and anything above $10k would be a win. Thankful for this relationship and for meeting Sharon. She’s pretty cool and a great person to have in our corner.
Old friend Bob Mercier donated a sweet Kim Thayill Guild, a 50w Orange tube amp and a 2×12 Friedman cab, that I will buy a head for. Always a good and generous friend, those items are already at the studio and are awesome additions to our growing collection of nice gear. He’s also going through a divorce, which seems to be for the best and he appears emotionally stable. Grateful to know such cool people and to have real world friendships with people like Bob.
3/16/26: FamJam yesterday afternoon. We met at a Japanese place in Mansfield and everyone made it. We ordered too much food but everyone left full and happy. Especially my mom, who was thrilled to see the kids of course, and it’s been a minute since we all hooked up. So much so that Randy was passing out gifts from Xmas! Glad to make my mom happy once in a while, she has a lot on her plate as usual and I know it’s all she really wants to be with the family and have some laughs. Thankful.
Made contact with these folks running a celebration of life for this guy Brendan Craig, who passed last week from a blood clot. Kid was in his 30s and played drums. They’re having an event for him and Rawkstars will be beneficiary and the idea is to setup a student scholarship in his name going forward, depending on what we raise of course. The guy putting it together is named Jeff Jones and he and his wife have an acoustic duo that sound pretty good. He seems like a good dude and I’m glad to be getting to know him. If we can put together a nice opportunity and have it funded by Brendan’s friends that would of course be awesome. I’ve thought about this in the past but it’s an odd subject to broach. If we can add a few organically, it might make it easier to socialize something like this going forward. If we could get more of these, it’s akin to a boost in Fan Club membership, since it will cover the cost of our Rawk Enroll students, which is our biggest unsupported source of expenses. I didn’t know Brendan but am honored to try and honor his musical legacy a bit by bringing his people into the Rawkstars family and showing them a touch of our magic.
3/15/26: Saw The Vagabond Kings last night w Lisa and Quincy. Saw a bunch of folks I haven’t seen in a minute. Was nice to get out for a few hours and reconnect with some people. Lanzetta was there, Wayne and Lemmy & Ellie, among others. I enjoyed the music but tbh, the band wasn’t as fire as in the past. Of course I love them to death, but getting older is a thing for all of us. That kind of music requires an energy that’s touch to muster and playing that needs to be warm from lots of rehearsing and gigs. Grateful to see so many friends and to have seen VK when they were a force.
Got the first JGF grant submitted yesterday. Felt good and I hope we get it of course. I want to lower the $ Matt is spending on me and Rawkstars and show him that over time, we will chip away at the expenses and build something that is more self-sustaining. He’s also asking me about picking up hours for Project Trinite. I’m a bit worried about spreading myself too thin
3/10/26: I’m down another pound or so, for a total of 11.6. I’m definitely happy with the progress and I can feel my clothes fitting better and looking better in the mirror. I’ve been living with some nerves that the weight loss is going to plateau, even though nothing really suggests that is the case. It’s just an old fear rising up and I’m thankful to be able to notice it and not swirl too badly in its wake. I didn’t have a great week of exercise, mainly due to a busy calendar for work stuff. I did get to PF on Saturday and then walked with Lisa Sunday, which was good. Need to continue to focus on movement as I know that is a big part of the equation besides just eating steadily. Grateful for the progress and for a few months of momentum to begin 2026.
Quincy is in Puerto Rico this week so the house is quiet. Bella shifted back to nights at work, which I don’t love, but she seems to handle it pretty well. Thankful they both continue to be happy, healthy and have forward momentum in their lives.
3/7/26: Spent most of the day at the Plymouth studio taking meetings. After Meals On Wheels I ate some yogurt and had a Starbucks coffee then had a kickoff call with Mallory Fey, who is officially on board with Rawkstars for at least the next 6 months. I’m excited about it and trying to remain open about what exactly will unfold. I want her to take point on stuff and not just look to me for direction on everything. I’m not good at controlling what people work on and don’t want to anyways. I’ve got ideas ofc but want her to feel empowered. We talked about managing time with Olivia, creating tasks each month, ideas for the rehearsal and dance rooms and even a potential fall gig / fundraiser at Soundcheck or Levitate Backyard. I think her energy is gonna be great and her contacts are so different from mine.
Afterward I met with Paul and told him about my conversations with Judy and Portland. We’re gonna team up on both fronts and meet with Judy together next week, then plan a drive to Portland for an onsite. I’m excited about the workforce aspect of what we’re doing and I know Paul can help make shit happen and lead some of this.
In the afternoon, Matt brought Vinny and two others from BSU to the space. We talked a lot about ideas and they seemed impressed and genuinely interested in some kind of partnership. I don’t know exactly where it will go. They have a lot of music student teachers but at the moment, we don’t really have the student base to support leveraging them. It may be something that unfolds if Mallory can get the rehearsal rooms going and we also talked about summer co-ops, renting them the studio for their classroom use and other ideas. I think we’re gonna start with hosting a student led symposium to work with them collaboratively to see what ideas might work or be of interest. Rachel from MAP also came and they already have lots of ties to BSU. I really like her and feel like she and I could be strong partners. I plan to follow up with her individually and get her thoughts on all this as I kinda sense she has a knack for attracting funding and ideas that can spread.
After all that, I sat with Matt to help him get the Kenya vids/pics off his phone and into google, as well as his contacts for a future email list I want to start. We wound up chatting for about 2+ hours and I really enjoyed it. Mostly it was about Kenya but also I tried to continue outlining my vision for the space and our partnership together. It felt nice to connect and Quincy came in before and then after his uke class, which was also nice. I’m so lucky to have him at my side through some of the Rawkstars stuff and it’s a very proud bit of what is happening for me.
3/5/26: Finally had the planned session at Plymouth last night with Chuck, Jim, Bob and Dave. Had Kato come down and do some filming too. We started off well enough getting Joe’s gear setup, but then ran into a couple snags. His computer died and needed a reboot. Then the monitors went down for no apparent reason and we couldn’t ever get the headphone amp working for the studio feed. It was slightly stressful but thankfully Mike was there and helped Joe troubleshoot and eventually everything came up and worked. We jammed ‘in the box’ meaning we all sat in the control room and plugged in direct, while Jim was in the studio singing. It was nice to have such control of volume, ease of setup and no headphones, etc. but it also lacks the energy that comes from more air being moved in the room. All that said it was nice to actually play music with other humans and the pressure/energy that comes from doing so. I think we all sounded pretty good, considering we never rehearsed and had some tech difficulties and didn’t even properly warm up. It was another babystep for the studio and we’ll be able to fix the headphone thing easily enough I think. Also a babystep for me getting back to playing regularly with some others. IDK if the planned vision I had for the acoustic band with Cid, Lisa and Crissy will materialize, give Crissy’s current health but I’m still hopeful it will and can be patient. I’m thinking about asking a few other folks in the meantime so we can at least begin to flesh that project out and do some rehearsing and recording. There will be a spot waiting for Crissy when she is well enough, but it will also allow us (especially me) to move forward with some semblance of a musical outlet. We’ll see if/how that comes together but I’m feeling excited about the idea of trying.
3/3/26: Had an unexpectedly busy/productive day. First, I started the fucking Rawkstars taxes from 24-25. We’re on a weird fiscal year cycle that means I do taxes mid-year. We submitted an extension letter in November, as I was trying to find a new preparer who would be a great resource going forward. I thought I kinda found a firm, but they wanted me to basically provide them a bunch of info instead of going into QBO and finding what they need themselves. So I procrastinated forever and kept forgetting that I’m out of date. With the recent spate of grantwriting I realized my newest filing is old, so I went back to the website I was using a few years ago. I got it filled out as best as I could and sent a note to Donna asking her to look it over. I hate reaching out only to ask for help but honestly feel like I need someone to keep it honest and straight. I definitely need to find an accounting partner, and it would be helpful to have someone reset my chart of accounts so that I could export stuff more easily and efficiently from QBO when grant apps ask for budgets instead of using my spreadsheet. I really need to figure out ways to solve for this stuff without adding a ton to the bottom line, which is increasing a fair amount this year.
I met with Judi, who I had met at the Plymouth event last month and who also knows Mallory and Matt. She runs a biz doing consulting for towns, schools, etc. to build workforce pipelines for High School students. I think there’s a lot we could do together and she also works with MAP. I left the meeting pretty energized as I like Judi personally a lot, but also think she has some serious skills that I don’t. I think she’s also plugged into an eco-system where larger funding may be available for these kinds of program partnerships. We both agreed to take things slow but I think Judi also saw some potential in us working together. It’s exciting to think about a whole new angle for Rawkstars that could result in some big impact.
I also connected with old friend Colleen Cooper from B&GC Marshfield. She moved to Portland and is now CEO of the B&GC network of Southern Maine. They are looking to expand their current music programming at 2 clubs and are also in the midst of a Teen Center build out, similar to Marshfield. I met her program person Erin, who also seemed great and we talked a lot about the clubs. I think there’s a definite synergy there for us and it would be our first expansion into another state and a really cool city of Portland. Being included in all these conversations about teen programming is humbling and also leaving me feeling a bit exposed on what I don’t know. I’m gonna bring Paul into the conversation and plan a site visit for sometime in the coming weeks to keep the conversation going. I hadn’t really been focusing on expansion, but this and the workforce development concept are both super interesting and could take Rawkstars to new levels of programming. Thankful.
3/2/26: Met up with the kids for lunch yesterday. It was nice to see everyone and always good to connect. Q is headed to Puerto Rico for spring break next week and sounds like Bella is headed to California for a short trip soon too. Nice to see the kiddos enjoying life and balancing work/fun/saving/enjoying themselves. Continued to have a productive run on the grant cycle. I helped Shannon get a couple more things submitted yesterday so we’ve had a nice week in getting some stuff in the pipeline. Fingers crossed one or more of them come through 🙂
3/1/26: I ran a mile yesterday! I started a few weeks ago thinking about this as an exercise goal. I had done short runs of 4, 5 and 7 minutes over the last few weeks. Yesterday I planned to try and get 8, but as I was stretching, I decided to put on an old running playlist and shoot for the whole thing and I did it! It felt great to prove to myself it was possible and I was proud of myself for pushing past the fear and making it happen.
2/28/26: Finished a couple grants yesterday for the first time in a few months. In addition to the personal ones below, I tackled Bristol County Savings. It’s part of a swath due in the next several days and I want to support Shannon to make sure we get as many submitted as possible. We could really use some fresh sources to help balance the existing ones we’ve been counting on. I’m sure at some point things may change with some of those so we can’t rest on the fact that we’ll get them. Felt good to be productive there.
2/27/26: Did some more editing with Kato. He came to the house, which was nice. He really dug the house and it was a helpful reminder of how fortunate we are to have such a beautiful home that feels like ‘us’. His edit for the NAMM piece was terrific and I was really happy with what he created. The Mike piece is also done and we were able to kick off Scribl product video, which the team has been clamoring for. I’m a little behind on it, so it felt good to get it moving and my hope is to give them something they love by Monday/Tuesday at latest. It’s a bit nerve wracking actually, making something creative for a group of creatives with strong opinions. I hope I’ll be able to give them something they love. That’s always part of the creative challenge when making something for others. Thankful for the opportunity to work on more things with Kato and to have creativity be such a big part of my work life.
I got a bit of traction on a few grants also. Follow-ups are due for both NAMM and SSPHA, both of which are budgeted in for 2026, so I really hope we get them. The pipeline with Shannon has felt kinda stalled lately. Part of it is on her side and part on me. I haven’t been as active writing or even pushing her, which should be part of what I’m doing. There are several due in the coming 5 weeks and I need her to get a bunch of applications out there. Things have improved on that channel for us in the last few years, but the organic grants need to pick up. Most of the ones we’ve gotten and can renew are through my network. Hopefully those continue and she can unearth some new partners, potentially some larger amounts. I’m hopeful for at least 1-2 new incoming funders this year to at least generate a profit from what I’m spending each month.
2/26/26: We had the biggest blizzard in history this week. Over 36″ of snow fell in like 24 hours. The whole area is completely covered in a way I haven’t thought of before. It’s sort of beautiful, though of course most people are hating it. Many schools closed for the entire week as towns are still struggling to clear the snow and find places to put it. Fall River and Plymouth cancelled everything and some friends in Plymouth haven’t had power since Sunday. I shoveled like crazy. Took me over an hour and a half to get from our front door to the driveway and it was a massive workout. I did that while it was still snowing to try and get ahead. The following morning it was snowing lightly and I was gonna try and get my car uncovered. Lisa had shoveled from the walkway to the back of my car so I had a small path to navigate. I shoveled for 2.5 hours and wound up getting the whole driveway cleared, both cars into the circle and cleaned, then re-parked. The driveway is about 1/3 of its normal size, but we fit back in. It was intense and Colin helped a bit with his snowblower as did Larry who plowed a bunch of the circle. We even had a town plow truck get stuck trying to come down the street. One of those huge sand trucks, not a pickup! It’s crazy how much snow there is and how difficult it is to clear. Anyways, it’s kind of nice to see life shut down for a couple days. I think the world needs more of that.
I’m down 10.6 lbs over 7 weeks. Feeling great about that number and some of my clothes feel looser. I’ve had a bit of the side effects, a touch of heartburn and occasional stomach discomfort, but not horrible or ongoing. I’ve been continuing to get to the gym a few times per week, mostly walking but also some light lifting and stretching and even started a bit of running. I want to try and run a mile over the next several weeks. I started with a couple minutes, then did 4, 5 and yesterday got 7. I’m at 4.2 speed so I’ll need to get around 13/14 minutes for a full mile, but I don’t care about the time, just being able to do it without stopping. I feel grateful to have this momentum and really want to keep it going. I’d love to continue to drop weight and improve my movement. Hopefully my next blood test will show significant improvement in my cholesterol and I can be somewhere nearer the 240lb mark where I kinda hovered for my 40s. Really trying to just focus on day to day and not get ahead of myself so I’ll reign it in here.
2/22/26: Saw the new Elvis concert film last night. Of course I loved it. He was my first musical love and I’ve never stopped. The film was a series of interview clips and mostly new concert footage from his earlier years in Vegas. It was of course restored to a beautiful visual and audio experience at the IMAX theater. It was nice to get out for a couple hours with Lisa and see it together. He had such an incredible voice and presented such vulnerability – besides his great looks I think those things bonded him to people as it comes across really strongly, imo. He was taken such advantage of by his manager and entourage, yet he outwardly didn’t project bitterness about it, maybe until the end and of course it affected him in other ways. He had such a sweet way, an innocence and love for his mother. Wish I had seen him perform IRL but glad to have lived through the era where he made music.
2/21/26: Met up with Mayo and Dennis Brennan a few nights ago at Town Spa. Besides having awesome pizza, it was cool to reconnect with some friends that I don’t see super often. I lament sometimes that I don’t feel super close to many people, outside the family. I have a fair amount of ‘friends’ I suppose, but there aren’t any I can think of that I feel very connected to on a regular basis. I probably don’t even have a ‘best’ friend besides Lisa, Q and Bella. Not trying to feel sorry for myself here, just stating that it felt nice to be out of the house for a couple hours and having some laughs with new/old faces and vibing a bit.
2/18/26: Been working on the NAMM video pieces with Kato. He’s a cool guy and it’s coming out solid, though a bit slower than I’d prefer. It’s perfect example of working with someone whose cool/good and my prior experience with Dave, who was way above average. It’s nice to be reminded and appreciate how good some folks are at their job and I’m gonna drop Dave a note and let him know. Kato lives at home with his mom and she’s sweet. I told him I thought it was cool how close they are. I’m sure he wishes he was on his own, but there’s something nice about seeing a grown man living with his mom, and not for reasons of being a troublemaker. I’m sure he’s had his hardships and he’s referred to those with me a couple times, but that’s not the main reason he’s living at home. Anyways, I feel grateful we became friends and am looking forward to some finished pieces in the next couple days.
2/17/26: Had my second session with Jason Lily on our wealth management plan. For the first time ever, we maxed our IRA contribution and HSA. I’m planning to setup an IRA for Lisa, fund it and sweep her old Patriot account into that one also. It’s goign to give us a nice head start on taxes for 2027 as our total income will shrink a good amount and should result in a return for the first time in a while. Beyond that it just feels good/right to be optimizing some of this stuff after a lifetime of basically winging it. We’ve done aok considering our lack of planning but in the home stretch, I’m getting even more satisfaction than usual from these exercises. We’ll start Lisa contributing to her 401k for the first time and forecasting what retirement might look like in 10-12 years. Thankful we are in a solid place and still focused on improving.
Can’t wait til tomorrow to write that I’m down another 2lbs! I think it’s 8.8 all together, since the beginning of the year / starting Wegovy. Tomorrow will be my 6th full week and it’s been a steady ride. I have been eating better for sure, getting some regular light exercise and walking and stretching and really haven’t had any side effects to speak of. My bowel movements have changed and I have a tinge of heartburn at night, but nothing bad. I’ve definitely kicked up my water intake which I think has also helped. I’m feeling a little better and been excited/motivated for the first time in quite a while to keep pressing forward slow and steady like. Thankful beyond words.
2/16/26: Finished a mellow weekend. Bella came by to play some tunes with Q, which was nice. Erin’s mom stopped by to connect. She recently lost her job and I told her about some openings at Council on Aging where I do my meals deliveries. She talked about her personal finances a lot and was kinda looking for some advice, which I wasn’t really expecting, but I enjoy talking about and it felt good to be asked. Without sounding conceited, it was hard to listen and not feel some satisfaction about our own ability to have managed our financial lives pretty well. This has been a theme lately over the last few months especially since selling Azalea and starting to improve our own financial wellness even more. I’m sure to talk about this again tomorrow 🙂
Booked the Dominican vacation finally! We’re headed back to Lopesan, where Lisa and I visited a few years ago. I think the kiddos will like it too and it’s going to be cool having all 6 of us together. I booked 3 rooms so we can all enjoy privacy and adulthood, while also being together on the trip. I went a little extra on the plane tickets and rooms and got the cancellation type, in the event the weather looks shitty that week or something else arises. Our last trip was saddled by rain and after the NAMM visit being shortened by the snow, it felt prudent and since we have the extra cash on hand, I sprung for it, against my typical thrifty ways. Blessed to be able to splurge and take the family to someplace so nice and bring Erin and Travis along to enjoy it with us.
2/15/26: Doing well on Wegovy. I’m not experiencing quite as strong of a ‘food noise’ or satiety as I hoped/expected, but I am down 7lbs in 6 weeks. I’m happy with those results and though my eating and movement have improved, they are not perfect or ‘hardcore’. I’m hopeful as the dosage increases I will feel more of the effects I thought would come, but I’m trying to enjoy the fact that for the first time in a while I have some positive momentum and slow improvements. Thankful.
In talks with Mallory about coming on to work with Rawkstars on Plymouth and other things. We had a not so great call on the subject of money the other day and I left it feeling down. Afterward I decided that I was being shortsighted and that I should give her what she wants and trust that the results are going to be worth it. It’s a hard lesson for me and I continue to grow as a business owner. I’ll probably always be conservative with spending but also know that I cannot get all this done and do it well, alone. I feel pretty confident that bringing her in would be a good idea and I’m only committing for 6 months, so I think it was the right thing to offer her more. I’m waiting to hear back but hopeful we can kick off together and see if the next several months will yield some growth in Plymouth and the development of Rawkstars overall, perhaps freeing me up to consider new partners.
Finally booked our family vaca to Dominican Republic yesterday. I need to make a change to the reservation, but I pulled the trigger on the flights and everyone is psyched. Hoping it will be another awesome experience for us and the weather will be perfect, as it usually is in Caribbean but we struck out last year in Cancun. I splurged for the cancellation tickets for the first time ever, and it cost an extra $2k overall but if we hit that week and things look rainy we can adjust. I feel blessed to be able to provide for everyone so well and feel good about spending some $ for us to do something special together again.
2/7/26: Visited BTO Studio yesterday for a video shoot with MaceyO and Mike. Filmed for a few hours and I think I have what I need for the two pieces and hope to start editing next week. Visiting the space in Dorchester reminded me of how different my life is from so many others right nearby. I think too many of us are completely insulated from how well off we are and what life could look like. It’s not intended as a slight to folks who aren’t as well off, but rather a reminder of the fact that gratitude isn’t something you just ‘have’ but something that needs to be cultivated through direct experience and effort. Macey is a great kid and I’m thankful to have him in my orbit. I’m rooting for him and hope that Rawkstars can be a tiny part of his success in life.
I got a text from Paul this morning telling me his father in law passed away and he and Mari didn’t have the $ to travel to California to be with her family. I paid him an advance on the 3rd semester at LMACS to cover him and am grateful to be able to help. It’s yet another reminder that tons of people, even accomplished/together ones, aren’t able to weather life’s financial storms as well as we are. Paul is an awesome person and I feel blessed to call him friend and be able to help him during this shitty time, just by advancing him money that I was going to pay him anyways. Something so small to me is huge for him and his family.
2/4/26: Lost track here for a bit. Attended NAMM last week with Paul, MaceyO, Quincy and Mike Giambusso. Had a good time though had to cut short due to a big snow storm that dumped nearly 2′ here in Boston area. It was cool being out there for a couple days and having the kids along. It was also kinda stressful as I was trying to ‘work’ a bit and filming for a video I’m putting together for NAMM and Guitar Center. I’m excited to be doing the projects and I think it will help us long term. I’m also gonna team up with Kato, who I can’t recall if I wrote about here but has become a friend in the last month or so. He’s an old Hasbro video dude that I think is going to make a great creative partner and already feels like an old friend.
Been practicing bass more lately in advance of a little recording at Plymouth. It’s just another dry run for the studio but instead of getting another band I put together my own project with Chuck, Jimmy, Mayo and Dave O’Neill. We’re gonna do a few ACDC songs and one Cars track. I’ll shoot video and make a little project of it also, since I don’t have any other music stuff happening yet.
Crissy had surgery to remove her recurrence of colon cancer. She is supposed to come home today I think. I texted with her briefly and it seems like it went well but she is hurting and the recovery will take time. They are testing what they removed and fingers crossed the surgery got it all and she won’t have to undergo chemo. Of course I want her to be ok and I’m also hopeful we can ramp up slowly towards playing music together again. We had a few conversations just prior with me, Lisa, Cid and her about rebooting a band. I’m super excited about it as I have a vision for an acoustic based group playing blues/rock with a spiritual/gospel kind of slant. I want it to come from an uplifting place and bring people together through the music. Playing with those guys would be amazing and fingers crossed Crissy will be aok and we can give it a whirl.
I’ve had a good month heading into week #5 today on Wegovy. I’m down about 5 lbs and feel and look slightly better. I’ve been exercising and hitting the gym more, though not insanely. Similarly, I’ve been eating well, way less snacking but also not in a crazy kind of way. Hope is that I can maintain this pattern and slowly drop about 50lbs in 2026. It feels great to even have a tiny bit of positive momentum after the last few years of downward spiraling.
1/20/26: Weighed myself and am down 3+ lbs. I felt like I was probably down but the scale is funny and I’m always nervous about it. I haven’t felt any side effects of the Wegovy. My digestion has changed a bit but I haven’t had the constipation, probably because I’ve been drinking lots of water. The heartburn has also been super minimal. I also don’t feel a huge sea change in the food noise or portions as of yet. I have been definitely controlling myself more and have been eating more steady and controlling my snacking. I’d been trying to do that before starting the meds, but I’m sure some of it is a result. I’ve had some cravings lately and been able to mostly keep them down. I’m hopeful the meds will kick in further and I’ll feel a larger change with the way I feel about food and I want to be patient. Losing even 5lbs a month would be a huge win and before long I’ll be in a better spot. I’m also continuing to visit PF and doing more walking and stretching and small changes. I did pushups a few times watching football, been taking the stairs and small things like that. Thankful for any amount of improvement so I don’t want to lose sight of that and know that I’m in this for the long haul.
The cream I got from the dermatologist seems to be working really well on my eye patch of crust. It’s a relief to know it’s most likely just a dry skin thing and not something more nefarious. I’m on the statin for cholesterol too, after all the doc visits I had around the holidays. Been feeling pretty good, with a touch more energy and body loosening. Grateful.
1/18/26: Drove up to see Abi play hockey and took her and Alyssa for sushi afterward. It was a fun game and Abi played great, even though they lost. Always nice to see those guys and everyone seems like they are doing well, Wyatt and Mike too. Thankful to have great family and to occasionally see and connect with them even though they live far away.
Lisa and I have been getting along great, last weekend really helped. Just need to keep the momentum going and find more time for each other in the bedroom. Feels good to have calm and joy in the house and want to keep it around as long as possible!
1/17/26: I’m a bit worried about Mike Banner, from my MoW route. He and I have become friends and really he’s the main reason I keep doing it. He’s an eccentric dude and a massive hoarder. All that aside he’s always been able to move and took a lot of pride in working in his yard. The last several months that’s changed and I’ve seen him deteriorate all while complaining about the pain he experiences and his limited movement. He won’t take meds and has a lot of inertia around getting help. He’s alone as his wife passed away and he has no kids or regular family. I brought him some firewood as he also won’t use the heat in his house and burns scraps in his wood stove. He’s sleeping right next to it and his kitchen area is almost unlivable and moving around is tough even for someone who can get around normally like me. I wish I could get him some help but I’m worried about calling OCES or one of the agencies because I know if they go to his house there will be issues created. Not sure what the answer is but I started asking Maria at the office about it and told her to be very careful. I don’t want him to be taken from his place or ordered to somehow clear his property. I know it’s crazy to live that way but he has chosen it regardless and it’s his. He just needs some help getting dressed, cleaning himself and ideally someone to convince him to try pain meds. I talked with him about it a little yesterday and am going to do that again when I get back from my LA trip. Hoping he can improve and he deserves to live with dignity and get some help in these areas without feeling afraid to ask.
1/16/26: Met this dude Kato through Stephanie Baxendale from Hasbro. He was at cakemix but surprisingly, we never crossed paths. He’s a musician and video guy. Also seems to have a big heart and backstory of being in trouble and he’s interested in working with Rawkstars. I think I’m going to hire him to edit and do post on this NAMM project once I get back. I think he could be a great asset / partner and perhaps fill a need. I enjoyed talking with him over coffee and left with a good vibe.
I also had a chat with Heather at RITS, about the Leland/Newport inclusion in the music program. It’s been kinda an issue for me but I’m feeling better about not making a fuss and simply bringing them into the mix. I was operating from fear before that they would take our gig and maybe someday that will happen, but even if it does, it won’t be because I tried to shut them out. I want what’s best for RITS, the kids, Heather, Larome, etc. and if we lost the gig, I can live with that knowing I stuck to my principles of building a bigger table. I can see what that is such a problem in the world because even with my own focus on it and such a small item such as this, it felt difficult. I’m grateful to have landed in a better spot and am thankful for RITS and all those folks. Perhaps Leland will even turn out to be a friend of Rawkstars and lead us to other things in return? I’m kinda proud of myself for living my beliefs in this instance.
1/15/26: Went to a seminar for Plymouth Public School art department yesterday. It was really cool and there were about 100 ppl there, mostly teachers of some sort. Met a few ppl before I had to cut out and Matt, Olivia and Mallory were all there as well. I think the opportunity is big for us to capitalize on the brainpower and networking in that room, to continue growing the community use for the club. I’m following up with Mallory tomorrow and hope to keep the progress going.
Had breakfast afterward with Jason Lily. Really enjoyed his company and even though we’ve known each other a long time, we haven’t spent much 1:1 time together. He’s going to help us with our financial plan and we’re in the process of getting to know each other and submitting all our info. I was psyched to connect with a like minded person who I have new things in common with. Felt like I made a new friend and that’s something I feel is kinda lacking for me. Too bad we don’t live a bit closer to Tina, as I feel we could spend more time together with them and the girls, who I also admire a lot.
Had my doc appt with the dermatologist about the patch above my eye. She wasn’t 100% sure what it was but the hope is it’s simply dermatitis and some stronger cream can clear it up. I actually feel like it’s slightly better after just 2 applications, so fingers crossed. I was reminded that nana had cancer that grew on her eye and part of me is worried about that ofc. I have a follow up in 6 weeks to see whether its cleared up or not and we’ll go from there.
1/14/26: Productive few days. Had a call with Steve from MAP and we are re-upping for the remainder of 2026 school year. That’s great news and will help us surpass our revenue target for that program location, while ofc also bringing more kids into the studio, etc. I got a note from Jayden, this beefy white hip-hop kid I met in class. He puts out an intimidating vibe but is also quite personable and kind. He’s texted me and Q says he has studio skills beyond the others. He asked about borrowing a mic for his home computer and after checking with MAP, I bought him one. He was very humble and thankful for it and sent me a nice message. I love the personal interactions I get with the kids and developing our relationship with MAP is a really positive thing.
I also met with this woman Jackie about using the studio space for some rehearsals leading up to the 250 year anniversary concert in Plymouth. She’s a friend of Matt, so there’s no income associated for the foundation but it’s more usage and will bring several older, local musicians into the space, which has good value. I need to figure out some logistics, but it should work out fine. I also enjoyed connecting with her as I think she’s pretty talented and during our chat she dropped a mention of having recorded at Barbara Mandrell’s studio, which made me smile with a blast from the past name drop 🙂
1/12/26: Recovery day at home mostly watching football. Lisa and I came back at around 11am from the hotel stay. I slept like total ass. Drinking never helps but there was also lots of commotion at the hotel, namely some family arguing late at night in the hallway. Add to that a crappy set of pillows and the room being hot and my sleep was awful. I know I sound like a crotchety old bastard, and I suppose I am. Nothing compares to sleeping in your own bed and I was grateful for an awesome night sleep at home. Lisa was also in a good mood and did some cooking while I watched the games. We took down the xmas stuff finally and at night, I saw the Patriots beat the chargers. Cool seeing them return to some kind of form after the Brady Dynasty and a few down years in between.
1/11/26: Lisa and I had a ‘date night’ yesterday. I booked a room in PVD so we could get out of the house and try to break the ice on the sex side. It worked 🙂 I’ve been struggling with ed and I tried to take a viagra for the first time. It didn’t really work and I’m not sure what went wrong, but we were able to make it work and enjoyed being together for the first time in a while. We went to a cool little tapas bar and had a few drinks and an app before returning to the hotel for a bit then heading to Oyster Bar, our old standby joint. It felt good, not only in a sex way, but in the way of reconnecting and feeling a spark again. I know it’s been a weird stretch of time for us but last night was really nice. Hoping to use it as a turning point and get back to some regular touching and togetherness improving overall.
1/10/26: Got to the gym yesterday for a brief walk. It was unplanned as I was home working and Lisa had to take a call, so I decided to just go over. It felt nice to be attentive. I went over again this AM and saw our friend Laurie. I know it’s just been a short time but I’m feeling positive and I can feel those tiny inklings that arise when you move after periods of sedentary.
I also weighed myself for the first time in months and it was a nice surprise. I weighed 277 which is higher than I want of course but I was expecting something higher, considering how I’ve felt. I guess that’s another indicator of how poorly my health has been that I feel worse than my weight. Anyways, not feeling sorry for myself just proud to be taking small steps and to be slow and deliberate in my approach to doing better.
1/9/26: Got my lab work back from Firefly yesterday and it confirmed my psa levels were fine. On the bad side, it confirmed my cholesterol was very high. My doc is recommending I go on a statin to lower my levels. I’m not shocked but must say it felt shitty to confirm this in writing. I’ve been avoiding all this and even weighing myself, out of fear, which feels silly even to type. Ofc I am going to take the meds as I understand having my numbers so high is a bad idea and won’t turn out well. All told I’m continuing to be grateful for my relative level of health as described below, but also for being able to face these things in recent days. Getting the labs done was a positive step and my activity level has increased a bit too, which is also good. Hopefully a heightened focus on all this info will result in improvements to my health and I can get back to a normal range soon and stop having to rely on meds.
1/7/26: Been easing into work life the last few days as the world emerges from the holiday break together. Had a pretty chill day planned but as it turned out, was super ‘productive’. I got Mike G started down at FRB&GC and it was nice to visit onsite as I hadn’t been there in a bit. Melissa and Bill are cool and even though I sometimes get frustrated with the comms, I know they are on top of things. We’re expanding back up to 4 classes per week with Rilla now doing 2 in the teen center and Mike doing 2 with the youngsters. It’ll result in a little extra cash for us at the end of the cycle, and we’re adding to the amount of kids served, both positive developments. I also had a call with Sharon at NAMM Foundation and she sent over an itinerary and a badge link for everyone to get registered. I’m excited for that trip and need to put in some time before we leave for planning the video(s) portion. I plan to reach out to Myka from Guitar Center since I assume they will be there and perhaps I can double dip and create a video for them as well, bringing both partnerships closer to the center for Rawkstars. Marshfield is also settling in for the new semester. We met briefly and talked about the potential for an extra uke class, which would extend our footprint there and increase our bill slightly, similar to Fall River. I have a meeting with Steve at MAP next week to discuss upcoming semesters and see if we will extend our agreement with them, which I really want to do. Lastly on Rawkstars side, I had some texts with Leland from Newport. Not sure how much I’ve written about that here, but it’s been a source of stress for me. They want to come into RITS and start programming, alongside Rawkstars. It wouldn’t really be a partnership, more like a parallel offering. I’ve been afraid it could wind up supplanting Rawkstars as essentially they would be providing service for free, instead of our billing the school. Larome is kinda of pushing it down to me, which in a way feels good, but also is generating anxiety due to my lack of confidence in having them compete with us. Part of me wants him and / or Heather to shut it down, so I don’t have to deal with it. At the end of the day I’m feeling conflicted about doing what’s best for Rawkstars as opposed to what may be best for the school. I did have a text thread with Leland last night which kinda felt good. It’s this idea of humanizing the interaction with someone you fear or disagree with. I’m pretty sure the answer is to welcome them in, and if it winds up taking us out of the picture, so be it, even if that would hurt a lot. It’s the only want to really align our values with our actions, which is something I’m always upset about others not doing in the world.
I visited the Quest lab and had blood drawn, as part of my annual health visit. My blood pressure was a touch high, but not alarming. I’ve been so afraid to see my numbers and even weigh myself, as the last while has not been good for me. I know it’s stupid and not knowing isn’t going to help, but I’m human and simply avoiding something I fear. So anyways, it felt good to make the appt and visit and we’ll see what the data has to say. I’m having a PSA test done to check my prostrate, after conversations with Marc Isveck and my constant urination, that’s been a thing for years now. Doctor ordered some other panels and I expect to hear in a day or two. I also got a referral and appt for a skin visit, to check out the patch over my eyes, which hasn’t gone away. lastly, I talked with Lisa about the GLP/Wegovy thing which I haven’t been open about the last few weeks, even as I signed up and paid for my first shipment (which came last night and I took a few minutes ago) — again, I know all of this is stupid, as she is supportive and doesn’t care about the $ and just wants to see me take better care of myself. I’m literally praying that I have a good experience over the next several weeks/months and am able to get my weight under control. I’ve had a good week of eating on my own and increasing my activity and I want to continue on the gym path combined with the intended effects of the meds to help me eat less, hopefully. This is my chance to regain my life and turn my health back towards a good trajectory. I know it won’t be a magic bullet and I’ll need to continue to work at it, and block off my calendar to make exercise and self-care a daily part of my regimen. After all, my new work life has the major benefit of time and giving me the chance to focus on things besides making $ or furthering my ‘career path’. I’m trying to reinforce that with myself each day and thankful I’m still here to continue trying.
1/5/26: No gym yesterday but I set an intention to eat well and do something good for my body, both of which I accomplished. I did some light stretching and managed a few pushups, something I haven’t done in months. I also prepared some healthy food, made a big salad and paid attention to the minor discomfort of refraining from binge eating. It was the last day of the winter holiday break and it felt good to stay grounded and be slow.
1/4/26: Second day at gym. Pushed myself to embrace discomfort and glad for another small victory. Q took the fam to a cat cafe in Fall River. It was cool and a very sweet thought from him. The place itself wasn’t anything special, but the idea is fun and being together was nice. We got lunch after at Twins and I ordered chicken with a side salad and boiled potatoes. I think it was a better choice than the usual steak plate or other fried items I may have chosen and again, I took pleasure in the small victory. Nice to have yet another day together with the kids in what has been a nice run of togetherness.
Finding myself struggling mentally with relationships. So many ppl I’ve been close to are some form of Trumpers. I’ve found such disgust in the state of politics and the divisive mess our homeland has become. Ignoring the conversation in so many friendships has me down in a way I can’t recall ever having felt about this subject. Yesterday I sent a NY text to Lou, Red and Paul, who all fit that category. It felt nice to connect with them in a meaningful way, and my hope is that by drawing closer the feeling will relax. Mike, Kevin, Dave, Ed and others are in this category and it’s strange and discomforting to think ill of those guys, when in other ways we’ve always been pretty close. I know many are struggling with this same phenomenon and it’s yet another example of the difficult situation our country is in atm. Never thought the way my country acted would be such a source of shame. US has a lot of complicated history, but for my entire life I always viewed it as improving for most people. For the first time, I feel like more people here have it worse and that it’s self-inflicted.
1/3/26: My new bass arrived yesterday and it’s gorgeous. I unpacked it and it’s literally brand new with the plastic still intact on the pickups and guard. The neck is so damn smooth and even though it’s been freezing out and the package has been on the road, it came out of the case and was in tune! Haven’t put it through the full paces yet but looking forward to breaking it in and exploring all it’s sounds. I did some minor cleanup in the studio and brought my Spark amp to Rick’s for consignment sale. I picked up a check while I was there and also visited the Narrows and picked up $ there. Off to a good start and thankful for being in a solid position to begin the year. Excited about the coming months and seeing where things go.
I got to the gym yesterday and spent the day trying to focus on intention. I’m reminding myself of the concept of embracing the uncomfortable. I want to be able to get back to being a person who feels good about himself and add that confidence and energy to the other things in my life, instead of having that be a drain and struggling. Balance has always been tough for me and I tend to excel in one area while suffering in others. Hoping I can get closer to being solid in the few areas that matter instead of over-achieving and suffering at the same time.
1/2/26: As 2025 ends, I figured it makes some sense to recap and look back at just a few of the things I’m grateful for in the past year.
1 – I’m still alive. Although it’s been a tough year for me gaining weight and managing my fitness, I’m still here. No real injuries or outward, immediate issues. I’m definitely feeling rough physically but it could be worse and I still have opportunities to make things better.
2 – Family. Bella and Quincy are doing awesome. Our relationships are strong and the family unit is pretty great overall. My situation with Lisa isn’t quite as good, but it’s also a little better than last year I think. Our sex life questions are still there, and I need to make that a focus or risk things deteriorating. I’m grateful for everything we have together and I think she is too. Like my weight, I know it’s not awesome but it can also get better with some effort.
3 – Financials are strong. We sold Azalea, which was a huge amount of drama and also a huge boon to our finances. We already have another $250k towards retirement. I’ve also set aside the tax payment, we paid off Lisa’s car, our credit card and all the expenses we borrowed from the equity line in order to make the sale. We’re definitely gonna take a family vacation and will have a replenished slush fund for emergencies. My income should also improve this year with taking on JGF and increasing my Rawkstars salary. Lisa remains solid with her job and we swapped insurance plans, which she seems happy with too. After the last few years of having my income and job loss, it feels good to be back in solid footing on the cash flow side, while also contributing a nice chunk towards our retirement and removing the burden of Azalea.
4 – Rawkstars had an incredible year. It grew exponentially, and I was able to secure several new partnerships, add new programs and attract some grant funding. I’ve had great luck finding and keeping solid teachers, despite churning through a few different folks at Fall River and Marshfield and RITS. We increased our slush fund by $10k and are poised for a strong start in 2026. I’m hopeful to stabilize what we have, attract a few new funders and possibly add one new program partner, though that is not my main goal. I’d be happy to simply retain the ones we have without adding and I intend to focus on improving the Fan Club situation by serving them better and also recruiting to try and add 100 new members this year. That would have the same effect as getting a $10k grant, with the benefit of renewing year over year and also increasing our visibility and core donor base.
