I use this space to write about things I am grateful for on a daily basis. I try to identify something that happened the prior day as a reminder of all the amazing people, activities and experiences I am blessed to enjoy. The format is loose but the intention is to develop a habit of gratitude to better frame my day. Most days, my morning routine includes a short meditation and/or stretching, drinking a glass of water with a multi-vitamin, making a pot of strong, black coffee, and writing a brief note to add to the list below.
12/29/19: Went out with Sonya and Imran last night. We had a really nice night and took them around Providence. We started at The Avery, which is a bar I’ve been wanting to check out for a while. It’s adjacent to the old location of North, which is now occupied by Big King. It’s at the top of my wish list for restaurants, but we couldn’t get a table until super late so we settled for a drink. Then we made our way to The Eddy, an old standby around the corner from PPAC. After lots of conversation about food and travel, we got hungry enough for dinner and walked down to Oberlin. The food was outstanding! We ordered a plethora of small plates, each one more tasty than the last. We shared a whole fluke and a bottle of sake. We ended the night at Pastiche for coffee and sweets. It was really fun and great to get out and connect with some people. Those guys are really nice and I was thankful for the time together. I am also thankful for the option to eat such amazing food and to be able to afford experiences like that financially.
12/26/19: Xmas day yesterday. Low key lunch at the Bento’s. Kelly didn’t come since she had an appendectomy so it was just us, Rob and the boys. I’m thankful to have such great in-laws and for Lisa’s family overall. We had amazing food of course, and it was a mellow hang. Also thankful that our kids have everything they need and are still empathetic, hard working, generous, smart and well behaved. Olga and Joe are such great role models and also excellent cooks 🙂
12/24/19: We took the kids to the South Shore Plaza yesterday. They both had money from celebrating Hanukkah the night before with the family. I had been home all day, so I was eager to get out. I’m not much of a shopper but it was nice to be out and see tons of people bustling. I bought a t-shirt for Lanzetta but that was it. Quincy used nearly all of his loot ($95) to purchase gifts for random friends and Bella. He, and Bella, are both very generous with their money and I’m super thankful that’s a lesson they have learned from me and Lisa. It’s really touching to see and it made me really happy.
12/21/19: Lisa and I went to see Marcus King Band last night. We booked a room and spent the night up in Northampton. It’s a cool little town and we had a lot of fun. The show was great and MK was incredible in a live setting. I don’t know a ton of his music, but have been watching videos on youtube for quite some time and had been trying to see him for about a year. His playing was off the charts. Such a natural, fluid player with tone, chops and feel for days. He writes great songs and is only like 23 years old. Thankful to have such experiences with Lisa and that we can enjoy music, each other and traveling around with such ease and regularity.
12/20/19: Took the family to see Star Wars episode 9 last night. Everyone loved it. It was exciting and dramatic, everything you’d expect and want from SW. Q totally dug it, which was awesome to see. Thankful that we can all enjoy something like that together as a family.
12/18/19: Went to lunch with Julie and Mac yesterday. We ate at the Pho place that occupies the old Ken’s Ramen space. It was good though nothing can replace Ken’s. I enjoyed the simple food and connecting with cool people. Grateful to have interesting folks to share time with and for the light holiday schedule recently at work.
I also ate mindfully during a day when it was difficult. Started with muffins and pastry at the PMO team meeting. Then the aforementioned lunch, where I could have overindulged. Later in the day Shree and the TCS team gifted me a huge bag of chocolates. I did a good job of breathing through those thoughts and was able to avoid going off the cliff. Thankful for at least moments of clarity and the ability to act mindfully around food.
12/17/19: Had lunch with Jason and Saravan at Hasbro yesterday. I don’t usually eat in the caf but spontaneously joined them since it’s been so slow. It was nice to catch up with some folks I don’t talk with regularly. Also, Saravan offered the use of his login for Disney+, which Quincy had been asking me for. I set it up on our Roku and we watched the Mandalorian last night together. After dinner, we also watched Episode 7 with both kids, which was really fun. The new movie is coming out Thursday so we are in full Star Wars mode at home. I’m grateful to have something that the 4 of us can connect on together and enjoy the simple, classic storytelling of the SW universe.
12/16/19: I ate mindfully over the weekend. Super grateful. Been truly struggling with my intake, mindset and energy over the last few months. Lisa and I talked a bit about it while we sipped coffee on Saturday morning and it helped. I’m thankful to have such a supportive wife, who can be a stabilizing force for me. Nothing fancy, just being open and talking made me feel better and led to a solid weekend of mindful consumption.
12/15/19: Came home last night after seeing Chuck’s band and then going to Mike Mooney’s party. Bella came with us to the party after Subway and it was great to have her along. Everyone was of course glad to see her and we had some fun. I ate well, which was my main concern. After we got home, we hung out in the living room for a bit before hitting the sack. We were all happy and laughing. Lisa and I were buzzed but there was a cool, happy vibe and everyone was feeling it. Grateful the kids are still glad to spend time with us and enjoy connecting with our friends.
12/13/19: Yesterday was the GDOJ project at Hasbro and I lead the Kindness project again. We had a great team of 40+ people and I enjoyed it as always. I was less active as a participant this year since I was the main organizer, but it was still a great experience. We had many new faces on the teams and I met some new Hasbro people. We met Brian Goldner, the CEO, at WalMart and shopped for some folks in the store as well as a local charity called Crossroads. Afterward, I delivered the loot to Crossroads and it’s always a cool time to connect with the folks receiving the donations. Many on the teams had cool stories of impact and I could tell some of them truly enjoyed the experience. I’m grateful that my company supports these types of functions but also that I am able to put my skills to use with internal folks to help others and themselves.
Bella came home yesterday for winter break. She’ll be here for about a month, which is great. We more or less finished all the room moving and cleaning activities. Both kids seem happy with their new digs and we managed to replace the carpet and get rid of some junk in the process. It’s nice having them settled in and to have our space slightly improved for little money.
12/11/19: I’m leading up a project at work called ‘Mission Kindness’. I’ve participated in it for the last 3 years and have taken over as the lead for IT. It’s a fun effort as part of Hasbro’s ‘global day of joy’. In a nutshell, we are allotted $500 to use doing random acts of kindness for folks in the local area. Yesterday I met with the group leads to walk through the project and answer questions. It’s always a nice time at work and tomorrow is the event. Grateful to work for a company that invests in philanthropy and is supportive of these types of events. Also thankful to be leading such a project and working with the philanthropy team closely to put it together.
At home, we finished off the room transitions and Q spent the night in his new digs. Thankful that we were able to make the switch smoothly and have Bella’s new room ready for her when she comes back home tonight. I also got her car serviced, and it was less expensive than I planned. Grateful to be able to keep everything going for my family and that I have the financial ability to cover all the costs that arise unexpectedly.
12/10/19: Had lunch with some old 02072 friends, Brian McGowan and Matt Gilman, who both work at Hasbro. It was nice to catch up with them as we don’t see each other a ton, even though we work at the same company. It was a good reminder for me about my own health, as both of those guys are fit. Grateful to be reminded about the importance of taking care of myself and to have some friends who embody (pun intended!) that ideal.
12/9/19: Hectic weekend. Had Bella’s old bedroom re-carpeted yesterday. That required emptying and cleaning it on Saturday, which was a big chore. It looks great and last night we started to put things back together. Quincy will be moving in probably tonight and I’m thankful that he will have the chance to occupy the space for however long we remain in the house. I also had Bella’s car towed to Joe Dias, for some repairs. It’s been sitting idle in the driveway and won’t start. Thankful that I can afford things like this to serve my kids and family.
I had some downtime yesterday while the carpet was being installed and Lisa was out at work. I started learning Sabbath Bloody Sabbath and got through the whole song, enough to even make a practice video playing along with it. Great song and an excellent addition to Heavy Mellow’s set. Speaking of which, on Friday, we all met at Shoveltown Brewery in Easton for some laughs. I told everyone that Anthony is going to leave the band and we discussed future state. I’m planning to as Wabrek to gague his interest. Hopeful he will be into it as I think he’s a great player and a good chemistry guy for us. On Friday during the day, I went to spend the afternoon with Joe at his studio. We mixed the tracks from the gig and they sound pretty solid. It’s always fun hanging out there with him and I am so fond of being in the studio environment. It’s one of my happy places and I’m appreciative of all the opportunities I have to spend time in that space. Grateful to have the band and music in my life overall, as an outlet and something to focus on that means so much to me.
12/6/19: I’ve been in a malaise lately, especially at the office. Physically I’m not taking great care of myself. I know this yet I cannot seem to break the cycle and improve my eating and exercise level. I’m stagnant at the job, not working on anything important. Mailing it in plenty of days. I know the time of year has something to do with it. I’ve experienced this many times. I also know it will pass and I’m not letting it get the best of me, still it’s a thing. Had a great conversation with Jonas yesterday via chat. I was telling him about my motivation level and how I feel I should be doing something else with my professional time. He was giving me some solid advice about Rawkstars and ideas about funding. He’s becoming a really good friend and I have trust in him even though we don’t know each other all that well. We planned to spend some time connecting next week before the next visit to the prison, to talk more. I was grateful for his friendship and words of encouragement. Even if I don’t immediately action on them, it was a small reminder of the beauty that human connection can have on us.
12/5/19: Inching ahead on a launch for the new RS website. Met with Sterling yesterday to go over a couple last front end pieces. He’s got to make some form connections to the new CMS we are using and we should be able to launch from there. Hopeful that will give me some focus in the new year and push me to engage a bit harder on making this work. Been in a malaise lately, with physical movement and emotional doldrums. More of a numbness than anything. Just can’t seem to get myself motivated to action on things that I know I’m stagnating on. Still, grateful for small progress on the site and other projects. Not every day/week/season is going to be packed with energy and sunshine and pushing through the darker stretches is definitely an important skill to recognize and develop.
12/4/19: Snow day @ home yesterday. Shoveled early in the morning with Lisa. Grateful that I am still able to perform some physical activity and enjoy it. We never had a snowblower and generally clean up snow together. It’s a small thing but I’ve grown to like it over the years. It gives us something to team up on and it’s always satisfying to come back inside after some vigorous shoveling. The house is warm and inviting and it’s another small thing I am grateful for.
Q wrote his first official song! He’s been working on writing it for weeks. He practiced it so he could sing the whole rhyme in one take. He downloaded Audacity and imported a backing track. It’s really cool! The lyrics are thoughtful and mature, which isn’t surprising. I could tell he was proud of himself and we told him how awesome it was. Super thankful he is embracing projects like that and being creative. He’s capable of so much and seeing him mature and push himself physically and now musically is really awesome. He’s such a great kid.
12/3/19: Snowy day yesterday and I drove Bella home to Worcester. We were supposed to take her back on Sunday night after the gig. Lisa took off after our set but the weather was bad, so they abandoned the idea. It was nice to have the morning with B and to chat during the ride. We got breakfast at Miss Worcester, of course, and I brought her to the dorm after. It was the first time I realized that she is now more comfortable at school than at home. It was great having her at the house, but she gets bored. Without work and a schedule to keep her busy, she isn’t feeling productive. She also has no money so that limits some of her free time. I could tell she was glad to be back at the dorm. She has plenty of friends and patterns established now. Thankful that she has adjusted so well even if it means she is more separated from the house than she used to be.
Gig on Sunday was amazing. Weather kept some people away but we sold 165 tickets and had a nice turnout. The band was awesome and I felt amazing. We had less time than I hoped to soundcheck, so my monitor mix was not great. I had little of myself, but wound up embracing that instead of asking for more during the set. I was able to feel the music more than listening to myself so clearly and I think it made me play better. I was more in the band mode and feeling my playing instead of hearing it. I thought the band sounded amazing, until the last song. We saved Kings & Queens for last. The song prior was Sober, which is in drop D, so I had to tune afterward. I also use my stompbox on that song, so I muted my channel. I was talking to the crowd at the same time and got distracted by too many tasks. We started the song and I was still muted. That lasted through most of the intro until I realized what was up and brought myself back in. Something about that mentally derailed me and I wound up then getting lost in the arrangement. I usually play that song effortlessly during rehearsal, so I was flustered. I eventually found myself and played the rest ok but the damage was done. Grateful for the lessons I’m able to glean from playing live music. I definitely feel better about my skills and will improve going forward.
The gig was a financial success in that I was able to pay everyone a decent sum and still make a small profit for me and Joe. I was also super thankful for the folks who came out despite the weather. We made many new fans at the gig and it was a great opportunity to perform for people that didn’t come out specifically to see us.
11/30/19: Quiet day at home yesterday. I buttoned up nearly everything in advance of the gig tomorrow. Bought some snacks and drinks for catering, prepared envelopes to pay everyone and printed out the guest list. I rehearsed the set a bit to keep limber and shake out some bugs. I read the whole book that my mom had given me the night before. Haven’t done that much reading in a while and it felt good. Book was ok, but an easy read. I think I need to pickup a few more novel type books. I’ve been most reading non-fiction the last bunch of years and I find it hard to read that many pages in a day. Thankful for the mellow day and easy going nature of this holiday weekend. I also got in 100+ pushups yesterday for the first time in a while and feel like my eating has stabilized a bit these last 2 weeks, despite my over-indulgence on Thanksgiving. Maybe I can turn a corner and actually start dropping a few lbs and getting more regular, vigorous exercise in the coming weeks.
11/29/19: Thanksgiving yesterday. Easy to be grateful for all the awesome food. As usual, we spent the afternoon at The Bento’s. Steve, Teresa and Rob and Kelly were also there with the boys. We had fun catching up. Lisa and I brought a bunch of old pics so everyone had some laughs as we looked through those. Mostly quiet and easy going. Of course we headed to my mom’s later in the evening to spend the last couple hours there. Usual crowd and we also brought some pics there, which helped liven up the atmosphere. My mom had bought me a book, The Tattooist of Auschwitz. When we visited Bella’s school a few months back, I saw that book in the library and commented about it. She obviously remembered and picked it up along the way. It was really nice and I started reading it already this morning. Grateful to be thought about like that and for the unfolding story in the book.
Before heading out yesterday I got a run in at the gym with Bella. Nothing incredible, but managed 2+ miles on the treadmill at a fair pace. I haven’t been exercising hardly at all, outside of pushups and occasional yoga. It felt good to move my body and mentally to get over the hump of inactivity. Grateful for the motivation and having Bella push me to get there.
11/27/19: Last jam before the gig last night and it felt and sounded great. All the loose ends have really come together (pun intended 🙂 and everyone seems confident. These guys are such pros it’s been an awesome journey. My goal is to really enjoy myself at the gig, and be present for the music. Most of the gigs I’ve done have been productions that I’m running. This one isn’t entirely hands-off, but the heavy lifting of selling tickets has been on Joe’s side and that takes much of the emotional burden off me. Logistics and details come fairly easy for me, so I’m feeling relaxed and ready to perform. I’m really excited about the filming aspect too and this is why I left Wicked Blue in favor of my own project. I want to be able to do special events and focus more on quality over quantity. This will be a cool project and will fulfill something I’ve been wanting to put together for a while. Thinking I might work with Quincy on some of the editing to make it even more special. Grateful for the opportunity to fulfill myself creatively, with such supportive pros in my corner.
11/26/19: Bella came home last night for the Thanksgiving week. It was nice to have here around and we watched Riverdale, as has become a pattern when she is home. I went out to yoga, which was excellent. I connected with Kelly Pedersen, who attends at the temple sometimes also. She is really nice and I enjoy talking with her. Thankful that I was able to prioritize my health and get myself off the couch for the session.
I also posted publicly on FB about the Guitars Behind Bars program. Got a lot of positive, kind feedback. Must admit it felt good to have the support of so many. I know there are folks who won’t dig what we are doing and have come to be ok with that. I’m grateful to advance the cause of Rawkstars and find our audience, even if it means changing the landscape of who are supporters are. In the long-term, I think it will benefit both sides. I’m super grateful for the partners working on this project with me and for the opportunity to make a small difference for the guys participating.
11/25/19: Had a mellow day at home yesterday. It poured rain. I took Q grocery shopping and I was so glad he came with me, He usually doesn’t like it but it was nice to have him along. Lisa had to work as she does most Sundays, so I spent most of the afternoon alone. I made Sunday gravy, which came out great. It’s probably my best dish as an actual cook. I don’t need a recipe and have made it enough times to have consistent results. Had football on in the background and I did some stretching. Thankful for a nice, simple relaxing day heading into Thanksgiving week.
11/24/19: Went up to visit Bella at school to see her acapella band at an informal show on Friday night. Q stayed home, which given the drive, was probably for the best. Before the show we took B and her roommate Zoemi out for Mexican food. It was really nice to connect and to spend a bit of time with Zoemi. She is going to be leaving Assumption in a few weeks to try out a school in Philly. She didn’t have a great experience with the soccer team or coach and Bella mentioned her being pretty homesick. I’m thankful we got to meet her a bit more than in the past. She seems like a nice girl and Bella really likes her. The show was ok, though it was great to see/hear Bella perform. She was pretty subdued, but sounded amazing as always. Grateful to see my baby girl doing so well at school and keeping some music in her life.
11/22/19: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, yesterday was the first day of filming at the prison. Jonas called me from the road afterward and expressed his excitement at the level of engagement from the guys. So very blessed to have him and his crew working on this project. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it already, but I really feel that component will be instrumental, if we are to move the needle towards more of this kind of programming and funding model. It’s truly an honor to be able to lead this group of folks towards something so rewarding.
11/21/19: Been listening to some great dharma talks recently on my podcast app. Thich Nhat Hanh and Tara Brach are two of my favorites. I feel blessed to have discovered them and having access to their wisdom through my phone is pretty awesome. I am grateful to live in an age where technology allows that kind of connection. I notice a difference in how I feel when I’m spending more time consuming that kind of media.
11/20/19: Band practice continues to be a strong source of fun and gratitude. We are getting close to the gig now and ran through our setlist with a ‘live’ vigor. We spent some time on the bridge section for Never Satisfied, which has given us trouble since day 1. It’s funny, but the real work was taking the time to verbalize how we are each counting that section. Lisa also helped by giving us a visual cue to lock into. I’m super confident we will have a strong gig and extremely fortunate to play with such laid back, talented folks.
I took some of the listening skills I used at the drum circle the day before and really focused on that during practice. It was a cool experience to set that kind of intention ahead of rehearsal and carry it through. Definitely made a difference. Thankful (again) that I had that experience and then was able to put the learning to use immediately.
11/19/19: Attended the first drum circle class at the prison yesterday. Took the day off from work and enjoyed a leisurely morning. Drove to Billerica and met Jonas and Doga. We spent some time catching up with Brendan, who is the person that got our filming project approved. So thankful for his help and for all the work those guys have done to make this a reality.
Once Maureen and Meredith arrived, I was able to address the group in the couch circle, similar to the first visit I had. Many new faces and it was great to connect with them more personally in their own environment. The drum circle was amazingly fun. Maureen and Meredith did a really good job of keeping the energy going, making it interesting and getting everyone to participate. There were only a couple holdouts among a group of about 30. I saw first hand guys smiling, interacting and listening to each other and to the instructors. It was a really positive first class and I was super grateful to have been able to attend. I definitely think it’s something I would like to do again, and possibly invite others to.
I also got my first payment from the prison, which took several weeks to sort out. Grateful to have my bank account replenished a little and to be able to keep things going at least a while longer.
11/16/19: Took Lisa out for some fun last night. We went and saw a cool foreign film called Parasite. It was about two families that intersected in a dark way. We went to the Avon Theater down in Providence, which is a cool old-school, single screen cinema that shows lots of art films. Afterward, we went and got some dinner and drinks at the Greek restaurant on the next block. It was a nice, simple night out together and we had a good time. Grateful to be able to enjoy time together and for low key things like movies and food.
11/14/19: Met last night with Jonas andn the information officer at MHoC about the film project for Rawkstars. It went really well and though we still have one final hurdle to get 100% legal sign off, it was a productive and positive meeting. I’m so very grateful about this project for so many reasons. It’s really ignited my passion for building things and the team continues to be a source of amazing positivity. Today is the first scheduled class and next week we will begin filming, if all goes well. Can’t wait for others to see what is happening and to see how it impacts the inmates and staff. Truly honored to be working with such a great crew and for the trust they have placed in me and Rawkstars to make things better.
11/13/19: HM jam last night. Getting closer to our debut gig and it was a good practice. We worked out an intro for the show using the Game of Thrones music. It’s really cool and I was glad everyone embraced the idea. I really enjoy playing with these guys. Everyone is laid back and trusting of one another. I feel particularly supported since everyone looks to me for direction on things, even though I am by far the least skilled musician in the group. Super thankful to have this outlet and to be playing music and connecting personally with a great group of guys.
Q had a meeting after school for the new winter track season. I’m super happy he is joining again. I also drove home 3 of his friends from the team. I really like meeting the other kids and am thankful to have time in my day to be able to participate in his life as much as I do. When I complain about being bored or unfulfilled by my job at Hasbro, this is one area I can point to with gratitude.
11/12/19: Missed a lot of updates over the weekend. Lisa’s bday was on Friday. I took her out to The East End for some tequila and then walked to Persimmon for dinner. Fabulous meal and we had a good time connecting and eating/drinking. She embraces the birthday’s and is one of the few people I know who aren’t lamenting getting older. Grateful to have a wife who is so grounded and well adjusted to life. Also for our ability to afford and be in proximity to such amazing food. Not everyone lives someplace or has the means to take advantage of that whenever the whim strikes. It’s not lost on me.
Lisa’s band played on Saturday and were awesome, as usual. Saw lots of cool people and though I wasn’t feeling super social at the outset, had a good time. Grateful for music and for the fact that so many of my friends and wife are quite excellent at it.
Visited Bella, as kind of a surprise on Sunday. We drove to Assumption and took her to breakfast. She seems like she is doing well and in a bit better of a mindset than the last couple times we talked. She said she was buckling down more with studies and its nice to hear that she is focused on what she is there for. Thankful she is still close by and that we can drive up and see her almost anytime.
Yesterday was in the 60’s, unseasonably warm for mid-November. Took the opportunity to get out and clean up the yard a bit. I also verbalized my intention to Lisa that I was gonna start moving more and consuming less. Sounds fluffy but I’m hopeful that something out saying it out loud and committing to it will push me to take more action. I’ve truly struggled the last several weeks and my weight has ballooned back over 250 for the first time in nearly 2 years. I’m confident I can get back to where I feel better but it’s been harder than expected to make that so. I took a yoga class last night at the temple for the first time in at least a year. It felt great and was a small reminder that I can still take care of myself and that my body will respond if only I ask it to.
11/7/19: Purchased and handed over the recording equipment to John Baptista for the Guitars Behind Bars program. Only item left to purchase is the computer. It’s been a long process and expensive for Rawkstars. Hopeful the execution will be what we all hope and the impact on the inmates and staff will prove valuable. I really am grateful to have been able to see, put together and pull off this project. I’ve longed to work on something creative and impactful for a while and this has been fulfilling.
Quincy started feeling better last night also. He’s bee really sick and it’s awful seeing your kids feel like that. I tried to make him comfortable and feel special with plenty of attention since he’s fallen ill. Truly thankful for his improvement and our whole family being relatively healthy all these years.
11/6/19: Went to Frank Murphy’s wake last night. Rode in with Chuck since we were both solo. It was nice to connect with him outside of band practice. When I got to his house, Anthony asked me to come in and showed me a video he put together of an original song. It was really good and he is such a talented kid. He told me his experience doing the Kiss video years ago with Rawkstars taught him a lot and he used that learning to make his own. So grateful to have impacted such a cool kid.
At the wake I ran into a ton of old friends. Was really happy to run into with Greg, Munro, Mike Long, Darren, Ralph, Falzone and a few others. I feel lucky to have such a shared history with so many. I’m not really close with most of those guys and probably never was, but it doesn’t really matter. We have grown up together, even at arms length and I enjoy reconnecting with many of them.
Frank’s passing also reminds me of my own mortality and I am grateful to be alive. Every day.
11/5/19: Quincy has been sick. I took him to the doctor yesterday and got him some meds. After we got home, I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie. He did so I put on American History X. I had been listening to a podcast with Ed Norton and it reminded me of that film. I kinda though Q would like it and he did. He usually thinks my picks are boring so it was nice to get a thumbs up. I had fun actually spending time with him, albeit at the doctor’s office and then on the couch. I am grateful for our time together and for the fact that he still likes spending days with me.
11/4/19: Busy weekend. Friday night we took the kids to see Logic down at Mohegan Sun. We picked up Bella at school and drove down together. Lisa and I waited in line with them and we had some laughs, then split once the doors opened. We grabbed dinner, walked around a bit and then settled in at the bar waiting for the show to let out. It was fun to have Bella along and of course the kids were excited. Lisa and I enjoyed the downtime and it felt kinda nice to get a little buzzed. A guy at the bar next to us dropped a hundred dollar bill on the floor. Lisa pointed it out to him so he proceeded to buy us a round.
The next morning Q had his last cross country meet of the season. I got up at 7, after going to bed at 1 to take him to the bus. Kid was up on his own and groggy, but awake. He performed pretty well at the meet and it’s been such a great couple months watching him improve.
Later that afternoon was the annual Apple Pie Bake-Off, over at Sue and Doug’s place. We had a good time and although Lisa’s pie didn’t win, we had plenty of laughs and overate with friends. It’s a cool tradition and always a good time. Bella hung with us most of the day, while Quincy decided to stay home. I couldn’t blame him really. He would have been bored and had a super busy evening/morning just before.
Sunday, I took care of the grocery shopping and made a pot of spaghetti sauce. Always one of my favorite things to cook and I had it on the stove most of the day. Bella needed to return to school, so I had to drive her in the middle of the day. Again, lots of time in the car, but it was nice to have her company, even during a quiet ride.
Grateful for the family time over the weekend and for the hang with old friends.
10/31/19: Been battling a cold all week. I began to feel better and less congested on Monday, but then feel like I backslid. Yesterday I was super congested and went home from work because I was blowing my nose constantly. I’m grateful for my relative good health. I haven’t gotten sick in a while and even thought I’m struggling with my weight and managing stress lately, I know that I am better off than many. I am still able to enjoy life and even push myself physically when I try. It seems small but I know it to be huge.
10/30/19: Yesterday, during band practice, I got word that Franky Murphy had passed away. Chuck had gotten a text from his wife with the news and told me as we were packing up. I wouldn’t say I was close with Frank and in actuality, hadn’t really connected with him much in the last several years. That said, we had a ton of shared musical experiences along the way and it was a sad thing to hear. Frank was always a ‘troubled’ dude. When we were kids he had lots of health issues and never was able to get himself healthy physically or mentally. He battled drugs and alcohol through his life. He was an amazing guitar player and I can remember vividly how good he was as a teenager, even amongst a strong local scene of excellent guitarists. He oozed music and was a very ‘natural’ and fluid player. His main band, Triphammer, is one that I have a long history with. I took them in the studio for their first demo and we did a ton of great local gigs together. I had them perform at several of my events over the years including the Wargasm reunion show and the Deringer’s 10th Anniversary gig. About 6 years ago, after that Deringer’s gig, I talked with Frank. He told me how much that opportunity meant to him and I could feel the genuine nature of how being able to perform for his friends made him feel, given the trajectory of his life. Shortly after, I put together a cool recording project to pay tribute to Gary Moore, and asked Frank to play on it. Honestly, very few players I know could have done justice to that song and it’s one of the recording sessions I’m most proud of. I had to pick Frank up at his house, since he never drove. I bought him a tuner and even lunch one day, since he also never had money. We only rehearsed once and then spent a long day in the studio cutting the tracks. I remember Frank wanting to lay down lead after lead all day long, and he was frustrated by not being able to get it the way he wanted it to feel. His inexperience in the studio showed in that session, but so did his passion, attention to detail and skill. After a few hours and dozens of takes I had to call it because we weren’t making improvements and I thought he had laid down tracks that were strong enough for what our production was intended to be. The project was really just for fun after all. I think part of Frank just wanted to stay in the studio, playing his guitar and trying to show us what he was capable of. That I made the right choice asking him to play on the track. He did and I was extremely thankful to have had him as part of those sessions. I wish I had reached out to him to show him how many people that song touched. I literally get notes multiple times per week from people all over the globe who have favorited that song and it’s gotten upwards of 32k plays. Kids in Saudi Arabia, Indonesia and dozens of other countries were moved by Frank’s playing. I think it would have made him smile to know that his guitar playing touched all those people. Frank lived for music and I’m glad we had the chance to make some together.
10/29/19: Visited the prison yesterday to deliver the instruments for the music program, slated to start on 11/14. Was the first time the whole team was together. Meredith and Maureen came and I brought John. I also had Jonas and Doga come for the first time to meet everyone and begin the process for getting clearance to make a short film about the project. Very psyched about everything and the momentum is there. Super grateful to have gotten the project to this point from where it started 5 months ago. Also grateful to have the resources to have put together such a powerful project team. It promises to be one of the best group of folks I’ve had the chance to work with. Having them show confidence in me by participating feels nice and I’m appreciative of their support and contributions to the work.
On the drive home, John and I had a great conversation. Talked about music, teaching and other subjects including gratitude. We are like minded in some ways and it felt good to converse with someone who I can tell lives with that attitude, without having to manufacture it. It was really nice to connect with him on a personal level and I enjoy his company greatly. Thankful to have him involved with this work and for the connection we’ve made over the years.
10/28/19: Saturday we attended Sue Kast’s 50th birthday party. It was at Dave and Liza’s house, and as always, they were great hosts. Plenty of food and drink and friendly people. It was nice to celebrate Sue. She deserves some attention as she is a super sweet, kind person. I got her a box set of Thich Nhat Hanh’s ‘how to live’ series. I hope she will enjoy it and take something away from his writing. She and Doug are great people, raised an awesome family and we enjoy their company greatly. Thankful to have such great friends in our lives.
Yesterday, Quincy and I were scheduled to attend the Patriots game. I wanted to take him to see Tom Brady at least once, even though he doesn’t care about football. Unfortunately, both of us have been sick and the weather was horrible. It was a total downpour for most of the day, so we decided to punt on the game. Instead we hung out and stayed home. We played cards and talked and I made some homemade vegetable soup. We watched the game at home and we were both fine with the decision. Grateful to be prosperous enough to take my son to see the game and blessed enough to bow out, when circumstances require. He appreciated both decisions and so did I.
10/26/19: Followed up my mental/physical health day yesterday by doing some of the same. Worked in the morning from home, then spent some time cleaning up the back yard. Getting things put away for winter and burned a bunch of scrap wood that had been piling up against the house. I did the Sam Harris meditation again, while I burned the wood. It was kinda cool but also a bit distracting since I couldn’t forget about the fire while I had my eyes closed. I also brought 2 large coolers back to Mike Mooney, that I had borrowed months ago for Bella’s 18th party. Dave Purdy gave me a ride with his truck and we got a chance to catch up. Grateful for his help and for spending time making my house nicer.
I made a pot roast in the fast cooker, which I haven’t used in months. Came out pretty decent and thankful as always for home cooked food.
Lisa got a call from one of Q’s teachers explaining that his behavior hasn’t been too great in her class. She played the message for me and Quincy and it was detailed. He didn’t deny some of the comments but also didn’t fully accept them. He had some similar instances back in middle school but it’s been a while since we had to talk with him about school behavior. I know he took it pretty hard as he doesn’t like to be called out and doesn’t want to disappoint us. I’m extremely proud of him and he is an awesome kid. It’s just another step in his maturity to see him take it so personally. I feel confident that he will rectify the situation on his own as he has shown a willingness to take responsibility when called out in the past. Thankful beyond words to have such a great son and to be his dad.
10/25/19: Yesterday I took a mental/physical health day from work. As it turned out, I got sick overnight. I enjoyed a quiet morning and slept in, after getting up and helping Q get off to school by making his lunch. I went back to bed, which I never do, and stayed asleep until 9:30, also unusual. When I got up the house was empty. I had some coffee and made breakfast, after getting myself cleaned up. I had a call scheduled with Jonas about the prison film project for 11:30. I wanted to head out to enjoy the great fall weather and started driving to New Bedford, to visit Fort Tabor park. I pulled over by the water and took the call with Jonas remotely. It was awesome to catch up with him and I am so grateful he is on board with this project. It’s going to make a humungous difference in our fundraising and ability to tell the story of the program once completed. He’s also just a cool guy, creative and smart. After the call I got down to the park, left my car and stretched a bit. I haven’t run in about 3 weeks, so it was a bit rough. I was also winded due to being sick and with such poor eating habits this week. I did probably only about 1.25 miles but it felt good. I walked back and took a few pics along the way. I stopped at a bench right in front of the ocean where the sun was strong and warm. I sat down, put on headphones and listened to a 30 minute guided meditation by Sam Harris. I’ve gotten away from using the guided stuff in the last year or so, but it was fantastic. He is a great explainer and I find his voice soothing. His explanation was really on point and the meditation really felt great. Super thankful for the downtime and for stumbling across this specific video. Took my time wrapping up and got home in plenty of time to get Quincy from track practice. Awesome day and thankful to be alive.
Last night I got a Fender stompbox pedal that I ordered a week or so prior. I plugged it in and it was so much fun to play with. It ‘electrified’ my playing and allowed me to dig in slightly less but still get enough energy from the strings. I jammed through our set and it felt and sounded great. Grateful to have the resources to buy mostly whatever I want and to be able to enjoy music and feel slightly better as a player.
10/23/19: Big struggles with my eating lately. Really been experiencing it since about mid-June, when I was feeling slim, strong and digging the way my clothes fit. For the last 4+ months it’s been fits and starts of poor choices and old behaviors. I’ve been closet eating, looking for excuses to get away from the house and eat empty calories. I’m feeling terrible about myself for ‘giving in’ to these impulses instead of being able to use my improved ability to not habitually react. I don’t like the way I look or how my clothes fit. All that said, I am grateful. Grateful for the fact that somewhere inside I know I can get back to where I was in June. It will surely take effort but I am confident it will happen, when it needs to. I’m also grateful to be a different person then when that behavior was the norm for me and for the ability to recognize and take action.
10/21/19: Did some hiking and took some pics with Q yesterday afternoon. Lisa was at work, so I did the grocery shopping. Afterward, I wanted to get out of the house and enjoy some fresh air, so I asked him to take a little hike. We went to the local bird sanctuary, which is close by and easy. Nothing too fancy but I grabbed a couple shots with the camera and as usual, we talked while we hiked. I’m super grateful to enjoy time with my son in nature. I’m also grateful he comes along with me, sometimes less willingly than others, but still 😉
10/19/19: Q had a twilight meet last night down in Falmouth. Lisa left work early and the two of us drove down to watch. Quincy was really excited and it’s been such an amazing change to see happening in him. The night before he texted us while we were out and reminded us to pickup Gatorade for his team. The fact that he has all this in his mind and is being proactive about the schedule, getting himself ready and participating so actively is just awesome. He looked good during the run and he saw us when he came around the track. I could tell he was happy we were there and his running looked strong. Cam also went down there to visit and see the team members. I know Q was psyched to see him also and it’s really sweet to watch. Super grateful for Quincy’s progression and to be able to see him grow right before our eyes.
10/17/19: Went out for drinks last night with CXO Jamie. It was really fun and we had a very productive, open conversation. I had my official ‘interviews’ yesterday, which were basically casual conversations about the state of the teams. Everyone has been really supportive and open during the process. I had an open conversation with Jamie about the salary and job level I am asking for. My hope is that she can make that happen and I will get an offer commensurate with what I asked for. If so, I’ll be thrilled to jump into the new role. If not, I’ll have to make a choice. Either way, grateful for the support and confidence coming my way from so many people and thankful to have a good job and a possible choice for another good job.
After I left the bar, I was walking back to my car and passed this woman coming out of the art supply store with her arms full of canvases. She was struggling to carry them and get her keys out to open her car door. I stopped and asked if she needed help. I held the canvases for her while she opened the trunk. Then I placed all the stuff in for her and wished her a good night. I am so grateful when I get to connect with someone like that. Two people who didn’t know each other and the simple act of kindness that can change both of us for the better. It also made me thankful to spend time in a cool neighborhood like the East Side, where interactions like that are possible.
10/15/19: Took the kids to the mall yesterday. B came with us and we were stumped for something everyone wanted to do together, so we drove to Braintree. I’m not a shopper. In fact, I do it rarely. I usually talk myself out of buying much more than an occasional pair of shoes or a few new work shirts a couple times a year. We quickly split up, as the girls ducked into the first shoe store we passed. Me and Q walked a bit and hunted for a new sweatshirt for him. He’s also not a shopper and really hasn’t been interested in clothes or style to this point in his life. We found some plain sweatshirts and I bought him two. It was my turn to duck into a shoe store and I found a nice pair that I took. While he waited, he was checking out some gold chains, that made him look more ‘rap’ oriented. I encouraged him to buy them as I could tell he kinda dug them. He was psyched and wore them immediately after we left the store. We then found some t-shirts that suited his personality, like ‘Los Pollos Hermanos’ and ‘That’s What She Said’. It was kinda nice seeing him happy about adding to his own style a bit. I’m grateful that he’s not an overconsumer, slavishly spending money on fashion. I’m also thankful that he is developing a bit of care about his appearance and presenting himself in a way that contains some self-expression. Lastly, grateful that I am able to purchase reasonable things with my son and bring some small joy to his day.
10/13/19. Bella has been home for the Columbus weekend. It’s been nice having her around and interacting in person. Yesterday we went to breakfast in advance of seeing Q run with his team for a meet. We had a nice conversation while we ate and then watched Q and his team compete at a large event in Wrentham. It was awesome seeing him run, though he was again dissatisfied with his time and pace. Grateful that we’ve got the family together for a few days and grateful that Q is being a bit tough on himself without getting too down.
Yesterday afternoon, Lisa and I attended a baby shower for Chuck Fitzgerald and his wife, Bo. Chuck is such an awesome guy. We met in the late 80s through the music scene. He played drums for Triphammer and lots of other bands I connected with and mixed over the years. Always a super humble, grounded, down to Earth type and I admired his quiet demeanor over the years. He and Bo found each other late in life and it’s really awesome to see him so happy after many years of being alone. He’s going to make an awesome dad for sure and I feel grateful to have crossed paths in life with Chuck.
10/11/19: Had Chinese food for dinner with Lisa and Q last night. The food was ok, nothing special, but the circumstance felt kinda good. Lisa wasn’t feeling well, so she didn’t want to go out and it got too late for us to deal with cooking. She mentioned wanting Chinese, which is something we rarely eat. I took Q and drove to the take-out spot. I ordered a vegetarian dish of simple veggies, a spicy chicken and peanuts blend and a small order of rice. I steered clear of the fried, ultra processed choices and ate pretty healthfully. I like to use chopsticks as it naturally slows me down a bit and helps keep me mindful. I’m grateful for making solid choice even when presented with the totally regular occurrence of a dinner out of the house. Baby steps.
10/10/19: Got an interview schedule officially slotted for the new position at Hasbro. I’ll be meeting with a few members of the team who I know very well. I’m excited to get movement on the process, even though it’s been slow. Grateful for the opportunity to elevate to this new role and the confidence folks are showing in me by even asking.
10/9/19: Got some time yesterday to work on the RS website project. It’s been ‘underway’ for months, though stalled for the last couple. Mostly, it’s not been urgent, but as work ramps up from OMG on our back-end project, it’s more important to get it rolling now. Also, we have the final versions of the video and photo assets. In any case, I took about 2 hours to revamp the wireframe, which is a hand drawn sketch 😉 . I also did a bit of content creation and writing for the copy areas that needed work. I am meeting with my developer, Sterling, tomorrow to run through the changes I outlined. Hopeful to have it locked down for next week, so that I can hand it over to OMG/Jesse to get all the database/wordpress/ontraport pieces connected. Grateful for a couple hours of focus and pushing myself to get those things done. Finally.
10/8/19: Yesterday, Lisa and I met in the afternoon to watch Quincy’s cross country meet. It was the first time we went to another location, besides THS. The meet was at a park that was really hilly. The course was also much longer than what he’s used to and it was a windy day. He had been getting himself a bit worked up the day or two before, once he heard it was a full 5k run, which is longer than he’s ever tried. He struggled from the outset and by the mid-point, we visibly saw him holding his stomach and laboring. We yelled our support for him as he trudged by and I could tell he was wanting to throw in the towel. He disappeared from view after a minute or two and we waited near the finish as we saw all the other kids cross the line. Eventually, Q came up around the bend and he looked much stronger. He was running smooth and no more stomach holding. He was in last place but I couldn’t have been prouder of him at that moment. He pushed himself through the resistance and physical discomfort and embarrassment of being last and finished strong. It was awesome and I told him I was more proud of him then than the week before when he finished in the top half. I’m so grateful he has made the leap to the team, that he is trying hard and that he is growing so much as a person. I’m also grateful to have a job that allows me the freedom to be present at events like this.
10/7/19: We visited Bella at Assumption on Saturday and spent the afternoon. It was so great to see her in person and feel her presence again. She is doing well and looked healthy. We missed Zoemi, her roommate, as she was preparing for a soccer game that day. It was really nice out so we spent a while walking the campus. She gave nana a tour of all the spaces and class buildings she frequents. We met a few of her friends along the way and just like in High School, she seems to already be popular and know many people. After a while we took a drive to a Greek restaurant downtown. She picked it because she thought I would like it, which was super sweet. We connected, talked and basically just caught up as a group. My mom was of course thrilled to come along and we even had some nice conversations in the car on the drive up. Super grateful that Bella is doing so well and thriving in the college transition. She will be coming back home this weekend for Columbus Day, so we’ll get to spend more time with her and have her at the house, which will be awesome.
10/5/19: Q had another XX track meet the other night and kicked ass! I wasn’t able to get there in time to see him run, but he clocked in at 12:35, which beat his PR by a bunch. More importantly, he was super proud of himself. He came home talking about the run with excitement and passion. I could tell how much confidence it gave him and he finished ahead of lots of his teammates. It was so awesome to see his eyes lit up with positivity about his run and what he is capable of. I know he is only going to get better at running and I am super thankful that he was able to overcome his initial resistance and push beyond what he was comfortable with. I really think it is a transformative time for him and so very grateful to be his dad.
I used Q’s example to push beyond my own inertia and officially applied for a new position at Hasbro yesterday. I’ve been waffling all week since it posted and talked to lots of folks about my feelings. After more than enough consideration I decided to go for it. I’ve been stale in my work life for several years mostly and this will push me to new areas of the company and potentially in my business career. Most of my anxiety around it has been due to the potential loss of simplicity that I’ve gotten used to, but I know that isn’t good for me long-term and hasn’t served me to become a better version of myself and to learn about what I am capable of. Grateful for the opportunity before me and for learning from my son’s example.
10/4/19: Signed up and took a cycling class yesterday. I had been driving past this new studio on my ride home for the last several months. Thought about it a ton and never had the guts to go in. Since we returned from Savannah, I’ve been feeling good, eating well and taking better care of myself. I told Lisa about the studio a few days ago and finally dialed it up. Class was good and I had no trouble at all keeping up. Was a good reminder about my ability to participate, and improve my fitness. Grateful for the ability to push passed the resistance and jump in.
Had some good conversations at the office about the new position I’ve been struggling with. I’m going to throw my hat in the ring officially and am feeling like it is the right move for me at this point in my life/career. The team has a lot of confidence in my ability and I think they will follow suit with support and resources to make the necessary changes to implement great process. Grateful to have folks around here I trust for guidance, including Jim Peluso, Ginny McCormick and Jen Preston.
10/3/19: Spent some time texting with Bella last night. Lisa was at band practice and Q was playing Fortnite with Wyatt. I was in the living room, nursing a sore wrist from the week of pushups. I had a weird day at the office, with some meetings back to back. First was a pow-wow with my bosses about the proposition of the new role being offered to me. I was open about my feelings and situation and it felt good to get it into the open. Not sure how it came across but I was authentic, for better or worse. I expressed some of my frustration with not making much progress on building out the team or advancing over 5 years. I am thankful to work someplace where I can speak openly and have the general support of my supervisors and peers.
In any case, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and confused by what I want to do. I reached out to B and we chatted for a while, which made me feel better. She gave me some confidence and I was grateful to have the connection with her, even from a distance.
10/2/19: Band practice last night. We went through 2 new songs, Kings & Queens and Never Satisfied. I was pretty surprised and happy with how awesome we played the Aerosmith song. It’s pretty different and we really played it well right off the bat. The Judas Priest song is fairly simple, though it has this proggy change in the bridge which we couldn’t quite get. Verses were great and I think it will wind up being a solid tune for us after another week of everyone learning this at home. Super grateful for the new band and how well everyone gets along, even beyond their awesome playing. I noticed last night how much smiling goes on at rehearsal and I was grateful for that.
10/1/19: Back to Hasbro yesterday for vacation re-entry day. Pretty calm all around. Got my 100 pushups in, which I was truly grateful for. Feeling better this week and thinking about trying a cycling class at a new place that I drive by on my way home each night. Had a nice lunch with an old work friend Nirav, who gave me some good perspective on stuff at the office. Finished watching Mindhunter season 2 with Lisa last night. Such an amazingly well done production. Grateful to live in the golden age of TV, where entertainment can be so powerful, and artistic.
9/30/19: Another lazy day of self-care as vacation wound down. Fruit/yogurt/nuts for breakfast and I made a pot of homemade gravy that I let simmer for hours. It came out most excellent, one of the best batches I’ve ever made. I had the Pats game on tv and brought my yoga mat up for some stretching and light poses. Completed my 100 pushups also. Took a family walk after the game with Lisa and Q. We did a lap around the neighborhood just to get out and breathe some fresh air together. Thankful I’ve been able to string together a few good days and start to feel a bit better about myself physically. Also thankful my body is responsive when I give it the attention it deserves.
9/29/19: Grateful for a second day of healthy eating and exercise. Got in a nice 3.5 mile run around Field’s Park with Lisa. Prepped a nice breakfast afterward and made tuna steaks with corn salsa for dinner. Completed my 100 pushups and went to bed without overeating again.
Q had his friend Alannah come over. They’ve been hanging around the last couple weeks and he referred to her as his girlfriend 😉 . She seemed cute and friendly and I’m glad he’s doing so well at making better relationships, both with boys and girls.
9/28/19: First night back home after vacation. Thankful for home cooked food! Thankful for my own bed, shower and house. Thankful to spend the day with Q. Lisa and I went grocery shopping, which I enjoy. We bought a ton of fresh, healthy food for the week and I spent some time preparing meats and salad yesterday. The little things really do mean the most.
I had a good day of eating and my mindset was strongly focused on health. I didn’t overeat and kept my attention on how I felt, instead of giving into automatic feelings of wanting to eat. I got back on the pushup challenge and got through 100 by the end of the night.
Caught up on some Rawkstars business. Managed to finally get the team training arranged for the Billerica HoC program. I also contacted the account folks there and began putting together the invoice to send them a bill for the pilot. I connected with Jesse and Chloe over at OMG about the social media logins and some other loose ends they need to get started this week. Lastly, I re-watched the RS video drafts and started to put together some thoughts about feedback for Jonas and team to apply to round #2.
Grateful for all the projects I have going on and that I am able to keep them all afloat, even if it’s slower than I would like.
9/27/19: Vacation in Savannah this past week. I forgot my computer charger so I was not able to properly write. Had a good time, though I didn’t take great care of myself. We did a lot of eating/drinking and exploring the city on foot. We did get outside the city one afternoon and spent 1/2 a day at the beach. Grateful that I am able to afford to travel and take Lisa along. Quincy stayed home alone for a few days, though we did have Nana and Vavo both check on him. He did great as expected and it’s nice to see him continue to develop as a maturing teen. Going away always makes you thankful to come home and this was no different. Grateful for my amazing bed, for home cooked food and even for having a ‘regular’ schedule. All those things help keep me healthy and grounded.
Another offshoot of vacation sometimes is overdoing it. Did that in spades, on the heels of a whole summer of doing the same at home. I’m committing as of today to getting back to some feeling of health. I want to drop 30lbs before I turn 50 and am thankful my body (and mind) have the strength to accomplish that goal. I’m planning to get back to the pushup routine (100 per day) and start watching my food intake, particularly the sugar. I think I should get on the Whole30 bandwagon, or at least eliminate added sugars, dairy and alcohol. I’m going to start some kind of tracker, either offline or online to chart my progress through the year. Grateful for continuing to try.
9/20/19: PM team gave me a surprise birthday card and some breakfast fruit yesterday. It was very sweet and unexpected. Another example of how little effort it takes to make a big impact on others. Thankful to have such a thoughtful group of folks at my office.
I received a nomination for the Hasbro Hero award yesterday. I think I’ve been nominated like 4 times. It’s recognition they give to an employee who does a lot of volunteer work. I’ve never won the award, which is ok. Not sure who nominated me, or if it’s the same person year over year. Regardless, at least one person around here sees me in this light and it’s super humbling. I’m grateful to have impacted enough folks to warrant that viewpoint from at least one of my peers.
9/19/19: Had lunch with an old friend, Dave Adams, yesterday. We met at Hasbro and he got laid off last year. Enjoyed a great meal at Garden Grille and caught up. We talked of course about work and it was helpful for me. I feel like I gained some perspective in light of all the recent activity for me here at the office. Still not sure how all that will unfold, but I’m grateful to be in a position to have choices, all of which are positive.
9/18/19: Yesterday was Q’s first track meet. I had a hectic day at work, but managed to sneak out early enough to catch it a bit after it started. Having never attended one, I was ambling around the field looking for Lisa and trying to sort out what was happening. I saw a group of parents off to the side by this little hill that lead over to the track. Q had described to me before that they ran through this path around the complex, through woods, etc. and so I assumed this was the exit point. I waited a few minutes and saw a couple runners emerge and charge up the hill before completing 3/4 of a lap on the track to finish the race. I wasn’t even sure Q would be running, since he has only practiced a few times and I have no context of how the runners are designated. In any case, I was just watching the kids come by while the parents cheered them on. After a bit, Q came rounding the corner and I was so damn excited. He was pushing himself and looking good, in a pack with a bunch of others. I saw him and a girl elbowing for position as they hit the track and I could tell he didn’t want to get passed by her. He made his way around the track and I headed over to the finish line, where I saw him cross. I was screaming for him and couldn’t have been more proud and excited for him. It was a truly awesome experience and I felt so thankful and proud to be his dad.
At the office, my friend Ashley has been planning her wedding for about a year. She’s super nice and it’s cute to watch someone so young be exuberant about that event. In any case, I organized a little celebration for her in conjunction with the team. We collected donations and I bought her some wedding type gifts off Amazon and brought in a card for everyone to sign. She was visibly emotional and it was sweet to see someone moved by our tiny act. Grateful to have the chance to make someone feel special and for the support of the group in going along with my plan.
9/17/19: Q attended a pasta dinner last night as part of the cross country team. I guess this is something they do prior to team meets. So damn proud of him. Lisa picked him up from practice and said he was in a good mood. He told her about the party, which was at the house of the one of the runners. I took him there at 5:30 and there was a bunch of kids playing volleyball. Extremely thankful that he is turning around his attitude about being on the team and embracing the social aspects also. We saw how much this helped Bella when she was in the Drama Club. She developed so many friendships and bonds with kids of all grades in her school. It’s just awesome seeing Quincy get on that path and taking a positive mental approach. He rawks!
9/16/19: Met the family for brunch yesterday to celebrate Nana’s 98th bday. Most definitely thankful that she is still with us and for the fact that she has seen the kids grow up a decent amount. She’s such an awesome lady, it made it worth the discomfort and bad food 😉 . I also saw my brother, which is not common these days. We have always had an awkward relationship, as is the case with everyone in my family. That said, I love him very much and think back to the times when I was little and he treated me really well as a younger brother. Grateful I have those memories.
Grateful for the simple act of grocery shopping. Lisa and I did that in the afternoon and it’s something I’ve come to enjoy. I like selecting healthy, fresh food and am thankful that I can afford basically whatever I want. The weather was also spectacular all weekend, one of those late summer days when it’s warm and sunny but you can still feel a crispness in the air as fall approaches.
9/15/19: Ran a solid 3.6 miles yesterday morning with Lisa. Q has been running with the cross country team this past week. He’s been struggling a bit, mostly mentally, with wanting to quit after only a couple days. I knew it would be a hard hump for him to get over, but he is trying. We decided to show solidarity and run after dropping him off at practice. One of the seniors on the team ran with him and helped make him feel better I think. Lisa and I had a good run and the pace was pretty strong for me, 11:20 per mile. I felt great about being able to complete the run strong. Truly grateful that my beat up, aging body can still churn through a decent run.
We did some shopping in the afternoon. Not my favorite activity but I wanted to get a few new shirts for work. Been feeling like I should present myself a bit more polished with the new folks at the office and see what changes. In line for a promotion and hoping to hear about it this week. Thankful for the opportunity and for my job overall. Even though it’s not super fulfilling, it provides a ton for my family and doesn’t take much out of my tank, so to speak. I know I’m fortunate to have such a solid workplace and be so well compensated for my time, even if it isn’t my ideal situation.
9/13/19: Continued movement on the potential job front yesterday. I’ve had some anxiety about it all and found my mind ruminating, as can happen. I also caught myself doing this and even connected the dots a bit to the time of year, when I seem to be susceptible to this kind of activity. I’m super grateful to have learned how to tune into my body more over these last few years. I’m also grateful for the opportunity (potentially) at the office and want to embrace it for many reasons.
Lisa continues to be a source of strength and positivity for me. She sent me a nice text at work, as I was supposed to meet with folks about the job. It was delayed by a day but the message was well received. I am thankful to have such a loving and supportive partner.
9/12/19: Quincy joined the XX track team! After much talking and indecision, he called me in the afternoon and asked if I could pick him up from practice. Apparently he had decided during the day to connect with the coach and jump in. I picked him up on my way home from work and it was so nice to see him all sweaty and tired 😉 . Sounds like he did really well at the practice and felt ok. I’m so damn proud of Q and really look forward to how this continues to change and mature him. He’s amazingly capable and I can’t wait to see how this fuels his ability to push himself and grow. So thankful for an amazing son who is not only smart and funny, but also developing instincts about himself and willing to explore new territory. His improved physical health will only continue to feed all those efforts and I couldn’t be more proud.
9/11/19: Had an on-boarding call yesterday for the social media / consulting engagement I started with OMG on behalf of Rawkstars. It was fun and kinda exciting and I’m flush with gratitude about being able to even do something like that.
I’ve been in a bit of a whirlwind mental state lately with a lot of high impact / high touch things going on in my life. This ‘spend’ coupled with all the RS activity being one such thing. Bella/Quincy and their respective school changes with all the associated life changes for the family being another. Trying to get Heavy Mellow off the ground and now having the 12/1 gig at The Spire coming closer is another. Bob Bell and the pending sale of our Pilgrim Village property is another. The prison program I got approved and now need to execute looms large. Stuff at Hasbro also really ramping up and potentially being on the verge of stepping up my work level and stress is the last.
Just typing these things is exhausting and I’m hopeful to learn a lesson in terms of simplifying. I’ve done slightly better on that the last few years but still it’s cyclical, like everything, and the last few months are feeling overwhelming even as I am in the midst of all those things.
I am grateful for all these opportunities and even for the fact that I realize how thin I’ve spread myself. I want to enjoy all of them individually and be able to execute at a high level across the board.
9/9/19: Yesterday was Nana’s 98th birthday! Lisa, Q and I took a hike up Blue Hills. We got a tiny bit off track on the way down, but it was a fun experience. We’ve done it a few times in the past, but the weather was perfect and it was a great chance to be outside and moving together. On the way back, we stopped into see Nana at her apartment. She was of course thrilled to see us and we stayed and talked for a little bit. She is an amazing lady and probably the best personal example I ever had in my family to emulate. She’s lived the most simple life imaginable. Never complaining, patience for days and a quiet approach to show others a simple way to be without being preachy. She loves food and as a kid I can remember fondly many memories of afternoon lunches and Sunday dinners at their apartment in Georgetowne. I am thankful to have grown up around her and my Papa, and they always did a lot for me and everyone in the family. I’m grateful that my own kids got to know her for so long even though neither of them got to meet Papa.
Watched the men’s final at the US Open on tv, after being there the day before. The match was one of the most epic I have ever seen, with Nadal outlasting Medvedev in 5 sets, all of which were long and competitive. Grateful to see such awesome athleticism and live in a time when I can watch that in the comfort of my own home.
9/8/19: Whirlwind day yesterday visiting NYC. As mentioned, I took Lisa to the US Open Women’s Final. Serena lost :/ . That said, we had an awesome time and I was super grateful. I appreciate being in a position to afford things that others cannot and having the support of a wife who encourages me to enjoy life. We drove down at 6:30am, stopped for breakfast and got to Arthur Ashe at 11am. We saw the mixed doubles final and were allowed to sit anywhere. It was cool to see the action from right up front in such a cool venue. We did a ton of walking, people watching and talking. After the match we headed back and stopped in New Haven to get pizza. Quincy asked us to bring him one since he loves NY style pies. I texted Bonesy to see if we could meet up with him on the drive back. Unfortunately, he had a gig and we weren’t able to see him but he gave us a reco for ‘Modern A Pizza” which turned out to be absolutely amazing. It was cool to even connect with him via email and another thing I am grateful for. During the day, Lisa reminded me how lucky I was to be able to pee standing up. Apparently the women’s room in the park was pretty rough and so I now have an appreciation for something I never really considered 😉
9/6/19: Serena Williams won the semi-finals last night, meaning she will be playing in the Final’s tomorrow! Lisa and I are traveling to NYC in the morning to see the match and I’m super excited. Again, thankful that I have the financial freedom to cover experiences like this and to be able to do so with my best friend who also happens to be my wife.
Tried a new restaurant/brewery in Taunton last night with Q and Lisa. It was actually pretty good, which for Taunton is saying something. Our town is a dearth of quality eating and while this place is no 5-star spot, it’s attractive, new, has good beer and makes a solid pizza. Sounds small but I’m grateful to have a spot to consider that is local and kid friendly, since Q likes pizza. It was also nice simply connecting together over food.
9/5/19: Took a run with Q after work yesterday. Been talking a lot about him joining the track team. We communicated with the coach and are submitting all his paperwork, etc. Thought it would be fun for us to do a mile together. Was good for me to keep some momentum on simply moving, and also good to connect as father/son. It was really fun and I’m grateful we did it. Q struggled a bit more than he expected and got pretty winded after about 2 laps. He pulled it together and was able to finish. I’m really proud of him, for putting himself out there more lately and pushing to try new things. He’s growing up so much and maturing, literally before our eyes. I’m thankful that my body is still able to keep me going and that I can connect with Quincy on such a direct level.
I also purchased tix yesterday for the upcoming US Open Women’s Final! It’s been a lifelong bucket list item and I’ve always pushed it off for financial, or other reasons. I really want to go and see Serena Williams, as I consider her one of, if not the greatest athlete of my lifetime. Lisa agreed to go with me and we are planning a whirlwind drive to the match and then head right back home. I’m super thankful that I am able to financially be able to experience events like this and that my wife is supportive and pushes me to not worry much about it.
9/4/19: Band practice last night. Was a bit rough as Paul was unable to come due to a shoulder injury. We pushed through and decided to jam anyways, since we haven’t connected in a couple weeks. It was cool to try out some of the electric songs on acoustic for the first time, but it was also a struggle to get a sense of things without our drummer. Grateful everyone is committed to the project enough to make the effort, even without our full compliment. Less than 3 months until our debut gig and I want to ensure we are as ready as possible.
Bella tried out and got accepted for an acapella group at Assumption. She asked us during the afternoon about song recommendations and we told her to sing something she loves and everything would take care of itself. She is such a talented musician that it doesn’t really matter what the material is, so long as she ‘feels’ it. I’m proud of her for putting herself out there and seeking opportunities to connect with people. I’m also happy to see she will have a musical outlet in her life, since she hasn’t given that much attention in the last year+. Thankful for all the blessings Bella brings to our life and for her confidence in herself.
Each morning, I’ve been getting a couple minutes with Q. This used to be my routine with Bella, but now that he is in HS and she is away at college, I get to connect with him. He’s doing a good job of getting himself up and dressed and ready each morning. I’ve had confidence in him to take care of himself for a while. He just needs to be given the chance to prove himself and he rises to the occasion. He collected some info about joining the track team, which is also super encouraging. I’m proud of his approach and seeing him embrace some new processes in his daily routine.
9/3/19: Long weekend. Spent the day on Saturday over at Mike/Doreen’s place. Wabreks, Lanzettas and Jerry also joined. Had a good day of laughing, eating and conversations. I overdid it and tried not to get down about it. I’m grateful to have some friends that I enjoy spending time with and also for amazing weather, which we’ve had seemingly all summer.
Did some major housecleaning also, in particular, we did a deep dive in Bella’s old room. I took down all the wall decor, which included a ton of concert, drama club and travel stuff. I think it’s awesome that Bella kept all those memories and I did the same as a kid. We kept everything very organized for her to rifle through and keep for herself later. Lisa cleaned underneath the beds and the room is in great shape for the next phase, which is going to involve us moving into it, while Q occupies our downstairs area. Thankful that we can afford such a nice house and that we take care in keeping the space clean.
Quincy was pretty active over the weekend. He spent the day with James on Saturday, which is awesome. I think he’s a great role model for Q and he’s a smart, funny kid. I let him drive my car to the skating rink 😉 . Jake came over and they played tennis for an hour and then shot some hoops. I’m grateful to see Quincy take more of an interest in being active. I think it will help his development, the same way that music activates new areas in your brain and body. He’s never been into sports but he’s expressing interest in joining the track team at THS. Thankful to see him opening his eyes to new things and for pushing the boundaries of what he’s comfortable with.
8/30/19: Got some nice rehearsal time in yesterday by myself. Trying out some new songs for the set and enjoying the process of trying to learn them, albeit slowly. Went out to Flatbread Pizza in Providence last night, which Quincy has been asking about for a few weeks. Was nice to connect over dinner and enjoy some laughs and conversation outside the house. Received a nice text from Bella telling me she received my letter. I really enjoyed writing and sending it, and intend to make that a weekly practice. It’s a nice way for me to do some pen/paper writing that has some purpose behind it, and I’m grateful to have the outlet to connect with her, even long distance.
8/29/18: Q started THS yesterday. He missed the bus in the morning, but he was awake and had himself ready to go, which was awesome. He’s going to do great there and I know most of the school attention has been on Bella lately, but he’s also on a new path to cool things. I’m proud of both kids and thankful that they are motivated to excel.
I was texting with B last night hearing about all the price gouging the school continues, around books this time. Besides that, she talked about making a circle of friends already and spending time together. She also said she spent a couple hours at the school library, which made me smile. She seems off to a great start and continues to send pics of salad everyday from the cafeteria. Grateful that she is headed in the right direction so quickly and keeping us in the loop by connecting regularly.
8/28/19: Work continues to have some positive trajectory lately. Yesterday I spent a few hours working with new folks and discussing some new projects together. I always enjoy the parts of the process that involve connecting and sharing ideas. Grateful to have some of that in my work lately.
I had a conference call with John Valliant, from the GBKF, who granted Rawkstars $15k for organizational development. It was nice to meet him and we discussed ways of working together moving forward. He has a lot of experience helping develop non-profits and I’m thankful he is taking some time to work with me. The money is super helpful but the knowledge and experience could be even more valuable to the organization and to me as a person.
8/27/19: Raynham fun run last night with Lisa. It was the last instance of the season, unfortunately. I’ve improved my attendance and a bit of my pace over the last month. Thinking about setting up my own weekly run, either at Fields Park or someplace to keep a routine going through fall. Spent some time chatting with Bill? who runs the event and he was really personable. Turns out he plays guitar so we talked a lot about music. Grateful that I am able to run and complete 5k type races with semi-regularity. My fitness isn’t at it’s highest level but I am still trying and enjoying the process.
8/26/19: Had a low-key Sunday, mostly at home. Did the weekly grocery shopping and spent a good amount of time prepping and cooking. Made homemade applesauce to use up some of the aging fruit and made a big pot of spaghetti sauce, for dinner and use during the week. Grateful that I’ve learned to be a decent cook and it brings me lots of enjoyment. It’s a meditative time when you’re chopping and putting together a dish. I also got some time to practice yesterday and worked on Kings & Queens by Aerosmith and Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. Hopeful these will be our next couple tunes and will get us near the 12-song / 60 minute set. Thankful as always for music and being able to finally improve my chops as a bassist, even slowly.
8/25/19: Spent the afternoon down in Plymouth with Q and Lisa. We did a ton of walking and just hung out for a couple hours. In the morning, Lisa asked me to run, which I thankfully did. We ran the local 5k loop around the post office. It was hard, as always, but also felt great afterward. I’m grateful that I am still able to run and have a decent level of fitness, even though I’ve gained some weight and struggled with my eating lately.
Over the weekend, we got word that Wyatt has suffered a pretty serious infection, as a result of a seemingly innocent ankle injury. He was wearing a boot for a few weeks and because of the pressure and hiding the increased swelling, they didn’t know anything was wrong until it started literally bleeding through. He went to the hospital and it was determined he had a really bad infection growing through his bone, muscle and even his blood. He had surgery and is having another one today. Poor guy has been in the hospital a few days straight and will be there at least another week. I wish we were there to comfort Mikey and Alyssa as they go through this ordeal as a family. Wyatt is an easy going kid and they say he has been taking it like a champ. I’m so incredibly grateful that we never had any serious health issues with either of the kids, save a few broken bones and stitches over the years. I always tell them how health is the #1 ingredient for a happy existence and that most people don’t think about it until something happens. We are all rooting hard for Wyatt to make a full recovery and if anyone can show the determination to rehab, it’s him. Alyssa sets an amazing example of discipline and metal toughness and I’m sure WB will do everything he can, once he is through the woods. Grateful also for such a loving nephew and for the entire Bento family.
8/24/19: Moved Bella into Assumption yesterday. It’s been a hell of a journey over the last 6 months since this whole college thing started. The discussions, campus visits, guidance counselor sessions, family talks, financial planning, applications, room conversations and all the emotional stress for Bella and us as parents, not to mention Quincy having to listen to it all has been challenging. Moving day was certainly a big step. We got her settled in the dorm, unpacked all her stuff and helped decorate the space a bit. It’s a smallish room and she is going to have to get used to a whole new lifestyle. Her roommate Zoemi seems really nice and I hope that will make the transition somewhat easier for Bella. It was rough saying goodbye and thinking about her being alone, at least until she starts to make some friends and gets immersed in the work schedule. I know those things will happen quickly, but it was still hard. I’ve been telling people (and myself) how happy we were for her, but that didn’t prevent me from feeling lonely, leaving her behind and even at home last night. Even now as I type this, Bella’s room is empty and it’s fucking weird! I am grateful to have such an amazing daughter and family. Everyone is part of the puzzle when a kid goes off to college and our family handled it as best as could be expected, I think. We are all rallying around Bella and wishing her nothing but success, which I know is a foregone conclusion.
After getting home, we made tacos. Quincy helped, which is unusual but was nice. I taught him how to turn on the stove and sauté onions. Lisa showed him how to dice a tomato. We had a nice family dinner and played a couple games afterward. He’s a good boy and I’m grateful to have a teenage son who wants to hang out with his parents still.
8/23/19: Visited MHOC for the 3rd round yesterday and met with the special sheriff along with the rest of the staff. Meredith and I connected beforehand for breakfast and it was great getting to know her more. She actually brought a hand drum along and did a live demonstration of a simple group drumming exercise. It was awesome and a powerful way to start the meeting. I spoke for a few minutes and outlined our strategy and some concepts I wanted to reinforce. It was really positive and they gave us the go ahead on the budget! We’ve got to work on a start date, schedule and I’ve got several tasks ahead in preparation, but I am super excited. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to execute this program and for having connected with Meredith and John to bring this to life. I’m also grateful for having met the prison staff, who have been nothing short of awesome to engage with so far. This is a really fabulous opportunity for Rawkstars and personally, it resonates with me deeply. I want to work on creative, engaging projects, especially ones that help people and include music. This has all the elements in place for something really special. I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I also sense it could open a lot of new doors for Rawkstars, with our donors and for our programming.
After the prison meeting, I connected with Bryan Hinkley, who Barry had introduced me to via Facebook. Bryan runs a studio and music licensing business in Boston. He also played guitar in a punk/metal band called Tree back in the glory days of the Boston scene. He recently participated in a music program with DYS kids and had some cool experience to share. He also has a lot of business experience and I think there are ways we might work together. The program he helped with is part of a larger program run by Wayne Kramer of MC5. I’m hopeful Bryan will connect us so we can see if there is some synergy to working together on a similar project. Super grateful to connect with like-minded, smart, entrepreneurs who have the desire to help others. Super grateful for everything that happened yesterday.
8/22/19: Continuing a little streak of positive energy at Hasbro. I’ve begun spending more time with the folks trying to setup Slingshot, the new agency the marketing CXO is trying to get off the ground. It’s been nice to connect with new folks, learn about new parts of a business and propose approaches that are well received. Hopeful to spin that into an upgraded position and realize the goal of expanding our team and adding a person, as I’ve been aiming for these last several months. Even if it doesn’t come to pass, I’m grateful for expanding my horizons and having a little bit of meaning in my work day lately.
8/21/19: Band practice last night. It was actually kinda terrible. Paul was really late and has been nursing a bad shoulder. We tried the electric set, and hadn’t played any of those songs together in 6+ weeks. It showed. After rehearsal, we sat and talked for a while about our approach and we settled on focusing on the acoustic stuff, at least until we get enough songs for a full set at the 12/1 gig. I’m actually quite happy about it as I think that is our wheelhouse and sets us apart. We agreed to try and continue with most of the electric tunes, but try to rework them acoustically. Our next jam is going to focus on those and I’m gonna work hard to make that rehearsal awesome. Narrowing our sights will give us a chance to hone in on a sound that we can make our own. I’m grateful that the band is open to my ideas about the direction we are going and the trust they place in me doesn’t go unappreciated. It’s a bit odd, given that I am by far the least accomplished player, but I’m going to work to ensure their confidence is rewarded.
8/19/19: Busy weekend of activities. Friday I spent time connecting over coffee with Abigail Vail. I met her at the open mic last week and we exchanged contact info. She lives down in Plymouth so we met at Kiskadee and just talked. She was really nice and I enjoyed getting to know her back story and tell mine. I think that we will work together on a project at some point, either a gig or something else. I talked with her about becoming a Rawkstars Ambassador, which is a program idea I’m starting to form to bring local musicians into our ranks more formally. Grateful for the human connection that I’m able to make through music.
Lisa’s band played Saturday and Sunday. Both were casual, fundraiser type events. The first was at American Legion in Raynham, and had very few attendees. They had a fill in bass player who was good, but it was weird seeing them perform without Dave. Lisa always blows away the audience and she has come such a long way as a singer. She was always a good musician but the last few years her command of the songs has really blossomed. I love watching the accolades she gets from the crowd after her performance. I feel grateful to be married to such a talented woman!
The second event was a fundraiser organized by Perry Paolucci. He does a lot of charity/music events and we’ve become friendly over the last year or so. He offered to donate some of the proceeds to Rawkstars, which made it even more special. Moonstruck played as did a few other bands. I enjoyed the opener, a 3 piece who played Zeppelin tunes, with a chick singer/bass player. An ACDC tribute closed the show and they were really fun. Lots of cool people at the gig that I got to catch up with. Rawkstars will receive a donation from the event and I am eternally grateful about how much our mission resonates with people. Getting to see great music, spend time with friends and raise money at the same time is something I’ll never take for granted.
8/15/19: Continued the trend of productive work meetings yesterday. Charging forward on the scrum implementation with the new agency team. Feels good to be busier and the prospect of working with a new team that is forming excites me.
Had lunch with Ecem and she told me all about an amazing trip she just returned from. Visited England, Turkey, Thailand and Greece, over 3 weeks. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to travel fairly extensively, even though it’s not as much as I wish. Lisa and I have a visit to Savannah coming up next month and I’m grateful to continue to be able to see new cities together.
Jaime, from my team at work, came to me very candidly with some concerns about our team’s process. I was really grateful to have her come to me and have such a direct conversation. It’s difficult to satisfy all the needs within a group like that and I appreciated her openness and for the chance to make things better for her and the group.
8/14/19: Had some productive meetings yesterday, both for Rawkstars and Hasbro. On the RS side, I connected with OMG (Jamie and Jesse) and we walked through their statement of work for the student blog / membership portal. It sounds really good and I think I am ready to sign a contract to engage with them officially. I’ll also be leveraging them for social media and strategy work in getting lots of components setup to eventually self-manage. Overall it’s going to be an investment of about $15,000 for the application build plus about 6 months of consulting. It’s a big number but I feel confident in their ability to create what we need and to work together with them to build momentum around Rawkstars 2.0. Nervous but excited. Beyond thankful to have connected with folks that I feel can help me make this leap thoughtfully and responsibly.
Sat in with a group at the new marketing agency being setup at Hasbro to discuss process. I’ve been pitching in and around the idea of combining a demand module, with an execution module and surrounding it all with scrum. I finally feel like the right folks are in place and I am in a position to gain their signoff. I’ll be working the next week or two on an official proof of concept and short deck to describe the approach. Ideally, they will embrace the idea and I’ll be given an opportunity to make it fly as they launch this new department. I’d like it to come along with a promotion and a new hire that I can work with to bring it to life. I feel confident about getting the signoff and unsure about the other parts. Regardless of outcome, I am grateful that smart people in the organization are at least listening to me and that I have a forum to put forth my opinions. I know if accepted, the challenge will be difficult but my gut tells me it’s the right move and certainly better than treading water, which isn’t fulfilling me in any way.
8/13/19: Quincy has been spending a lot of energy trying to rescue the kitty at the end of our street. There were two initially, and he captured the first one with relative ease. #2 is much more shy and we haven’t been able to catch him yet. He is going out all day long checking the traps, texting with Tabitha about next steps and generally super empathetic towards the plight of the cat. It’s really sweet to see and I’m not surprised. Grateful to have a son who has such a big, loving heart.
8/12/19: Took Bella and Q down to Plymouth today. Lisa went to represent at the Mojo gig down at the Pines. I wasn’t really feeling social after several days of big crowds and needed some time to be quiet. It was gorgeous out and we got coffee smoothies and walked around the waterfront. It was really nice to spend time with them and talk. We all had dinner together for the first time in a while and after we ate, we had Bella tell Q that he could take over her room after she left for college. He was super happy and told her he loved her 😉 It was really sweet and a great way to kick off the next phase of life for all of us. Bella is gracious and understands why it’s important to him, even though it will be a downgrade for her. Quincy was very happy, which was awesome for all of us. Grateful to have this time with the kids and see them maturing so much together.
Quincy and Lisa also rescued a kitten from the end of our street. We noticed two of them appear a couple nights ago and they were clearly abandoned. Quincy managed to collect one of them, and we took him to our friend Tabitha, who boards them at her house. The second one has proven elusive. He and Lisa have been trying to catch him the last couple nights and leaving food and a cage outside, to no avail. I’m thankful Quincy has such empathy for the kittens and really has a big heart and wants desperately to save the other one.
8/11/19: Spent yesterday at the Wabrek’s lake house. Q came along and James was there as well. Really enjoyed the downtime and we simply relaxed and talked. We took a couple boat rides and Q and James jumped in the water a couple times. I love seeing Quincy hang with James, as he is an awesome kid and a good influence, especially as Quincy has begun maturing more. We had some laughs and talked about music of course. I abstained from beer, which was also a small victory as I’ve been trying to keep my body more clean the last few weeks. I rode my bike over, which I am also grateful for. It wasn’t a super strenuous ride, but spawned a good idea for telling stories of Rawkstars supporters through a monthly email. I’m thankful when being present leads to clear thinking and for being able to move my body, even in small amounts, to keep it going.
8/9/19: Where to even start?! Last night was the Rawkstars Open Mic event at Rick’s Music. A pretty large crowd turned out. We showcased 3 of our students, DiMario, Anthony and Kyle. In addition, some of our friends came down to perform including Mike/Alex Fradkin, Dave/Noah Liolios and Kelly/Sammi Pedersen. A few friends also came down to support us and see the show.
I spent the first half of the day with Kyle and his dad, as part of a video project I’m working on for Rawkstars 2.0. It was great getting to know them more and listening to Kyle tell his own story. I hired a fabulous director named Jonas who brought along some super nice crew guys. We all connected very strongly and developed a quick bond. Later, we traveled back to our house and filmed myself, Lisa and Jack talking about Rawkstars in various ways. I’m super excited to see the results of the videos and it’s a big investment in taking the charity to a new place. I was really grateful to have connected with Jonas, Damien and Doa. They were all really smart, insightful guys who I definitely want to work with more.
Back to the gig. The kids were all absolutely amazing and I felt blessed to be in such great company. Some old timers performed at the open mic and I was equally moved by some of them. Music is such a great unifier of people and the love and energy in the room was tangible. Bella and Q also came down to support and Q helped film the event for me. I’m truly thankful that they get to experience these kinds of events and feel what it’s all about. It means the world to me.
After the 3 Rawk kids played, Heavy Mellow debuted 3 songs. We were really well rehearsed and even though it was our first public performance, I felt we were very strong. We got a ton of compliments and really brought the energy in the room to a super high level. There is nothing like performing live music to make you feel alive. I’m eternally grateful that I finally got over the hump of not playing an instrument, after so many years in the music biz. It’s become one of the true joys of my life and I am continually blessed to be surrounded by immense talent and people that share the same feeling.
At the event, I was able to gift a beautiful black Epiphone SG to Wayne’s son Homer, who also performed. The guitar came to me interestingly. An old friend John Robinson, found it at his local dump. He gave it to his neighbor, another old friend Dave Yuknat. Dave and I happened to have a lunch scheduled for that same week. He cleaned and setup the guitar and brought it to me over lunch. I’m so grateful to not only change Homer’s life by giving him the instrument, but it will also change John and Dave, as they made it happen and I know that will stay with them forever.
8/8/19: Reminded about the simple pleasure of food. Lisa cooked a nice dinner including an asian slaw salad with some pork. It was really tasty and felt good to eat. I’ve been doing better with my food intake and exercise the last couple weeks. Been trying to turn things around after a rough summer stretch and focusing on the preparation of clean, whole, quality foods always helps. Also got a bit of time with the kiddos last night. Bella is counting down the days (15) until she moves into the dorm. Been trying to get small windows of time when we can be together and it’s been really nice. Grateful that she still enjoys spending time with us and that we have so much to look forward to watching her blossom.
8/7/19: Rehearsed at Rick’s Music last night with Heavy Mellow. We decided to try and practice there since we have the open mic jam on Thursday. It’s a fairly unique setup, as all the instruments plug directly into the PA, so no stage monitors or amps. They also employ an electronic drum kit. It was fun and we got to rehearse in front of a small crowd of random parents and some of the instructors, who trickled out to see what was up in between lessons. The band sounded good and I had a good time. Grateful as always, to play with these guys and all the great musicians I’ve been fortunate to connect with these last couple years since I picked up the bass. I feel a tinge of embarrassment sometimes at the excellent level of players I’ve been able to jam with, despite my own limited skill set. It’s momentary and I know that my background and relationships enable that, same as anyone else in their given field of expertise.
8/6/19: Raynham fun run last night with Lisa. Over the last 2 weeks I’ve made a bit of progress on my exercise and eating trajectory. I made a pledge to Q that I was going to try and get my weight down to 229 by my birthday. It’s always a slow turnaround but I am doing better, and that’s where I’m focusing. The run was slow, as has been my pattern this year, but it felt solid. My wind was decent and I was fairly comfortable. I was proud of myself for getting out there and continuing to build slow momentum. I complain a lot about my body and feel my age often. That said, I am grateful for my body in that it has held up without major issues as I approach 50, despite the burden and poor attention I’ve paid to it for 3/4 of my life. Also thankful for the time with Lisa and being active together as a couple. It helps our relationship.
8/5/19: Weekend was a good mix of eventful, productive and relaxing. I finally got around to dealing with the felled tree in the backyard. I bought a chainsaw, and worked for a couple hours. I had to break apart the metal gazeebo, untangle endless ropes of vines and then cut the trunk. I got a bunch done, then finished the cleanup the following day. It was satisfying to complete the job without any help and I’m grateful that I was able to physically perform the hard work needed to clear it out.
Lisa and I went to see Rebirth Brass Band on Saturday night down in Providence. We met Jack and his wife Elaine for dinner, at The Grange. We had a nice meal and the show was fun. Stark contrast to the Maiden show 2 nights earlier, as the band couldn’t have been more stripped down and low-tech. Regardless, they were great and I really like the small room at Fete. Crowd was sparse but energetic and we ran into Don Sanders, an old friend of mine from Hasbro.
Yesterday I took Q to see the newest Spiderman movie. The day was pretty low key and the girls were both at work. We bonded and had a good time. I’m glad he is getting into some of these hero movies recently as it gives us something else to connect over. Thankful he enjoys spending time with me and that we have each other as best friends.
8/2/19: Went to the mighty Iron Maiden last night. It was part of the Rawkstars raffle prize from earlier this month, so I took Darren Lourie and his girlfriend for the backstage extravaganza. During the afternoon, Lisa got a free lawn ticket from her old drummer Jerry, so I bought another for Quincy. We went as a family a few years back and it was really fun, both kids loved it. After we got to the show, we split up. I took Bella, who Lisa had graciously given her VIP spot to, and Lisa and Q stayed with some of our friends to tailgate. The tour portion was really cool and we got working passes from the band this time. Peter was a great host and gave everyone shirts and books, along with the backstage tour. While eating in catering, Steve Harris and Bruce Dickinson both came through. I told Bella to say hi to Bruce, and after some coaxing she did. It was a cool moment and I know she’ll remember that for many, many years. We did our usual walk around to kill time prior to the band starting and I saw a bunch of friends. Once the show was about to start, I decided to head backstage one last time to hit the bathroom and grab a water. I ran into Dennis, who was actually using the bathroom I was waiting for. He wound up giving me a ticket for a seat in the lower section, even though I was planning to stand with Bella in the pit. After a few songs, I realized I could take one of our passes and escort others into the pit and I also had the extra ticket. So I walked to the far back and found Quincy. I met him on the lawn, gave him one of the passes and walked him straight to the front row, where Bella and our other group was. Then I headed back again and found Louie and Liam. I brought them down also, gave Lou the ticket and took Liam to the front row with the other kids. It was super cool seeing them wide-eyed standing right in front of Iron Maiden. They absolutely loved being there, as did I. We all enjoyed the show tremendously and it brought me great joy to be able to share such an experience with friends and especially the kids. I am truly grateful for the little perks I’m able to sometimes generate around the band scene. Not only does it bring me great excitement and joy personally, but sharing it with others is among the most fulfilling activities in my life.
8/1/19: Bella had some friends over last night. They spent the day at Courtney’s pool and then came over to the house. There were 5 of them plus Cam. Quincy was home and joined their posse. The boys shot some hoops for a while, which he has been getting more interested in lately. They then came in and played some Wii, which Cam left at our place a couple weeks back. Bella asked me to light a fire so I got the yard setup, built a fire, plugged in the lights and lit the citronella candles. I sat outside myself and started a new book that just arrived, The War of Art. I made myself dinner then ate out back. Afterward I went in the house and let them take over the patio. They all went outside and hung for a few hours, then drove to Taco Bell for late night food. It’s really cool to see them all interact and just be friends. It’s simple and they all seem like easy going kids. Quincy really digs hanging with the older kids and it’s an excellent example for him to see their easy-going relationships. So grateful that the kids have gotten closer these last few years and that Q is maturing along with them.
7/31/19: Visited the PACT unit at Middlesex House of Corrections again yesterday. Brought John Baptista and Meredith Pizzi. John is on board to run the band program while Meredith will be overseeing the therapy facets. It was another inspiring visit and productive. We did a shorter version of the unit tour, since I wanted John and Meredith to get some feel for the space and the inmates. Afterward, we retreated to a room where we reviewed the proposal with the prison staff. It was well received and we had a great talk about the various aspects and feedback on specific areas we wanted to flesh out. I think both John and Meredith were really inspired by the meeting and my hope is we are closer to getting approval and funding for the pilot. While we were on site, 4 of the inmates had prepared music they wanted to share with us. I had no idea what that meant, but we brought them into the space where they queued up some tracks on a computer. One guy proceeded to rap a few verses he had written over a beat, downloaded from youtube. He sounded pretty good and did the performance with his eyes closed. He said he previously had done some music, and planned to focus in on it once released. The second group, consisted of 3 guys, two of which I remembered from our first visit, Vernon and Derek. They turned on another youtube track and Vernon began to sing a melody over top by himself. He sounded pretty good and had charisma and confidence. The other 2 guys then rhymed through their own verses, which contained lyrics about being in prison. The song was pretty well put together, with a proper chorus and the aforementioned melody parts. The lyrics were really moving and personal. I was kinda blown away by how awesome they were and wished others could have seen and heard these guys. It was very powerful and my gratitude was off the charts for them having shared that with us. Really hoping we get a crack at putting this program in place. It resonates with me very much and I’m proud of the work we are doing in furtherance of getting it approved. Also super grateful for John’s input and for meeting Meredith. She is super smart and polished and brings a very strong clinical background to the table. I felt her approach really complimented mine and I feel like I can learn a lot from her on many levels.
7/30/19: Got to the gym last night and ran on the treadmill with Lisa. We were going to run the Raynham 5k, but it was super muggy and hot and we changed gears last minute. Still, I was glad to get a run in and it felt pretty good. My pace is way down but that’s not something I generally focus on. My gait was solid and I felt relatively strong throughout. Some people, including Lisa, hate the treadmill, but I kinda like it. It keeps me steady and I run smoother without having to look at the ground or worry about curbs, rocks, etc. I also get motivated by being in the gym area, which I don’t get a ton of. Grateful that I can still bang out 5k, even when my weight and relative shape are not in the best place. Also grateful that Lisa helps motivate me into action when I need it.
7/29/19: Spent a few hours doing the Cliff Walk down in Newport with Quincy. It’s a gorgeous walk that runs along the ocean and adjacent to several mansions. It was pretty hot and he was complaining more as we started back towards the car. It didn’t spoil the time and he calmed down quickly once we got out of the heat. I should have done a better job of bringing along water so he had some relief. We grabbed drinks at a coffee spot before driving back home, which was nice. I also brought him along grocery shopping, which he did without issue. It was great to spend time together just doing simple things. After getting home, I prepared a seafood paella type dinner, which came out ok. Not my best effort but I winged it as opposed to closely following a recipe. Trying to do that a bit more lately. Grateful for the time with Quincy and for the simple pleasures of hanging around on a Sunday afternoon.
7/28/19: Light weekend. Stayed around the house the last couple days and grateful for the simple days of not much to do. We saw the Bento’s one last time on Friday before they headed back to Denver. We ate at a Brazilian steakhouse down in Plymouth and had some laughs. Wyatt slept over and we drove him back to Stoughton to say goodbye. We missed Mikey, but saw Alyssa and Abi for a little while. Grateful for having them in our lives and part of our family. Q and WB have a good bond and it’s sweet to see them together. I know Quincy will miss him and really enjoys spending time together. At the dinner, Quincy made a nice toast to the family and included Sammy, their dog who had to be put down a couple weeks back. Grateful to have a loving son who is thoughtful.
7/26/19: Connected with music a lot yesterday. Been listening to the acoustic AIC set from the early MTV Unplugged session. Watching Layne is kinda mesmerizing. He was so vulnerable, despite being an amazing singer and musician. I’ve seen it a lot but knowing his backstory and seeing his body language during that show really hit me. I’m hoping HM can pickup one of these songs, either Would or Rooster most likely, for our set. As usually happens, it sent me down a rabbit hole and I started hitting up a bunch of Seattle rock from that era. I also took out my bass for a bit and practiced. So grateful for music and to live in an era where technology allows me to pull up anything and everything I want to listen to or watch, which is often better than simply listening.
7/25/19: Got myself to the gym for the second time this week. Doing well with my eating and mindfulness this week. Thankful to be able to reset myself when I put my mind to it. Kids spent the day at Canobie Lake Park. Bella went with her friends for a summer getaway and offered to take Q and 2 of his buddies along in her car. They were gone the entire day and came home close to 11pm. It’s been such a great experience seeing them bond so much over the last several months. As they’ve gotten older, they are much more willing and interested in being together and connecting. Cam has had a great influence on Q and has helped make the dynamic better. Super grateful that our kids are becoming closer and enjoying each other more as they mature.
7/24/19: HM band rehearsal last night. We are focusing on just our acoustic tunes as we are going to perform at the Rick’s/Rawkstars open mic thing in 2 weeks. We are going to debut 3 songs, and I cannot wait to play in front of people with the energy that only comes from performing music. It was nice to strip down the jam and spend time on fewer songs, with more attention to detail. I also continue to gravitate to the acoustic tracks more than the electric stuff. Over the next few weeks, I plan to gauge the interest of the band on moving us more in that direction. I think it showcases us in a more unique light. Bands who play our kind of songs are usually electric while bands that play acoustically, usually don’t play our kind of songs. I like the idea of occupying a different musical space and giving us a slant that others don’t have. Musically, it’s also kind of cool to play at a lower volume with higher attention to the mix and nuance of the sound. Super grateful to have this outlet in my life and to be playing with such awesome musicians.
7/23/19: Bella’s 18th bday yesterday. We celebrated the prior weekend, but something about the actual date made a slight difference in how I felt. I posted my favorite Khalil Gilbran poem about children. I read that occasionally when I’m being controlling with the kids. It’s a most excellent reminder to not try and make them like me. Lots of people posted nice comments about Bella and she deserves all the love and affection that comes her way from our friend group.
I also had a solid day of eating and went to the gym for the first time in months. I made a pact with Q over the weekend that I was aiming to get my weight in hand. My goal is to get down to 229, which is a symbolic number, by my birthday. Essentially it’s about 16lbs. in 2 months. After work, I came home, changed and went to WOW. They had all new cardio machines, which was awesome. It’s always been a great environment for me, as being around so many fit people is motivational. I did an uphill walk on the treadmill, while listening to Tara Brach. I’m super grateful for the motivation, and even for Tara’s words. We are lucky to live in an era when such wisdom is so widely available to anyone looking for it. After getting home, I ate the beautiful fish I bought and prepared on Sunday.
A tree broke and fell in our yard last night. It narrowly missed the house. It smashed the gazebo around the hot tub, but that was super old anyhow. There will be lots to cleanup this weekend for sure, but I am thankful our house was spared any damage.
7/22/19: Spent the day food shopping and cooking. It’s been super duper hot and I decided to lay low and be inside. Lisa had to work so I wanted to get focused on preparing healthy food. I’ve been in such a funk lately with taking care of my body and one aspect I’ve neglected is making time and having energy for food care. I shopped and then came home and got things ready for the next 3 dinners. I went outside briefly to shoot baskets with Q. I told him I was going to pledge to get down to 229 by my birthday, which is about 2 months away. Grateful to have made time for myself and to make better choices for my family.
7/21/19: 22nd wedding anniversary yesterday. It was super hot and we spent the afternoon at the Bento’s pool yard. Always a good time, we enjoyed a couple beers, grilled some chicken and stayed cool. Tia Donna was there and it was nice to chat with her for a while. After resting up at home for a bit, I took Lisa out to dinner down in Providence. We found a new Greek spot called Kleo’s, which was amazing. We parked and walked, as we usually do, to catch some night air. We stopped at The Dorrance, an old Providence hotel and had a drink at the lobby bar, then walked downtown to the restaurant. Food was absolutely terrific and we feasted on a vegetarian moussaka, the best/simplest greek salad ever and a dish that came with several spreads and warm pita. Spicy feta, avocado, sweet potato, hummus and an anchovy paste; each of which were equally amazing. So very grateful for my years with Lisa. She enjoys food as much as I do and after all these years we still love spending time together just hanging out.
7/20/19: Quincy had a sleepover last night. He had Jake, Isaiah, Owen and a new kid come over for a couple hours. They played basketball, which was awesome to see. He’s not much of a sports kid, but some of those guys are. Plus, he and I have been shooting around more often lately. We also played the night before when Wyatt was here. We had a game of 2:1 and had several laughs as they beat me of course. Anyhow, the kids all played outside until dark. Lisa and I hung out with Bella, which was also very cool. She has been looking for opportunities to spend time with us lately, as she knows the college thing is quickly approaching. It’s really sweet and we are both very thankful that she still wants to spend time together.
7/19/19: Wyatt spent the night with us yesterday. We watched Hot Ones, this youtube show where the guests eat super hot chicken wings in succession. It’s kinda funny and Q has shown it to me a couple times. We decided to take the kids out to Boneheads, the wing place down in Fall River. We ordered the hottest sauce on the menu, Hells Bells. We each agreed to eat one wing, which we proceeded to do once they arrive. Insanely hot! At first it didn’t seem too bad, but once I ate it, about 30 seconds later it just kept getting hotter and hotter. All of us were on fire and Wyatt was yelling for chocolate milk. It was pretty funny and a cool activity to do as a family. Since we only ate one each, we had a few extras. I told Q to bring them to the table next to us where two tattooed big guys were eating. We convinced them to each also try one and they proceeded to scream and guzzle water for the next 10 minutes while we all enjoyed a laugh. They were good sports about it and it was a fun night together. Grateful for some time with WB and for his influence on Quincy, Lisa and I.
7/18/19: Family dinner last night. Got home from work and the kids were home, with Cam, and binge watching Stranger Things 3. Since we had watched the first couple, I didn’t want to see the end, so I went downstairs. After the show, they came down and we all talked for a little while. It was sweet and so nice to see them all connecting and happy. We talked about going out to eat, but eventually settled on cooking some leftovers we still have from the party. Afterward, we all went to Peaceful Meadows for ice cream. Simple, but nice to all be together. Grateful.
I paid the first invoice for Assumption, semester 1. It was the largest single bill I ever paid, at $17,297. I’ve struggled a ton with the college thing, especially on the financial side. That aside, I am grateful to be in a position to help Bella achieve her dreams. She is super excited about the school and I am happy to see her that way. My goal is to cover 4/8 tuition bills for her, so getting the first one out of the way was a big deal. I nearly have enough saved for #2 already, and our plan to sell the PV condo should cover #3+. Bella has also saved $8k+ already and we’ll put that towards the pile. Grateful to be in position to support my family financially and that my daughter has such a great work ethic and has learned how to set goals and save her own money already.
7/17/19: Took the day off and rode the bike path down to Bristol again. Coaxed Lisa into joining this time. Was fun and an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon. We had lunch down on the waterfront and drank a beer before heading back. Nice, simple way to spend a summer afternoon together enjoying life. Grateful for the partnership we have and for having a job that allows me a good amount of balance time.
Both of us had ‘words’ with Q last night, mostly around him taking better care of himself and being more self-sufficient. It degenerated a bit, as happens sometimes. Afterward, Lisa went to band practice and I sat outside with him to talk. I’m grateful to be able to connect with my son, even on difficult conversations. I always learn a bit about him and myself in the process and hope we are on a trajectory to better understand and communicate with each other. He’s a great kid and I am thankful for any time we are connecting.
7/15/19: HM rehearsal yesterday. Was tough getting going the morning after the party. I got up early and started cleaning. Lisa had done a bunch the night before, while I was passed out, so there was a big head start. Anyways, after the cleanup, the band showed up in the afternoon. Jam was disjointed this week, but we tried out ‘Sober’ on a whim at the end and it sounded great! We are going to narrow our focus the next couple weeks and just clean up the acoustic songs, since we will be performing those at the open mic night in a couple weeks. I really like how the band is coming together. It suits my personality in that we are able to capture a great performance, but everyone is really casual with our approach. Looking forward to seeing what the live energy does and how that shapes us. Grateful to be playing in a situation that suits me with such cool laid back people.
7/14/19: Saturday was Bella’s graduation/18th b-day party. Amazing weather and the party was epic. It started slow, but people started showing up around 3 and it grew from there. We had an awesome mix of Lisa’s family, my side, old friends and our neighborhood peeps. The food was exceptional and we had some Portuguese dishes we bought plus a ton of homemade items. Some of the Aunts and Uncles showed up from Lisa’s side and we saw some cousins we don’t see often, like Kerry Anne, Nicole and John Sousa. I did a shot of tequila with Randy! Yes, Randy. I also did one with Bella! Yes Bella. Quincy abstained even though Mikey had a drink with Wyatt at the end of the night. Q is his own man and doesn’t give into peer pressure, which is an awesome trait. I played the video montage for everyone and Q played his Office parody. Later in the night, he, Cam and Lisa played the ‘Friends” theme too. All of it was well received. Love was in the air and it was great to see everyone really mixing socially. So proud of Bella, she deserved a great party and it really came together. I’m super grateful for our friends and family. That’s probably the most special thing that we have created together and it showed itself once again on Saturday.
7/12/19: Had a short work day yesterday. Not uncommon lately and I am grateful that my schedule is fairly well balanced most weeks. Started getting some things in place for Bella’s big party this weekend including yard cleanup, lawn cut, and a little picture project to display prints of Bella. I really want her to feel special and loved. Lisa, Q and I went to Subway last night while she was working to grab dinner. Little things like that I am thankful for and I know the kids appreciate, even without even noticing or saying so.
7/11/19: Was very productive yesterday in/around Rawkstars work. I had a tech call with a developer who helped steer me towards a possible architecture/solution for the system I am trying to build. I also made progress on completing my portion of a grant we are submitting to MDU foundation. Contacted the folks at PACT to aim to setup our next visit. Spoke with John Baptista about the budget portion. Scheduled a meeting with the Roman Music Therapy folks to see if they will join the team and iron out the budget impact on their side as well. Wrapped up the Iron Maiden campaign with our 30 pledgers, with the winner being Darren Lourie. Made small updates to the pilot document outlining the program we want to launch with PACT. Finished itinerary for video shoot with EmVision.
I sometimes complain about the stagnation of my day job, but it does leave me enough time to make progress in many other areas, if I only take advantage of it. Super thankful to have capacity to work on Rawkstars projects and for having made good progress yesterday.
7/10/19: Kings X last night with Lisa. They are one of our faves and we have seen them several times over the years. Always a great time, we enjoyed ourselves and got a chance to get out on a Tuesday night. The crowd was a bit subdued for my liking (and the band’s I think) but still a fun night. Ran into a couple friends as always, including Joe Patten. An old sound guy friend of mine, he offered me some time at his studio to do some recording. Gonna keep that in my back pocket for Heavy Mellow next year. Love the idea of doing a ‘live’ acoustic recording in the studio. Grateful to have such awesome friends and resources, especially around music.
During the morning/afternoon, I finally kicked off a raffle for a Rawkstars prize to see Iron Maiden. My friend Peter, who is the stage manager at Great Woods, offered the experience a few years ago and we successfully raised about $1200. This time, I took the opportunity to launch the concept of a “Founding Member” campaign, to help us begin to talk about our transition to a membership based organization later this year. With all the meetings and work I’ve done around that, I haven’t communicated about it much publicly, and it was a cathartic experience to do so. I framed up the contest that we would be taking pledges, instead of donations, for folks willing to commit to the Founding Member campaign when it’s ready later this year. I limited the contest to 30 people, thinking that would get us 10% of the way to our minimum viable audience of 300, which is my goal by the end of 2020. Kinda surprisingly, I had 30 pledgers within a couple hours, from a single post. It really bolstered my energy for the idea and I am so grateful to have had that type of response. I got the initial idea from meeting with Jamie at OMG last week and it is giving me confidence about working more with her also. So thankful to be entrusted with these gifts from our supporters, my network of contacts and Peter, who offered the experience to begin with. Blessed indeed.
7/9/19: After 4 days of meds, my rash is nearly 100% cleared up! Kinda shocking to have experienced how quickly the symptoms kicked in and nearly as equally how they subsided once I started the treatment cycle. The human body is by far the most astounding thing ever and its ability to heal is vastly undervalued. I am insanely grateful for the availability of medicine and for my own body’s ability to be resilient.
Lisa and I ran the Monday Fun Run down in Raynham last night. I really needed to get some exercise and I was thrilled that she brought up the idea of running together. My time wasn’t great but I showed up and finished, and it felt great. Thankful again that my body is able to perform this task and that I have a wife who is able to motivate me to do better.
7/8/19: Long holiday weekend to celebrate the 4th. I had essentially 5 days out of the office and it was pretty eventful.
Starting on Thursday (4th of July) I developed a horrific rash. I noticed small red bumps on my chest and stomach when we were at the Bento’s pool yard to spend the afternoon. Not alarming at first, but as the day wore on they got worse. By the time we got home around 8pm, I was itchy as hell and the redness had spread to 80% of my torso. It was pretty awful and I spent that entire night in utter discomfort. I didn’t sleep a wink and it was like having a raging sunburn with poison ivy on top. By morning I was at wits end and headed straight to the urgent care. The nurse I saw attributed it to a spider bite, which made sense to me. A week or so prior, I had a bite on the back of my leg I couldn’t explain. She said she had seen others with similar condition and delayed reaction. I was prescribed Prednisone and Zyrtec. I drove to the pharmacy and swallowed 12 prednisone in the car. Over the next couple days the rash and itch slowly improved. I spent most of those two days poolside, sitting shirtless in the shade and jumping in the water to cool my skin every 20 minutes or so. Today is day 5 of the meds and my skin has mostly returned to normal. The rash spread to my legs and feet but my torso has nearly cleared and I slept almost normally last night for the first time in days. Overall, I’m grateful that I live someplace with such access to modern medicine and health care. I was able to find a clinic online that first night, drive there at 7:30am and be seen within 30 minutes by a qualified nurse. About 20 minutes after leaving, I had the prescription in my hands that turned things around for me pretty quickly. It’s pretty amazing actually and I am thankful to live someplace with such amazing medical services.
Over the ensuing days, I was really able to relax. I missed a big family party at Dorothy’s house, because I wasn’t really up for spending the day socializing while I was so very uncomfortable. Instead I went to the Bento’s poolyard by myself and did the no shirt/shade/pool routine for the afternoon, which helped me immensely. The next day I did the same, and brought Quincy along with a new friend he has named Isaiah. He seems like a nice kid and we enjoyed a low key day and brought home Town Spa pizza. Grateful for the time with Quincy, and with Lisa the day before. Also for my in-laws, who are always eager to share their pool and food with us anytime we want.
On Friday night, we visited with Chris Rollo, who was in town with his dad, staying at his brother’s place. I haven’t seen him in about 7 years. Last time was when I visited Florida the last time I saw my old man. Chris was always one of my best friends during the teenage years and he and Lisa dated throughout High School. We hung out at his brother’s place for a couple hours and Wabrek joined us as well. It was kinda a reunion of the band we had as kids, Blizzard, although Louie, our drummer couldn’t make the hangout. It was nice to catch up with Chris. He hasn’t changed much and was his same gregarious self. He was always an excellent guitar player and I wish we had a chance to hear him play music while we hung out. I didn’t feel myself due to the rash situation, so we didn’t stay super late. Still I was grateful to reconnect with old friends and enjoy a distraction from the discomfort of my weekend.
Yesterday, Sunday, I connected with Peter Homan down at Long Lake, where he is renting a cabin. Low key, but we talked lakeside for a couple hours and drank a few beers. We talked about kids, work and regular stuff and just enjoyed a couple hours outdoors. I left early enough to take a drive to Plymouth with both kids, which is increasingly rare. Unfortunately, Lisa had to work and couldn’t join. We got smoothies by the water and walked out along the jetty in the marina. It was a gorgeous day and we didn’t stay long, as the kids get antsy and wanted to get home. We finished up the weekend watching a couple episodes of the new Stranger Things season together, joined by Cam. Truly grateful for low key family times like that where we simply ‘are’.
7/3/19: Meeting with a new contact, Jamie, from OMG marketing. She is super smart and I really enjoyed my conversation with her. Ostensibly, I’d like to work with her on the Rawkstars 2.0 project. She has great ideas and I trust her experience and casual but professional vibe. We met for coffee at this great place called Nitro Cart in Newport, which rocked. She sent over a quote for their services and I am going to have to think hard about next steps. It would be a tremendous investment for us and I need to make 1000% certain it’s what I want to do. Either way, I am grateful for having crossed paths with Jamie and to be able to even consider the next steps.
Lisa took GiGi to the hospital yesterday to get her most recent tumor looked at. It wound up being a long day with more follow ups than planned. I’m not sure what direction all this is going. I know my Nana has cancer and I don’t think she wants treatment. She’s lived a long life of quiet dignity and I hope she is able to go out on her own terms. It’s a tough position for my mom, who is super close with her. I’m sure she wants to lengthen her life, but not sure that is the right thing in this specific case. I am quite grateful to have taken away many life lessons from Nana and even in this final phase, I’m still learning from her. I’m also grateful to have a compassionate, helpful wife, who can step in to assist with caring for the family in these ways.
7/5/19: 4th of July yesterday and spent the afternoon at the Bento pool with the kids. Cam joined as he and Bella are hanging out again. Beautiful day and it felt good to be outdoors and see the in-laws. They are great people and I’m thankful to have such a terrific extended family.
Developed a horrific rash of hives towards the end of the day and spent the worst night scratching, not sleeping and in complete agitation. My entire torso is a hideous red blotch and I can’t stop scratching. I went to urgent care super early today and got a prescription for Prednisone. I literally took 12 of them in the CVS parking lot before even driving home. The nurse said I probably had a spider bite that was infected, since she has seen a few others like this recently. I did have a bite on my thigh about 10 days back and didn’t think anything of it, other than it being itchy for a few days. We live next to the woods and there are often spiders in the house. I am truly grateful for my health. I don’t take it for granted and there is nothing worse than suffering at the hands of sickness. I’m also grateful to live in a society where help is available almost instantly and relatively cheap. I was able to get right into the urgent care facility and pickup the meds within an hour or so of leaving the house. I only hope the effects set in as quickly and that I start to improve.
7/2/19: Connected with Joe Merrick. I had a thought about using the booking I have at Spire Center to have Joe headline an event, and let Heavy Mellow open. That will give us a great gig to simply perform at, without me having to take on the burden personally of filling the room. Joe can make most of the proceeds from the night, have a release event for his new record and HM can play a great opening set to a full house at a nice venue. Win win. Grateful to have friends who trust me and want to partner on stuff like this. Also grateful to have decided on this course of action, to lessen the stress on myself to pull off another big event for Rawkstars. He also mentioned Dave D. playing drums, which will put it over the top if that comes together.
7/1/19: Had a productive day at home yesterday. Got my tire pressure gauge sorted out then got a sticker for the car. Filled up the propane tanks for the grill, ahead of Bella’s big shindig. Did the weekly shopping with Q, as Lisa had to work at Target. Made breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family. Weed whacked the entire street along the sidewalks. Completed Bella’s slideshow video. It felt good to cross off a bunch of things from my todo list and help the family with chores. Grateful that I can keep busy, be productive and do things for those I love selflessly.
6/30/19: Had a disagreement with Quincy yesterday. We have been talking a lot about a video and music project for Bella’s 18th/grad party which is coming up soon. After a few conversations back and forth, we are starting to put it together and our conversation degenerated into a negative place. I wound up basically telling him to make his own project and got frustrated with him overall. He withdrew super quickly, and went into his room and I went outside to cut the grass. After cooling off, I came right inside and we talked it out. I apologized and asked him to explain his side so I could better understand what I did to cause him angst. I didn’t argue or defend my positions, and just wanted to be a good listener. He appreciated that greatly and we had a nice conversation during which I learned about the ways in which I was to blame for the negative emotions he was feeling. I told him our relationship was the most important thing to me and that I was again sorry. We talked about not always getting along and being able to move past it by clearing the air and listening to each other in an effort to improve. We both said I love you and moved on feeling much better.
From there, he took point on a really cool project for Bella around recreating the open for ‘The Office’, one of our family favorite shows. I made good progress on the slideshow video of pics from Bella’s life. I am super grateful for such a creative, loving and insightful son, who clearly loves me back.
6/28/19: Went out to Providence last night with Lisa. Jen Preston was having some people over to her new place on the East Side. It’s gorgeous, of course, and a bunch of folks from the office were there. We had a couple beers on the porch, checked out the place and I introduced Lisa to all my friends and co-workers. We had some good laughs and it was nice connecting with those guys outside the office. I don’t do that enough for some reason and it gave me some perspective on how lucky I am to work at Hasbro with those guys. I often take my job for granted, despite trying to remind myself of the fact that I have it good over there. After a couple drinks, we walked over to Thayer Street and got falafel roll-ups from east side. Truly a treat. It was a beautiful night, not too hot and not cool. I love walking and seeing people. The homes in that area are so nice and it was also cool cruising that neighborhood on foot. Grateful for my job, the people I work with, being able to walk, enjoy casual/awesome food and for my wife.
Got a cool email from Mike Mooney yesterday. A few weeks back I had posted on FB about this prison project I was considering. Many people responded but not Mike. I didn’t take offense to it really, but after all this time he dropped me an email explaining himself. He basically outlined that he didn’t think inmates should ever be rewarded and that he didn’t want to say anything publicly about it on social media. I thanked him profusely for reaching out, because I was glad to have an open conversation about it, and that’s exactly what I was looking for when I posted it. I sent him a super long outline of why I was excited about it and that I didn’t see helping inmates have a better chance at becoming productive citizens once released a reward. I think it’s an obligation for society and leads to the betterment of all. The guys in the program are not violent, hardened criminals. They are guys not unlike us, who had a bad turn and were connected to the wrong people. Without going into too much detail, it was cool to have an open conversation and I told Mike I missed him. Feel like we haven’t connected much in a while and that our relationship has been in a lull, which I know happens with everyone. Grateful for cool people in my life and for reconnecting with an old buddy.
6/27/19: Met yesterday with a social media marketer named Jamie. I connected with her through linkedin and am hopeful to engage with her agency to help take Rawkstars 2.0 to the next level. We had a great conversation and I am always thankful to talk with like-minded people about the business and learn from them. She was insightful and I felt a strong energy from her side. She had her shit together knowledge-wise but was also casual in her approach, kinda like me. Thankful to have the chance to connect with her and excited about the potential partnership, if it’s affordable for us.
Got a decent little pay increase at my day job yesterday. My boss went to bat for me above and beyond what was expected. I’m not being promoted and hope for a continued upward trajectory moving forward, but it felt nice to be recognized and I’m grateful to be able to provide just a bit more financial support for my family.
6/26/19: Took off work yesterday for a series of errands. Got the car serviced, picked up my CAT-scan kit from the doctor, met John Baptista about the prison music program, worked on the proposal overview and got an estimate for the window replacement at PV. It was productive and nice to again be out of the office. As luck would have it, Bella was around later in the morning and we had breakfast together out on the deck. It was the first real chance we have had to connect since her breakup situation with Cam over the weekend. We talked about it though I made it clear I didn’t want to pressure her. She was pretty open and I tried to be a good listener and support her. She is such a mature person and is really in tune with what’s going on in her relationships. I encouraged her to hold her ground even though it will be tempting to fall back into habits. I was very grateful to have such an open conversation with her about something personal and felt really blessed to have had the time.
6/25/19: Went out to see Geoff Tate last night with friends (Lanzetta, Ed, Doug and Wayne). Show was fun, though the hang with the guys was better than the music. GT has some pipes left, but his band were amateurs. Solid players sure, but lacking the gig experience and chemistry that only comes with time. There were too many opening bands and I spent most of the pre-show at the side pub hanging and talking with Doug, Kevin DeLue and the other guys. Ed told us a crazy story about finding a long lost son via one of those DNA test sites. Kid is 35 and jut had his own son! Grateful for fun nights with my old friends and for seeing live music, even if the band weren’t top notch.
6/24/19: Finished assembling the pergola kit I bought a few weeks back. Did some yard cleanup in general and it’s looking better and better out there. Trying to keep the yard updated and looking good for the few months we have access to enjoy the outdoors here. Grateful that we have enough money to do projects like that and for the time outside working with my hands, which I don’t get often enough.
Heavy Mellow rehearsed yesterday for the first time in 6 weeks! I had been feeling rusty as heck and went probably 10 days without touching my bass. Went into the jam feeling a bit rushed nonetheless, since I was finishing the pergola project in the morning and just had enough time to shower and get the practice room ready before the guys showed up. We went through the setlist and it was AWESOME. It felt so good to play with them and everyone was well versed in the tunes. We tried the Foreigner song for the very first time and it sounded tight. The acoustic tunes continue to shine for me and our next one to add is going to be Sober, by Tool, which I think will sound great acoustically. I felt so good afterward and it really made me feel confident about the music and each other. Super thankful that we played and hopeful to get into a more regular cadence after having such a rocky schedule the last several weeks.
6/23/19: Went to celebrate Doug Kast’s 50th last night over Dave’s place. Fun crowd as usual and we got to see the Kast family and some friends. Doug is such a great guy and I admire him very much. He has a very zen like natural state and is very even keeled. He has a great family and their kids are all super nice and loving. I gave him a picture I took when we went to see Roger Waters. Not one of my best shots, but a personal one since we were at the show together and Floyd is probably his all time favorite band. I also baked a loaf of bread and brought it along. Q came along with us which was also super cool. He seemed to have fun and was pretty social, which made me happy. He’s a great kid and it’s nice to see him enjoy the company of others and fit right in.
We came home late and after going to bed, Bella came home from a party she was at. She went straight into her room and was super upset, crying and screaming aloud. Quincy went in to comfort her, which was so cool. He came downstairs and told Lisa that she wanted her to come upstairs. Q came down and hung with me and we listened to Bella wailing uncontrollably. It was hard to listen to, and Q and I talked about it. She and Cam have been having issues and she comes home upset, semi regularly. It’s a hard situation, since Cam is a pretty good guy and the family all really like him. That said, Bella is in her first relationship and shouldn’t be struggling to simply enjoy it this early on. The silver lining is that Lisa was there for her. I’m super grateful that both of the kids lean on her in times of need and that she is able to provide a stable, loving shoulder to be with.
6/22/19: Last night, we decided to head down to Fall River for some Portuguese food. Bella was out at a grad party and Q went roller skating with his crew. Lisa and I drove down to a place I found on Yelp. It had been pouring rain all day, but the sky finally broke and the sun started peeking out. As I got off the highway, the sunset was beautiful. While getting close to downtown, I noticed how amazing the sky looked over by the battleship and saw the new walking path by the waterfront. I decided to turn off and go check it out and Lisa agreed. We parked and walked along the boardwalk, which was absolutely awesome. There were only a few people outside, I suppose because it had been raining literally the whole day. The ship and bridge were covered with sun streaked sky and there were plenty of sailboats in the harbor. We walked, talked, held hands and I took a few pics of course. We spent maybe 45 minutes down there and once the sun was basically down, we went and found another restaurant, since the original spot we were headed had closed since. Our meal was decent, but hit the spot. Instead of the homestyle, family type spot we were headed to, the place we found was more upscale. Generally, that can be good, but with Portuguese food, we are looking for the lowbrow style. Big plates of flank steak, piles of fries and runny eggs with a ton of hot peppers and roasted garlic is the expectation. In any case, I was grateful to have stopped to experience the sunset with Lisa and for the dinner, even though it wasn’t what we set out to have. We are lucky enough to eat what we want, be healthy enough to enjoy each other and were mindful enough to stop and enjoy the momentary beauty of nature.
6/21/19: Found out today that Rawkstars is going to receive a grant from the Grace B Kerr Fund that my friend Dave Yuknat is on the board of! $15k, which is by far the largest check we have ever received. I surely mentioned having worked on it below in months past and I couldn’t be more grateful for the news. I’ve been having lots of challenges lately with the bank account going down and no fundraising activity in sight. I’ve been holding the line mostly, but also feeling anxiety about it inside. This helps a ton! I should be able to pay for some development cycles to build the back end of the website and hopefully have money left over to also hire a social media / seo person. I sent out some feelers on LinkedIn yesterday and got at least one reply back that I was semi-excited about. Aiming to connect with that person in the next week or so and see where it goes. Excited for the prospect of having someone on the staff that I can pay for their expertise in these areas and see some progress/growth on both of those fronts. Grateful for the trust and support my friend Dave showed in me by putting himself out there to advocate for us getting this money. I’m going to work to make him proud for doing so.
6/20/19: Attended the parent orientation at Assumption yesterday with Bella and Lisa. Mostly passive presentation type day at the school but I am excited for Bella. Each time we visit or have a new activity, her college experience becomes more ‘real’. She is ready to take on the world and kickstart the next phase of her life. I can sense her eagerness and it makes me happy to see her that way. She is staying overnight in the dorms to get her feet wet with living at the school.
6/19/19: Went to see the doctor yesterday. Like most, I put off going to see him too often. I’ve been fortunate to not have any major health issues and over the last few years, even my cycle of ‘normal’ sickness has been light. I have a semi-regular physical, but that’s about it. Anyhow, I’ve had some discomfort in my abdomen for a while and it manifests in different ways. I feel a pebble-like irritation that is dull but regular. Nothing jumped out and he indicated the area I am feeling this doesn’t have any organs or other bodies that might cause alarm. I’ll be going for some tests over the next couple weeks but he told me flat out he doesn’t expect to find anything. Going to the doctor can be a frustrating exercise as it generally doesn’t produce the clear results and answers we are seeking. I am grateful for my overall health status, even though I regularly complain and struggle with my weight and body image.
6/18/19: Last day of school for Q. He got high honors and nice commentary from all his teachers. He is such a bright kid and I am proud of him for applying himself more the last few years. Lisa had to work last night so I was home with both kids, which was a nice treat. Bella was watching reruns of Drake and Josh, a show she watched when she was little. She is so innocent that way and I am super thankful that she has retained her kid-like sense of humor.
Had some work completed at the Providence condo as well. Grateful we are able to keep the place in good shape and have such a great tenant living there. My friend Bill, has now worked on our home, Azalea and Willow Street. Very glad that I got introduced to him. He does great work, is reasonable on the price and is a super nice guy.
6/17/19. Father’s Day yesterday. It was relatively uneventful, and I spent most of the day at home. I worked on my proposal for the prison music pilot and feel pretty good about what I documented. I also took care of picking up tiles, and other supplies for the work we are having done on the Providence condo. I am grateful we have that property and such a good tenant. We have been fortunate with few issues there and getting some of these items cleaned up will make the property even nicer. I also went and bought a pergola kit for the backyard. I’ll work this week to put it together and I think it will really beautify the back yard. Quincy wrote me a nice note with some pics. He is such a sweet, loving kid and he has a way of touching me with his words. All of us, with Cam, went out for ice cream and clams after Lisa got home. Not a great meal, but it was nice to be together. I’m grateful for what fatherhood has brought. I sometimes find myself wishing we could move, or envisioning scenarios for life after the kids. That said, I would not change the path we took and Bella and Quincy are both such amazing people. It’s been a true pleasure and blessing to be their dad and to have them in our lives every single day.
6/16/19: On Saturday, we went to a graduation party for Kathy’s son. She has a beautiful home and neighborhood. She seems very happy with her new boyfriend Steve, who also seems like a great guy. In the aftermath of her husband Roan passing away at such a young age, things appear to be working out well for their family. Of course the Portagee family was in force and the accompanying drinking/eating and revelry. I overdid it, but also had a great time in the moment. We are so blessed to have such loving, fun people we can spend time with that are also our family.
6/15/19: Visited the Middlesex House of Corrections yesterday with Jack. As mentioned below, I was contacted a few weeks ago about the potential of spinning up a music program as part of a new PACT Unit that is being piloted by the prison. After a few emails and phone calls, we drove to the facility to meet everyone and see it first hand. It was an absolutely life changing experience. After going through a couple checkpoints, we were dropped off at the unit and greeted by the sheriff, who couldn’t have been nicer. He was super personable and thankful for our visit. He described the new unit and I could feel his positive energy about the program. He is actually on the verge of retirement and told us that after 33 years, it was the most amazing thing he had seen in the system. We then entered the unit and met the case worker Julie, who had originally contacted me, along with one other case worker and a few of the guards. Everyone was relaxed, personable and genuinely welcoming. There were a few inmates spread out and a few of them were brought over to give us a tour of the unit. It was a large rectangular shaped block with 100+ cells in two tiers on either side. The unit only houses 36 prisoners, as that is all the staff is able to supervise given the open concept of the unit. During the tour, we saw a workout area, library, meditation space, barbershop, laundry room and other makeshift spaces. We walked and talked with the inmate tour guides as well as the case workers. After a while, all the inmates came inside from rec time, and they were all gathered in a circular area with couches where they have daily meetings with the group to discuss any issues, and whatever the agenda of the day is. I was asked to address the group, which was unexpected but super welcome. I spoke about my own back story and the creation of Rawkstars. I felt totally comfortable and it was an honor to connect with this group of guys. I asked them about their music tastes and what they wanted to have for instruments, etc. The whole experience was super comfortable and inspirational. I am 1000% grateful for having had the opportunity to visit the facility and to connect so personally with the guys on the block. I left with a much better sense of what type of programming might suit the situation and look forward to the next several weeks to see where it might go.
Yesterday was also Q’s last day of middle school. I had the appointment above, Lisa and Bella both had to work. Cam went and watched Q get his certificate and participate in the proceedings. He brought him home afterward and hung out with Q, until I arrived at home a while later. Later on, I saw a card on Q’s bed from Cam and his family. I assume they gave him some money or a gift and I was moved by the gesture. Q really looks up to Cam and Cam treats him like a little brother. It really is super sweet and a great influence on Quincy. I am super grateful that he has that in his life and that Bella connected with such a thoughtful boyfriend.
6/13/19: Yesterday was kinda magical. I took the day off from work. I decided the night before that I was going to take my bike out and ride down the Providence/Bristol path. I didn’t start in Providence as I was worried I wouldn’t be able to ride that far, given my current fitness vibe. I started about halfway down, at a place called Haines Park. I drove there and saddled up, found the path entrance and started riding. My intention was to take a slow pace, and not worry about fitness or time or anything else. My goal was simply to take my time, enjoy the day and be mindful. I stopped a couple times to take quick pictures. Nothing fancy, just a few snaps without too much thought. The weather was absolutely perfect, about 77 degrees. Warm, with a very light breeze without being too hot. I smiled at everyone I passed, and most smiled back. The path itself is absolutely beautiful, lined with trees, shade, grassland, water views and amazing homes. It’s super flat and wasn’t too crowded, since it was a weekday. I made it down to Bristol, which is a super quaint downtown area. I explored on my bike and really enjoyed all the little things I saw. I stopped in the park, sat and breathed a little bit. I watched a mom play with her son and converse with him in Spanish. I saw older couples holding hands and some families with children. I texted Lisa, Bella and Q to tell them I was thinking of them. I responded to a few emails and felt generally awesome. I started to head back and at the entrance to the path there was a small restaurant with an outside patio. I noticed a woman sitting alone, drinking a glass of wine and just enjoying the day. I wondered why I was rushing to get back home and decided to pull over. I parked my bike, went into the restaurant and ordered a local lager and a shrimp salad. I ate slowly. An older couple took the seat next to me and soon began talking to me. They were super nice and we discussed travel and they described lots of road trips they had taken since retiring. After finishing my meal, I wished them a great day and headed back. I was starting to tire from the bike seat, but made it back fairly comfortably. The whole experience opened my heart and was as close to mindful as I have felt recently. Truly grateful for the reminder and hopeful to revisit regularly, both the mindful part as well as the bike path.
The Bruins lost in game 7 of the Cup Final last night. Somewhat disappointing, but they had a tremendous season and I got a ton of enjoyment from watching the playoff run.
6/12/19: Thankful that I got through yesterday without overeating. It’s been a real struggle lately. I’ve been falling into old habits and in general, not being mindful. I’m feeling the effects mentally and of course physically. Haven’t been able to turn a corner even though I’m having regular conversations with myself about how to do so. At least for 24 hours, I managed to restrain myself and breathe. For that I am grateful.
6/11/19: Presented to the larger team at Hasbro yesterday about Agile. My deck went over pretty well, I felt comfortable and spoke casually but with authority. I had a few folks reach out afterward and compliment me, including my boss and her boss. Hopeful to continue the momentum when I present to the ITLT soon and that it results in my getting resources for the team as well as a promotion/raise. Grateful for the opportunity to expand my work horizon and for the support of my colleagues.
6/10/19: Weekend update. Saturday, Lisa and I took Q down to PVDfest. Downtown Providence is basically closed off fora weekend carnival of music, food, art and people. It was really cool and we enjoyed amazing weather, while walking around for a couple hours. We saw various bands and street vendors selling cool stuff. We ate at a few food trucks and got some yummy tacos and kettle corn. Providence is such a great city and I’m glad we have discovered it over the last many years and live so close by, relatively speaking.
Yesterday I saw the Whisky Saints perform, which was nice also. I connected with Crissy, which I haven’t done outside of a few texts since Wicked Blue disbanded. I ran into Red and Vicky who I also haven’t seen in a while. Always good connecting with people I enjoy.
Bella, Cam and Q were all at the house during the afternoon which was a nice treat. I brought them Chinese back for dinner after the show. It’s really nice having them around and I am savoring these times.
Bruins tied the series last night 3-3 in a must win game. We’ll now be treated to a Stanley Cup game 7 in Boston on Wednesday night. After the game ended, news broke that David Ortiz was shot down in the DR at some night club. My heart sank as Papi transcends sports. He is a humanitarian and beacon of positive energy and a role model for many. This morning I checked online and found out that he is doing well and expected to make a full recovery. Grateful that he is on the mend and that the world will continue to benefit from his presence in it.
6/8/19: Took a yoga class with Lisa last night, taught by her friend Devyn. I had a rough go of it. My body and in particular my mobility has taken a downturn over the last year. My shoulders and much of my left side are increasingly stiff and sore. I was aching and slow and sore. I am grateful to be able to pay attention to my body, even if it’s sending me signals of distress. Moving is helpful and if I am going to be able to improve, yoga is a great avenue for doing so. Baby step.
We attended Cam’s graduation party last night, one of several we have in the next many weeks. He’s got a nice family and they are friendly and casual. They were all raving about Bella and how great they think she is. Our friend Matt Borrello was there playing music. He’s a really positive, upbeat kid and a really honest musician. I pressed Cam to get up and play, which he eventually did. Thankful that Bella has found another nice crowd of people to surround herself with.
6/7/19: Had some quality family time last night when all 4 of us were around. That’s increasingly rare. We chatted and Bella then took Q for ice cream, which they both adore.
Things at work have been a bit more stimulating lately. I’ve begun a project that’s taking me deeper into the Analytics group and working on some slides to present around the Agile practice I’m trying to develop. I also had lunch with Kevin Colman, who runs the philanthropy group here. He’s a great guy and we have connected several times over the years, and finally went to eat. We talked a lot about Rawkstars and our plans for 2.0. He seemed genuinely interested and supportive which continues to help me refine the concepts and get energy to keep going.
Confirmed a RS event/video project over at Rick’s Music for the summer. I’ve hired a director to produce 3 video assets for our re-launch, showcasing stories of the org and 2 of our students. Heavy Mellow will perform a short set and be surrounded with student performances and parent interviews. I think it will be a super productive and fun night, without the overhead of a typical live production for me.
Grateful for so many positive elements in my life.
6/5/19: Had a phone meeting with a woman from Middlesex House of Corrections. They are looking to setup a music room for inmates as part of a new program they are rolling out called PACT. It provides young males ages 18-23 an opportunity to access more programs and freedoms while incarcerated. They have privileges that other inmates don’t and the idea is to better prepare them to re-enter society. Rawkstars can certainly provide instruments easily enough, but I was thinking it would be much cooler to implement a program, with oversight, measurement and some combination of in-person and online lesson capabilities. Grateful for the opportunity to consider how this might work and to see if I can find the energy to be part of making it happen.
6/4/19: Quincy came home from Denver last night. Lisa picked him up super late, but he came out of his room this morning and we hugged. Really nice to have him back! I got him a speed Rubik’s cube while he was away and left it on his bed. He was showing me pictures of the gorge that he, Wyatt and Alyssa hiked. Can’t wait to hear all about it after work. I’m glad he overcame his homesickness and battled through adversity. I told him it was totally normal to feel that way when you leave home and he seemed to rally around that. Grateful that he got time with my father in law and everyone at the Bento’s.
Bruins lost last night and the cup is now tied at 2-2. I’m thankful to be watching the local hockey team into June and that we have a couple more games to see if they can close out the series with a win.
I ran the Raynham fun run last night and had a really good time. I finished in 34:53, which was < 11 minute miles. Felt good to get myself to the starting line and the run overall was smooth. Hung out with Jamie a bit, which is always cool as well. Grateful to be able to run and be out in the world being active.
6/3/19: Bella’s graduation was yesterday. It was filled with the typical pomp and circumstance that come along with these events and it took 2+ hours in a crowded gym to get through the festivities. Afterward, the crowd of 2,500+ spilled out in front of the school. It was a beautiful, picture perfect day and the energy was awesome with all the kids and parents radiating joy. We eventually found Bella in the masses and everyone hugged. The kids were all taking pics with each other and smiling from ear to ear. We ran into several families that have been part of Bella’s childhood. Sabrina, Karen, Marcus, Kearsten, Caitlin and many others. It was really sweet to see all of the kids and parents and remember all the great years Bella has had growing up with them.
Afterward, we met up with Cam and his folks and went to lunch down in Fall River. We had drinks and food at an outdoor deck in the cove. Again, the weather was tremendous and we enjoyed a few hours connecting with them. Grateful for all the positive years we have enjoyed during Bella’s school career. Looking forward to the next chapter and so happy to be her dad.
6/1/19: Visited Roger Williams Park last night with Lisa. We drove down for their ‘food truck friday’ summer series. It was fun! There were a bunch of random food trucks and we wound up getting a sandwich with fried chicken, hot sauce, honey, bleu cheese and pepperocinis. We walked around the park and found a nice quiet bench, grabbed a couple beers and ate. We explored the park a bit and it’s really beautiful. Will definitely return again for more photography and nature walks. Grateful for the nice weather, alone time with Lisa and of course the bounty of great food we’re exposed to.
5/31/19: Took Bella to see Waitress at PPAC last night. I bought her the tickets months ago for X-Mas and last night was finally the actual show. We headed down to Providence early to grab dinner. We went to Coal Fired Pizza and sat at the bar. It was really nice. We spent an hour or so having dinner, which was yummy, and chatting about life. It was a good environment for casual open conversation. I don’t get much 1:1 time with B and it was super enjoyable to connect. The show afterward was fun also. We sat in the front row and the production was well done. The music in particular was great as the band was integrated into the show pretty strongly, as compared with other plays I’ve seen.
Spoke briefly with Q from Denver. He called while we were having dinner so talking was kinda tough. Sounds like he is really enjoying himself out there. I miss having him at home but am also really happy for him to get the chance to have a new experience. Our kids are both amazing and I am so happy to have them in our lives every day.
5/30/19: Bella finished High School yesterday and had her senior prom! She looked absolutely amazing and I am really happy for her. She is such an amazing kid who I couldn’t be prouder of. I told Lisa she did a great job raising her and meant every word. It’s such an exciting time of change in her life, leaving all her old activities behind (band, drama, hs) along with long time friendships. I think part of her is embracing going in a fresh direction even though all those things mean a lot to her. It’s one of several qualities about her that I admire.
Q left with Vavo last night to head to Denver to visit Wyatt, Abi, Mikey and Alyssa. They had a long plane delay and he had to sit at the airport for like 5 hours. We texted and talked a few times and I am proud of how he handled it. I explained that stuff like that is going to always happen in life and you can deal with it in different ways. You can complain and let it stress you out, or you can embrace it and find ways to enjoy what’s happening. He totally understands this and I’m glad he was with Joe, who is a master at that concept. I know he will have a blast with his cousins and I’m happy he will get to see a beautiful part of the country. He also makes me very proud and is growing into a super cool, mature young man each day.
5/28/19: Memorial Day weekend. I spent the last 3 days staining the deck. I complained about it a lot and it took me quite a bit of time/energy. It came out nice and I am happy with the results and also proud of myself for tackling it. I’m not super handy and generally lazy when it comes to home improvement. Not sure why, but I’m grateful to have had the energy to do the job instead of hiring someone, which would have been much easier.
Lisa’s band played on Sunday and as usual, were awesome. I am happy to get to see her receive such positive attention. It’s well deserved and she fronts a powerhouse band that sets the standard for most in our area. A ton of people came out to the gig and the combination of the long weekend and perfect weather helped fuel a strong performance for them. I connected with a lot of cool people, including two folks I literally haven’t seen since High School.
Had a lot of time with the kids over the weekend. Friday night I stayed home while Lisa went out with her girlfriends. We had a backyard fire and Bella/Cam both joined Q and I, which was nice. We listened to music and hung outside talking. They also joined for dinner yesterday. Lisa was at Target so I cooked steaks for all the kids. We watched some Star Wars before and just lazily hung out. It was sweet having Bella around so much. This is her last few days of school, so I’m savoring the time together before summer hits full force.
Bruins took game #1 of the Cup Finals last night against St. Louis. They dominated the 2nd/3rd periods and really looked strong. Grateful to have meaningful Boston hockey going into June and excited to see if they can bring home another Cup.
Eating continues to be a downward trend for me lately. Lots of ice cream and other indulgences. Grateful for a new opportunity today to turn things around.
5/24/19: Yesterday I took Nana into Boston for an eye appointment. Not sure if I mentioned it here before, but she got diagnosed with cancer about 2 years back. It’s on her eye and manifests in a growth, which they slice off every 6 months or so. It’s spread to the other side of her face now. It’s not causing her any pain or discomfort and as I would have guessed, she is not getting any treatment for it. She is 97 and has lived an amazingly healthy life. I literally can’t recall a time when she was hospitalized, sick or had surgery outside of a routine cataract procedure probably 40 years ago. In any case, I drove her and my mom to the visit. It was uneventful but gave me a couple hours to spend with them and chat with my mom. It was nice and I enjoyed the time and break in my work routine. I am truly grateful for my Nana and the influence she has had on me and our whole family. I have tremendous respect for her simple, grateful, elegant way of living.
5/22/19: I don’t often write about work here, but yesterday was a pretty satisfying day. Had a few meetings that were engaging and got to talk at length with some folks that brought energy. I also have a window into a new project team that I might become part of, which is exciting. It’s been a while since I had much passion for anything at the office and was grateful to have a small burst of that feeling again. Looking to roll that into some positive momentum going forward.
Weather has also finally turned a corner. It’s been warm and relatively sunny. When you live in New England, the winter and fall run very long. As a result, everyone is desperate for sunshine as spring comes around. Early spring can generally be rainy and cool still, but offers a glimpse into what’s to come on occasion and recently, we have had some of those days.
5/21/19: Got my 100 pushups in yesterday for the first time in about a week. I’ve continued to get some sets in, just not finishing the full 100 lately. It felt good to reset yesterday after another weekend of poor eating/drinking.
I played catch with Quincy last night and it was really awesome. We played over the weekend briefly, with Jacob. He didn’t want to share time with Jacob and asked if we could play ourselves. I totally understood but also told him how rude it would be to exclude Jacob, who is outside playing ball by himself many nights. I am grateful that Q wants to throw the ball around but even more so that he values time together with me. When we are 1:1 we often have our best interactions and conversations. He thrives more in this personal space and I’m truly thankful for his friendship.
5/20/19: On Saturday night Lisa and I attended GrownAss Prom for the 3rd year. It was a blast, as always. My friend from work, Ecem, joined us as we had an extra ticket. She also dug it and we danced our asses off all night. Grateful that I have come to enjoy dancing, as I wouldn’t have participated in such an event when I was younger. I was thankful that Lisa and Ecem got to meet. She and I have been friends for a couple years and it was nice to have those world’s connect.
5/18/19:
The portal is only open for a few moments at a time.
The perfect show, the perfect timing, the perfect chemistry, playing the perfect songs in the perfect way and at the perfect moment, the portal opens.
We want it to last longer but we know it won’t. We try to manufacture it but we can’t.
It’s there and then it’s gone.
We engage with the music, and also for the longing of that moment. We love both parts equally.
We long to be in the portal. For just one more moment.
You can search for it. It can find you. But we know it’s there. So we keep going.
Last night I was in the portal.
I went to see some friends I’ve known for 32+ years play music that I love. Before, during and after the show, I connected with friends I’ve known for equally as long. For a few hours before and during the show, we engaged with each other. Connecting the way you do with someone that has seen what you’ve seen. Been where you’ve been. Felt, what you’ve felt.
Music is a brotherhood. Most especially, heavy metal music. Its enthusiasts quite literally wear their hearts on their sleeve. And their t-shirts, jackets, guitar cases and book covers. We fly the flags of the music we love because we are proud. Proud in the knowing that we aren’t alone. That we are part of something bigger than any of us.
In the late 80s and early 90s, Boston had a flourishing metal scene. Music ruled our hearts, guided our lives and fueled our dreams. Bands like Wargasm, Meliah Rage, Steel Assassin, Seka, 6L6, Formicide, Only Living Witness, Wrecking Crew, Temporary Insanity, Quick Fever, Subjugator, Gang Green, Slaughter Shack, Stompbox, Only Living Witness, Slapshot, Sam Black Church and tons more ruled the scene. And it was a scene.
Every weekend we would gather. In person. Together. For music. At Bunratty’s, The Channel, Narcissus, Celebrations, The Rat, The Middle East, The Paradise, Bill’s Bar, Axis, wherever would have us. Wearing our colors, we would sweat, laugh, sing, head bang, dance, talk, worship, drink beer and perform together. For and with each other.
We didn’t do it for ‘likes’ or to separate ourselves from one another or to demonstrate how much better our lives were than anyone else’s. We did it for the love of OUR scene and OUR music. Metal.
Last night, well into our late 40’s and 50’s, we did it again. Way less hair, more body fat, faded tattoos. Same vibe.
Eternally grateful to have grown up in such a magical time and to still call so damn many of those bastards my brother.
5/17/19: Most of us have a date or event in our lives that is such a huge turning point that we naturally think of ourselves in terms of “before and after”. 5/16/2010 is one of mine. I was walking from South Station to my office at Digitas and I passed a glass front building and watched my reflection for a solid 5 seconds. I had done so hundreds of times, but for some reason I was struck in a powerfully negative way about how I looked. I was uncomfortable, unhappy and obese. For some reason, this realization shook me in a way I hadn’t felt before. It felt different even though I had considered these facts millions of times before. I weighed roughly 350 pounds and had been in that ballpark for several years. Later that morning, news came that Ronnie James Dio had passed away. He had been diagnosed with stomach cancer and I always knew he was older than most rock singers, but fuck. He was Dio! About a month prior, Pete Steele, another singer I admired, had also died unexpectedly at a very young age. His death, pushed beyond the tipping point by Dio’s passing became a catalyst for me. I decided then and there that I was going to improve my health. I didn’t make any declarations about reaching a specific weight or how I was going to do it, but I also didn’t wait for tomorrow or next Monday, as would have been my usual approach. That very day I started doing little things, like drinking black coffee, taking the stairs and other lifestyle tweaks that eventually became life habits. Now that I’m thinking back, I also wrote what might have been my first attempt at a blog post. I remember being compelled to put my feelings about Dio into words and share them with others. It felt cathartic, creative and personal all at the same time. Nine years later, I can honestly say that was probably the biggest turning point in my entire life, along with meeting and marrying Lisa and becoming a dad to Bella and Quincy. I’m truly grateful for the change in trajectory that my life took that day and the tremendous joy Dio, the musician, continues to bring to me through his songs, voice and grace. Sometimes great beauty emerges from unlikely circumstances. Like a rainbow in the dark.
5/16/19: Yesterday had a strong positive vibe. I had some great meetings at work that energized me. Met with the ecommerce team and left with a solid feeling that it might present an opportunity for me to deepen my engagement with that group. I’ve been looking for a specific team to extend agile services with and they might be the right candidate for what I’m proposing. My boss also gave me a heads up that she may have uncovered a way to adjust my salary, a I’ve been advocating for. I also had coffee with my friend Aaron. We enjoyed coffee together and ran into a handful of Hasbro peeps at Seven Stars. Grateful for all the human interaction I had and some good conversations.
5/15/19: Derek Sivers, Ryan Holliday, Mark Manson, Zat Rana, Seth Godin, Bernadette Jiwa, Cathy Heller, Gabe Anderson, Leo Babauta, Timber Hawkeye, Noah Rasheta, Michael Pollan. These are writers and thinkers that I read/listen to almost daily. During my commute I listen to podcasts and I subscribe to most of their blogs, plus medium articles. Each of these folks has really influenced me in the last few years and taught me a ton. Their lessons on life, buddhism, marketing, business and inspiration continue to educate and help me continue to evolve and learn. Super thankful for their presence in my life and for living in an era when so much valuable content is available at my fingertips.
5/14/19: Watched a Ted talk from a woman who discussed her weight loss journey of losing 130 lbs. I’m always interested in learning from others who have walked the path I’ve been on since day 1. She talked about the concept of ‘just don’t binge today’, which I learned when I briefly attended some Overeaters Anonymous meetings several years back. I think it’s a very effective message and I was able to use it last night to keep myself in check after dinner. Grateful that I heard the message and listened to it mindfully.
5/13/19: Had ‘the fam’ over yesterday for Mom’s Day. Went about as expected, though Bella wasn’t able to join since she had to cover a shift at work. I am grateful for the mom’s in my life, Lisa, Nana and of course my mom. They have each had a tremendous impact on making me who I am, in very different ways. I made breakfast for everyone and I’m always thankful for great food.
I helped Bella with a scholarship application that Hasbro offers. It’s going in the mail today and we’ll cross our fingers she gets it. It will significantly help with her tuition and I’m thankful to work at a company that offers such possibilities.
Arch/Matheos released their second record over the weekend and of course, I dig it. I’m always grateful for new music and it makes it slightly more special when I get something so anticipated from people I’m fortunate enough to call friends.
5/12/19: Took Lisa out to see Whitesnake for Mother’s Day. We had a good time and she seemed to enjoy it. The band were solid, though Coverdale is far past his prime as a singer. He still looks good, but can’t bring the smooth, soulful vocals the way he once could. The venue was large and I was pretty shocked by the size of the crowd. They also stood for the entire show, which is always nice to see at a seated venue. I’m grateful we got a chance to see rock royalty as there are fewer of those guys around nowadays.
George and Dee also visited yesterday afternoon as they are here from Florida. They’re a nice couple and we’ve gotten to know them pretty well over the last several years. It’s ironic that once my dad passed away, we became much closer with his brothers than we ever were when he was alive. We had a nice afternoon and I grilled steaks outside. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and we were able to sit under the sun on the patio for a few hours. Grateful for good food, extended family and beautiful weather. Noting fancy became a great day.
5/11/19: Broke out the new lawnmower and spent the day working in the yard. It looks great and I was so satisfied to have done the lawn. It had become so overgrown that it took me 3x longer than usual. I had to keep going over the areas just to cut down the length. I took my time and enjoyed all of it. I started the trimmer afterward and went around all the dingy areas of the yard and cleaned them up. A bit of weed killer on the patio and things looked terrific. Spring is a great time for the yard since the summer hasn’t yet scorched the grass and everything is super green from all the rain we’ve had. I’m genuinely thankful for the simple pleasure of a nice yard to spend time in. I sat afterward and watched the birds out back. At night, we had a fire, along with music. Another simple pleasure I am grateful for.
5/10/19: Took a ride with Q last night to pickup a used lawnmower I found on craigslist. We stopped at 5 guys on the way back and I got him a burger. Was nice to take a little drive and talk for a while. Grateful he’s still into spending time together with his dad.
I also bought tickets to take Lisa to see Whitesnake this weekend for Mother’s Day. I kinda screwed up waiting for great seats to become available. Typically, I like to sit right up front at gigs. When it’s standing room it’s never an issue as I have a knack for making my way up front. At seated shows, I’m usually willing to pony up or get tickets early enough to make it happen. Since becoming more budget conscious lately, I was hopeful that resale seats would open up as the show got closer, but it really dried up. I might have just punted on going altogether but I really want to do something fun for Lisa, besides just taking her to dinner or whatever. She’s never seen WS and I think it will be fun. Anyways, I bought some tickets toward the back of the room and I’m sure she will enjoy it nonetheless. Thankful that we have so much overlap on bands that we dig together and that we are still able to enjoy each other as a couple.
5/9/19: Band rehearsal last night. Jim couldn’t make it as he came down sick, but the rest of us connected. We worked on the new song(s) and it sounded decent. It was productive, despite not having the full compliment. We discussed new rehearsal dates but really struggled to get much on the calendar for the next several weeks. It seems like we are going to be in a bit of a dead zone and I left feeling a bit frustrated about that. After letting it settle in, I realized that it’s bound to be the case. Everyone besides me has other band obligations. I asked each of these guys to participate knowing full well they had other commitments. Part of the trade off playing with such seasoned guys is that our project can’t take precedence. I realized that even if the progress is slower than I’d like, I am happy to be part of the unit and grateful for whatever time we do get to play together. I’ll have to temper my excitement for now, armed with the knowledge that there will also be times down the road when the calendars open up and we get a better share of time together.
5/8/19: My co-worker Vicky told me a story about her daughter, Liz, who is super musical. She is in college and graduating this month, to go on and pursue a graduate degree. She plays bass, among other instruments and I met her when we visited Westfield state as part of Bella’s college tour. In any case, she wrote several pieces of music and had them performed as part of her finals. Vicky was so animated telling me about each piece and the stories behind them all. Very personal and touching. She got an offer for a really cool opportunity she is going to pursue and it was so nice to hear about someone who is seeing her dreams and goals unfold before her very eyes. She told me all this while we took a walk around the park and I was really grateful for the simplicity of walking on a nice warm afternoon and seeing the joy in the eyes of a mom talking pridefully about her daughter.
5/7/19: Yesterday was one of those days when it’s easy to be grateful and see the beauty in everyday life. The weather was sunny for the first time in weeks and simply being outside felt great.
I left work early and went for a run when I got home. It was the first run for the Colonial Running Club and though I wasn’t able to run with the group, I drove to the parking lot and ran the exact course. My run was comfortable and it felt good to get myself out there. It was a nice reminder to be thankful for my body. I spend a lot of energy regretting how poorly I’ve cared for it over the years and focusing on its limitations. That said, the fact that I can get out there and run a 5k and feel good is not trivial and I embraced it.
After the run I met up with Donna and Cidalia for a little Rawkstars update. I haven’t connected with either of them in a while and I had been feeling badly about it. They have both helped RS a lot over the years and I wanted to loop them in on all the activity and direction for RS 2.0. It felt good to connect with them and to again be able to articulate the concepts to new people. Each time I do that it gets more clarity for me and I am thankful for the process.
I took off from that meeting and stopped at Bella’s last symphonic band performance at the high school. She has put so much of herself into the band program, I wanted to be able to support her in return. I texted her when I arrived and though I was a bit late, made it in plenty of time to catch her performance. She texted me back ‘I love you so much”, which made me feel amazing. The band were good as usual. I got to catch up with Jamie as well, who I always see at the school events.
Got home late, made a quick dinner and watched the Bruins game 6 on DVR. They won and moved on to the final four and will play Carolina starting Friday.
5/6/19: Lisa’s gig got rained out yesterday. We wound up basically being home all day, as has been the case a lot this super rainy spring. There was a Star Wars marathon on tv, so I watched a lot of that with Quincy. I’m grateful for the time we have together, even when it’s doing something mundane. We connect a lot around SW, which is something we both enjoy.
Lisa spent some time with Bella in her bedroom consoling her. I didn’t talk with her first hand, but she told me that Bella and Cam have been fighting a lot lately. I’ve seen a bit of this from afar, but Bella is pretty quiet about such things and generally plays it close to the vest emotionally. I’m thankful that Lisa had some time to chat with her and just be her mom. I’m sure she gave good advice and that it will help Bella in the long run. She is such a great kid and Lisa is a great mother to her, especially when it comes to listening.
Since it was Cinco De Mayo, Lisa also made homemade salsa, guacamole and ‘street corn’. She is such a good cook and makes everything with love. Even though it led to another afternoon of overindulging for me, I was grateful for the delicious, fresh food in our life. Now if only I could consume it with gratitude instead of gluttony 😉
5/5/19: Lisa traded some massage treatments to a friend from her gym for private yoga sessions. We took our first one yesterday and it was really great. I have done yoga a fair amount over the years with various teachers, but haven’t taken a class in about a year. The woman, Devin, who taught us was really nice and her technique was amazing. It felt nice to get some deep stretches in and was a good reminder of how much it helps me. Grateful for the perspective and for the chance to connect with my body, which isn’t always a friendly touchpoint for me.
Lisa’s gig was rained out today and we are spending it at home lazily. I learned the two new songs for the HM rehearsal and am thankful that I continue to make small bits of progress with my bass playing.
5/3/19: I realized that I have never really written about sex here in this space. Over the years, like most people, I’ve had stretches with amazing sex and others where it waned. Lately, it’s generally been the latter, although in the last few weeks that is turning around. I am blessed to have an awesome partner and Lisa and I still very much enjoy each other, even after all these years. She keeps herself in amazing shape and I am grateful to have a wife who takes such good care of me and herself.
Managed to get my 100 pushups in, after 2 days of staggering and half-hearted effort. Bs won game 5 to tie the 2nd round series with CBJ at 2 games each, even though they didn’t play very well.
5/2/19: An old friend, Shauna Spillberg was in town yesterday from Florida. She is the sister of two of my oldest music brothers, Rich and Barry. Shauna is an equally awesome person and I am fortunate to know the whole family. Anyways, we play scrabble together online semi-regularly and she mentioned to me that she would be in town. I had plans to go see Uli Roth (more on that below 🙂 but she said she would be going to see another old buddy, Chris Gallivan, perform at a local bar where he plays piano. I got home from work and asked Lisa if she wanted to make a stop with me at the bar, which she did. We grabbed a quick bite, saw Chris play some music and connected, albeit briefly, with Shauna. Grateful to have cool people in my life that I’ve known for decades and still enjoy connecting with. Also thankful I made the effort to get out and see them instead of just mailing it in, as would have been easy with a built in excuse going to the concert.
Uli Roth. WOW. Was one of those religious musical experiences that I will never, ever forget. Met up with Barry, Wayne, Wabrek, Kevin Curran and Zeus’ brother Mario. We went to a pub before the show and had a couple drinks. I had two very large glasses of tequila and left quite buzzed. Since Wayne was with us we then smoke a big joint. We headed into the show and I had such a warm glow, not only from the intoxicants, but from being with my friends and the anticipation of seeing Uli.
I saw him once before and was supposed to go to the gig with Lisa. Her band is gigging this coming weekend and this was her last rehearsal, so she sadly could not come. I was bummed for her because I know she is one of the short list of people that actually understands Uli’s greatness. She knows all the old Scorpions stuff and it resonates with her deeply.
I had tickets in the front row and sat in absolute awe and joy watching and listening to him play. The venue was this fabulous new church in downtown Plymouth, which I really dug. As expected, I was thinking about how to get myself a gig there. It’s an awesome space and we’ll see if I can make that happen.
I can say without exaggeration that nights like that bring unending joy and happiness to me. It was such a perfect chemistry of sensations and filled with joy, love, and intense pleasure. Beyond grateful for music, old friends and the feeling they bring me when they are mixed exactly right together.
5/1/19: Had lunch yesterday with old friend Dave Yuknat. We reconnected after meeting a few months back. He gave me some feedback on the project outline I have been working on for Rawkstars 2.0. He said he is working on getting us approved for some funding through his family foundation. It’s an exciting prospect and even if that doesn’t work out (though I hope it will!) it’s been a good learning experience for me and I’ve enjoyed reconnecting with Dave on a personal level. He’s a good family man and a lifelong musician. He told me that he recently had an immersive studio experience with his band and I could feel the happiness emanating from him as he talked. Been a while for me since I’ve gotten the studio bug and it stirred me a bit. Would love to put something deeper together. I think when HM gets tight enough, we’ll do a project together to feed the recording beast.
4/30/19: Got myself motivated to run yesterday. As mentioned below, I had a rough weekend on the eating/drinking front and hadn’t been feeling good about myself. Got through my pushup/squat routine during the day at work and as I drove home, I decided I would try an outside run. Next Monday, the Raynham fun run series kicks off and so I want to be in a pattern of Monday running after work. I’ve gotten out a couple times in the last month, and was grateful to continue some momentum there. I’m a bit sore today but grateful that I had the fortitude to make that decision and follow through.
I also started listening to Buddhism talks by Thich Nhat Hanh. I have read a couple of his books and find his words extremely resonant. Listening to him speak has been really cool. I feel like I’ve had some improved clarity the last few weeks in terms of being ‘present’. As evidenced by this scroll, I do try and pay attention and remain mindful. That said, we all go through ups/downs in our emotions and moods. For a while I have felt “stuck” and not really understanding why. In the last week or so, I’ve been able to see with more clarity and embrace the million little things in my life that are simple, yet beautiful.
4/29/19: On Sunday, we attended Bella’s final THS drama club event. It was a talent show, as opposed to a typical production, and Bella only performed as part of the ensemble. I’m grateful for all the years that she has poured into the club. It definitely helped teach her hard work, self-confidence, dealing with rejection and a ton of other life skills. She developed a ton of friendships through participating. I’m really proud of her and have enjoyed many of the performances over the years that helped shape our family.
Lisa and I also attended a fundraiser for Rawkstars, that was put together by my old friend, Greg Alonge. He had bands play over 2 days and collected $1,150 for the cause. I am so fucking humbled by his actions and all the generosity shown by people who never even heard of us. Besides running into a bunch of cool people at the gig (Joanie Lindstrom, Barry & Sue, Greg Dellaria, Steve Nelson, Chip and Roxanne, Darren Lourie and others), I was approached by the bartender, who I didn’t really recognize. Turns out he remembered me from my days mixing at Deringers and said a bunch of super flattering things about how that time in his life meant so much. He slipped me a $100 bill, which was so heartfelt and touching to me. Someone also randomly brought and donated a guitar.
One of the bands that performed is an Iron Maiden tribute called Maiden New England. I saw them last year at Glen Rice’s annual BBQ. They are a terrific band and do the music justice. Their singer is absolutely amazing. She has great pipes, but what separates her is her visible passion for the music. She wears her heart on her sleeve and performs with such joy others cannot help but be moved by her. It’s so refreshing and inspiring to see someone like that and I am super grateful to have crossed paths with them on a few occasions now.
I had (another) rough weekend of food and am grateful for the chance to return to mindful consumption today.
4/28/19: Yesterday I met a BU college student named Amanda for coffee. I think I mentioned her below, but she reached out to me a month or so ago, about a potential internship for the summer. She is a music education major and had a really great resume and background. We got to know each other a bit and it was really nice to connect with someone young, smart and idealistic about the future of music education. She had some great ideas and I’m hopeful we may work together on a project someday through Rawkstars. I think it would benefit our program and kids greatly.
I did some other errands and small tasks around the house, and generally took it easy. Lisa made a great asian stir-fry for dinner, which I was truly grateful for. We hung out and watched the B’s, who lost in double OT. I did pushups/squats for every goal, which was great. However, I ate just about everything in the cabinet in between. Struggling the last few weekends managing my food intake. I’m solid during the workdays, but having a hard time keeping it under wraps Fri/Sat/Sun. Thankful for a new crack at it today.
Quincy went to the Avengers movie again, and took his friend Delce. He has been friends with her for several years and has always had a bit of a crush on her. Now that he is a teen, those feelings are surfacing more for him. She is a really sweet girl and I was happy to see him connect with her. Bella and Cam picked him up and took him for ice cream. Makes me really happy to see the kids bond together as they get older. Grateful.
4/27/19: Took the day off yesterday and took Q to see Avengers, End Game. Until recently, he hadn’t been much into the superhero movies. He was excited for this one, so I bowed out of seeing it at work, pulled him out of school early and took him instead. We had fun connecting and he really enjoyed the movie. We ate popcorn and then talked about everything afterward. Thankful for time with my son and that we can bond over stuff like this.
Heavy Mellow rehearsed last night on a Friday evening for the first time. It was a productive session and we continue to get a tiny bit better each practice. It was also nice to hang a bit afterward and have a couple beers. We listened to some music and I proposed a couple new tracks, which everyone seemed to dig. I know I’ve said it a dozen times in this space but I continue to be thankful for having such musically talented friends who drag me along with them. I realize that I’m in a unique place to be able to play with musicians who are so far ahead of me. I don’t take it for granted and enjoy every minute of it.
4/26/19: B’s took game 1 against CBJ in OT. Exciting win and they played a strong all around game. Saddling up for what will surely be some exciting nights of hockey watching. Thankful to be able to enjoy these.
Had some family time yesterday as all 4 of us were home together for a few hours. Grateful for these moments as they are becoming increasingly rare. It’s a new phase of parenthood with lots of adjustments for all of us. We are fortunate to have a strong relationship with both kids, even if Bella is disconnecting as she moves towards independence. I know she still enjoys the dynamic of being with us and I’m so proud of how mature both the kids are.
4/25/19: Yesterday I was able to work at home. Things have been light at the office lately on the meeting/project side so I’ve been taking the opportunity to stay home occasionally. It was a really nice, sunny day. The type that happens in early spring when it’s been crummy out for months and suddenly it’s 65 degrees and feels like 80. Last weekend I got our backyard cleaned up a bit and reset my bird feeders. I got so much enjoyment from them the last few years and wound up sitting outside for some time just watching them come and go. I like feeding them and feeling like I am helping to take care of them, even thought they would do just fine without me.
I also got officially started with my first property management company, to manage my tenants at Azalea. I feel good about making this investment and the long term potential of having someone else take care of the property. Grateful that we made it 7+ years without any major incidents with the properties and reached this point.
I had an email/phone tag situation with a young mom looking for guitar lessons for her daughter. I don’t have all the details yet, but she was referred by my friend Jen Preston. I also got email applications out to two other students, Kyle and Veronica. I’ve met both of them already and am so very thankful that Rawkstars is able to help them in their musical journey.
Hiked with Quincy, after a little argument we had. It was nothing really, but suffice to say we had some tension between us which we resolved quickly, mostly due to his maturity level. So proud of that kid and grateful to have such a good relationship with him.
4/24/19: I tried to reboot a meeting series at work called ‘Ted Tuesday’. Each month, we gather for an informal brown-bag lunch session and watch a Ted Talk, chosen by that month’s volunteer. It’s a cool way to connect with colleagues, build camaraderie between teams and learn something new. We had this running a few years back but it fell off. I was a little disappointed by the turnout initially, as I had sent out perhaps 20 invites and we only had 4 others join. The meeting wound up being right after the company earnings call, which certainly killed attendance. That said, the 5 of us who came really enjoyed it. I showed a video of this black gentleman who told his story about his friendship with the Grand Dragon of the KKK. It’s a story of empathy and compassion, that really moved me when I first watched it. I’m grateful that I could share that story with a few friends and that I wasn’t too disappointed by the low turnout. Not worrying about reaching a high volume of people is something I’ve been trying to work on. I’ve had a long history of putting together large, successful events and attracting lots of attention from people. I want to learn to live more simply and be ok with not needing to have such a wide audience to make myself feel worthy.
Last night, the Bruins also won game 7 against Toronto, for the 3rd time in the last few years. Always enjoy playoff hockey, even more so when the B’s are on the winning end. They didn’t play all that well in the series, but won anyways. That is a good trait for a team trying to run the gauntlet of winning the cup. Thankful for yet another great experience watching local sports.
4/23/19: After 4 weeks of the 100 pushup challenge, I started to add squats yesterday. I’m working to ingrain these as daily habits and so far, have been pretty successful. In the 4 weeks since I began the pushups, I missed perhaps 3 days. Rather than let those missed days rule my emotions and lose momentum, I’ve been able to get passed the feeling of failure and see the next day as an opportunity to keep going. So now, I’m going to aim for 100 pushups and 100 squats. I’ll do them in sets of 25.
4/22/19: On Friday, I hiked in the park with Quincy. Warmish weather, and it was great to be outside. As usual, we had a deep conversation and I’m always thankful for those times with Q. Evening was super rainy and Lisa and I had a lazy night. Watched a lot of TV and had a couple drinks. Glad to be able to enjoy downtime with my wife and the simple approach of just hanging out.
I managed to get a tiny bit of yard time on Saturday afternoon, before the rain. I got some of the patio cleaned and setup. I also put out my bird feeders and bought some seed. I get a lot of enjoyment from watching the birds and helping to feed them. It felt good to get that back up and running after a long winter. Our yard/lawn/patio needs a lot of TLC and although I didn’t get much done, it was satisfying to at least get a start on that process.
Saturday afternoon, I ran 5k with Lisa over at the gym. She is on the spring bootcamp and that usually results in me having a few spill-over workouts with her, which is a nice offshoot. I struggled to finish the run, but was proud of myself for doing so. I started a bit too fast and had to dial it back, which has happened to me the last couple times out. Grateful that my wife pushes herself so much physically and that I can get a bit of momentum from her progress. Also thankful that at 48 and during a slight downturn in eating, I can still manage to get in a solid run. A younger version of myself would never have been able to accomplish that.
Saturday night we headed to my mom’s for Passover. Cam joined us. As expected, there was plenty of angst and ill-will undercutting the event. It was nice having Cam along to meet everyone and my mom’s friend’s Frank and Lynn also joined. They are a nice couple and add some levity to the tense dynamic that exists when it’s just ‘the fam’. Seeing my grandmother is always something I can look forward to. She is 98 and an amazing person.
Yesterday, we spent Easter at the Bento’s. Great food of course, and Cam joined us for that as well. The crowd has shrunk over there since Mikey has moved away, but we still enjoyed the company. The Bruins played and managed to force a game 7 against Toronto despite the fact they haven’t played well in the series. I always like getting to spend some time with my brother in law, Rob. He’s a great guy and I always felt we were pretty like-minded. His boys Logan and Caden have grown up so much and I’m thankful for all the kids in the family being smart, happy and healthy.
Overall, my eating was poor throughout the weekend. It’s semi-predictable when we have parties and holidays to attend. I didn’t do a good job of managing myself. Grateful for the chance to awaken today and return to a patter of mindful consumption.
4/19/19: Saw Rival Sons last night. Met up with Louie, which was awesome. We also connected with my co-worker and friend Matt Orsi, who brought his college roommate. We grabbed Pho in Chinatown before the show and had some free and easy conversation and of course great noodles. Jon Lanzetta, Tina and Steve Watson were seeing Get the Led Out across the street and they stopped into the restaurant to say hi. The show was killer and it was the first time seeing the band for me. I took Louie right up front and then brought Matt and Dan forward. I like helping people get to the front of the stage, which is my natural spot 😉
Great energy and music all around. After the show, I spotted Lanzetta and his crew exiting the other gig and ran across to chat with them. While we were talking, Chip and his concert crew walked by and of course, they were also in the show, though I hadn’t seen them inside. They joined us a bit and then I ran into Matt McLaughlin and his family, who also were in the Zeppelin show. Always nice running into old friends and being a bit social. Truly grateful for how much music brings into my life, in so many ways.
4/18/19: My co-worker Vicky came back to the office after a couple days off. She told me that she and her husband took a few days off together and stayed local. Dinner, drives, hotel, just being together and away from the house and kids. She said it was a good reminder ‘that they actually enjoy each other’. Thinking Lisa and I can use one of those. We do that from time to time and it is a good reminder of the enjoyment from just being a couple. Thankful to have a wife that I do enjoy spending time with and will look to plan a brief couple overnight escape soon.
I worked at home yesterday as well, since my meeting slate was non-existent. During lunch, I took Q out of his room and we hiked through the park. Sun was shining and there were a lot of folks outdoors. I always enjoy that time of year when people in New England start emerging from their winter cocoon. Something so simple as the sun shining has such a huge effect on the mood and joyful nature of people. We had a pretty decent hike and talked a lot while we did, as is usually the case. Grateful for time with my awesome son and for the simple pleasure of the other awesome sun.
4/17/19: Yesterday, I was looking back at my earlier blog posts here in an attempt to figure out when exactly I had started the pushup habit I’ve been working on. I figured out the start date was 3/23. For some reason, dates, numbers and milestones are part of my DNA and I feel a need to keep track of stuff like that. In any case, I realized that I have really never gone back and used this journal as a place to learn about myself retroactively. Meaning, I’ve never re-read earlier entries to see what I was doing or feeling at any given point.
I wound up going back to the beginning and reading the entire history and it was kinda cool. It reminded me of all the things that I’ve captured here and a lot of memories of gratitude. In typical fashion, it also made me think of a ton of things I never did write about, for whatever reason. I didn’t start this as an attempt to journal about every detail of my life, so by definition, a ton of things simply aren’t captured.
I’m super thankful that I have been able to develop this habit and that I am also learning from it. There are patterns of highs and lows, when it comes to health and consumption. The pattern also shows my ability to bounce back and reset myself, for which I am super proud. And grateful.
4/16/19: Watched the Bruins lose to the Maple Leafs last night in game 3 of the opening series. As evidenced many times in this diary, Boston sports fans have been more than blessed. Even though they lost I enjoyed the game.
I also had lunch with my work friend Ecem. She is a super cool chick that I enjoy spending time with. We talked about life, relationships and families. I really enjoy getting to know people in general. She’s Turkish and participates in MMA style fighting, as well as super fit, educated and driven at work. Grateful to have people to learn from in my life.
4/15/19: Helped Lisa out by doing the grocery shopping after work yesterday. We usually go on the weekend but were super busy and didn’t have time. My work schedule has been light lately, so I offered to take care of it. I actually kinda enjoy the process of selecting what foods will come into our home and take pride in choosing healthful options, bypassing most of what’s on offer. It’s a tangible reminder about our ability to make little choices that have a big impact.
4/14/19: Had breakfast with Danielle Walsh on Saturday morning to talk about Rawkstars. She is an old friend from Upromise, where we worked together and became close. She is helping me shape the product concept for our 2.0 approach. It was super cool to reconnect with her personally and as usual, I leave these sessions feeling a tiny bit more clarity about the ideas and approaches. Grateful to have such cool/smart people willing to help me and to spend time with talking.
Heavy Mellow rehearsed yesterday for the first time in a few weeks. Rusty, but we spent some time tinkering on 2 songs in particular and it felt productive. Always pumped when those guys are around and for connecting through music with cool friends.
Saturday, I had an ‘interesting’ encounter with my tenant Bob, at Azalea. I had dropped off a dishwasher earlier in the week and scheduled the plumber to install it Saturday morning at 8:30. I texted Bob a few days ahead of that so they would be ready. When we arrived, they were sleeping and his wife said she didn’t know we were coming. She asked for a few minutes to get ready, so we waited outside. Bob emerged shortly after and was ranting and raving. He was really angry, swearing and raising his voice to me. Several times he mentioned that I was ‘disrespecting’ him and that I couldn’t just come by whenever I wanted. When I tried to show him the text message I sent (which he had also replied to) he didn’t want to hear it. He wouldn’t even look at it and continued to rant and curse me out. After a minute or two of this, I told him we were going to leave and I was sending the plumber home, which I did. Not sure what is going to happen with this, now that we have open tension between us. I think I am going to engage a management company to take over the interactions with Bob going forward. We certainly will not be renewing his lease when it expires, and I only hope he treats the home well while he is still there and continues to pay rent on time. This is the side of landlording everyone talks about but until now, I have never experienced. It’s hard to frame this in terms of gratitude, but since that’s what I am supposed to be writing here, I’ll say that I’m thankful it didn’t escalate more and that I was able to remain fairly calm in the face of a pretty stressful interaction.
4/13/19: Last night we hooked up with Doug and Sue Kast for dinner. We met at our place for a few drinks and laughs, then went out for BBQ. It was nice to hang with another couple, as we haven’t done much of that in a while. Those guys are easy to hang with and it was a really enjoyable night. Grateful to have a few friends that we can share time with. I also was able to have a night where I overindulged a bit, without fear or beating myself up. I ate too many calories, though still made a solid choice by ordering a whole fish entree. I also had a couple beers and am not regretful whatsoever.
4/12/19: Had a great meet-up over coffee with Rick Santos yesterday. We talked about the store again, after we initially connected about a year ago. He and Robin are getting closer to retirement and we mutually have an interest in seeing if there is synergy for us to buy the business from them. I’m always looking for something more meaningful when it comes to ‘work’. I’m grateful that I’ve had lots of career/financial success and there is plenty to be thankful for. That said, I never envisioned myself working in corporate America, as I have for about 20 years now! I always thought that after music and technology stints, I’d have one last run at a career in my lifetime. We are going to touch base again soon and see if there is a bit more info to bring us to a next step. Cautiously optimistic.
I also had lunch with old friend Matt Gilman. We went to High School together and he recently started working at Hasbro. We connected about family, running and of course work. He told me that when we were kids he always thought I was one of the smartest guys in our school. Flattering and unexpected, especially considering how ‘different’ I was from Matt back then. Thankful for the human connection and spending time with someone from my past.
4/11/19: Bella left for her HS Disney band trip last night. She’ll be gone for 5 days and they are visiting all the theme parks. I’m grateful we could afford to send her and that she will have a nice chance to connect with her senior class band friends one more time before graduation.
4/10/19: Spent some quality time yesterday polishing up my project doc for Rawkstars 2.0. I’m working on writing up the project and budget for launching the new platform. I got some good feedback a few weeks ago from Dave Y. and it took me until now to incorporate it to a point I was happy with. We are going to meet for lunch next week and review again. My hope is that we can submit officially for a grant through the foundation he is on the board of. It would really bolster our progress and add strong energy to have some financial backing to get where we want. We are riding a fine line of paying for current students and I don’t have any short term fundraising plans in place. Felt good to be productive.
I also spent a few hours creating a future budget for Rawkstars and what it might look like if I were to work full time for the company. It was a good exercise for several reasons and it made me feel like that future may be doable in this lifetime. I would need roughly 2,100 subscribers in the base to pay myself a solid salary and have enough funds to run the business in support of 50 full time students. Whether I have the drive to achieve that remains to be seen, but it was a positive exercise in putting my thoughts down around what this might resemble on the financial side.
4/9/19: Grateful for the simple chance to start over yesterday, and everyday. After 13 consecutive days of the 100 pushup routine, I fell off Friday. It was really just a result of bad planning. I didn’t perform any during the afternoon as I typically would have and we wound up going out after dinner and I basically forgot. Once we got home it was really late and I was unmotivated so I skipped them. Life happens, whether its pushups or eating a bad meal or whatever. The beauty is that once I woke up Saturday, I made sure to get my pushups in.
4/8/19: Hectic, but productive weekend. On Friday, Lisa and I went to see Raw Deal in Marshfield. Was nice to see our old friends perform and Dave, Doug, Sue and some others were there as well. The band were solid and had a playful vibe, which was refreshing. Felt good to support Jim and the rest of the guys also.
Saturday morning I woke up early and drove an hour away to pickup a used dishwasher for Azalea. I had to borrow Cam’s truck, and it was nice to connect with him on a small favor. I dropped it off at Bob’s place and will have our plumber install it this week. I also have their deck repair scheduled and hope to cross off some other small maintenance tasks he’s been asking me about.
Saturday night, I drove to Worcester to see Baroness with Dennis. It was really cool to connect with him after many years of not really hanging out. Grateful to have some old friends that I can still enjoy time with occasionally, even after long periods of inactivity. Band was great and I ran into Amy Discuillo at the gig, which was also awesome. Always loved her and hardly ever get the chance to see her.
Sunday morning, woke up early again and drove to Worcester for ‘Accept Assumption’ with Bella and Lisa. Bella made her college choice and it was nice to see the place once again and confirm some things. I’m going to need to cover the deposit this week and figure out the details of paying for her first year. Despite my feelings about the college industry in general, I am genuinely grateful to at least be able to get her started on the path and cover her first year of expenses. I know she will thrive and kick ass at the school, and I’m hopeful it will help her take another step towards happiness on her journey.
In between all these things, I managed to rake most of our yard and seed/fertilize. Our lawn was ravaged by grubs and drought last year and really became damaged. I’ve never been great at lawn care but always took pride in at least keeping it decent. I’m hoping the energy I put into it will help it recover and return to a modest level of health. I’m grateful to have had the energy and motivation to work on it and connect a tiny bit with the outdoors, after a long, dark, cold winter. I don’t have any machines and do everything basically with manual labor. I am lucky to be able to physically handle the effort required, even though it takes a lot out of me.
4/5/19: Received an email from a girl named Amanda yesterday. She is a grad student at BU with a degree in music education. She was looking for summer/internship possibilities with Rawkstars. It was really cool to get such an inquiry and I was super impressed by her resume and website. She had so much passion for music and really expressed it in her documents. I don’t have an inkling of how we might do something together but I reached out to her because it felt right. I offered to meet for coffee and see if we can spark some ideas about a project. Perhaps something she could simply lead herself and I could help shape and finance? I was so very grateful for her note and even shared it with my co-worker and friend, Vicky Gelinas, who also has a super musical daughter pursuing a degree. Very moving.
Weighed in at 229 again this morning. Managed to stay in the same space as pre-vacation, even with my indiscretions last weekend. It’s nice to know my body can respond and that I can also get myself back from the abyss mentally. I had a solid week of eating and preparing food again and aim to keep it going through this weekend.
Made some progress yesterday in scheduling some work at the Azalea condo. Been stalling a while on getting the deck fixed up as well as a new dishwasher. Made plans yesterday to cover both items this coming week. Grateful to have something in place to cross those items off my todo list. Also thinking about hiring the contractor (Bill) to do some maintenance down in Providence. I want to keep that place in good shape and I’m thinking about some flooring and a new railing for the stairway. Grateful to have the resources to cover that and to have both properties working for us financially.
4/4/19: Met a great young woman (Veronica) and her mom (Meg) yesterday through Rawkstars. I gave Veronica a guitar and will be working to set her up with lessons in the next few weeks. She told me a story about suffering through depression for a few years and having a life changing experience going out to see a live band. She seemed very genuine and sweet. She has some experience playing flute and seems very self-motivated musically. Veronica and her mom have a real bond through seeing live bands and being part of the local music scene. I was extremely grateful to be able to provide a small bump for Veronica to get involved with music even more deeply.
Played a bit with Chuck and Ant last night working on some small parts for our songs. It’s been great to get together with them separately a couple times since we started the band. Every bit helps me improve and I enjoy connecting with them in their home.
4/3/19: Had a nice burst of creative thinking/energy yesterday. I’ve paid more attention to my morning meditation the last few days as I noticed it had been uneven for a couple weeks, before/during/since vacation. I used some of the focus to make progress on the requirements doc for the Rawkstars application, as mentioned yesterday. I made good progress on the doc and recruited a couple friends to help me progress it even further.
Also expended some brain power on creative real estate ideas. Perhaps not the most ‘productive’ use of time since it may not lead to anything, but it felt good and will take me down some road, which I suppose equates to progress of some sort.
Had a brief email exchange with Rick about his music store. We had connected with he and his wife last year about the concept of buying the business from him as he approaches retirement. The talks stalled a bit but as I’ve been thinking lately about career stuff, it came up again. We are going to connect in person next week for coffee and see what happens. Regardless of outcome it’s always pleasant to connect with people like Rick and talk business.
4/2/19: Spent some time working on Rawkstars business yesterday. Got a little bit of headway on the funding outline I started several weeks ago for Dave Y. I also had a call with a dev shop about the potential application build we would need to facilitate the new programming approach. Both items have been stagnant, mostly due to my lack of energy. Grateful to unearth those tasks and make bits of progress against each. I’ve set an intention for myself today to continue on each path, even just a little bit.
I also had some time with Q last night. He has been working to learn how to solve the Rubik’s Cube. He bought one at the mall on Sunday and spent the last 24 hours watching some youtube videos about how they work. He was stumbling on a few steps towards the end and I helped him get unstuck with a small section he was missing. He was able to complete it a couple times last night and even wrote up instructions for himself, which helped him memorize the patters. He is a really smart kid and it made me realize how sharp the brain of a kid can be. He has a capacity for learning those kinds of details that I simply don’t possess anymore. Adults have a different kind of intelligence but kids have such a strong ability to learn new skills and tasks. It’s really wonderful to see him apply himself.
4/1/19: Grateful that I stayed with my pushup challenge routine through the weekend. I’ve got 9 days consecutive of 100 pushups per day. I had a rough couple days of eating having fallen off the Whole30 wagon altogether during Q’s friend b-day party. We had a huge bag of popcorn, which is one of my absolute faves. After a couple bowls of that, later in the evening I shoveled in ice cream AND ice cream cake ;/ Continued into yesterday with more popcorn and some leftover pizza from the party. Looking to reset today and not let the weekend woes consume me. I’ve had a lot of hard work and positive progress over the last couple months and need to use these opportunities to embrace the struggle and not backslide all the way.
Had a few hours of time with Q as the girls were both working yesterday. It started out as a nice day with temps around 60. I convinced Q to drive to Providence with me to walk around and take some pics. It quickly got cloudy and started raining after we got out of the car at the Point Street Bridge. We drove over to Thayer St. to get him a smoothie and it began to clear up. So we walked around that area and through Brown University campus. It didn’t last super long and we went home after maybe an hour, but it was nice to get some time with him together outdoors. Love that kid!
3/29/19: Had some meaningful human connections yesterday, which felt really nice. I got a super sweet text from an old friend, Jorge. He’s had it rough the last bunch of years and is suffering from PTSD post cancer and possibly other conditions. He told me my writing and wisdom meant a ton to him and that he loved me. Ostensibly, I’m writing for myself, but hearing something like that really felt good.
I also got a note from an old work friend named Lois. She is a smart, cool chick that I connected with back at Upromise. She once gave me a really nice Modulus bass guitar that was owned by her brother, who passed away very young, I think from drug related issues. It’s actually owned by my friend Dave Liolios nowadays and I see him play it occasionally. She donates to Rawkstsars fairly regularly, but other than that we haven’t really connected. I emailed her a few days back, as I’ve been making more of an effort to reach out to folks that impacted me whom I’ve lost touch with. She sent back a nice note, telling me about her circumstances, family, work, etc. It felt good to ‘hear’ her voice and feel some genuine camaraderie.
Grateful for other people in my life and for making more effort to stay in touch.
3/28/19: Met up with Rudy last night to chat about the video project. Went well and I am excited to have a tiny bit of traction on the project. It was also nice to simply connect in person and talk with someone. Realizing lately I’m not getting much of that. Grateful to have someone offer their services to help Rawkstars on its journey.
Finished blog post #13 and put it into the world. Brings me enjoyment to work on my writing and a sense of accomplishment to publish something.
3/27/19: Last Saturday I started doing a pushup challenge. Nothing official, but aiming to do 100 pushups a day. Yesterday I completed my 4th day and already improved a lot. On day 1, my max set was 15 and it took me roughly 7 sets to get to 100. Last night I did 4 sets of 25 and I felt strong. I think I’m going to stick with this for a few weeks and perhaps add 100 squats to the mix. Grateful for a good start in trying to develop a new habit.
3/26/19: Grateful that I spent some time last night writing a new blog post. I didn’t complete it, but went home with that specific intention and executed against it. I’ll spend some time today sharpening it.
I connected with some friends regarding Rawkstars projects I’m thinking about. I spoke with Peter Homan first. He works as production manager at Great Woods and has supported us by offering tickets for concerts as raffle prizes. I have some ideas about leveraging that to entice enrollments this summer as well as an idea around live performances I want to ask his advice about.
I spoke also with Rudy Childs about a video project for our homepage and I’m meeting Aaron Fox, another video production friend, next week. Something I want to focus on is more personal 1:1 connection time with people. Reaching out to these guys and getting time on their calendars felt good.
3/25/19: Back at work today after Miami. Such a strange feeling whenever you return from a trip. One minute your life has a certain lens and the next it’s back to ‘normal’. Believe me, I am grateful for my life as evidenced by this scroll. That said, it’s a normal human experience to experience wanting, desire, regret and the full range of emotions on a daily basis. I’m grateful to have this position and a great job by nearly every measure.
Yesterday, Heavy Mellow rehearsed again. It was fun, as usual, and we also had a new experience with some of the new songs. We are trying a couple of really delicate tunes, “more than words” by Extreme and “Children of the Damned” by Iron Maiden, which we are doing acoustically. The Extreme song was awkward and I could tell everyone lacked confidence in what we were trying. By contrast, the Maiden tune sounded powerful, even though we were just feeling our way through the arrangement. I’m enjoying the process of playing with these guys and learning a bit more about them (and myself) each time. One beauty of the project is that if a particular song doesn’t come together, we can just scrap it and move on.
3/23/19: Writing has been uneven lately. We got back from Miami 2 nights ago. It was a fun trip, though the weather was not as glorious as we had hoped. We made the most of it and got a decent amount of beach and pool time in. We walked a lot and visited a few different areas of the city. On the second to last day, I found myself in an agitated mood in the early morning. Not totally sure what was happening, but I felt a bit exhausted trying to manage the daily schedule for everyone. I’m a planner/control type person, so I generally feel the need to have a plan of attack. The rest of the family is pretty passive when it comes to this, so that sometimes fuels my need to control/plan things out. I was also a little sunburnt and perhaps a bit disappointed that the weather hadn’t been as nice as I hoped. I think all these things led me to being a bit stressed and I became frustrated. That said, I was able to catch myself before getting too far out of hand and I got passed it within an hour or two. It didn’t ruin our day and I felt good about being able to see what was happening with my mind and get control of my emotions.
Yesterday, Lisa and I cooked an awesome dinner. I made whole red snapper, which I have been wanting to do for a long time. She made a nice side salad of white beans, zucchini, peppers, onions and a light spicy sauce. So glad to be back cooking our own food. I do enjoy the occasional restaurant meal, but it needs to be really good quality. I also cannot eat out multiple times in the course of a few days and not miss home cooking. Grateful we live in a time when fresh ingredients are available and that cooking is such a joy for both of us.
3/19/19: Spent the last couple days in Miami. Today is Q’s 13th birthday! Weather hasn’t been perfect but yesterday we packed in a day of walking/exploring, pool time, hot tub, watched 40 year old virgin and took an uber to south beach for a taco dinner and some ice cream. Our condo is a great spot and the kids seem to be enjoying themselves. Today is rainy and we are going to hit a movie and then see how the weather is later. Aiming for 2 sunny days tomorrow/Thursday when we plan to explore more of the city and wind up with a full on beach day in Fort Lauderdale before heading home. Grateful that I can treat my family to experiences like this and that we can spend several days all together.
3/16/19: On vacation as of yesterday. We don’t leave until Sunday but I’m done with work for the next 10 days or so. Spent a couple hours with Q watching Dexter yesterday after our chat a few nights ago. Made dinner for the family and did a greek salad of chickpeas, peppers, red onion, feta, tomato, black olives, oil and basil. Enjoying the continuation of keeping healthy eating top of mind. I weighed in at 229 yesterday, which is about as low as I can recall in many years. I don’t feel quite as fit as I had a couple years back, when I was exercising more regularly/harder. That said, my clothes are fitting great and I know I’m at a good place with my size. Perhaps this will be a tipping point I can use to get closer to 210, where I’d like to aim for.
3/15/19: Got my bonus check from work yesterday. Not sure if I mentioned earlier, but this year was lean. Got far less than expected as compared with the last couple years. That said, we were able to pay off our credit card in full. It had ballooned more than usual as we took care of a ton of house related projects in the last year both at home and at the rentals. We also remodeled our master bathroom and paid for much of our upcoming trip to Miami. Would be easy to feel slighted and I’ve battled those feelings a bit. Still, I am grateful to be able to provide such support for my family and to improve our home spaces while managing my debt.
Last night, Quincy and I went out for smoothies. We drove someplace like 15 miles away and sat and talked for like 30 minutes. We mostly talked about the shows Dexter and Breaking Bad. We had some heated debates about the way the shows are written and some of the characters. He’s a sharp kid, for not even 13 yet. I think he has insight beyond his years and enjoy being able to counter volley with him in conversations, even though it’s frustrating sometimes (I need to work on this!). I am genuinely happy to be able to spend one on one time with him and get to know each other more deeply.
3/14/19: Got a song emailed to me yesterday by Tony Nichols. He asked me to play bass on an original project that he is putting together. Beyond flattered. I spent some time with Tony when I was working in Boston and we would occasionally meet for lunch and catch up on things. We would talk about real estate, music, sports and life in general. I got to like him very much personally. He’s a great guitar player with a super polished rhythm stroke. He knows how to get great tone and is a prolific songwriter. The tune he sent me is really cool, but also super fast and out of my realm, style-wise. It’s a chugging right hand pick type vibe, which is 180 degrees from how I play bass. The quality of musicians that I’ve been fortunate to play with is humbling, especially given my own relative skill level. I’m grateful to have been asked and will look to rise to the challenge of learning to play something like that.
Yesterday was the second consecutive day that someone told me I looked great. At the show on Tuesday, Mike Kane said I looked ‘jacked’ and commented a few times on how thin I was. Yesterday at work, my friend Nila asked me if I had been losing weight and said I looked great. Having body issues and emotional connections with food and weight over the years made those comments extra special. I know focusing on them isn’t healthy either way, but I couldn’t help but smile when hearing it.
‘I also read Michael Pollan’s ‘Food Rules’ last night, which took me only about 30 minutes. It’s simple, no-nonsense thoughts about food that are super resonant for me. Good part is that I’ve already been thinking of food in the same terms (mostly) over the last several months. His philosophy is “eat real food, mostly greens and not too much”. I could use a bit of work on the ‘mostly’ greens part. I do eat a lot of veggies, but I still eat meat at roughly half of my meals in a given week and also as a snack sometimes. I could also sharpen my portions, especially at dinner. That said, I’m happy with where I am and will never be perfect, nor strive to be.
3/13/19: Went to see Y&T last night with Jim. We also met up with Mike Kane. Been a Stoughton old-friend-fest the last few nights. Y&T is always a super fun rock show and last night was no different. First time visiting the venue in New Bedford and it’s a solid place to see bands. Nothing fancy and a pretty bland vibe, but it’s close to home, has reasonable production, and easy sight lines. Was really cool to hang with Jim and Mike and catch up a bit. Mike told me several times how good and fit I looked and that felt really nice. On the musical side, Y&T are one of those bands that I can really let myself go while watching. Meneketti is such an underrated musician. Was the first time in a while I shot some pics and got maybe one decent shot. Felt good to do that a bit as well. Grateful for old friends and new memories in and around music.
3/12/19: Lisa’s band played on Saturday night. It was their first show with Tom on drums. They absolutely killed it. I’ve seen them a few dozen times and it was probably the best energy I ever heard from the band. The room was packed and we saw a ton of old friends. Gorilla Cookies opened the show, and they haven’t gigged in many years, so they brought a lot of people out to the show. Both bands were excellent and it was a great bill of cohesive bands performing to a crowd that fed the vibe back to the band. I saw a ton of 02072 folks and it was really nice to catch up with some of them. Lisa was of course super happy and everyone couldn’t stop talking about how incredible she was, which was also very true. I’m grateful she got some well deserved accolades and that her band channeled the energy so well. I think having Tom play with them is actually going to be an upgrade for their sound, though they will have to acclimate the band to suit his style a bit, since his drumming is quite different and he doesn’t sing.
Yesterday, we had rehearsal #3 with Heavy Mellow. It went ok, though not as productive as the last round. We started in on one new song and listened to 2 others. I’m extremely happy everyone seems to be digging the songs, vibe and sound of what we are doing. I’ve enjoyed the mixing aspect a bit and trying to tweak the PA a bit each time we connect. I also played my 76 Jazz, which is something I hadn’t previously been doing. Aiming to get more comfortable on that bass since I don’t want it to simply be a show piece. As always, grateful for so much music in my life.
3/9/19: Spent a bunch of time yesterday working on a family budget, with Lisa. I reactivated my Mint account, which has been stale for years. I got all of my online accounts connected so I can view our entire financial profile. We then took a few hours and created budgets for all the income/expenses we could think of. We’ve had a run of 3-4 years during which we really haven’t had to worry much about our spending. We always had reserves to cover ourselves and keep the debt from mounting. This coming year, things are going to tighten. My bonus from Hasbro is taking a big hit, due to company performance. We also burned through all the reserves we had, mostly buying big ticket items for the house and our real estate investments. It actually felt good to spend some time thinking through all of this and coming up with a strategy. I always enjoy thinking about finance and trying to plan. I’m grateful we had such a long stretch of time where money wasn’t really an issue and I’m also glad to have the opportunity to instill some discipline moving forward, so we can remain in a good place financially and take care of the family.
3/8/19: Low key day. I took some time to practice and learned Dogman by Kings X. One of my favorite bands and hoping to add this to the Heavy Mellow setlist though the band tunes way down to fucking C! We are supposed to rehearse this Sunday and the weekend is gonna be busy overall. Lisa’s band is playing Saturday night for the first time in months, and with their new drummer Tom. Fates is in town Sunday with Queensryche and I’m planning to go hang with everyone. HM is slated to rehearse Sunday morning, assuming everyone is still up for it after Saturday night. Jim’s band is opening for Moonstruck. Should be a good crowd and heavily 02072 slanted. Thankful for music, as always.
3/7/19: Amazing what a difference a day makes. I reflected a lot yesterday on the talk I had with Lisa. I felt the typical resentment, defense and tendency to tell myself stories about what was happening. I was able to feel that, get passed it and come back to embracing the feedback, in an effort to improve our relationship. There’s no doubt it’s the most meaningful thing in my life and if she is feeling a certain way, then it’s a real thing, regardless of why it’s happening. I think I’ve had too much on my plate the last few months and haven’t done a good job of focusing on the limits of my energy. Too little has been focused on the family relationships, and with Lisa in particular. I’m grateful we fought about it, since otherwise, it wouldn’t have come out and I might have continued unaware.
I also weighed myself and checked in at 230, the lowest I have weighed in probably 4 years. I know it’s temporary and I want to get away from the scale as a measure of my health. That said, taking a moment to acknowledge the improvement over the last 6 weeks feels warranted. I wore my ‘skinny shirt’ to the office today and I feel pretty darn good.
3/6/19: Rough one today. When I started writing this over a year ago, I was hoping it would be an exercise in gratitude and help me build a habit and pattern of thinking to look for the positive. It has. There are some days when I have to stop and think a bit but many days it’s easy, even when things haven’t been obviously positive.
Lisa and I have been in a bit of a ‘fight’ lately. Our fights are generally a brief crescendo of angst, followed by some period of quiet, before we come back to the table and talk. Similar circumstance here and yesterday was the night we circled back to clear the air. In a nutshell, Lisa told me in no uncertain terms that she feels disrespected. That I don’t listen to her. Moreover, as we talked more, she began to describe the fact that I make her feel like she adds no value and ‘can’t do anything’. She described several aspects of my life that are seemingly beyond her purview or that she feels she doesn’t contribute to.
It hurt like a motherfucker. To hear someone I’ve been deeply in love with for 30+ years say those things about me is one of the worst scenarios I can think of. I weakly apologized a couple of times, but really didn’t know how to respond, given the breadth of her statements.
Couldn’t sleep. Feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut and questioning wtf I’ve been doing with my life. The only real friend I have and person I love more than anyone expressed that I basically make her feel useless :/
In the context of this writing, my perspective is that I am grateful it came out. Grateful that it’s now on the table and that I have some opportunity to turn things around. Rubber, meet road.
3/5/19: I’ve been slightly ill the last 36 hours or so, battling some stomach cramps and aches. I think it’s a result of eating too much cheese on Sunday. I am literally coming off Whole3o and haven’t had any dairy or processed food for 5 full weeks. I had some jarlsberg cheese the night before and then for brunch I had 2 bagel halves, both slathered with chive cheese. I started to feel queasy that afternoon and spent most of the last day+ resting. In a way, I am grateful that my body is reacting to the change of eating and telling me to slow down. I’m definitely grateful to be able to listen to it and I’ll be more mindful about re-introducing foods in the coming days and weeks. Stomach ache aside, completing the Whole 30 has been great. I definitely dropped a chunk of weight. and my face, clothes and body are noticeably slimmer. I still haven’t had alcohol and am thinking I’ll continue on that at least until our trip to Miami. I kinda like the idea and feeling of not drinking (mostly 🙂 and would like to lessen my alcohol consumption moving forward, limiting myself even more than in the past. It’s not that I don’t care for the feeling of being buzzed, cause I do! It’s more about the after effects it has on my eating and the fact that I’ve spent a majority of my life that way, and trying out the sobriety angle for a while might be a cool change in perspective.
3/4/19: Had the fam over yesterday for my mom’s (and Quincy’s bday). We made brunch and spent the morning cooking eggs, bacon, sausage and home fries. My mom brought Jewish bagels and lox, which is a treat for me. Few laughs, typical of when our family gets together. There’s always an undercurrent of animosity in the group and Ben lashed out at Dick at least once, which livens things up for the kids. I’m grateful that my mom seemed to enjoy the gathering. She deserves some peace and love and I know it makes her happy for a brief while.
3/2/19: Yesterday I received a package in the mail from Jeff Crocker. He’s an old music friend who lives down in Florida. I first met him back in the Deringer’s days, when I was mixing there. He had a band called Sick Phyllis with another friend of mine Bob Cushman. They were really great and one of the first local bands I mixed playing a more stripped down, single guitar, alternative rock sound. They were all strong players and writers and were super fun to mix as a sound guy since they didn’t overplay and left room for each other. I did several gigs with them and we all became friends. Jeff was their bassist.
In latter years, I asked those guys to play the Deringer’s reunion show I put together in 2013 and we all rekindled a bit. Jeff came up from Florida and turns out he had done pretty well for himself doing some kind of sales gig for a wine distributor. In the last few years, he’s made some super generous donations to Rawkstars and been very supportive. We’ve texted and connected over music sporadically and I consider him a friend, even though he lives far away. He even travelled here for the Narrows event a couple years back.
Fast forward to yesterday, when the package came. I opened it and it had a note that said he was starting a new tradition. On his birthday, he was going to make a donation to Rawkstars and also send me some music that was meaningful to him, that he thought I might dig. He said he was honored to know me and that music had also saved his life, as it has mine.
He included a CD of Duke Ellington, Mingus and a drummer I didn’t know playing a live set of jazz. It included a typed story about the recording which was quite cool to read and moving.
It also had a check for $1,000.
The donation would have been super nice on its own, but the note he sent and the thoughtfulness around the CD selection was truly magical. I listened to the CD as I made homemade spaghetti sauce for the family last evening. I am absolutely blown away that someone was moved to do something that nice for me and for Rawkstars. It really made a huge impact on me and it’s something I plan to adopt for myself. I am filled with joy and gratitude for having crossed paths with Jeff and the human connection we made.
2/28/19: Last night Taunton High hosted an open house for incoming 8th graders. Bella and Cam volunteered to take Quincy. They picked him up and spent the night walking him around the school and helping him signup for several clubs. Cam convinced him to at least consider the cross country track team and he even professed interest in the drama club! I know if Lisa and I had taken him, he wouldn’t have opened up so much. It’s awesome to see the kids taking Q under their wing a bit. He looks up to Bella (and Cam!) and it’s a really cool dynamic to see in your own kids.
Separately, Quincy had issues with his computer. It’s got some hardware problem where it won’t boot. I think it’s related to the power supply, but in any case, he was unable to use it. He had been planning some big video production as the new Fortnite season launched. He was really upset, after spending a couple hours solid trying to get it working. He googled the symptoms and had the housing all opened up. He took out the video card, cleaned everything and really worked to sort out the problem. Ultimately, he couldn’t get it sorted out and was literally in tears at the end of the night. He was starting to pile on himself and expressing that the universe was against him, since it crapped out at the least opportune moment. I talked to him about not telling himself those kinds of stories and how that is the minds way of making associations that aren’t helpful. I then heard him wake up super early this morning. After I showered and got ready for work, I heard him in his bedroom making a video! He wasn’t able to get the computer working, but setup his xbox and old school video camera and did the next best thing. I was so proud of him for pushing through the challenge and coming up with something to resolve it. Grateful that he is such a smart, loving kid and that he demonstrated such maturity in the face of something so upsetting.
2/27/19: Yesterday was my 30th day on the Whole 30 plan. I’m really proud of myself. I am not typically interested in radically changing my eating plan, but I was in a place of struggle and needed to take the leap. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could actually get through 30 days of clean eating and live with that kind of discipline. I definitely feel better and dropped around 10lbs. I don’t want to rule myself with a scale and my body composition has changed in the last few years. So my current weight (233) feels a bit heavier than it did a couple years back. Grateful that I have tools in my box to continue to work on my health and that I can emotionally prioritize it.
Also, yesterday Lisa and I met with Kyle Farmer, a new Rawkstars student. He is 10 years old and plays drums. He came to our attention through Rick’s Music, where he and his 2 brothers have been taking music lessons many years. The family fell on hard times and his grandfather passed away. The grandpa was a huge source of music for all 3 boys and performed for years with and separately from them. He had been paying at least some of the lesson costs for the family. The mom also lost her job and continuing to pay for 3 music students per month became impossible. His dad seemed really cool and is a 19 year veteran of the Brockton Fire Dept. He also wore a Clutch hat, which made me smile. I am so genuinely blessed and filled with gratitude to be able to help support people like this. They were clearly so very deserving of some help and Kyle seems genuinely passionate about music. I feel extremely lucky to be the conduit through which others can help people like this.
2/26/19: After all the excitement of the prior day, Bella and I went to Taunton court yesterday to file the harassment order. It was quite a frustrating ordeal, with typical government inefficiency. Eventually, after much ado, we saw a judge and got the order officially filed. I was proud of Bella and was happy to help comfort her and walk her through a process like that, which she will surely encounter in her life. After spending the first half of the day dealing with that, I got home and did some follow up painting in the bathroom. It was nice to unplug and do something meditative for a bit. I finished one wall in a new gray color, and am much happier with the outcome than the prior paint job. I’ll work this week on finishing the rest and grateful for the improved look.
2/25/19: Whew. Lots to discuss today. Yesterday was rehearsal #2.5 for Heavy Mellow. It went extremely well and we sounded 10x better than jam #1. Everyone seemed energized and it’s coming together really well. The room sounds good and we worked on a lot of small dynamic elements, which made the tunes come to life. Grateful to play (again!) with such talented musicians and people with solid human energy.
I posted on FB about the donation we made to Rich and folks loved it. Tons of positive response and it felt nice to have so many RS supporters acknowledge the use of those funds. I’m glad we were able to help him out and please our donor base. Hopeful that will help everyone remember what we are about as we convert to the subscription model later this year. It will be a huge accomplishment to get ourselves to a level where the organic fundraising becomes an addition to our monthly base, instead of the main source of funds for RS.
During the afternoon, Bella texted me and I could tell something was on her mind. She came home from work and when we finished rehearsal, I went to talk with her in private. She told me a story about this former High School kid who graduated a few years back and tried to connect with her across social media. He pinged her on FB, Twitter and IG in an effort to ‘friend’ her. She didn’t respond and eventually blocked him. Yesterday morning, her friend who works at the other Subway location called her and said a guy was just in there asking for Bella. B asked what he looked like and it sounded to her like the kid from online. She was definitely spooked and locked the door at the store. She said business was dead and she was in the back room mostly watching out front, when a few hours later, his car pulled up. She recognized it because her friend mentioned him driving a blue Honda. She bolted into the back room and called her friend and asked her to call the police, which she did. Bella said the kid came in the store, though she stayed put in the back for a few minutes until the cops arrived. They took the guy outside and questioned him, etc. and told Bella she could file a harassment order to prevent him from coming near her. While this scared the crap out of all of us, I was so proud of Bella for how she handled things. She is so mature and has such a good instinct about people, she was able to diffuse anything before it escalated. My instinct tells me he is just an awkward kid, who saw a pretty girl and wanted to connect with her. That said, I want her to feel safe and of course be protected. We went today to court and filed the order, and my hope is everything blows over uneventfully.
2/24/19: Yesterday, Lisa and I went to meet Rich. He’s the Navy veteran of 20+ years that was in need of an instrument. I mentioned being contacted by his fiancee below and after a few weeks of email correspondence, we connected. It was nice to deliver the instrument to Rich and meet him in person. Atypical of the usual Rawkstars student, it was really sweet to connect with him and hear some of his background. He appeared healthy and fit, contrary to the visual I had in mind after hearing from Cathy and I was happy to meet him. I am so grateful that events like this are semi-regular occurrences for me, based on running the charity. I am blessed beyond belief at being able to impart joy to others in the form of music, due to the ongoing support of hundreds of donors.
We attended a party last night ‘F-U Winter” at Bob and Dawn Rochleau’s place. It was a gathering of music types and they are a fun couple. We saw some people we haven’t seen much lately, which was nice. I was able to remain in control of my eating and drinking, which was also nice. It’s something I’ve always struggled with and seeing that I can be in that environment without losing myself in food/drink and still have a good time connecting with people and laughing is an awesome demonstration to myself.
2/22/19: We had Cam over for dinner again last night. It was a nice, simple evening of family and food. We had some laughs and watched a little TV afterward. Quincy definitely likes having Cam around, which is sweet. Bella opened up (slightly!) about college and it seems like UMass Boston is off her list. Still awaiting UConn and Amherst to answer. She indicated she doesn’t believe UConn is realistic, because of the admissions and probable cost. Gut instinct is telling me she is currently deciding between Assumption and URI, with Amherst still possible, pending their decision. Grateful for the family time we had and that Bella is in a good position to make her decision.
Came across a super old pic of Red and Mrs. Rollo last night on my phone. I texted it to Red, knowing he would get a kick out of seeing it. We briefly chatted back and forth and he told me it made his day. Little things like that make such a huge impact on people and by extension, the world. I’m thankful that I’ve always been able to instinctually think that way and make very personal connections with people over the years. I don’t have many super deep friendships, but am blessed with tons of this type.
2/21/19: Learned Children of the Damned by Iron Maiden last night. I had been listening to songs during the afternoon to add to the ‘Heavy Mellow’ idea list, including this one and Hallowed Be Thy Name. Lisa was out at band practice, Bella was working and Q had a sleepover. So I found myself alone. Cranked up the space heater in the bedroom and hunkered down with my bass. It felt good to be able to slowly put together the parts and play through most of the song after maybe 30 minutes. Grateful for having time alone and for making it valuable. It’s motivating when you make progress with music and feel yourself just a tiny bit better than when you started.
2/20/19: Rehearsed separately with Chuck and Anthony last night. I brought my bass over their place and we walked through some details of the songs we tried out at our first jam. It was really fun and we worked out some finer points which made a huge difference. Chuck (and Ant!) are both excellent players and in short order I’m already learning from both of them. I was thinking that 2 hours was the best part of my day and how alive I felt. I’m hopeful that after this coming weekend we can get a regular pattern of rehearsals, perhaps every other week. Grateful to be working on something new musically, learning from and playing with new people. I like the direction of the songs and look forward to seeing how we develop together.
2/19/19: Sent out a Rawkstars program survey over the weekend. Jack and I worked on it in an effort to learn more about our existing subscribers. We had about 50 respondents and I was grateful for the fact that folks took the time to give us their input. The idea is to really narrow down the personas of who our supporters are so we can tailor our messaging and business model to best service them. It’s an exciting time for the company and although things are moving slowly, they are moving, for the first time in a while.
2/18/19: Lisa, Bella and I visited Assumption College yesterday. We took a tour of the campus in the morning and I really liked it. In the afternoon, Bella had a tryout for their chorus program, for which they have potential scholarship money available. The school has a small enrollment (2,000) but I thought it had a larger campus feel. It was also nice, but not overly grandiose. Hopeful they offer Bella some $ in addition to the merit scholarship she already received. It would make an attractive choice at that price. Grateful we are on the journey together with B and that she is such a talented student. She has several great options in front of her and while she moves on to the next phase of her life, I am proud of all her accomplishments.
At night, Lisa and I watched the penultimate episode of True Detective, Season 3. It’s an absolutely brilliantly acted and written/directed show. We truly live in the golden age of tv where great art is being made regularly. I’m thankful for being able to watch shows of this caliber and to be inspired by them. I hope to someday be involved as part of a project with that level of excellence.
2/17/18: Yesterday Lou and I stayed behind to make breakfast for everyone, while the others went to the gym/pool. It was cool to connect with him personally for a couple hours and cook for everyone. Later, we went out and hiked around their lake, which is huge. We bundled up and the sun was strong, so despite the cold temps, we felt warm. Liam and Sophia took out the ATV’s and drove Bella and Q around, which was awesome. While walking, we met up with a couple of their neighbors, who had snowmobiles. We took turns riding them, which was really fun. I felt alive all day while we were out in nature, feeling cold and the sun at the same time, and driving the vehicles around the lake. So grateful for the chance to do that and to see the kids having such fun also. Later, we went back to the house and Lisa and I made dinner for everyone. Their neighbors also came over to eat with us and we had a large table filled with adults and kids alike. Quincy really opened up and told his Logic rap story, which everyone loved. He was more conversational and engaged than he used to be in a group setting. I was really proud of him and happy to see him come out of his shell a bit. He definitely looks up to Liam, who is both hysterical and gentle at the same time. Lou, Trish, Liam and Sophia are all such cool, grounded people. We are truly blessed to be friends with them and to have not only stayed in touch for 33+ years, but grown together as individuals and families.
2/16/17: We drove up to Lou and Trish’s new house in Maine yesterday to spend the weekend. The drive was about 2:45 and we took the kids out of school early. The house is amazing, as expected. Lou doesn’t do anything half-assed and every detail is absolutely perfect. We talked, cooked, listened to music and watched The Office, which everyone of course loves. We also played ‘what do you meme?” which is a card game with super racy language. It wasn’t something we typically would have done with the kids. Not that we are overly strict parents, but some of the phrases in the game are super dark and certainly not things you’d generally bring up with the kids. Still, it was kinda nice to bond with them in a bit of a new way. They had fun and I was grateful we experienced something new as a family in a positive way.
2/15/19: Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Lisa and Bella both had to work the evening shift, so I took Quincy out to dinner. Nothing fancy, but it was nice to spend a bit of time with him away from the house and screens. We had a few laughs and I was able to eat healthfully, even at a so-so local restaurant. Grateful to have such a loving, healthy, cool son and that our relationship is strong.
2/14/19: Bi-weekly session with Jack last night and had Bill Smith join us. He runs an SEO consulting biz and is going to assist in our 2.0 project. We’re going to get involved with paid search using google adwords. Rawkstars is now a registered google nonprofit and one of the benefits we receive is $10k per month in adwords credits. I only know how it works at a super high level so I learned a lot just in our first conversation. I’m also trying to ramp up efforts on the website project, since we need that front end to coincide with our application work on the back end. Juggling a lot of priorities and struggling a bit to keep focused on one thing. Grateful to have some friends who are interested in supporting the project and can lend expertise in areas I am deficient. Bill is also a great family guy and someone I admired for a long time. He’s humble, grounded and exudes a quiet self-confidence about who he is and isn’t, similar to Doug Kast. Connecting with old/new friends is a great offshoot of working on this project the last few months.
2/13/19: Grateful for my meditation practice. It’s been a regular habit for me coming on 18 months and has impacted my life in numerous ways. Digging into Buddhism, combined with the actual practice of meditation and subsequent implementation of the concepts in my daily life have genuinely changed me. I’m psyched that it’s something I stumbled upon, even if I was well into my 40s before it happened.
It snowed a bit yesterday and Hasbro let us go early. I had a few extra hours and used it productively. I shoveled the walk/driveway and it was nice to be outdoors moving, even in winter. I cooked a nice chicken dinner in the oven, which isn’t my general approach. I painted the shelf in our bathroom to continue progress on the remodel and I worked a bit on the Rawkstars books, to keep them in shape. Thankful for the productive time and that I had energy for those activities.
2/12/19: Still on track with my Whole30 program. Today is day #16. I’m feeling good overall and proud of myself for displaying some discipline, after a pretty long stretch of not doing so. I can tell I’ve dropped a few pounds, but not planning to weigh in until after the 30 days. We have a weekend trip upcoming to Louie’s new place in Maine, that is going to be a challenge for both eating and drinking. Grateful for being mindful about my health and even when I fail, I continue to try and make changes for the better, instead of giving up.
2/11/19: Finished painting the bathroom this weekend. Things have been upside down the last few weeks since we started the remodel. We finally picked a color (blue) and I was able to get everything done in 2 days. We still need to do some smaller parts, like painting and re-hanging the mirror and other decorative tasks, but overall it’s looking great. Thankful to have the resources to beautify my home and grateful for the physical and mental ability to take care of small jobs around the house.
2/9/19: I was contacted today online by a local woman named Cathy. She found out about Rawkstars through a local group on FB, where she was looking for a donated instrument for her fiancee. She sent me a rather long email about this gentlemen who was a Navy veteran and had a rare form of cancer. He spent decades in the service performing with various bands and has a long musical history with his family, dating back several generations. Apparently, he had to sell his gear a few years back to pay for medical expenses and has been without music since. Specifically, he wanted a hollow body bass, which of course got my attention. I called Cathy on the phone to talk with her more directly and we had a nice conversation. She actually broke down and started crying when I told her I would help. I am truly grateful to be in a position to help people through my work with RS. The folks who donate every year and make it possible are the ones who make it happen and I am in the lucky position to experience direct contact with the end users. Blessed.
2/8/19: Thankful to be able to listen to music all day at work. Yesterday, specifically, I came across both Jorja Smith and Anderson Paak on NPR Music. I follow their ‘Tiny Desk’ music series, which features stripped down versions of bands in a library setting. I’ve stumbled across so many great artists there and am absolutely in love with the audio production on that series. I am fortunate that my profession allows me to listen to music while I work.
2/7/19: Had another great meeting with Jack last night about Rawkstars 2.0. We continue to make incremental progress and I am honestly energized after each of our sessions. We are working on a program overview to outline our project and potentially submit it to funders. I also connected with longtime friend Bill Smith, who has started his own SEO business. As we move towards a donor subscription model, we are going to need to leverage internet traffic and search marketing to attract potential donors and new students to convert in our funnel. I also applied for google non-profit status which will give us additional (free) tools to continue this journey. Grateful for the help of so many smart, talented friends in seeing if we can make Rawkstars more impactful to the world.
2/6/19: Grateful for music. As much as music is part of my being, I sometimes don’t listen as much as I’d like. I generally listen to podcasts during my commute, mostly Buddhism, business or storytelling types. At work, I do music sometimes, but am often up/down and in/out of meetings, so it’s sporadic. Yesterday, I had a light schedule and found myself digging into youtube in search of tunes for the new project to try and learn. I continued on my ride home just letting google spin and I listened to stuff I normally wouldn’t dial up on my own. I felt energized by the experience as I typically do when music takes hold.
2/5/19: Spent time yesterday working on a project proposal for the Rawkstars 2.0 overhaul. Last week I had lunch with an old friend, Dave Yuknat, who I worked with at Upromise. He is on the board of a family foundation that might be able to provide financial support for our transformation. He gave me some advice about writing up my plans, which in hindsight seems obvious. I’m hopeful to get my thoughts on paper and work with him to hone the proposal and see if we can get it funded. That would allow us to accelerate the process greatly as well as continue with our existing students in parallel, without worry about exhausting our funds short term. I’m 100% committed to our new approach and if I cannot execute the idea, Rawkstars will become a smaller version of itself. We’ll support just a few kids and projects, so I won’t have to fundraise extensively as I have for the last 15 years. Grateful for the help of my friend Dave as well as the energy I’ve had lately for RS in general.
2/4/19: Missed a few days and have plenty to write. Another season, another championship for Boston. Last night the Pats beat the Rams in an old school Superbowl game. It was 3-3 in the 4th quarter which was incomprehensible, for anyone who has watched football in the last 20 years. I am genuinely thankful to have lived through such an era of greatness in local sports. It’s brought so much enjoyment to folks I know and myself as well. The Patriots (Kraft/Belichik/Brady) have done things that others will marvel at long after they are gone.
We mostly finished our bathroom remodel this weekend also. We still have to paint and decorate, but the construction is complete. We had a glitch with the plumbing on Saturday which I hope is resolved, but I am even thankful about that. As a result of some problems, we had to hire a plumber, named Jesse. He was a great guy and I was happy to connect with him. I’m certain to need plumbing services down the road, and now I have a trusted contact. It was also pleasurable meeting Bill and Roy, who did all the heavy lifting on the project. Our bathroom looks terrific and the house is in much better shape than its been for several years. It’s a nice feeling of pride in our living space and although our funds are extremely depleted, I can be grateful that we were in a position to tackle such projects. I don’t take it for granted how lucky we are financially.
Yesterday, I also jammed with my new music project. Chuck/Anthony Giambusso, Jim Cannon, Paul Lourenco, Lisa and myself. We ran through 5 songs and it was so much fun. Despite it being our very first jam together, things came together fairly quickly and easily. Plenty of rough spots to work on but overall it sounded pretty great for a first run. I spent some time setting up our space before everyone arrived and ringing out our PA for the vocals. Doing that always makes me feel good and takes me back to my days doing live sound. It’s extremely pleasurable for me to put on background music, neatly setup the ‘stage’ how I want it and tinker with the sonic quality of the room. Our project is going to require more meticulous mixing and visuals and I’m grateful to be working on that aspect. I’m continually humbled at being able to play music with people that are super talented. It’s a true blessing to not only know so many great musicians personally, but have them join together in creative ways to make something together. I think Lisa also enjoyed herself more than expected. I want her to also have the band as a creative outlet and get satisfaction from it musically, instead of just trying to fit in somehow, as was the case in the last months of Wicked Blue.
1/30/19: Received an email from a grandmother looking for support on music lessons for her granddaughter. She was referred to me/Rawkstars by an old colleague, Nick Vecchio. I met him years ago when he ran the Daddy’s Junky Music store over in Dedham. I’m grateful to have such amazing connections in the local music scene and that Rawkstars is viewed as an ally to helping people in need. To think that the charity has resonated enough with our network for 15 years and touched so many individuals is truly humbling.
1/29/19: Our bathroom project is generating a ton of trash, which is piling up alongside the house. I have access to a dumpster over at the condo we own, so I filled my trunk with trash and drove over to unload it.
The condo is an investment that we’ve managed for 7 years. It’s fairly hands-off and the most interaction we typically have are the voicemails we get from the association, or the annual meetings they hold for the owners. We’ve also mulled selling the condo a fair amount in recent months, to help pay for Bella’s impending college journey, among other things.
Long story short, when I drove over to use the dumpster, I was struck by just how nice the complex is. It’s always been an attractive development and despite (or because of?!) the tactics of the association, is super well maintained. I felt a strong source of gratitude in knowing that we own such a beautiful property, and that it’s been such a successful investment for us.
I’m genuinely proud that we have been able to be so productive, with limited resources, to help ensure our financial security now and in the future. I don’t take time to celebrate those achievements nearly enough. Last night I did.
1/28/19: Ramped up a ton on the bathroom remodel this weekend. Lisa and I spent a lot of time shopping for tile, vanities, fixtures, etc. We are blessed to be able to beautify our home and afford to funnel resources towards something seemingly extravagant. It’s been a while since we did any home updating and it’s been a fun experience.
Bella got accepted to URI as well, which is one of her main choices it seems. So she has Assumption, URI, UMass Boston, Quinnipiac and Bridgewater State in her back pocket. I don’t think Bridgewater is in her consciousness at all, and I sorta forced her to apply there due to the cost and proximity. Quinnipiac is far to expensive, imo, and I don’t think is a realistic choice for her. Seems like all the possibilities are lining up and I’m happy for her to have gotten many offers from schools that I think will be good experiences for her.
1/25/19: Had a great Rawkstars meeting last night with Jack and Jim Heys. I asked Jim, who I work with at Hasbro, to come along to discuss the concept of building us an application to enter, view and track all our program participants and activities. It was a great discussion and I always leave these sessions energized with more ideas. Grateful that Jim (and Jack) were willing to take time out of their day to provide some energy to the conversation. Really excited about the potential of where things are headed and it’d been a fun learning process for me the last few months.
1/24/19: I realized yesterday that my meditation practice has actually become a habit. That’s not to say I’m 100% perfect, but most days, I am able to get at least some meditation time in without really thinking much about it, pun intended. It’s become something I just do, typically each morning before I leave for work. Weekends are more sketchy, as seems to be my pattern with eating and other things. Grateful that I’ve integrated the practice with my regular daily activities and formed a habit intentionally.
1/23/19: Had the beginning of the home improvements started at the house yesterday. Our contractor came and repaired some finish work in the basement, added a drop ceiling to our laundry room, hung some lights in the music area and repaired the exterior doorframe which was rotting. Over the next few weeks, he’ll be coming back to rehab our main bathroom and take care of some small additional jobs. I’m truly thankful to have the resources to beautify the house and even if I cannot perform the work myself, it’s nice to be able to make it happen another way. We take great pride in our home and spend a ton of time there. It’s fulfilling to maintain what we have and beautify our living space modestly.
1/22/19: Today, I am grateful for heat. It’s a simple, but overlooked aspect of modern life. At least until the temps hit 0 degrees, here in New England. As the years go by, I am colder each year. My body has changed a lot in the last 10 years and I am regularly cold, when I didn’t used to be. On super cold winter days, I am reminded about how fortunate we are to be able to simply raise the thermostat in the house, wrap ourselves in blankets and be warm. Not everyone has that luxury and I am genuinely thankful for the fact I have such a simple luxury at my disposal.
1/21/19: I seem to remember writing about the Red Sox’ greatness this fall. Last night, the Pats advanced to the Superbowl. Again. I probably said it then, but it still stands that in 40+ years of following sports pretty closely, there has never been a stretch of greatness anywhere near the Brady/Belichik era of the Patriots. NFL football overall has slipped to a second rate sport for me in the last 10 years, but I was truly grateful to feel the drama of that game as it unfolded.
I watched alone as Lisa and Q went to see the Impractical Jokers in Boston. It was one of Quincy’s xmas gifts. The weather was awful and I know Lisa didn’t want to drive in the city, and I am thankful that they had the experience together and made it back safely.
1/20/19: Bella found out yesterday that she was ‘deferred’ from early action at UMass Amherst. She has been waiting for weeks as this is high on her list of desired colleges. She took the news really well and graciously moved on to seeing the positives from all the colleges who did accept her. She still has a chance to get accepted during regular enrollment and it’s just another part of the college process that is unnecessarily complex and beneficial only to the schools, not the kids or parents. Bella really displays an ability to get past news like this quickly. I’m sure she was disappointed, but didn’t dwell on it for long. I’m grateful to have such a mature daughter who demonstrates such an advanced set of life skills.
1/19/19: Did some shopping yesterday with Lisa. We have a handyman coming by next week to fix a bunch of small maintenance items around the house that I haven’t been able to deal with. While he’s here, we decided to do a bathroom update. We are going to replace the shower with a more modern, tiled shower and also update the flooring, paint and perhaps some other things. We haven’t spent much money on the interior of the house in many years. It’s served us well but it feels nice thinking about giving it some TLC. I’m truly grateful that we have such a great home and also the means to keep it in good shape, even if I’m not really handy myself.
1/18/19: Had a great chance interaction with some of the senior leadership at my company yesterday. Our CTO stopped me in the hallway and said he has been hearing great things about the work I’ve been doing and is excited to hear more. As we talked, my area SVP happened by and joined the conversation, reinforcing much of the same sentiment. It was a really nice affirmation for me, as I have been putting a lot of energy into trying to develop a small team here at the office. I’ve wanted to carve out a niche for myself here, basically since I started 4+ years ago. I’ve never been great at navigating the corporate culture and generally have viewed work as a means to an end for several years. That said, I’ve been looking for more fulfillment in what I do and for a role more suited to my strengths. This might lead to the chance to have my own small group here and for that I am grateful.
1/17/19: Making progress with some of my teams at work this week. Yesterday, I got some technical pieces completed with one of the groups I support. I don’t get a ton of satisfaction from my day to day gig, but on occasion, I feel like I’m helping them do their jobs better. Grateful to be in a position to support cool people and be well paid for the service I provide.
Also, watched the new Riverdale with the kids. It’s a soap opera and not a show I would typically watch. That said, Bella likes it and it’s one of the few shows we can watch as a family. I cherish the time together as I know it won’t always be like that for us.
1/16/19: Took another walk/hike at the park with Quincy yesterday. We bundled up as it appeared super cold, but once we got out there the sun kept us warm enough to take a bit of a longer stroll. I worked at home, so it was even nicer than usual to get some fresh air and get outdoors. He’s a good companion on walks and we always seem to have quality conversation time in that setting.
I worked at home as I had a contractor coming by to review some home repairs. I met a super nice gentleman named Bill and he is going to tackle a decent punch list of items. We’ve been in the space for nearly 18 years and haven’t done much on the inside in quite some time. It was nice to connect with Bill and I am super grateful to have some plans in place to beautify, maintain and even improve our home.
1/14/19: Met my old friend Darren Lourie for breakfast yesterday. I sold him one of my basses and we made plans to connect for the delivery. I’m blessed to have a lot of talented, smart and kind people in my life and I’m making more of an effort to connect with them in the flesh instead of virtually. We had a nice meal, talked for nearly two hours and it was a really fulfilling experience. I used the money to buy groceries for the week and gave the remainder to Lisa to pay bills or whatever she needs. Since I had added a new bass last week, I’m glad that I was able to remove one from my collection. I want to remain conscious about simplifying and focusing less on accumulating ‘stuff’.
1/13/19: Got a new FB page up and running for Rawkstars yesterday. I also started a simple space for this blog. I published a new post yesterday and it felt good to again, crank something out there. My writing is slowly improving and most importantly, I’m enjoying the process. I am going to archive the existing RS group at some point soon so we can start with a clean slate of publishing news about RS 2.0 and getting people to subscribe. Grateful that my energy level for the work is somewhat elevated and little milestones like this are keeping me motivated.
1/12/19: Listened to a ton of music yesterday. Had a slow workday and stashed a few new songs into the pile of possible Shine tracks to learn. Really excited for my new bass, which I’m loving playing, and it’s keeping me more motivated to learn new songs. Grateful that my job allows me freedom to listen to music and feel lucky to work there.
1/11/19: Quincy has been listening to Michael Jackson lately. He got introduced to “Billie Jean” from a sample that Logic rapped over. He’s always been into dancing and last night he showed Lisa and I some MJ moves he’s been copying. He really is a good dancer and tuned into music quite deeply. Grateful to have such a fun, loving, creative son who is maturing into a fine young man.
1/10/19: Met with Jack again last night and had a fantastic conversation. We’re teasing out this concept of leveraging our relationships with the music stores more deeply. The idea is to limit the variables we encounter when enrolling students by ensuring we partner only with stores that support the program requirements we outline. It would make billing, attendance and reporting much more doable. We also want to use the host facilities to help us find worthy kids and families as well as leverage their performance spaces and co-market to their customers. I think there is a lot of potential in this approach and it was an organic offshoot of our conversation. Grateful that we hooked up and that I’ve been able to work with someone on these ideas over the last few months.
1/9/19: Received my new Gretsch bass in the mail last night. It’s absolutely gorgeous and I love it! Played beautifully right out of the box and looks even better than the pictures. I spent maybe 30 minutes with it and am really thankful that I was able to afford something so nice. I also booked a family vacation to Miami yesterday. It checks all the boxes of beach, ease of travel, relatively affordable and city oriented. I think that everyone is going to really enjoy it and again, thankful I am in a position to afford something so luxurious for us.
On a simpler note, I ran out of coffee at my desk and my neighbor, Katy, offered me some of hers. She is a super generous person (not just with her coffee 🙂 and I enjoy connecting with her at least a little bit each day. Grateful to have people around me that are genuine, caring and fun to be around.
1/8/19: Watched the College Football Championship last night. Game was exciting, at least until Clemson ran away with it. More grateful about the conversation Lisa and I were having. We talked about a lot of possible scenarios with regards to our living situation. We (I) often discuss moving and traveling and changing lifestyle’s. We thought a bit about what it might look like to live in one of our investment properties, and taking up residence in the Providence condo. The conversation was fun, but it reminded me about how many options we have and how fortunate we are to have them. Not sure what the future holds, of course, but it’s nice to think that we could see a scenario where we can live much more cheaply than we do today.
1/7/19: Weekend plans included a gig down in Providence on Friday night to see some Hasbro friends perform. It was the first time I had seen any of them play outside of the work events and we had a good time. Lisa tagged along with me and we went to Oyster Bar afterward, one of our favorite haunts. Grateful to see live music, connect with friends and have a great meal with Lisa.
Saturday we attended a 50th bday party for Jeanine, who has been in a relationship with our old friend Al Koss, seemingly forever. We saw some friends and I got to converse and spend time with a few folks I don’t see that often. Yesterday, I spent the day cooking and taking care of the family. Made a nice breakfast and used the fast cooker to make pulled pork and rice/beans for dinner. Cam came and ate with us and brought dessert. He’s a nice kid and I’m thankful that Bella continues to make good choices in her relationships.
1/4/19: Took the opportunity last night to do pushups while watching tv. I’ve done that in the past and told Lisa prior to New Years that it was something I wanted to get into my regular routine. We watched a new show by The Rock that’s an over the top fitness competition. During the show, I got up at each commercial break and did 12 pushups. It felt good and kept me moving. Grateful that I had the mindfulness to push myself in the moment and take positive action.
1/3/19: Re-entry at Hasbro yesterday. It was actually nice to be back in some sort of schedule. I appreciated having the break and shift in perspective and it also made me more aware of my positive situation at the office. I also connected last night with Paul Lourenco, about playing some drums in my new incarnation of Shine. He is going to jam with Chuck, Anthony, Jim, Lisa and I next month and we’ll see how things go. Once again, grateful at the talented friends I have and their confidence and willingness to play music with me. Looking forward to trying something a bit different and learning and connecting with some new folks.
1/2/19: Watched Bird Box with the family last night. We also had breakfast and dinner together. It was nice to spend most of the last day of our winter break together at the house. I am genuinely grateful for the times we have together. Simple pleasures like togetherness, sharing meals, laughing and just being together are really the best.
1/1/19: NYE. Spent the evening with Lisa, Q, Lynne and Jack. Grateful we’ve become friends with those guys the last year or so. They’re a good couple who like to have fun and I enjoy connecting with them. Jack is a successful business owner and I think there is a lot I can learn from him. Lynne is a successful athlete and I know there are things I can learn from her. We had plenty of food, of course, and listened to music most of the night. Sometime after 11pm we started watching the Stooges marathon, which is a New England tradition. Quincy really liked it and was laughing along with us. Thankful to have such a loving son with a good sense of humor, and who still enjoys spending time with us.
