Me

I started this blog because I want to write.  Always have.  Ideally, I’ll write about things that others find interesting, while helping me learn about myself and become a ‘better’ writer, whatever that means. At minimum, I’ll develop a writing habit, which is awesome.

This page already feels self indulgent.  That said, anything I write is colored by my life experiences and I want to establish some background about how the fuck I arrived here.

Consider this one page where I can write about myself without feeling the need for it to be useful, meaningful or instructive to anyone but me.

One day, this site will be all that’s left of me, so I might as well write a mini autobiography.

Me in 5 minutes:

Born in 1970, I’ve been married for twenty-something years my high school crush and the person I’ve been closest to since 1985/86, Lisa.  Together, we have 2 awesome kids, Bella (2001) & Quincy (2006).

During my professional life, I’ve worked as a live sound engineer, tour manager, web developer, technology manager, non-profit executive director, corporate philanthropist, real estate investor, business consultant and formed two (official) businesses.  I consider each of these careers, since I’ve spent lots of time on each and made money from all of them.  I’d like to add at least one more gig to that list before it’s over.  Perhaps it’s working for myself, as I am doing as of 2023.

I’m hyper-organized, interested in secular buddhism, food, live music, travel, photography, philanthropy, writing, human connection, sports (baseball, hockey, tennis & college football), being creative, self-reflection and trying to be healthy even when it’s hard as fuck.

In 2003, I founded a charity called Rawkstars, Inc. to help kids develop life-skills through music.

In 2023, I founded an LLC called The Greater Good Project, to take a swing at running my own consulting company, while doing things I love that are good for the world.

I’ve struggled with weight for at least 3/4 of my life.  I lost over 110lbs. and kept it off for a decade. I even ran the Falmouth Road Race 5x.

The list of bands I’ve worked with is wicked long.  The most personally important/impactful are probably these: Wargasm, Auditory Imagery/Blizzard, Fates Warning, StripMind/Seka, Lillian Axe, Peter Wolf, Cro-Mags, Tony MacAlpline, Two Ton Shoe, 6L6, Mia Boostrom, Armored Saint.

I’ve performed as part of (3) official bands: Blizzard (1986), Wicked Blue (2017 – 2020), Heavy Mellow (2022 – )

The Sopranos is my favorite all-time television show followed by The Wire, Mad Men, True Detective and Breaking Bad.  I listen to tons of music, but am most deeply rooted in blues-based hard rock (Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Kiss, Rainbow), European heavy metal (Maiden, Priest, Scorpions, Michael Schenker, Thin Lizzy) and Motown/Soul (Supremes, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Sade, Temptations).  Watching/listening and attending live music is where I feel most at home.

I’ve struggled with mental health and had at least 2 serious ‘breakdowns’, if that’s what they’re called.  Each has changed my life in terrible and beautiful ways.

I’m Jewish, but identify more with Secular Buddhism than anything else.  Spirituality is important to me and has helped me become a better person, especially after age 40 or so.

I consume content from creators I consider insightful, intelligent, creative, role model-esque and generous.  The short list includes Sadhguru, Alan Watts, Seth Godin, Rick Rubin, Scott Galloway, Tara Brach and Thich Naht Hanh.

I’ve visited more than 20 countries and would like to visit as many new ones as possible while I’m still here.

Me in 20 minutes:

I’m choosing to write this section with some semblance of chronology, using projects, big life events or jobs as milestones.  It’s not intended to be comprehensive or overly detailed.  I equate it to leaving sparse breadcrumbs to mark my journey, as I remember it. There are also certainly huge gaps where important things happened, or recent events that I never took time to update.

The 70’s:  I grew up in a middle class suburb to Jewish parents who I never remember liking each other.  During this time, I developed an affinity for Elvis and later KISS, often performing in front of my bedroom mirror lip-synching Hound Dog or Detroit Rock City.  I played little league baseball, which I wasn’t awesome at but grew to love the sport deeply.  My mom was a housewife, cleaning incessantly, nagging and worried, but all from a place of genuine love even when I didn’t realize it.  My older brother was a bonafide introvert, though very loving and protective towards me through these early years.  My old man was a 6′ 6″ domineering force and I recall multiple stories that involved him physically assaulting someone.  He sold toys, loved flea markets, coached my little league team and took me to see Celtics and Red Sox games.  We spent lots of time with my maternal grandparents (nana & papa), who accepted me more than my nuclear family could. They were probably the best role models I had during this early time.

The 80’s:  By the time I got to High School, my folks had been divorced for a few years. With my dad out of the picture, I swung the pendulum towards out of control activities, focused on creating my own identity, often at the expense of my own wellness. Most would say I was a maniac and they wouldn’t be far off. I also started to gain weight steadily. I could always make people laugh and developed into a full blown class clown, seeking attention, often of the negative variety.  I was popular and made friends easily though never had any luck or confidence with girls because of my weight.  I graduated from Elvis and Kiss to Metallica, Iron Maiden and The Supremes.  I struggled with family, as my mom remarried and I grew further away from my brother simply due to having little in common other than being related and our continued difficulty in deepening familial relationships.  I got into tons of trouble, at school and with the police. A few of those were pretty fucking serious and dumb luck prevented me from experiencing life-altering setbacks.  Music officially became my identity.  Things grew so strained for me at home, that I spent weeks and months on end staying with friends on couches. The families of Adam Thornton, Lou Silva and Tom Perry sustained me often. I tried moving to Florida with my dad on two separate occasions, both of which ended pretty badly.  I met my wife, Lisa, during Freshmen year of High School.  I introduced myself to her by autographing a cigarette and telling her to keep it as it would be worth money someday.  I briefly sang in a band called Blizzard.  Though I never really had any true talent as a musician, this experience would shape the rest of my life more than anything.

At the end of HS (which I never officially graduated from) I had a light bulb moment.  I got a glimpse of the recording studio and process of making/producing/recording music.  I also had the first in a series of jobs that I consider truly unique and special.  Good Vibrations record warehouse.  Good Vibes was filled with talented, original, funny, smart musicians and fit me like a glove.  A connection I made there (Jonathan Cardoni) helped me to get on the path to becoming an audio engineer, setting me up at Bill T. Miller’s Boston studio, Headroom.  Prior to that, I had no direction, motivation or desire to pursue any particular career.  It immediately paid dividends and I started a run of working for tons of local bands, starting with Wargasm.  They were 3 guys from my hometown of Stoughton, and went to my High School.  All 3 of them also worked at Good Vibes and connecting with them had a profound impact on my life.  People often say that a band changed their life, but it’s typically a metaphor.  Not in this case.  Being part of their inner circle and mixing the band gave me a high profile in the music scene.  I enjoyed a steady musical education with dozens of talented local acts, studios and venues around Boston and its suburbs.  I was immersed in music and became proficient at the craft of mixing, which led to opportunities to travel the world doing something I loved deeply.  Through the end of this decade and into the next I toured with acts including Wargasm, The Cro-Mags, Tony MacAlpine, Stripmind, Lillian Axe, Peter Wolf, Fates Warning and Armored Saint. Fates Warning in particular, brought me to the furthest points I had visited including Russia, Brazil and nearly all of Europe.  I continue to have a relationship with those guys to this day and couldn’t be more thankful for our time together and making me a footnote in the very music scene that’s meant everything to me.

The 90’s:  After 8+ years of mixing, Tour Managing and producing bands, I decided it was time to change.  I had just finished a stressful run of Europe with Fates and Dream Theater and returned home looking for something with less travel and more predictability and opportunity.  To supplement my knowledge of audio, I enrolled video classes at Mass Communications College.  The outcome was a gig working for The Fleet Center and later NESN.  I got the Fleet Center gig because I had the forethought to bring a resume with me on a class field trip and the balls to take the dude in charge (John Mitchell) aside and ask him for a gig.  A week later, he called me and gave me a shot.  I was surrounded by technology and pressure packed live events, both of which I was already super comfortable with.  Instead of music, I was working in support of live sports, which I had loved all my life.  I got a behind the scenes view of the Bruins, Celtics and Red Sox.  The excitement level was high, but I was struggling financially and lacked the opportunity and growth I was seeking. This was my second job that fit the unique/special/impactful profile.

As the decade wore on, the world wide web was burgeoning and I decided again on a career pivot.  I took a class called ‘Client Server & Web Development’ at Clark University and began a 20+ year run in technology.  For the first several years I worked as a web developer.  It was creative and I was good at it.  I met amazing people and worked for fortune 500 clients at a couple of amazing companies; Digitas & Upromise (see above the list of kick-ass jobs I’ve had)

The 00’s:  The beginning of the new century brought two huge events.  I became a dad when Bella was born in July and 2 short months later, 9/11 hit while we watched in horror from my office in The Prudential Building.  Soon after the towers fell, I experienced my first professional layoff.  Being a newly minted parent, moving into a brand new home that we had built (44 Silvia Farm Drive) and becoming the sole bread winner for a family at this time was scary as shit.  I managed to land on my feet and quickly acquired a position at small boutique agency in Boston called BaseSix.  I learned resiliency during this period which I would need again soon as B6 began to crumble.  From there, I landed at Upromise, where I stayed for over 7 years.  During this stint I migrated from developer to technology, people and project manager.  It suited my personality and came along with increased responsibility, visibility and compensation. It was a great startup vibe which slowly waned as the company was acquired and went public. I met more fabulous people than I can count and remain close with several to this day.

During this time, I worked with the uncertainty of someone who recently experienced 2 layoffs.  I thought long and hard about taking more control over my own destiny and founded Rawkstars in 2003.  It was the culmination of a growing sense of seeking purpose (before I even knew that was a thing), which technology projects did not provide, and something of my own to pour myself into fully.  I wanted to combine my passion for music with the business and technology skills I was gaining in a way of controlling my own professional destiny more directly.  It was a formula that would stick with me and one I would eventually add to with the idea of focusing on things to improve life for others and the world. At the end of the decade, Upromise was toast and resulted in a large severance package coming my way.

I became a dad for the second time when Quincy joined the family in 2006.  Having two kids was a big sea change for the household.  Being 5 years apart gave us time to become better parents and I learned to be less controlling, more patient and more loving as a person.

During this decade, travel became a great passion of mine. I had visited many counties and cities through my time in the music biz, but had now begun to travel for pleasure, with Lisa. We developed a love of visiting other places and had the great fortune to share cool experiences across countries like Mexico, Jamaica, Belize, Costa Rica, Iceland and others.

The 10’s:  I re-joined Digitas and on the generous heels of the package I received from Upromise, bought our first investment property (Pilgrim Village).  Work continued to be solid but unfulfilling, but through Rawkstars, I was able to connect hundreds of kids, parents, musicians, teachers, music store owners and nonprofits who needed help.  I strategized and executed many amazing concerts, fundraisers and projects of all shapes and sizes while making tremendous impact on the lives of many, including myself.  These nascent times formed the bedrock of the long-standing community of ‘chosen family’ that has been built through the charity.

We later added to our portfolio by purchasing 2 additional rental properties. The next being a joint venture with Mikey & Alyssa Bento (Willow Street in Providence) and eventually a 1/2 duplex (Azalea Drive).  All of these had a huge impact on me personally and offered lots of learning and life lessons I’m thankful for. It’s also provided huge comfort and flexibility in times when I was unsure about our financial future.

I turned 40.  After the death of Ronnie James Dio and Peter Steele, I finally began my journey towards better health.  I managed to drop 100+ lbs. and keep it off.  I even started running and completed The Falmouth Road Race (7.1 miles) 5 times, among other fitness milestones and events. Running was a concept I never conceived of, being obese for much of my life.  I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I left Digitas the second time (finally leaving a job of my own accord!) and got another tech position at Hasbro.  It improved my lifestyle very much, allowing a much shorter commute time and a far less intense environment.  As mentioned above, I’ve had an incredibly special run of employers, gigs and positions and Hasbro fit right in. It also brought me closer to Providence and Rhode Island, which has become my adopted home where I feel at home and love spending time.  The investment property we purchased there may eventually become our full-time home, once we become empty nesters.

I developed a deep interest in secular Buddhism and began pretty regular practices of meditation and writing.  Like most new habits, both came in fits and starts but have become big parts of my life and growth.

I kicked around Europe a few times during the decade with Fates Warning again. I got to experience some amazing destinations and truly memorable gigs. We did Sweden Rock, Hard Rock Festival and gigged in Russia, to name a few. Through that experience, Joey wound up hiring me for a few gigs with Armored Saint, when they needed a Tour Manager.  Meeting those guys was awesome and we bonded quickly, having come from such similar places musically. Super thankful I got a few last kicks at the can, to do something that made my life so very unique and wonderful.

In the second half of the decade, I began to approach music as a player, as opposed to on the production or business sides.  I had always owned a bass guitar, but never spent much time with it. I started jamming with Lisa, after she had come out of her own music shell. She was rehearsing with two other chicks (our cousin Cidalia and new friend Crissy Azzinaro) and one night I tagged along and soon we became Wicked Blue. We played several gigs over a few years and it was exciting to become a performer and see music through a 360 degree lens. It fizzled out eventually, like most bands, but gave me the confidence to keep trying to play music with others, albeit modestly.

At the tail end of the decade, a new chapter for Rawkstars began to unfold.  We started a pilot music program inside a state prison (Middlesex house of Corrections), calling it ‘Guitars Behind Bars’.  I also developed a platform to transform Rawkstars from an organic fundraising organization to a subscription based entity, in an attempt to operationalize and accelerate our growth. We have nearly 200 monthly Fan Club members whose immense generosity and belief in Rawkstars (and me), has brought me countless beautiful experiences in the form of helping others through music.  It’s changed the lives of many, and most certainly mine.

The 20’s:  This decade began with a bang, as Covid-19 struck the world. It was the biggest cultural change of our lives as literally almost everything shut down and everyone was forced to stay home for months. It was scary at first and also brought some people closer. It coincided with my first mental health crisis. I had been feeling out of place on my team at work and was struggling to feel like I was contributing, or valued, or happy in what I was doing. Covid exacerbated it by isolating me to wallow in these feelings. I wound up taking a leave of absence from Hasbro, as I tried to get myself together. It’s impossible to describe what I was feeling here, but suffice it to say it was the worst stretch of my life to date.

It also eventually led me to one of the most beautiful things that ever happened, changing careers (again) and moving into Corporate Philanthropy. I owe it all to two people. Kevin Colman, who wound up becoming my manager and Dolph Johnson, who facilitated the whole transition. I’ve never had someone do something that selfless for me as an adult, especially someone I barely knew. It literally saved me from god knows what and as soon as I began the new work, I felt better immediately. The position was easily the best thing to happen to me professionally in forever.  I was making great money, working with cool people, doing things I loved.  Kinda the holy grail, eh?

Like everything, it wouldn’t last and I came crashing down to Earth after getting unceremoniously laid off in November of 2022. On the heels of losing that gig, I interviewed 8x for another great gig, leading Corporate Citizenship for a fortune 250 company. After 3 months of stress and investment, I got cut loose at the 11th hour. That lead me down a rabbit hole of depression that was ever stronger/deeper than the one I experienced a few years earlier. Lisa was my rock during this time as were Bella and Quincy. I wound up briefly checking myself into a hospital, which was an awful experience, but brought me to the precipice of taking medication for the first time ever. Thankfully, it worked and I was able to stabilize and move forward from a dark, desperate place to slowly get back on my feet.

On the work side, I got some inquiries from friends about working on projects for them. First was PeaceLove, who almost immediately reached out and tried to hire me. While it didn’t quite work out, I started consulting part-time for them, which was a great first step back to normalcy and also something that meant a lot personally, after feeling rejected in the harshest possible terms. Next came Music & Youth and my old colleague Gary. I took a similar approach with him and started consulting. In parallel, I had pitched and executed another music program in a prison, this time a juvenile facility. That brought me even more gig work in the form of storytelling/video/event production for DYS, specifically in the realm of kids in corrections. This began the next right turn of my life and career.

After securing this gig work, I decided to throw myself into the idea of working for myself. I founded an LLC called, The Greater Good Project. The idea is around project work, but focusing only on companies that I feel are doing something to improve the world for others. It’s a great concept, though a huge sea change from being in Corporate America for a few decades.

It’s taken me a full year to emotionally change my thinking to this approach, but each month I’ve been able to stay afloat brings me closer to confidently continuing and believing I can do this. Lisa also started back to work full-time, after losing her job at Patriot during Covid. That was a big deal for her, though it took me a while to realize the depth. She had worked for Dave nearly 20 years and never could have imagined how things would change so quickly. Once I lost my gig at Hasbro, she found the confidence to put herself out there and landed a full-time gig, which stabilized things at home greatly. It brought us medical insurance and a regular stream of income, while I was able to get money coming in myself.

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