Grateful – 2018

I use this space to write about things I am grateful for on a daily basis.  I try to identify something that happened the prior day as a reminder of all the amazing people, activities and experiences I am blessed to enjoy.  The format is loose but the intention is to develop a habit of gratitude to better frame my day.  Most days, my morning routine includes a short meditation and/or stretching, drinking a glass of water with a multi-vitamin, making a pot of strong, black coffee, and writing a brief note to add to the list below.

12/31/18:  NEW YEAR’S POST – As 2018 ends, I figured it makes some sense to recap and look back at just a few of the things I’m grateful for in the past year.

1 — Launched this blog!  Had been thinking about it literally for years and finally took the leap.

2 — Developed a writing habit.  In addition to the 11 posts, I managed to start a (mostly) daily habit of writing in this space.  It’s been gratifying to accomplish this, improve my writing as well as my ability to set and reach goals for myself.

3 — Health remains solid.  While I regularly lament areas of my health that are not ideal, I can’t overlook the fact that I managed a pretty healthy 2018.  No major injuries, illnesses or setbacks.  My weight is in the same ballpark as last year, even a few lbs. down.

4 — It was a good year musically.  WB came to an unceremonious end, but we finished on a high note with probably our best live gig in the few years we performed together.  I learned a lot from that experience and enjoyed it greatly.  I put together mk. 2 of the Shine project and played with an awesome lineup at the most fun live gig I ever did as a bassist. Mk. 3 of Shine is already taking shape and I’m hoping to continue evolving my playing with some new chemistry and personalities involved.  I also put together and finished a cool recording project with Bella and Lisa, that included Jim Matheos on guitar.  Really strong outcome and I’m proud to have completed that project.

5 — Family continued to be a source of joy and support for me.  The kids grew and matured immensely this year and Bella has entered the college transition phase.  She has a boy that she has been spending lots of time with, named Cam.  He seems like a really sweet kid and it’s been nice seeing her happy in that way.  She asked for (and received) a raise at Subway.  She deserved it greatly but I was most impressed with how she handled it and I was happy to be able to coach her through that life lesson.  She also handled a difficult relationship with her former bff, Kearsten.  Quincy built/strengthened some solid relationships with kids like Seth, Cam, Josh, Daris and others.  He’s grown a lot physically as well and is maturing emotionally every day.  He even told me a few times that he meditated 🙂 . He is exceptional in school, and will be transitioning himself to High School this year.  He’s officially taller than Lisa!

Lisa and I weathered some financial storms as we dealt with a series of expenses on the home front and with the rentals.  We bought a new A/C, new furnace, refrigerator, Disney trip for Bella’s band, $2500 towards Randy’s legal bills, gaming PC for Quincy and replaced my car and repaired a foundation crack to name a few. Lisa picked up a part time job at Target, and it’s been helping keep our bills at bay.

6 — Work was a year of treading water, at least until Thanksgiving.  I’ve got some new opportunities ahead and am starting the year fresh with a new boss, department and a bit of motivation to make something happen this year.  I feel better about being at Hasbro than I have in a little while and hope this is the year I make Director.

7 — Rawkstars celebrated its 15th anniversary.  No small feat.  We had our 1st road race and another huge event at The Narrows.  We helped a few new kids and families along the way and kept our existing students humming along.  I’ve got lots of ambitions around the next incarnation of the charity and am entering 2019 with more momentum and energy than I’ve had for it in quite some time.

8 — Travel.  We had to forego our usual winter vacation planning cycle, but I’m happy that we got through the year without increasing our debt.  We managed a family trip early in the year to Playa Del Carmen and a weekend later in the year to NYC.  Bella was able to tag along with me to San Antonio/Austin after I took Q to San Francisco late last year.  Lisa and I took off to New Orleans for a quick getaway and although the weather was awful, we enjoyed some down time together, ate like kings and saw some killer live music.

12/31/18:  Had a nice, mellow day at home preparing food and generally taking it slow.  I spent some time on the computer mapping some of the screens I’ll need for the Rawkstars 2.0 management portal.  It’s an overdue exercise and I’m grateful to have at least gotten started on it.  Watched the Pats game and did pushups as each score happened.  Cooked steel cut oats for breakfast, salad and homemade mushrooms for lunch and my first try using the instant pot with seafood paella for dinner.  Everything was delicious and healthy.  Grateful to have amazing food options all around me.

12/29/18:  Grateful I got to the gym yesterday for a run.  Grateful I spent a few hours last night with my neighbor/friend, Dave Purdy.  We discussed the development of the Rawkstars platform and he’s offering his help in getting something stood up.  Spent some downtime with Quincy and Bella separately, though we didn’t make it out of the house as it poured all day.  I made stuffed mushrooms (finally) and they came out pretty decent.  Discussed my new music project ideas with Chuck + Anthony Giambusso, who both seem into doing it with me.  I also phoned up Jim Cannon, an old singer friend of mine and he also is on board to give it a go.  Thankful to have so many cool friends willing to make music together and put their confidence in my vision.  Need to find a drummer/percussionist next and we’ll be ready to try it on.

12/28/18:  Did a second hike with Q yesterday.  Nice to get out with him again and enjoy the outdoors.  Grateful for the extra time we’ve had together during this break from work.  Enjoyed a second consecutive day of healthy eating and am feeling better.  It’s true that you are always ‘one meal away’ from turning around your health.  Practiced my bass and have a few new songs that are coming together nicely.  Going to begin the process of assembling my next ‘band/project’ and looking to do an acoustic/electric set of classic rock/metal covers with some new folks.  I want it to sound naturally warm and acoustic but have an edge with electric guitars where needed.  Low volume so the vox can really shine with minimal amplification.

Got some productive work done with our basement crack and have the area prepped and scheduled for repair next week.  Expensive, but hopeful it will put an end to the stress of having water seep into the laundry room.  Grateful to have the resources to take care of my home.

12/27/18:  Yesterday, I dragged Quincy out of the house.  He’s a homebody.  I exercised in the morning for the first time in a while and felt like continuing to move.  He argued against it for a while but eventually relented.  It was mature on his part, and I was pumped he decided to come along.  I told him I wanted to go hike at Massasoit Park and get some fresh air.  We bundled up, because it was fairly cold and headed out.  We went out on a new trail and started going up towards Lake Rico lookout.  The sun was setting and it was pretty beautiful, but obscured a lot by trees.  I took a few pics.  As we were coming back around, he suggested we go off the trail and try to get close to the lake edge, where we were throwing rocks.  I kinda hesitated but eventually relented, remembering what he had done earlier.  We trucked down the hill and wound up in the most beautiful spot where the sunset was glorious.  I took a bunch more pics and Q was tossing big rocks onto the ice, to smash it.  It was an amazing example of going with the flow as we both got a bit out of our comfort zone.  We wound up having a really cool experience together and even talked about that aspect in the car.  We then headed over to Starbucks and got hot chocolate and green tea, respectively.  Super grateful and it was probably the best part of my winter vacation so far.

12/26/18:  Spent Christmas day over at the Bentos.  Overate, of course.  Gave the kids some gifts they enjoyed.  We got Q a new monitor for his PC, some concert shirts (wu-tang was his fave :), tix to see Impractical Jokers ‘live’ and some cash.  We gave Bella some clothes, sneakers, makeup, tix to see Waitress and money.  I am indeed grateful to be able to buy things for the kids.  I’m also grateful that they really don’t need anything and seem to understand that there are people in the world who could never buy those things for themselves or their families.  We are all genuinely blessed to have more than what we need and also to share some of it with others.

12/25/18:  Last night was Christmas Eve and we hung out had a nice dinner and then played some board games.  Wits and Wagers, specifically.  It’s fun and anyone can win.  Q knocked over a cup of hot tea I was drinking and I didn’t yell.  I’ve been somewhat on edge lately and struggling with being in a joyful state.  My eating (of course!) has a lot to do with it and I’m continuing to overindulge daily.  Watched a really funny movie with Lisa and Q called Cock Blockers.  Yeah, I know.  It was actually quite hilarious and we all had a ton of laughs.  Grateful to spend time like that together.

12/24/18:  Spent a few hours with Ed Keefe working through setting up a new accounting package.  I’m a bit overwhelmed with trying to sort out a new package that can integrate with other biz apps.  Ed gave me some help and we chatted, ate homemade pizza and got a new chart of accounts and beginning balances all setup.  Grateful when someone offers me a hand.  Collaborating on the business side of RS is something I really enjoy and crave more of.

12/23/18:  Q had a holiday party at the house and invited a bunch of his buds.  Always nice to see him socializing and he seems to thrive when in a group setting.  He bought secret santa gifts for his friends, cleaned the house, made snacks and curated a playlist of course.  Grateful to see him maturing and being such a generous host.  He really has a big heart and genuinely enjoys playing host in situations like this.  Proud of him.

12/22/18: Had a couple beers with Kevin Curran yesterday.  Was a good opportunity to catch up with an old friend who I haven’t seen much recently.  We talked about the kids, music and life in general.  We exchanged Xmas gifts as we have a tradition of doing that.  I gave him an Accept book and he gave me a bottle of tequila, plus a check for Rawkstars.  Always enjoy connecting with someone on a 1:1 level like that and feel like I’d enjoy more of that in my life.

Also delivered a recliner that we bought for Randy for XMas.  I dropped by his place and put it together for him.  He was grateful and it was nice to spend a bit of time with him, even though it was a much less comfortable conversation than described above with Kevin.  I am thankful that we are in position to assist him in some tiny way as he really doesn’t have much in his world.

12/21/18:  Met Aiden yesterday at TJ’s Music.  He’s our newest student and is absolutely cute as hell with an electric personality.  He came down with Roxanne, his teacher, who brought him to our attention.  His mom also came down and was very thankful and sweet.  He ran around the store and fingered dozens of instruments and really seemed to have a ton of energy and excitement about music.  He drew us a picture of himself on stage, which was super sweet.  So very grateful to be able to experience stuff like this semi-regularly.  I also invited Jack down, and he was able to meet the family as well.  I’m thankful for the momentum and renewed purpose around Rawkstars and super excited about continuing on the path towards RS 2.0 over the next several months.

12/19/18:  Sent out blog post #11 yesterday.  Felt good to get back in the saddle in terms of writing/publishing.  Response was much smaller than my last few, but I need to learn to be ok with that.  I want to write for the sake of writing and not for external validation.  Grateful that I got something churned out and that I continue to learn and grow as a result of my effort.

12/18/19:  Resolved the issue with the blog by reinstalling the ‘classic’ WordPress editor.  Not ideal, but at least I am up and running again.  Probably need to figure out how to resolve this, which may involve switching hosts or moving away from WP altogether.  Challenge for another day and grateful that I am adept enough at technology and problem solving to move past it for now.

Had coffee this morning with my old friend Moe.  He’s such a great guy and I genuinely love spending time with him.  The last few years we’ve been meeting this time of year so Rawkstars can make a donation for the Boys & Girls Club that he supports through his work at care.com.  I dropped off a bass amp, some ukes and headphones.  He, in turn, made a generous donation to Rawkstars.  Win-win-win.

Saw Bella in her winter band concert last night.  They are quite amazing and they sounded better than ever.  I think I will miss seeing her perform in this setting after High School, but look forward to seeing her ‘perform’ in other areas of life.

12/9/18:  50th bday for our cousin Imran last night at his apartment building in Watertown.  Always grateful for time with the Portuguese family.  They are such a fun, loving crowd.  I tend to overindulge when around them, but managed to (mostly) stay away from the booze (at least).  Mindful eating is near impossible for me when I’m around party spreads.  Grateful that today is a new opportunity to return to healthy form.

12/8/18:  Met a nice gentleman last night as I sold a digital piano on craigslist.  He came to the house and we talked for a while about music and kids, etc.  He downplayed his chops but ran the keyboard through the paces and I thought he was a more than solid player.  Always grateful to touch base with folks I don’t know over the topic of music.

Had a great dinner last night at Al Forno, one of our Providence staples.  Bella came out with us which is less frequent that I might like and it was great to have her along.  We ate a healthy meal of clams in a spicy broth, mushroom/shrimp salad and of course a brick oven pizza they are famous for.  I got myself to the gym this morning to keep from spiraling after a little overindulging/drinking.  Thankful for a pretty open day today and my goal is to get a bit of time on my bass.  Haven’t played since the gig last weekend and I want to keep some momentum going.

12/6/18:  Grateful again for a decent week of eating well.  My exercise has been down but I am feeling solid and putting good things into my body.  My weight continues to be a bit of a surprise, as I clocked in at 234, which is the lowest I’ve weighed in a couple years.  Oddly, I don’t feel quite as light and don’t feel that I “look” that weight.  Not sure if my body is changing or if it’s something mental.  That said, I’m happy to have some momentum towards getting smaller.  As I age my body is less able to handle the drag I’ve placed on it with so many excess pounds.  It’s something I need to get more serious about.

12/5/18:  As mentioned yesterday, I had lunch with Jack.  It was a super positive meeting and I really enjoyed his company.  We talked about my vision for transitioning Rawkstars away from an organic fundraising outfit to something more sustainable and growth oriented.  I get so much energy when I connect with someone who understands and adds valuable insight to this kind of conversation.  I followed up with him last night and am hopeful we can begin working together more formally.  Ideally, he’ll come on as a board member and I can restructure the organization to begin the next phase of our journey.  We also had an amazingly tasty/healthy meal at Garden Grille, my favorite local vegan restaurant.

12/4/18:  Yesterday morning, I got a message from Ted Fischer.  Ted and I became friendly at Hasbro and through Year Up.  He was chairman of the board for YU and a senior exec here at Hasbro.  He left last year to start his own business based on the product team he led here.  Great guy and of course, plays music.  He introduced me to an ex-Hasbro marketing guy named Jack, who also is a musician.  Apparently they met and were talking about Rawkstars and Ted suggested we connect.  I’m going to have lunch with Jack today and am really excited.  I have a lot of new thoughts about where to take Rawkstars and to pull it off I’m going to need help.  I need someone who can partner with me on both strategy and execution and am hopeful this new connection might help take us in that direction.  Really thankful that others are thinking about RS separately from me and that they are moved enough about it to tell others.

12/3/18: Still basking in the post gig glow.  Tons of powerful feedback online and personally from folks who attended.  Additionally, a few people put together fundraisers that really helped bolster our financials.  Dave Malekpour and David Coppins both did online charitable efforts and raised about $1200 together.  Chuck Thibault raised $100 and Sue Kast came through (again) with a $500 mini grant from BCBS.  After we pay all our expenses and catching up on bills, I anticipate starting the new year with about $40k in the Rawkstars account.  Pretty solid and something I’m proud as fuck about.

12/2/18:  Well, that was amazing.  Last night was the long awaited Rawkstars 15th anniversary gig.  We had an impressive turnout with about 350+, and I think it was a bit more than last year.  Not sure it would be possible to quantify the positive energy in the room and the vibe of pure love, without spending hours and many paragraphs.  Since that isn’t what this space is intended for, I’ll hit on a few highlights.

Homer Stevens:  kid is amazingly talented and charismatic.  I had him all setup to play a tune on the side stage.  After I plugged him in he looked at me and said he wanted to speak to the crowd and pointed to the main stage.  I said, ok let’s do it.  He proceeded to plug the CD he recorded himself, on his own label and sold it to someone for $5.  I was blown away by him.

Juli, Wander, Stian:  They were AWESOME.  They came a long way and really embraced the idea of speaking to the crowd.  Stian spoke eloquently about MedRhythms and our partnership.  Wander gave Juli’s backstory and I was in tears.  Juli even took the mic briefly and said “thank you” to everyone.  Afterward we took some pics together and hugged.  So fucking heartwarming.

RS All-Stars:  Anthony, Noah, Alex and Bella.  What can I say other than people were blown away, especially by Bella’s voice and stage presence.  She is an absolute powerhouse.  The idea that 3 friends I’ve known for 30+ years are still in my life, have kids of their own, that each play separate instruments, got together and learned Dio/Alice Cooper/Dorothy and performed at our event is mind boggling.  I wanted to get a photo with all the kids and the dads but lost track of things and didn’t make that happen, unfortunately.

Shine:  First time I’ve performed with a band onstage in about 10 months.  Felt KILLER.  My personal performance was not spectacular, in that I made a handful of mistakes on parts I knew inside and out.  That said we had a very strong connection and energy and the crowd was super responsive.  The song selections resonated just as I hoped and we had a genuine joy collectively that I haven’t felt since playing music in a band setting.  Lisa and B joined us for Wasted Years and Still Loving You.  They are so good together and brought the performance up a level.  It was for sure my best experience playing with a live band all around and something I will never, ever forget.

11/30/18:  Grateful for my improved eating lately.  One thing I’ve learned on the path to better health over these last 8+ years is that no matter how poorly you feel, you’re only one meal away from turning things around.  My pendulum still swings like everyone else’s, but the swath is much tighter.  I’ve gotten much better at catching myself after short periods of inactivity/poor eating and mustering the ability to compensate with periods of well being.  My clothes are fitting better and I feel better about the way I look and feel.

11/29/18:  Had some cool experiences at work yesterday.  Ran a little workshop discussing Agile with a mixed crowd of practitioners and team members.  Since the re-org at Hasbro, I’ve been given more leeway to carve a new path forward with Agile.  We are coming together as a team to discuss and implement some new strategies, in partnership with some new teams.  It’s exciting and makes me more hopeful about my future at the company and level of fulfillment from my day job.

Also attended a meeting where a business customer gushed about the level of service and tools they received from the Analytics group.  I’ve only recently started working with them, but they are a very cool, smart crew of people and it was refreshing to see the business reflect back such a success story.  Too often we forget why we are here at the office and it felt good to start my day with some different perspective.

11/28/18:  Last night was the final rehearsal for ‘Shine’ heading into the Rawkstars event this weekend.  It was really productive even though Wabrek wasn’t able to attend.  We had Lisa and Bella contribute harmony vox to “Still Loving You”, which helped immensely.  Bella and Lisa also sang together on “Wasted Years”.  Bella wasn’t as prepared and on point as I had hoped, but I know from experience that I don’t need to worry or focus on that aspect and it’s ok to let her be herself.  Really grateful that I’ve been able to learn that lesson.  It’s freeing and a better experience for both of us.

Also grateful that these guys agreed to be part of the project.  They all contributed a lot of energy, work and personal time to make it happen.  It’s another bit of forward momentum for me in my musical journey.  Playing with such a talented group of players pushes me to improve and prepare.  As we were playing last night, I had a mini-revelation about my meter.  I’ve gotten to a point with the songs where I am pretty comfortable with the playing and arrangements.  That has opened my ears to the finer points of timing and I was noticing how much room for improvement I have in that area.  It’s little things like that which only come from experience and I’m thankful it’s something I now have in my consciousness.

11/27/18:  This week there has been a swarm of activity ramping up towards the Rawkstars 15th anniversary gig on Saturday night.  We are selling a fair amount of tickets and lots of people are posting and talking about it online.  Two old friends of mine, Dave Malekpour and David Coppins, both created fundraisers as part of #givingtuesday.  It really is humbling to see how people are moved by what Rawkstars does.  I heard from Kevin Lowe, our first student, who will be attending the gig.  I also spoke with Wander, brother of Juli Cedano, who we sponsor for music therapy.  They will be coming to the show and speaking to the crowd about how RS has affected Juli and her recovery.  I can already tell it will be an emotional night for me and I am so very thankful to be blessed with such supportve people at every turn.

11/26/18:  Went to the gym yesterday morning with Bella.  She suggested it the night before that we do a short run.  It was raining so we did a treadmill session and aimed to hit our respective personal bests.  I did a 9:45 mile, which is awesome for me.  It was really nice going with B and doing it together.

I spent most of the day shopping for food and cooking.  I took Q to the grocery store, which gave us some time together.  It’s really cool when I get some alone time and he is engaged with helping on stuff like that.  After we got home, I made a corn chowder, which turned out really delicious.  I also roasted some root vegetables with seasoning that were hearty and healthful.  Grateful for a solid week of food, eating and exercise.  I’m feeling better and aiming to continue the momentum into this week.

11/24/18:  Had the day off yesterday.  Lisa worked a long shift at her part-time Target gig and Bella went shopping with friends.  Q and I were home most of the day.  I found the source of the basement leak we’ve been dealing with by cutting away a section of sheetrock, which exposed the foundation crack.  It’s going to be a process now to fix, but I was happy to stop procrastinating on that task.  I also had a nice meditation session and have been generally improving my daily routine lately.  Eating well and continuing to prepare wholesome food and respect my body by not continually overeating.

Grateful for the down time and for having a wife willing to work extra to help out the family finances.

11/23/18:  Thanksgiving yesterday.  Always a great day and we spent it, per usual, at the Bento’s to start.  Great food of course, and Steve and Teresa joined again this year along with Rob, Kelly and the boys.  So much to be thankful for.  I started reading a Thich Nat Hanh book called How To Love and want to share an excerpt here.

If you put a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable.  If you pour the same handful of salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash and drink.  The river is immense and has the capacity to receive, embrace and transform the salt.  When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited.  And we suffer.  We can’t accept or tolerate others, their shortcomings, or even our own.  We demand that they change.  But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore.  We have enough understanding and compassion to embrace others.  We accept them as they are and allow the chance to transform.

So the big question is how do we help our hearts grow?

11/21/18:  Yesterday was a day of connecting.  I had planned a ‘Worksgiving” pot luck lunch at Hasbro with some friends.  We invited the new teams together to cook, eat and bring donations for the RI Food Bank.  A ton of people were ooo, due to the company giving us an extra day off this week, but we had about 25 people turn out.  It was great fun and we brought about a dozen big bags of groceries to the Food Bank.  One co-worker in particular, Katy Waldron, brought what must have been well over $100 of items herself.  Witnessing such generosity is most definitely something I’m thankful for.

Before the lunch, I got a random text from Rich Spillberg, one of my oldest and dearest friends.  We don’t see each other that much these days, as he is on the road much of the year working.  That said, we have a strong connection and seeing him reach out made me smile.  Turns out he had a few days at home in between gigs and asked if I wanted to hookup.  Hell yeah!  After the Hasbro lunch event, I went over and we met at a falafel joint on the East Side and then went for a beer around the corner at a Greek bar.  Was great to catch up and we talked about music, work, family, kids, money, real estate and had some laughs.  He also asked about our upcoming Rawkstars gig and turns out, he’s gonna be in town that night.  He’s going to join “Shine” on stage for the Scorpions song we are doing and I was beside myself with joy just thinking about it.  Richie is without question one of the best musicians I know and it will be a real honor to do a tune with him on stage after all these years of friendship.

I also chatted by phone with Dave DiCenso, also about the gig.  Dave is another guy I don’t connect with much in recent years, but also a pre-eminent musician and cool guy.  We chatted about the kids, work, Boston commuting and music.  I realized how much I missed talking with him.  Usually, we’ll only see each other at a gig.  Not a good backdrop for really connecting with someone.  It felt good to talk for 30 minutes.

Grateful for spending time with old and newer friends yesterday and for our mutual connections over food, music and charity.

11/20/18:  Listened to a podcast on Functional Medicine.  It’s something I’ve been learning about for a little while, but never knew had that specific name.  I like the idea of approaching healthcare from the perspective of prevention, identifying upstream causes and taking responsibility for my lifestyle.  I did a little digging into practitioners and talked with Lisa about it.  I might try and schedule a consult with one in the coming weeks and give it a chance to see how it goes.  Thankful to live in a time when resources like that are available and even how technology allows me to learn about these topics and read up on them.

11/19/18:  Back at work today after almost 10 days off.  Never fails that whenever you return to the office after vacation, it’s nearly impossible not to feel some regret.  Being away gives you a view into a different life.  Not one that’s necessarily sustainable in terms of nonstop vacation, but just a perspective shift that being in a different place, doing something else, is possible.  That usually leads to regret and a feeling of malaise.  I’m no different.  I’ve got a short week here with Thanksgiving coming up, so I’m trying to focus on the fact that I’m lucky to have a profitable, productive job and do what I can to embrace those things.  I’m also thankful to have gotten through yesterday without feeling out of control.  I ate well, prepared some healthy food, practiced my bass, meditated and exercised for a while.

11/18/18: Had the apple pie bake-off yesterday.  Always a fun, but gluttonous time.  Bella and I worked on a pie together and although we didn’t win, we both were happy with the results.  She did an excellent job decorating the pie and making a braided crust.  I need to find a way to get better at participating and enjoying days like this without turning it into an opportunity to go off the deep end with food and drink.  Left feeling horribly about myself, physically and because of my lack of self-control.  Today is a new day and I am grateful to be alive and given another chance to make positive changes towards the person I want to be.

11/16/18:  Came home from NOLA last night.  Always nice to go away and always nice to come home.  Snowing here already.  Was grateful to see the kids of course and reconnect.  They did a great job, of course, taking care of things at home and with school.  We had a great time on the trip but it took a bit of a toll on my eating/drinking.  Been a rough patch for the last 8 weeks and I continue to stutter, unable to get too much positive momentum.  Still, thankful to have had such a great time away with Lisa in a cool city, with such great music, food and history.

11/14/18:  Another cold, rainy day in New Orleans.  Another amazing musical experience.  We saw Corey Henry and The Funk Apostles at a club called One Eyed Jacks.  I’ve been listening to their music for a few months and saw they were playing in town, so I grabbed tickets online.  I’ve been blessed to attend many amazing gigs in my lifetime and see a ton of bands that really moved me.  Last night was religious.  The band were so on point and the energy they brought was so filling.  I danced in place all night in a room filled with soul, love and positivity.  The rhythm section was absolutely off the hook and the band in its entirety couldn’t have taken us higher.  We bar hopped most of the day since exploring outside is out of the question, given the weather.  Grateful for these experiences with Lisa and to continue the string of musical experiences for the last 3 nights.

11/13/18:  Arrived in NOLA yesterday.  Travel was easy and we are staying at my friend/boss Jen Preston’s condo, right in the French Quarter.  I booked it as a quick/inexpensive getaway for Lisa and I, since money has been somewhat tight this year.  We saw the Preservation Jazz Band last night and they were terrific.  No frills, no PA, no lights, old gear and a room that hasn’t been cleaned or updated in decades.  They were absolute masters of their craft and I felt honored to see them play.  We had an amazing vegetarian meal upon arrival to town and although it’s been rainy and unusually cold, I’m grateful to share this time with Lisa together.

11/12/18:  Took Lisa to see Lake Street Dive at Veterans Memorial in Providence last night.  It was a hectic end to the weekend of Bella’s play.  Lisa went to all 3 shows and I saw 2.  During the show yesterday, I stayed home to get things ready for our vacation.  I bought and installed a new garbage disposal, since our kitchen unit started leaking heavily the day before.  I shopped for some groceries for the kids, went to the bank and filled the hot tub, so it wouldn’t freeze while we were away.

Even though Lisa was a bit stressed about heading out to the gig, she did so without complaining and we had a great time.  The band is excellent live and we have been lucky enough to catch them 3 times now.  We sat dead center in the second row and I got some decent pics.  Truly grateful for all the amazing musical experiences I’ve been fortunate enough to have in life.

11/10/18:  Last night, Bella took the stage as Rosie, the lead role in the Taunton High production of “Bye, Bye Birdie”. Bella has been part of the drama club as long as I can remember and committed an immense amount of work over the years. She’s been on stage singing and performing in various ways, practically since birth. We’ve seen her play many roles and sing many songs, to audiences small and large.

In many ways, last night felt like a swan song. Bella is graduating this year and landed a killer part, well suited to her look, personality and skill. Some of our best friends showed up unexpectedly to cheer her on, making it even more special for all of us.

Bella absolutely crushed it.

There were about 800 people in attendance for opening night and Bella couldn’t have seemed more at home. Her voice was near flawless and she carried herself with the confidence, maturity and swagger befitting a role she’s seemingly prepared for her whole life. She performed alongside her BFF Marcus. They’ve shared a ton of experiences over the years and have a genuine love for each other. Together, they displayed chemistry that was effortless, honest and cute as fucking hell.

At the end of the show, the auditorium erupted when they took a curtain call together. Bella’s smile was absolutely electric. Lisa and I couldn’t have been happier for her. She filled the spotlight that she had worked so hard for and blew us all away with the best performance of her life. I was in tears. I started thinking to myself that it was my proudest moment as Bella’s dad.

Only it wasn’t.

Last year, as a junior, Bella tried out for the lead in Beauty & The Beast. In her mind, she was destined to play the role of her namesake, Belle. I can recall countless hours watching the Disney movie with her as a little girl. She knew the story, songs and all the lines by heart. From the moment it was announced, she was on a mission to land the role of a lifetime.

Everyone told her she was perfect for it. Everyone told her she embodied the part. She knew the material inside and out. She sang the songs like a bird. She even looked like Belle. After tryouts, she holed up in her room refreshing the call back list nonstop, waiting for confirmation of what she knew in her heart was a foregone conclusion.

Only it wasn’t.

She didn’t get the part.

Not only that, she was relegated to a bit role that felt more like a slap in the face. She took it really hard. She cried alone in her room. As parents, Lisa and I were devastated. How could they pick anyone else to play Belle? It wasn’t fair. She deserved it.

After exactly one night of feeling sorry for herself, Bella got it together. She attended drama practice and supported her friend, who had been chosen for the lead role. She never complained and moved on with grace and ease. She gave the drama club just as much energy as she always had. She never looked back or expressed any regret.

It would have been easy, even expected, to feel jealousy. It would have been easy to mail it in, and not commit the hours and effort required to make the show a success. It would have been easy to be bitter about the small role she was given.

Only she wasn’t.

Looking back, that was my proudest moment as Bella’s dad.

11/9/18:  Last night was Lisa’s birthday.  Quincy and I took her out for a burger, one of her favorite meals.  Nothing fancy, but it was nice to spend some time together.  Bella wasn’t able to join, since she is working late all week for the upcoming production of Bye, Bye Birdie.  That said, Bella called her during the afternoon and invited her to connect over lunch break.  Q also sandbagged her at the restaurant by telling the waitress privately that it was her birthday.  He also approached me the night before about giving him money to buy tickets for Lisa and I to see “Kiss” as a present to his mom.  I explained that it was a sweet thought but not necessary.  The fact that we are tight on money and have almost no desire to see the current incarnation of the band, aside.  Was nice to see the kids be so thoughtful and make Lisa feel special on her day.  Really grateful for the fact both of the kids have big hearts and aren’t afraid to demonstrate it!

11/8/18:  Had a great conversation with my old friend Ed Keefe, who is also our accountant.  We discussed selling one of our rental properties, which Lisa and I have been considering.  Always learn something and see a new angle when we talk about these things.  I am grateful anytime I have meaningful conversations where I learn.  I know it feels the same for Ed, and we both enjoy the chance to connect on a topic we both enjoy.

Today is Lisa’s 48th bday.  Excited for her to have some attention and feel special.  She deserves that and I’m already looking forward to getting home from work.  I’ve got a surprise gift for her and will be taking her to see Lake Street Dive on Sunday night, sitting right up front.

11/7/18:  Briefly saw Mikey last night after he dropped off Q from spending the day with Wyatt and some other kids.  Was nice to catch up.  We talked about the Sox win, college and life in general.

Had a terrific meal for dinner.  Lisa has been on a roll lately making some awesome dishes.  Last night we had slow cooked brisket with a crispy blue cheese celery/broccoli salad.  Truly grateful for all the awesome food in my life.

Had some really positive conversations with folks at the office.  I connected on a personal level with at least 3 people and dug in deep on a few conversations, both about work and life in general.  I honestly love people and spending time with folks, especially 1:1, is something that brings me joy.

11/6/18:  Had a visit last night from our nephew, Wyatt.  Mikey, Alyssa and Abi are all in town for a couple days but I wasn’t able to see them as of yet.  I got home from work and Q was in his room with WB whopping it up.  I really enjoy spending time with him and we chatted quite a bit.  He’s easy to make laugh and a laid back kid, so we always connect easily.  I know Q was happy to spend time with him and they have a whole day together planned for today.  Grateful to have some really cool kids as part of my family and I enjoy seeing them grow up.

11/5/18:  Enjoyed a solid day of mindful eating yesterday and included some exercise.  First time in a while that I’ve felt energized physically and grateful to have taken care of my body, at least for one day.  I need to make progress in this area as it continues to be a struggle.

Did a ton of fall cleanup in the yard with some help from Lisa and Q.  It was great to do it as a family and it looked much better after we finished up.  Simply being outdoors, moving and doing something productive is always a great way to spend time.  Quincy has helped the last few weeks and I think he’s also seeing that it’s not such a horrible thing to put effort into.

Came to an early decision about selling our condo at PV.  Had been thinking about it for several weeks and talked it through with Lisa.  With the college stuff on the horizon and some other financial considerations, I think the time is right to move on from that investment.  I sometimes need to remind myself that we originally got into this business in order to set ourselves up for a time when we needed the money.  It’s not there to simply be looked at on paper.  I am genuinely happy to be in a position to help the kids out financially with school and set them up for success.  We still have other investments in our own retirement and this is a good way to balance the benefits for the entire family overall.

11/4/18: Shine had another rehearsal yesterday, our best yet.  Cid couldn’t make it so Joe, Mike, Paul and I really combed through the tunes with a focus on the arrangements, transitions, feel and other small details.  It was very productive and we sounded pretty solid.  I recently had my bass setup, cleaned and re-strung.  It sounded and played amazing and I was feeling strong and loose throughout the practice.  It really is an honor to play with such great musicians and it’s helping me feel more confident in my own playing.  I’m even considering taking some lessons this winter to see if it helps me push myself to another level of connecting dots.

Later in the evening, we went out with Lisa’s band mates and spouses to see the Queen movie.  It was a blast!  We had a few drinks at the theater bar before the flick and had some laughs and talked.  We ran into Chris Gallivan and also saw Q’s friend Josh’s parents.  The movie was entertaining, and of course the music was awesome.  While I was never a huge Queen fan, Freddie was a transcendent artist and one of the greatest musicians of his generation.  In fact, being a more casual fan probably lent itself to enjoying the film and not worrying about all the small details they inflated or left out of the story.

We got home and Lisa had made a Portuguese soup that simmered all day.  It was incredible!  She also made homemade salad dressing which was equally tasty.  I feel so lucky to have a wife who is so talented in the kitchen.  My love of food is well documented and it brings me great joy to have such delicious, nutritious and lovingly prepared meals right in my own home.

11/1/18:  Yesterday was the first Halloween since we’ve been parents that we didn’t take at least one kid out trick or treating.  Bella stopped doing that years ago, but typically had some type of party with her friends.  The last several years, Lisa and I would take Quincy out to collect candy, usually at the bird lanes or Powhattan Village, both bastions of single family homes and kids.  Even though Q is only 12, he said he was too old for it this year.  Instead, he invited his buddy Seth over and they watched Saw and Friday the 13th (the OG original, of course :).  I always enjoyed taking him out to get candy, but it was also nice to spend the night at home.  Lisa bought them a big pile of candy and I made them pizza and popcorn while they watched the movies.  It was a different way to spend Halloween but I was thankful for being home, indoors with the boys.  I scared the crap out of Seth at one point as I snuck up the stairs and put my hand on his shoulder suddenly!

10/31/18:  Went and visited Bella at Subway last night after dinner.  As I started to write yesterday, we had something of a disagreement, stemming from the whole college process thing.  I knew she would be home late and wanted to clear the air before we ended the day.  We had a nice conversation in which I apologized, explained my POV and listened to her side with an open mind.  Grateful to be able to be open with her and communicate proactively and honestly.  She is a great kid and I am fortunate for sure.

10/30/18:  Learned about a friend’s blog yesterday through an organic conversation at work.  It inspired me a bit on my own writing and caused me to look back at how much I’ve done in getting my own up and running.  I tend to focus on the limits of my skills and accomplishments, rather than the breadth of them.  Since July, I launched this blog, published 9 articles and have cultivated a near daily habit of capturing things I’m grateful for in this space.  Earlier in the year, I would have considered that a huge win, but recently I’ve been lamenting my inability to make more progress on writing.  I’m grateful the conversation I had yesterday with Dan Gaspar gave me some needed perspective.

Had something of an argument last night with Bella.  The stress and pressure of the college thing got the best of both of us.  I lost my temper and made her feel badly.  I wound up heading downstairs to extricate myself from the situation and not make things worse.  Not ideal, but I suppose I’m grateful for being able to diminish the tension by simply walking away.  Not ideal, but sometimes you need to look for the positive when it’s hard to find.

10/29/18:  Sox win!  Last night they closed out LA in 5 games in what was a really dominant post-season performance.  They beat the Yankees, Astros and Dodgers; arguably the 3 next best teams in baseball and did it handily in each series.  It was a top to bottom effort with every player on the roster playing his part.  Really happy for the city and just amazed at the run for Boston sports teams.  As someone who derives enjoyment from the drama of sports, I really am grateful to have been alive during such an historic run of success for the locals.

Attended a Halloween party on Saturday and saw some old friends that I don’t catch up with as often.  It was nice to literally be out of character for a couple hours and have some fun.

My eating continues to be an issue and that’s one area I’m really struggling with the last couple of weeks.

Yesterday, Bella rehearsed with Noah, Anthony and Alex to prepare a few songs for the Rawkstars 15th anniversary bash.  It’s a bit surreal to have her hanging with the sons of 3 guys I’ve collectively known for nearly 90 fucking years!  I’m grateful they came to our place and that I was able to help them setup and make music together.

10/27/18:  Sox lost an epic game 3 last night in 18 innings!  I made it until the bottom of the 15th and fell asleep at 2:30am.  One of the most exciting games I’ve ever seen.  They played their asses off and had the game nearly won twice.  Cora has managed expertly and with confidence and conviction at every turn.  Really grateful to have such an entertaining series to watch my hometown team in my favorite sport.

We had our hot water tank replaced yesterday.  Latest in a series of expensive events for us this year around homeownership.  In addition, we had a new A/C unit, new refrigerator and a new furnace put in our rental all in the last 6 months.  That said, I am humbled that we have such nice things and are able to take care of them financially when something happens.  It would be easy to be upset about so many bills and our dwindling savings but it’s equally as easy to remind myself how fortunate we are to have all these comforts and be in a position to continue without much change in our daily lives financially.

10/25/18:  After some reflection, I’ve been able to see the positive opportunities for me at work now that the org changes have been outlined.  I had some great conversations around the office and am looking forward to the weeks ahead.  I appreciate the challenge and am grateful to have the chance to make something of the team and responsibilities I’ve been presented with.

Sox won again and are up 2-0 in the World Series.  So very enjoyable to watch the games, feeling the drama along with Lisa in the evenings.

10/23/18:  Yesterday was a day of emotional pendulum swinging for me.  Hasbro had layoffs last week and though I survived the cut, we knew that organizational changes were following.  Upon arrival, I learned that my team was being dissolved and pieces were being absorbed into other groups.  None of that was too shocking and probably it’s a healthy change for all of us long term.  I learned that I have a new boss and a new area VP.  It felt like a gut punch initially, then later I settled into it and felt opportunistic.  I swung back mid-day after learning a small piece of what I had hoped for didn’t come to fruition.  I know it was selfish and my ego being bruised.  Still, it feels real, especially in the moment.  It also was painful because that failure forced me to look at my effort level over the last little while and question my commitment, which I know is less than optimal.

I went to the gym after I got home for a decent uphill walk, to clear my head.  I played bass for a while in anticipation of rehearsal tonight with Shine.  I had a tough time sleeping as my brain swirled on things, as it does sometimes.  Today I am feeling more grateful.  I am able to see the changes for what they are instead of what I tell myself they mean.  That doesn’t mean I won’t slip or have other moments of uncertainty and anxiety, I surely will.  That said, I am truly grateful that I’ve developed an ability to breathe through events such as this and come out the other side stronger and more accepting for the next time change happens.

10/21/18:  Red Sox are going to the World Series!  They face the LA Dodgers and game 1 is tomorrow night.  Pumped beyond belief to watch them try for #4 since 2003.

Spent some time working in the yard this weekend for the first time in a few weeks.  Always nice to be outdoors and moving.  I had Quincy out with me doing chores while I tended to the yard.  He isn’t much of an outdoor kid, but I want to keep showing him other sides of life besides video games and his bedroom.  Grateful for any time I have with him where we are doing something together.

Been thinking lately about selling one of our condos and moving the money into a single or multi family home down in the Providence area.  We could use some of the money to pad our reserve accounts, pay off some bills and re-invest the rest where I think the prices are still doable.  Thankful to have many positive financial options and be in a position to help my family both now, and the kids for their future.

10/19/18:  Spoke with my old Year Up mentee Keven Morrison.  He’s a great kid and we haven’t connected in about 18 months or more.  I visited my friend Ted Fischer after work and it made me think of Kev.  I’m hopeful we can grab lunch or coffee soon and that he and his son will perhaps attend the Rawkstars gig in December.  Keven himself is musical and he told me his son is looking for a student trumpet.  I think about volunteering my time more, and connecting with Kev reminds me why it’s important to give back to younger people.

10/18/18:  Sox won another classic last night and are up 3-1 against the Astros.  I didn’t make it til the end of the game as it started at 8:40.  I’m much more of a morning person and am typically in bed by 10:30 most nights.  Really excited they continue to win against such a strong opponent.

Lisa made a delicious codfish dinner last night, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Thankful my wife is such a great cook and enjoys food as much as I do, which is really saying something!  Food is simple, but the essence of life.

10/17/18:  There are layoffs happening at my company.  For the last several days there has been much speculation and hallway conversations, as is the norm when this stuff happens.  I’ve been assured by my boss that I am ‘safe’ as is my team.  I’ve been through layoffs and corporate restructuring many times before so I am not too shaken by the whole process. I’ve proven to myself that I am capable of starting over professionally multiple times.  That said, I am thankful to continue my time with Hasbro and that my family won’t have to worry financially about our trajectory.

Last night the Sox won to take a 2-1 lead in the ALCS vs. Houston.  It’s going to be an epic series with the two best teams in baseball squaring off and I am so excited to have the drama of playoff baseball most nights.

10/16/18:  Lisa started a part time job at Target yesterday.  She has been mostly home and working part-time, basically since the kids were born.  We’ve managed to make it this far financially and it’s been nice to have the balance that comes with having a parent at home.  She’s never been lazy and takes care of a ton of things outside the office, for all of us.  This year, we had lots of added expenses and have started to fall into a tiny hole.  Having her pickup some extra cash is going to help and I’m thankful to have a partner who is willing to do what it takes to keep us in a good spot.

10/15/18:  Rehearsed with the 2018 version of Shine over the weekend.  Was awesome to play music with other people after several months of simply jamming to youtube.  Live energy and volume made me smile.  Songs were loose and not everyone had the arrangements down, but it was great to finally start.  Already looking forward to the next one and truly grateful that I finally started participating in music as a player after a lifetime of every other angle possible.

10/12/18:  Last night Lisa had band practice.  I was home alone and had dinner with Q.  We chatted a bit about Call Of Duty, which is the game he’s been waiting for months that comes out today.  He’s a really smart, loving and sweet kid and I really love the 1:1 time we have.

Bella came home while we were eating and told me that she had just come from having dinner with Kearsten.  Kearsten has been her best friend for the last few years of High School.  A few months ago, they had something of a falling out.  Nothing specific really caused it, but it appeared to be a build-up of small things over time.  Bella was really hurt by the whole incident though unsurprisingly, she handled it about as well as possible.  After a cool period, where they weren’t talking and seemingly had given up on the relationship, Kearsten reached out to Bella via text the night before and they talked it out.  They agreed to have dinner after drama club practice and B said it was really nice and they were able to move on from their personal drama.  I was so very happy for both of them and I know their relationship means a ton.

10/11/18:  Visited UCONN with Bella and Lisa yesterday.  It is an amazing campus and I can totally see Bella in that environment.  That said, the cost is prohibitive and I’m not one to put a strong emphasis on where someone attends college, even my own kid.  The whole experience of this phase of being a parent is really complex.  There are lots of outside pressures on kids to make choices about their future before they are equipped.  The money factor is exorbitant, imo, as much of their future is going to be determined by skills they don’t need to acquire in college.  It creates a gulf between parents and kids as well when you try and align the practical aspects of the decision with a young person who doesn’t come with the life experience to necessarily appreciate those aspects.

It is exciting and I am really proud of Bella in so many ways.  I’m grateful to have a kid that is thoughtful, intelligent and I’m so thankful that she has so much opportunity in front of her.

10/10/18:  Red Sox eliminated the NYY last night in the ALDS.  Always a great time of year for me, being a huge fan of baseball, it makes it that much more sweet when my hometown team advances against their greatest rival.  Grateful to have had so many memorable moments watching Boston sports over the years.  Almost an embarrassment of riches for someone like me who grew up watching all 4 sports so closely.

10/9/18:  Action packed weekend.  Saturday was the 2018 Rawk Run and it was a strong success.  We wound up with 53 runners and the execution was pretty smooth/easy.  Our fundraising is about 20-25% off from the prior 4 years, mostly due to a few defections from the core team.  We had fewer people raising money this year and a couple folks fell well short of prior strong years.  At the end of the process, I’m looking back on it as a success overall and in some ways it is a testament to our ability to execute in difficult circumstance.  I also feel really good about our core of supporters, as many of them stepped up and donated larger amounts than in the past.  We met some new folks at the race who found it organically, and that always feels nice.  I definitely think this can be our core event over the next 5 years and that it has lots of room to grow.  Lisa got many of her gym chick friends to come out and they are a really cool, positive crew to have as a new part of our extended family.  I truly am grateful for all the energy so many people put into the event, from volunteers, to fundraisers, donors and of course the runners.

Yesterday, Lisa, Bella and I visited UMass Amherst and Westfield State.  It was a fun experience to see a couple of campuses after so much intellectual energy around the whole process.  Bella seems drawn to the bigger campuses and I think she sees it as a challenge that she is confident she can rise to, which I don’t doubt in the slightest.  She’s already proven herself a capable decision maker and confident woman.  In fact, I think she performs better under this kind of ‘pressure’.  We are visiting UConn tomorrow and I’m truly grateful to be part of this experience with her.  It’s such an exciting time for her and I want nothing more than to help her get to a place that makes her happy and allows her to grow exponentially as a person.

10/6/18:  This weekend is our Rawk Run and the last few days have been hectic, but fun.  Yesterday, we picked up the signs and banners that were donated to us by Lisa’s cousin Sergio and his print shop.  They came out great and it was nice to connect with his wife Shawna.  We also had some new signups and have 49 official registrants as of today.  I did a final fundraising email at work, which resulted in a nice response from several people.  We’ll be buttoning up the last details today and then tomorrow, off we go!

In the evening, I took Q over to the football game to see Bella’s band.  As mentioned before, I really enjoy this.  There’s always a lot of kids which brings energy to the atmosphere.  I always run into Matt and usually some of his girls.  Jamie is also usually there and I caught up with both of them.  After getting home, we watched game 1 of the baseball playoff series between Boston and NYY.  No matter how many times they play, it’s always an epic event and last night the Sox pulled off a 5-4 win to take game #1.  I LOVE October baseball and having the Sox with a strong team makes it that much better.

Being a Boston sports fan is an honest blessing.  Such a great fan base, passion and of course all the titles and history we’ve witnessed.

10/5/18:  Nothing better than getting a new music recommendation from a friend that really moves you.  Yesterday, I got a text from my friend Chris Weekly who turned me onto JJ Grey & Mofro.  I had heard their name plenty of times so it was familiar, but don’t think I ever took the time to listen.  As soon as I dialed them up I felt the music instantly.  Been listening to them on shuffle this morning and really digging the sound.  I get some ZZ Top grooves, Black Crowes stylings and a bit of modern R&B swing.  So thankful for music and for the experience of discovering something new and exciting.

10/4/18:  Grateful to have the family together yesterday for the first time in a few days.  I really love the routine of ‘regular life’ and sometimes it helps to have something change it to appreciate it even more.

Lisa also seems in a much better place emotionally in regards to her band situation.  She is a really strong person mentally (as well as physically!) and I’m sometimes in awe of her ability to move on with such ease.  It’s something I’ve only recently gotten better at and a big part of what attracted me to mindfulness/Buddhism in the first place.  Her upbringing, especially with her dad as a role model, is obvious to me and something that was never part of my DNA growing up.

10/3/18:  Lisa got home the night prior @ 2:30am.  We didn’t catch up at that time other than a quick ‘welcome back’ and really only connected yesterday after I got home from work.  It was nice to have her back and we were all extremely grateful that she was home.  She caught us up on Mikey, Alyssa, Wyatt, Abi and her mom, all of whom seem to be doing well with their big move.

Later, we started talking about some drama that materialized with her band/friends in the days prior.  Details aside, she was extremely hurt by something that happened and we talked a lot about it.  I’m thankful that we can communicate openly and I hope it was helpful for her to talk to me.  I reached out to her via email this afternoon to remind her that no matter what I would be here for her and support her choices.  Truly appreciative of our relationship and the genuine depth of our love.

10/1/18:  I spent yesterday morning taking care of the house.  Did grocery shopping, cleaning and some food prep.  I worked for almost 30 minutes peeling and prepping squash that Doug gave me from his garden.  I roasted it with maple syrup, melted butter and salt/pepper.  Not the healthiest preparation, but omg was it delicious.  I actually roasted the seeds alongside and they accidentally candied with the syrup liquid.  I broke them into small bits and sprinkled it on the squash.  Grateful for the simple bounty of nature’s food.

Later in the afternoon, Bella and I went apple picking.  Always a fun fall tradition, we walked around the orchard and took some pics.  We stopped at the ice cream place on the way home and had food also.  I got a lobster roll and left most of the fries untouched.  Grateful to have had a modicum of self control.

Lisa comes home late tonight.

9/30/18:  Went mountain biking yesterday morning with Doug and his brother Guy again.  We rode for nearly 2 hours and it was a solid workout and very fun.  Attended Bella’s band fundraiser in the afternoon and caught up with Jamie over a couple beers.  Practiced my bass a bit and took Q out to The Boneyard for wings at dinner time. It was an absolutely beautiful, picture perfect fall day in New England.  Missing Lisa but it’s also been nice to have a bit more downtime for myself and I’m grateful for that.

9/29/18:  Lisa went to visit Mikey in Denver with her mom yesterday.  Despite having a cancelled flight and several delays she eventually made it there safely.  I spent the afternoon practicing my bass and learned Saturday Night Special by Skynyrd, which is fun as hell to play.  I think we are adding it to the Shine setlist for the gig.  I also spent some time writing, though it was a struggle and I wasn’t able to get very much accomplished.  Later in the evening, I made dinner for me and Q and after Bella came home, we sat and watched a couple episodes of That 70s Show, which is one of their faves.  It was nice to have some time to myself today and then connect with the kids.  I’m sure Lisa will have a fun time and it will be somewhat of an adventure for us to be without her for a few days.  Grateful she will get to experience some private time with her mom and that we can afford to do things like that.

9/27/18:  Grateful that I was mindful about my health/eating yesterday.  Last week I was sick and that derailed my gym routine.  Over the weekend, we ate at some great restaurants and I overdid it.  Early in the week, I kept the negative momentum going, by blowing off the gym and overeating a little at lunch and dinner.  These variances are normal for everyone, but they can also fire up negative patterns of behavior that used to be the norm for me.  I was able to re-focus yesterday and eat well.  After work, I got home and the house was empty.  I got changed and went to the gym.  Did about 12 miles on the bike and rode pretty hard.  Felt awesome afterward and was thankful to feel the tiredness that comes from exertion, not malaise.

This morning before work, Quincy was awake.  It’s not usually the case and he came out of his room to say good morning before I took off.  We were sitting in the living room and he was asking me about Buddhism and how I got into it, etc.  He told me a few weeks ago that he meditated.  He downloaded an app and tried it.  He bought me a mini Buddha statue for my birthday as well.  I must admit it’s kinda cool to have him thinking about these things and asking questions.  He’s such a smart, insightful kid and I am incredibly proud of the person he is growing into.

9/26/18:  Last night Bella called me as I was driving home from work.  She had a dead battery after leaving the lights on as her car sat outside drama practice.  I buzzed roadside assistance as I headed over to meet her.  I arrived and she got in the car to sit with me and wait for the service guy.  We had about 30 minutes until he arrived and we talked, mostly about college.  It was really great to have the time with her and some focused attention.  We don’t get a ton of that nowadays with her schedule and mine being what they are.  After the car was all set, we got home and Lisa had prepared a really nice dinner.  Homemade soup, ham and chicken wings.  Yes, all of that 😉 . The 4 of us ate and had good conversation and laughs.  After dinner we all stayed in the living room and watched some old youtube videos from my channel.  One was of Bella at age 7, doing her ‘Cooking With Bella’ show and we also watched the video I made for Mikey’s 40th birthday.  I was absolutely grateful for the couple hours we had with each other just experiencing the present moment together and the bounty of food.  Seemingly mundane tasks and opportunities to connect are constantly around us if only you allow them to happen.

9/25/18:  Rehearsed with Mike and Paul last night for the Shine set.  We went through 6 tunes and discussed a couple new ones.  Those guys are great players and it’s so much fun to jam with them.  We’ll be getting together with the full band in a couple weeks and I’m going to shed between now and then so that I can carry my weight.  Truly honored to have such faith shown me by these guys as to join forces for a set like this.

9/24/18:  Catching up after an active weekend.  On Friday, Lisa and I went to see Glenn Hughes perform a classic Deep Purple set.  We had dinner beforehand at Ken’s Ramen, one of our favorite spots.  The show was amazing and Glenn was so very gracious and appreciative.  He exudes the coolness only attainable by elder British rock stars and of course the music was fabulous.  We ran into some friends at the show including Wayne, Chris Gallivan and some other old music acquaintances of mine.  We also saw Q’s friend Josh’s dad at the gig, which was kinda awesome.  Had no clue he was a music guy.

Saturday, we ran at DW Field’s Park and did a scouting mission, in advance of the Rawkstars race in 2 weeks.  It was really helpful to see the park and talk through the logistics with Lisa.  I’m really grateful to have her help on all this kinda stuff.  In the afternoon, I spent a couple hours working in the yard.  Our lawn was grub infested this year and took a really bad turn.  I raked a huge area of completely dead grass, then seeded and watered.  I’m not the type of guy who needs a golf course manicured lawn, but I do take pride in having it look decent and cared for.  It’s not my strong suit, but am hopeful my effort will result in some improvement next year.  I am grateful to be able to spend time alone with nature and working with my hands and body, which I don’t get at my job.

Sunday we met Steve and Teresa Figueiredo and went to Matunuk Oyster Bar, another one of our most favorite spots to eat.  It was a nice day and we talked for several hours.  They’re a great couple and it’s been nice to get closer with them over the years.  I’ve known Steve since I was a teenager and remember visiting his ship one time when he joined the navy.  Teresa was giving us some advice about colleges, as Bella has expressed interest in chemistry and optometry.

I really am thankful to have such cool people in my life and to be able to experience so many fun things I enjoy.  We go to see live music regularly and regularly enjoy great food, well prepared.

9/21/18:  Yesterday was amazing.  Quincy made me a cool photo collage of the family and wrote a beautiful card, which he gave me when I got home from work.  Lisa also made a FB post during the afternoon, that literally made me cry.  Her words touched me really deeply and many people wrote nice comments on her thread.  As people, we often say ‘I love you’ or similar phrases that are meaningful, but expected.  She clearly took the time to craft something that was deeper.  Hearing someone I love more than anyone else on the planet say those things about me was beyond moving.  I’ve still been feeling a bit sick so we passed on going out to dinner.  Instead, we stopped by Subway, while Bella was working and grabbed a few sandwiches to bring home.  After dinner, Lisa and I watched a couple episodes of MadMen, one of our favorite shows of all time.  Couldn’t have been a more perfect day and I fell asleep literally smiling 🙂

9/20/18:  Today is my 40th birthday.  I’m still a bit sick, but made it back to the office today finally.  Last night, we had a family dinner at home which has become a bit of a special treat in recent months.  We ate a really nice meal that Lisa prepared and enjoyed some laughs as a family.  After dinner, we had a conversation about colleges and scheduled a few visits to Uconn/Fairfield and also UMass/Westfield.  It’s an exciting time for Bella and by extension us as parents.  Bella even took a walk with me and Lisa and gave me a framed photo of the two of us as a gift.

I spent some time with Q as well and we watched the last couple episodes of Disenchanted.  I asked him to give me some feedback on my parenting skills.  He’s an insightful and thoughtful person, especially for 12, and I look forward to hearing his input.  I truly want to embrace the opportunity to improve in areas where I can be better, especially where it touches my family.

9/19/18:  I’ve been sick as a dog the last few days.  Thinking back, I was feeling out of balance for several days.  Even in my last gratitude post, I referenced this.  I also took a fall on Saturday night, which I failed to reference in my entry about the charity gala.  I was playing ping-pong in a suit with slippery dress shoes and landed pretty hard on my tailbone.  Over the subsequent days, it got worse and has made being sick even more difficult, since sitting for very long is super uncomfortable.  I’m just starting to peek out from it a tiny bit and although being ill is just about the worst thing possible, it’s a reminder about my relative good state of health.  It’s also made me grateful for my work and simply getting out of the house every day to head to the office.  Hopeful that by tomorrow I’m feeling a bit more like my usual self.

9/17/18:  Had a rough day yesterday with eating.  Family came over for lunch and that always seems to be a trigger for me to overeat.  I also took a spill the night before playing ping-pong in a suit at the charity event, and my back is super sore.  I did some yard work and found it to be a far from mindful experience.  I’ve had a bit of a struggle recently in this area and not really sure why.  The change of seasons is generally difficult for me as I feel particularly affected by sunlight and the weather.  Today I will offer up my gratitude for the ability to recognize when I’m not feeling very grateful 😉

9/16/18:  Went to a charity gala last night in the seaport district.  We were invited by Lisa’s friend Lynne and her husband Jack, who is on the board.  It was fairly ‘swanky’ and took place at a loft space owned by a designer named Steven Favreau.  It was an eclectic space and the style didn’t really resonate with me from a visual standpoint.  We had a good time, ate some nice food and wound up at a tequila bar around the corner for a few nightcaps.

It made me grateful for the community that Rawkstars has formed.  It’s a close knit group and although we aren’t attracting the kind of money involved with events like this, I think people are genuinely moved by what we do.

9/15/18:  Went to Bella’s first football game of the year last night.  Her band plays throughout the games and during halftime.  It’s a cool atmosphere at the games and very community oriented.  I’ve come to really enjoy it over the last few years and the crisp fall nights, combined with the vibe of being among lots of young people is quite pleasant.  We always run into Matt, our neighbor, who is also the school principal.  We also ran into the guidance counselor that we saw speak at the seminar mentioned below.  I was grateful to connect with her and talk a bit about the college process we are just starting to undertake.  I feel fortunate that Bella’s participation in the school band extends cool opportunities for us to experience these kinds of activities.

9/14/18:  Attended a seminar for parents of High School seniors aimed at understanding the college landscape.  It’s pretty overwhelming, even as someone with a fairly large capacity for complex problems.  I never went through the process as a student and it’s an area where my knowledge and experience are deficient.  I feel added motivation to dive in since I want to help Bella make her most informed choice.  I am grateful that Lisa and I are able to provide her with at least a modest amount of support, in terms of funding, to pursue whatever she is interested in.  It’s more than my parents were able to do for me and I hope will result in helping Bella towards the ultimate goal of lifetime happiness and contentment.

9/13/18:  Continued my streak of personal best in 5k on the treadmill for the 3rd consecutive run.  I went from 30:50 –> 30:32 –> 29:48.  It’s been amazing to feel how my body is able to respond when my mind is properly motivated.  At the end of all the runs I felt like I really pushed myself further and yet was able to ‘survive’.  My weight is down to 238.5, which is my lowest in about a year.

I heard yesterday that one of my old friends from music, John Falzone, is fighting cancer.  I am truly grateful to have my health for now, as I know that won’t be the case at some point.  I think of that often, not to be morbid, but as a reminder to embrace life, experience everything and spread as much love as possible while I am able.

9/12/18:  Watched some videos and reflected on 9/11 yesterday, both at the office and at home.  At work, Jen had us watch a mini-documentary about the boat rescues that took place in Manhattan to evacuate the island during the attack.  I had never really heard that aspect of the story and it was another confirmation of the power of good within most people.  Later at home, Quincy and I watched some youtube clips from that day and I could tell he very much understood the enormity of the events that day.  He’s a very perceptive kid and I’m grateful he is able to feel empathy in a positive way.

9/11/18:  Grateful for a day at home yesterday.  I stayed put instead of going into the office.  I was fairly productive and managed to design and order the bibs for our upcoming race.  I also got a card reader from PayPal so we can accept payments at the event.  I edited a few photos from Lisa’s gig over the weekend and took care of the grocery shopping and dinner for the family.  The time went by fairly quickly and I had a list of other things I thought about doing but never got to.  Today is a new day.

9/10/18:  Received lots of positive feedback about my post over the weekend.  I’m writing for myself but would by lying if I said it didn’t feel good to create pieces that resonate with others.  Lisa’s band played yesterday and I went over with the kids to see her perform.  It was a lot of fun and I know she really enjoyed it personally.  They haven’t played much recently and I could tell it was cathartic for her to get back in the saddle.  She has such a great voice and a lot of people truly enjoy listening to her sing.  I shot some pics using the lens I borrowed from Dave Adams.  Curious to see if I got anything worthwhile but felt like I was having trouble getting used to it.  Grateful to have such a talented wife, who is capable of bringing joy to others in the form of music.

We also got word yesterday that Bella got the lead in her school play.  She was absolutely ecstatic and really deserved a choice role after putting so much time, energy and passion into the drama club for the last 4 years.  She is playing Rosie, in Bye Bye Birdie alongside Marcus, her bff.  I’m sure they will make a magical couple and crush the performances.  I’m grateful to have such a talented kid and one who worked hard even when she didn’t get the big roles she wanted the last few years.

9/9/18:  Got my mountain bike out yesterday and rode trails for the first time in a year.  Met up with my friend Doug and his brother Guy, who I had met before but not seen in years.  We rode in Massasoit State Park, which is about 3 miles from my house.  Guy wound up getting a flat tire within a few minutes of the ride and couldn’t continue.  Doug and I rode for about 45 minutes through the trails and got lost a few times.  It took me a bit to get comfortable on the bike and I improved as it went on.  It’s a different kind of workout than running or going to the gym and I am grateful that I was able to push myself and try something semi-new.  We came back to the house afterward where Lisa and I made breakfast.  Greek and Italian omelets with Jewish bagels from the deli and some fruit.

9/7/18:  Grateful that I wrote and published a post to this blog yesterday.  I launched it on July 4th and wanted to commit to a post per month.  While I didn’t achieve that, my writing has been more regular, even in small doses, like this page.  I also started a few other posts which I didn’t complete.  I’ve learned a new approach that I’m hopeful will push me further.  Typically, when I write, I edit and polish along the way.  The last two articles I’ve taken the approach of simply capturing a train of thought quickly, then circling back to edit and re-shape the words later.  I’m happy with the post and even more so that I had the courage to publish it even though it might not be perfect.

9/6/18:  Yesterday, I ran my personal best @ 5k (30:30).  It’s the second consecutive week I’ve improved on my fastest time.  Feels good to push my body and mind and I am grateful that both are still responding.

I also got a good chunk of writing done.  Immediately after my run, I came home and changed.  Instead of plopping down in front of the tv waiting for dinner, I came downstairs and put my thoughts into Evernote.  Running spawns a lot of great thinking and this time I was able to act on it.  I’ve been wanting to get another blog post done and I’m grateful I took the time to work at it yesterday.

Spoke with my nana for about 30 minutes last night.  She is turning 97 this coming weekend so I’ve been thinking of her and decided to pickup the phone.  I need to do that more and have never been particularly strong at staying connected with my family members.  She is an awesome lady and easily the most grounded, thoughtful person in our family.  I’m truly thankful that I’ve known her so long and that even my kids have spent a decent amount of time around her.  She is the simplest, most content person I ever knew.

9/5/18:  Returned to the office yesterday after a 4 day weekend.  It’s easy to complain about the job and I am guilty of losing perspective in that area.  That said, I am genuinely grateful to have a position that offers me flexibility of schedule, the chance to work semi-independently and in a low stress atmosphere.  I make a solid financial living and am able to not only meet the basic needs of my family, but provide them things and experiences beyond what I had growing up.

9/4/18:  Lisa, Q and I went to the Wabrek’s lake house for the afternoon yesterday.  Weather was picture perfect and we had a couple beers, talked on their deck and Paul drove us around on his boat.  Quincy got to hang with James, who he really looks up to.  I think it’s a great influence on him to spend time with a mature, smart, funny kid like James.  We made lunch and generally relaxed and enjoyed the day.  Grateful to have long time friends like that and for the blessings that a nice sunny day can have, if you just allow it to unfold.

9/3/18:  Lisa, Bella and I went to a pool party at Anna Araujo’s house yesterday.  It was a small gathering, mostly her immediate family and a few other friends.  We had fun, saw some of the cousin’s and had some good food, of course.  I talked with Tib about Madeira Island, which I’ve always wanted to visit.  Grateful for simple days, beautiful weather and spending time connecting with friends over the long weekend.

9/1/18:  Weight is down to 239, my lowest of 2018.  I try not to measure myself or my fitness by weight, but it’s nice to break past the 240 plateau.  I feel pretty good and my workouts have been slightly more intense/regular.  Eating control is solid.  Grateful to be relatively healthy and able to make improvements in my fitness level, even small ones.

Bella is going through a rough patch with one of her close friends.  I know she’s really upset by it and we talked a lot about it yesterday in the car as we drove around.  She is such a mature person and I am really proud of how she’s handling things.  I am genuinely grateful that she is willing to open up and talk to me about her life.  She’s an amazing person and I am fortunate to have such a good relationship with her.

8/30/18:  Ran my personal best @ 5k last night.  Since joining the running club, I’ve focused in on my pace more.  Typically, I don’t time myself when running and generally start slow and keep an even pace throughout.  My average mile is about 12 minutes.  I developed that style training for more distance, after beginning Falmouth a few years back.  Running with the club, there is a mental and physical momentum that comes along with the group.  I noticed my times were in the 11:30 range and after a few weeks I inched closer to 11:00.  A few weeks back, after Lisa started to come, I pushed down to 10:45 and last week averaged 10:18.  I told myself I was going to aim for 10 and finish a 5k in 31 minutes.  Last night I did 30:50 and felt amazing.  I am grateful that I am pushing my body lately and that mentally I’m embracing the discomfort.

8/29/18:  Saw ZZ Top last night with Lisa and the Wabreks.  Such a fun show, down at the Cape Cod Melody Tent.  Crowd was strong and raucous and I could tell the band felt it.  So good to see live music and make the effort to get out and connect with friends, even on a mid-week ‘school night’.

Sold the last of Quincy’s LEGO sets yesterday and shipped them out.  It’s been fun connecting with him on the building and selling of these, even though it added more tasks to my todo list.  I’ll be grateful to give him the proceeds (about $200!) in a few days once eBay settles up.  I’m guessing he’ll use the money to buy something computer related for his room.

8/28/18:  Bought some “chapati” from one of my Hindu friends at the office.  A bunch of the TCS contractors live together in a communal apartment complex.  They work, drive and spend time together on the weekends.  It’s a very cool eco-system and I like them all tremendously.  They often bring homemade food for lunch and recently shared some with me.  The chapati was exceptional and my friend Shravan and Anvesh told me a woman in the community cooks it daily and sells it to some of families.  I gave him some money to buy me a bag and have been eating it all day.  Grateful for the blessing of fresh, simple food and for my friendship with the TCS family.

8/27/18:  Friday, I took a hike through Massasoit Park with Lisa.  We were both home in the afternoon and it was a beautiful day so we decided to take a drive.  We browsed around some stores but I’m not much of a shopper and wanted to enjoy the warmth of the day instead of the climate controlled a/c and spending money for no reason.  We walked through the park a couple weeks back and Friday we explored some of the trails.  Grateful my wife is into walking together and comfortable spending time just being.

Saturday, we went to a family pool party at Dorothy’s new house.  It was the first time in a while that we got to socialize with Lisa’s side of the family.  I don’t usually refer to them as ‘Lisa’s side’ and think of them as my very own family.  We’ve all been connected for so many years and I truly love them all.  We got really drunk and had a ton of laughs.  They are all into having a good time and enjoying each other’s company.

Yesterday, I treated myself to some new clothes.  Nothing fancy, but replenished my socks/underwear/t-shirt drawers with mostly new items.  Grabbed a couple shirts for work and 2 pairs of jeans.  Happy to report my size hasn’t changed and one of the shirts I bought is even described as a ‘slim fit’.  That fact brings me great joy and I really am grateful for the fact that I am well off enough to treat myself to little things like this.

8/24/18:  Had the first get together for the Shine project last night with Wabrek and Mooney.  We didn’t really ‘jam’, it was more of an opportunity to listen through to the songs and discuss the arrangements.  Some of the songs will be played in different keys than the originals and we got on the same page with who would approach which guitar parts.  Totally psyched to play with such great players and friends.  It was a comfortable, easy going session and we made plans to formalize one more rehearsal for the 3 of us, and then get together with Joe Merrick and Cid to take the songs for a full spin.  Truly grateful to call so very many talented and cool musicians among my closest friends.

Yesterday afternoon, I also had coffee with an old friend, Mark Oglia, who is also a great guitar player.  We worked together many years ago as web developers at a small shop in Boston called BaseSix.  Also a music guy, we became good friends.  Mark is super smart and has a great sense of humor.  He’s also a fantastic writer, though mostly operates in the closet.  He recently got laid off from his CTO gig and is using the time to reconnect with friends.  I was pumped he called me and we sat and talked about family and life over coffee.  Such a small act brought me great joy.

8/23/18:  Q and I finished the last of his LEGO models last night.  He collected a ton of Star Wars sets when he was younger and they’ve been collecting dust on his shelves and in the attic for a few years.  We started re-building them and selling them on eBay.  For the last few weeks we’ve been working on the biggest, most expensive one, the Jawa Sandcrawler.  I’m going to post it today and will give Q the proceeds once it sells.  It’s been a cool period to give us something to work on together that’s semi-productive.  I don’t care much for playing video games since I cannot keep up, so finding projects to do together is invaluable.  I really am grateful for the time we have together.

Bella also had her first flat tire.  She got home ok, and when I came back from work, I changed it.  I felt the need to have her watch me, even though I don’t expect/want her to necessarily do that herself anytime soon.  As her dad, I want her to have some basic understanding of owning a car and what the responsibilities are.  I’m glad I was able to help her and will split the cost of the new tire with her to soften the blow.  I’m blessed to be in a financial position to take care of my family, though I want Bella to experience the importance of managing her money to cover unexpected costs.

8/22/18:  Spent last night focusing on myself a bit, for which I am grateful.  Lisa went to a gig with her friend Lynne, so after work I was by myself for a few hours.  Bella was out with friends and Q was engaged in a death match on Fortnite with his squad.  I took my car to the car wash and vacuumed and cleaned the interior.  My car is only a couple months old so it’s already very clean.  That said, I’m taking extra pride in the new whip and keeping it tight feels good.  After I got back I made fish on the grill for me and QMan.  He retreated to his room afterward and I headed downstairs to practice the Shine set.  I charted out Wasted Years, which is super helpful for me to stop and actually ‘listen’ to the song.  Finished the night with a bit of TV and caught a documentary about The Doobie Brothers.  Never knew much of their back story and I’m not a huge fan, but was reminded about how many big hits they had.  Also realized they were another band (like Sabbath, Deep Purple and Van Halen) that successfully survived a lead singer transition.

8/21/18:  Ran with the running club last night and had my fastest time yet.  33:30 for 3.25 miles.  When I started, my average mile was about 12 minutes.  The last few times out I ran 10:45 and last night was 10:18!  I’ve never really kept track of my run times formally or cared much about them.  That said, ‘training’ is more about an attempt to improve my performance and I’m trying to embrace the discomfort of pushing myself to get better, instead of merely doing it.  It’s a nice mental shift and I’m feeling grateful about my ability to surpass my expectations and assumptions about what kind of runner I am.  I think having Lisa join the club and come along has helped me in this way as she is regularly focused on training, performance and generally pushing through discomfort.

Also, I received an unexpected donation of $1,000 from an old acquaintance towards my Rawkstars fundraiser.  It’s something that really has changed me over the years to experience the generosity of so many people.  There are a couple folks in particular who have displayed such immense generosity towards the organization.  It’s re-framed what it means to be selfless to me and how doing something for others can be so rewarding for the giver.

8/20/18:  Had a productive, yet relaxing weekend.  Yesterday, I gave a drum set to my friend Chuck’s son, Chris.  His brother Anthony is a terrific guitar player that I’ve done a couple projects with through Rawkstars.  They jam together and have been using a crappy kit they pieced together from a yard sale.  I gave them a solid starter kit which they were thrilled with and already sent me a video of them jamming.

We also saw Paul and Donna briefly, which is always nice.  Donna is helping me with some RS bookkeeping for the next couple months, which I am super happy about.  This time of year is always super hectic for me, between fundraising, race training, event planning and all the other RS activities.  Then Lisa and I spent the afternoon trolling around Newport.  We ate lobster rolls, shrimp and a salad by the waterfront and shared a beer.  Walked around the downtown are for an hour and had a strong ass coffee before heading back home.

8/19/18:  Grateful for all the amazing food in my life and my overall enjoyment from it.  Lisa has been on a strict food regimen lately and has been preparing more food in advance.  I’ve taken the opportunity to take more care and attention in my own diet.  We spent a bunch of time prepping food together.  I made a quinoa salad with a smoked ham and leftover pineapple we had in the fridge.  I added peas, big chunks of onion (which make every recipe better) and ate it with chopsticks and sriracha hot sauce.  It was magnificent and so simple.  Reminded me of simple ‘street food’ that is really straightforward yet completely delicious.

8/18/18:  Really grateful that my bass chops are slowly coming back.  I’ve really started ramping up my practice the last week or so.  I’m going to be getting together with Wabrek and Mike this coming week, to run through the arrangements of the songs we are going to do with Shine at the Rawkstars gig in December.  Since I left Wicked Blue, my playing has fallen off a cliff.  Rehearsing alone is hard to motivate myself for, when there is no driving pressure of a show, or keeping up with the other band guys.  I’m super pleased that the folks I asked are willing to play with me and I want to hold up my end by being as prepared as I can.  I took the time to chart out a couple of the songs, which is always helpful for me in learning new tunes.  My finger strength and feel has a long way to go, but in just a week I’ve seen it improve a lot.

8/17/18:  Went with Lisa to see the Elvis 68 Comeback Special on the big screen last night.  Elvis was my very first musical crush and his voice literally resonates with me in a unique way, in part because of that fact.  He was an absolutely striking beauty, on top of having one of the most amazing voices in history.  He took gospel and blues and combined that with an edge that helped usher in the earliest rock n roll era.  As I thought about it, I also realized that my dad was a big reason why I was introduced to Elvis.  I don’t have many things about our relationship that I think back on with gratitude, so I was struck by that thought.

Aretha Franklin also passed away yesterday.  I am grateful that Lisa and I were able to see her perform a few years ago.  The soul music from Detroit and Motown in particular has always moved me greatly.  I feel more resonance with that era and style of music than I do for rock pioneers like The Beatles or Stones.  It’s not that I don’t like or respect those artists, but I always felt the Motown music more deeply in my body.  She was a true legend and I’m thankful for her music.

8/16/18:  Had a fast run last night @ 33:05 for 3.1 miles.  I’m thinking about running only 5k+ this year for the Rawkstars event, instead of the usual 10k+.  Thinking it might be cool to train for speed instead of distance and mix things up for my body by pushing my cardio but shorter length.  Grateful to be physically able to run despite all the pain I’ve inflicted on my body since I was a kid.  Tangentially, I am also grateful to have discovered running in general.  It’s something I’ve now been doing for 5+ years.  If you had told 40 year old me that I’d be “a runner” I would have laughed and sooner thought it possible to travel to the moon.  Another pointer in the direction of embracing change.

8/15/18:  Yesterday, I officially kicked off my 2018 fundraising campaign for Rawkstars.  It’s always an interesting process.  After 15 years, I’ve got a solid system in place, though it involves a lot of manual work and always comes with some anxiety about whether I will reach my goal.  The first few years I viewed it as an intrusion and haven’t completely rid myself of that concept.  That said, it’s become a more enjoyable process as it is also a time of year when I get to connect with many folks that I don’t regularly contact.  It also is full of surprises and really shines light on the generosity of others.  I’ll be telling people about some of the amazing Rawkstars kids and stories, in the name of ensuring our future.  It’s an experience not everyone gets to have and somewhat unique since the charity has been under my care since its inception.  For those things, I really am grateful.

I also got out for an hour and shot pictures with Bella.  We visited the Quincy Quarries, which was a cool spot to shoot.  It reminded me of the old house on Willard Street, where I lived with Rich Spillberg, Chris Gallivan and Kevin Boyle.  Anytime I get 1:1 time with Bella (or Q) is a blessing.  I was pleased with the shots after reviewing them briefly last night and I plan to spend some time editing the choice ones today.

8/14/18:  Got myself to yoga last night at the temple.  I also did some modest lifting at the office gym during lunch.  I’m truly thankful that my body is able to respond to exercise, even if I’m far from perfect.  Had a solid day of eating and aiming to build some momentum.

8/13/18:  Grateful for a fresh start today.  The weekend was something of a wash-out, and the pool party we had planned to attend got cancelled.  We spent most of the weekend holed up at the house, lounging and being sloth-like.  Not typically something I’d be grateful for, but looking at today as a clean slate to make better choices.  Lisa is starting a really strict eating plan for the next 6 weeks and I am going to join her.  I’m not planning to follow the extreme approach her diet expects but I am going to be mindful about my habits and push myself to elevate my eating and activity levels.

8/12/18:  Grateful that I managed to practice my bass the last couple of days.  Things are ramping up with the plans for my project band “Shine” to perform at the Rawkstars event on 12/1.  It’s nearly 4 months away but since I left Wicked Blue officially, my rehearsal time has been very limited.  Even when I have picked up the instrument, playing along at my desk to youtube videos is not the same as playing with live humans and pushing myself to keep up.  Wabrek, Mike Mooney, Joe Merrick and Cid are all on board for the gig and I sent around a list of 6 tunes for us to start with.  I really need a lot of polish and some time to build my strength back up.  I’m happy to be on the path to improving and that I managed to give it some focus these last couple days.

8/9/18:  Extremely grateful for the time I spent yesterday volunteering at Hole In The Wall Gang camp in Connecticut.  It’s my 3rd time volunteering at the camp and I feel really fortunate to help them in super small ways.  Yesterday, a group of us basically cleaned all day.  We made bunks, cleaned the kitchens and bathrooms, swept, mopped and emptied trash.  We were getting the cabins and clubhouse ready for the new session of kids and families who will be starting there on Friday.  The fact that the camp was founded by Paul Newman is not trivial for me.  He is one of the people I have always admired.  His films are some of my favorites, but he is also someone who inspired me through philanthropy.  He lived a very full life, sustained a 50+ year Hollywood marriage and used his wealth and notoriety in compassionate ways to make the world a better place.  He was also super good looking 😉 . I’d like to do more hands-on volunteering and plan to make a point of that going forward.  Doing it with my kids would be amazing.

8/8/18:  Had a solid meeting with my bosses boss, Jen yesterday.  It’s a semi-regular occurrence called ‘the donut of learning’.  Jen has a real knack for teasing info out of me by asking pointed questions.  She does a good job of interpreting my answers and offering cogent, direct advice.  Work has been pretty stale for a while and while I really like working for Hasbro, my daily role is pretty unfulfilling.  Grateful to have some fresh perspective and maybe some inspiration to move ahead in new ways.

8/7/18:  Got myself to the running club again last night with Lisa.  It was super hot and the run was tough.  Proud that I didn’t pass up the opportunity and that I completed the run.  Been trying to push my pace lately and even with the heat, I managed to run a 10:45 average, which is great for me.  My normal pace, when running 5k+ is closer to 12m miles.

8/6/18:  Grateful that I got to spend 2/3 of my weekend days at the pool.  Visited my MIL’s poolyard on Friday afternoon and yesterday went to the Mooney’s.  Both were filled with eating, drinking, talking, listening to music and lounging.  Quincy brought his friend Seth on Friday and John Mandeville came yesterday.  We wrapped up the day with a trip to Amaro’s for ice cream.  I was also grateful for how much time he spent socializing this weekend.  In addition he had his buddy Josh and a new kid named Daris come by the house on Saturday.  Bella is away much of this week in Maine with Kearsten and her family, so we missed having her with us.

8/3/18:  Went out to the Portuguese “Feast Of The Blessed Sacrament” in New Bedford last night to see Queensryche.  Yes, you read that correctly 😉 . Lisa, Q and his friend Scotty tagged along.  We ate linguica sandwiches, malasada and drank a few cold beers.  The kids went on a couple 70s era carnival rides and we navigated the super crowded streets enjoying a warm summer night and some people watching.

The band were a shell of their former glory and playing this venue reminded me of the “Puppet Show and Spinal Tap” sign, from the classic movie.  That said, they played Walk In The Shadows, The Whisper and Eyes of a Stranger, back to back to back and I felt grateful for the experience as we headed back to the car.

8/2/18:  Took the family out for Chinese food last night.  We don’t do either often; eating Chinese or eat out all together.  Was nice to have Bella home for the night and we all enjoyed the time together.  I ate fairly mindfully, which I am also thankful for.

I also spent a lot of time over the last 48 hours making posters for both the Rawk Run and the 15th Anniversary gig we are planning.  The events have been in the planning phase for quite some time and now the reality of making them happen is starting to hit me.  It was nice to make a bit of tangible process in several areas on each path.

7/30/18:  Yesterday morning I took a beginner’s photography class in Providence.  It was basic but I need to start at the beginning.  I feel like my picture taking has come a long way in the last year and I’ve improved my composition and post-production skills.  I don’t have a strong understanding my camera and its features.  I’ll be attending the course again next weekend for part 2.  Grateful to spend a couple hours doing something productive and finally taking the leap into something I’ve been thinking about doing for some time.

7/29/18:  Eventful day.  Took a ride to South Shore Music to meet DiMario and his mom Marie.  He is a 9 year old drum student that has been taking lessons through Rawkstars for about 6 months.  Typically, I meet all the students and parents prior to enrolling them, but at the time, it wasn’t possible in their case.  He gave us the sweetest thank you card and he and Marie couldn’t have been more gracious and thankful.  It’s an absolute honor to be able to connect with families through music and Rawkstars has provided me with one of the greatest gifts of my life, in that regard.

Later in the afternoon, we went to Sharyn Donlinsky’s 50th birthday party.  We’ve known her since high school and it was sweet to be invited to her bash.  We saw lots of old friends there including Louie/Trish, Paul/Donna, Doug/Sue and Dave Liolios.  It was awesome to connect with those guys as always and we added another fun day to our already long history together.

We took off from the party early as we had tickets to see The Four Tops and The Temptations at South Shore Music Circus.  That’s a classic Massachusetts venue and it’s a bit of a summer tradition to sit under the tent and see great music.  I’m such a huge fan of classic Motown and both bands had one original member still touring.  The songs hit me so powerfully and resonate with me deeply.  I’m also thankful to have a wife who enjoys getting out to see live music as often as I like to myself.

7/27/18:  Glad I got to spend some 1:1 time with Quincy last night.  Both of the girls were out of the house and he and I spent the evening hanging out.  Nothing fancy, but we watched Star Wars, episode 3 and then played Lego SW on Xbox, something we used to do when he was little.  Way back when I could actually play video games with him without being overwhelmed.  We ate ice cream and other junk snacks, like guys do when women aren’t around.  I stayed up a bit late, as he was begging me to hang.  It was sweet and I’m glad he wants to spend time with me.

7/26/18:  Lisa made an amazing dinner last night, as she often does.  Been eating a ton of meat lately and was craving something vegetarian.  She crafted a stir-fry with tofu, mushrooms, mung beans, peppers, onions and bok-choy.  It had this great spicy/sweet sauce she made from scratch.  I don’t take for granted the amazing food I’m able to eat each day, the fact that I have a wife who is skilled at preparing it and that we both generate so much pleasure from all aspects of food.

7/25/18:  Today I had a fabulous interaction with a guy at my office.  His name is Jonathan and I see him everyday.  He is a custodian at our building and one of his jobs is to clean the bathrooms.  Like most offices and public restrooms in general, ours are absolutely awful.  They are far too small and insufficient in relation to the number of folks using them.  As a result, they always smell terribly.  I emerged from the stall, after contributing heavily to the stench, to find Jonathan cleaning one of the sinks.  I felt the internal embarrassment that comes with the shared knowledge that I was making his current job an even worse experience.  Instead of averting my eyes, he engaged me.  We talked about his home in the Dominican Republic and the fact that he spoke at least 4 languages.  He worked in a resort there and had to interact with guests from all over the globe.  He’s a young guy, 27 years old and married.  He has a great smile and we now know each other by name.  I felt so grateful that I spoke with him.  He couldn’t have been more engaged in our conversation and the fact that he was simultaneously cleaning our horrible bathroom seemingly had no impact on how he felt at that moment.  Lesson learned.

7/24/18:  Grateful I got myself to yoga class yesterday.  It was my second go-round at the temple and I was excited to attend.  The teacher was a different woman than the prior week and her style did not resonate with me whatsoever.  I wasn’t able to flow with her approach and never got comfortable during the 90 minute session.  That said, I’m glad I showed up and took care of my body as best as I could.

Also, sold Q’s next Star Wars Lego set on eBay.  This is the 3rd model we have completed and sold in the last few weeks.  He’s made about $250 after expenses, which is pretty cool considering these are items that were sitting in his closet unused.  We also had the enjoyment of reconstructing the projects together and bonding over the experience.  Proud of him for putting forth the effort, even if I have to force the issue to make it happen.

7/23/18:  Bella had a great party last night.  As mentioned, she has such awesome friends and it was really cool to see them all at the house.  Quincy made her the sweetest card, with pics of Ajax on the cover.  He made it on the computer and I could tell he made it with love for his sister.  He also gave her $20 of the money he just got from selling his Legos on eBay.  Grateful that both of my kids are gracious and generous with their resources.

7/22/18:  Today is Miss B’s 17th birthday!  I am so proud of the person she has become.  She enjoys life and takes full advantage of what it has to offer.  She has a great group of friends and she spends time having fun, balanced with working hard at Subway.  She knows that school is something she needs to do well at, but doesn’t place too much importance on it.  She has music in every corner of her life and I expect someday she’ll join her own band, as Lisa and I did later in life.  She has healthy attitudes towards food, relationships and boys and I almost never worry about her.  In some ways it’s hard to believe that she is 17 but in another, she always seemed that mature.  I love her with all my heart and will enjoy spending time with her today, as I always do.

7/21/18:  Yesterday, Lisa and I celebrated our 21st anniversary.  We went down to Sakonnet Vineyard in R.I.  I’m not a wine guy, but we did a tasting of 7 varieties and it was really nice.  The grounds are beautiful and we sat outside, talked and sipped wine.  They have an outdoor bandstand area and I’d love to go back and see some live music at night.  We ate fish tacos, an artisan cheese platter and a Mediterranean assortment of olives, hummus, grape leaves, nuts and honey.  After we got a little buzzed we walked the grounds a bit through a cleared path.  I took some pics and it was amazingly tranquil.  Absolute silence, except for the birds, which felt awesome.  We got home early, around 7pm, and then sat outside with a fire and the 70s music channel on Sirius for the rest of the night.  Grateful.

7/20/18:  Went out for a nice family dinner last night.  Doesn’t happen often as we cook at home almost every night.  Bella also has a busy schedule and isn’t always around for dinner time.  It was nice to get out all together and have a meal out of the house.  This weekend is our anniversary, plus Bella’s 17th birthday.  It’s always a cool time of year and I’m really looking forward to the weekend festivities.

7/19/18:  Sharing twice today.  I received a call from Robin Santos, who owns the local music store with her husband Rick.  We have become both partners and friends over the years.  They are a great couple and run a top notch business, with a real focus on the music students and their families.  She brought me news of a mom who was struggling to pay for her twin girls’ lessons.  We happen to know the family as well, by coincidence.  Rawkstars was able to step in and assist them in keeping the kids involved with their lessons.  They are great kids and are both profoundly impacted by music.  It’s their identity in many ways similar to Bella.  I am immensely grateful to be able to support them, and also to be a partner with Rick and Robin.  Having someone ask for your help and being able to fulfill it is one of the true joys of being alive.  Rawkstars allows me to do that more than I otherwise would and for that I am super thankful.

7/19/18: I participated with the running club again last night.  Lisa came along with me for the first time and also enjoyed it.  We saw Cathy Nolan there who is a cool, inspirational chick that pushes herself mentally and physically, even though, like me, she doesn’t have an “ideal body type” for running.  On Monday, Lisa and I also went together to the Buddhist temple in Raynham for a yoga class.  I had tried to visit the temple a few times for meditation class, but this was the my actual visit inside.  The space was tremendous and it felt great doing yoga for the first time in a while.  I am truly appreciative of the fact that I am able to participate in activities to keep my body in decent shape.  I often get caught up in how much better I could/should be doing in that area while losing perspective on the fact that I am simply doing it.  At 47, my lifestyle is 180 degrees different from how it was 7+ years ago, when exercise, healthy eating and mindfulness were not part of my thought process whatsoever.  People can change.  Grateful that I also have a partner who is focused on these areas as well, so we can walk the path together sometimes.

7/18/18:  Had a team breakfast at work yesterday.  I brought in a huge bowl of slow cooker oatmeal I made the night before.  There were a few dishes and contributions by others.  I really enjoy communal eating and sharing and am glad I work someplace where this is feasible and encouraged.

I was also able to share the final mix of Bella’s cover version of “Try Me”, which I’ve been working on for a few months.  Played it for some friends who genuinely seemed to enjoy it and I think Bella was even proud of it, though she plays it close to the vest 🙂  I feel lucky to be able to combine my passion for music and network of musicians and studio experience into a cool project with Bella and Lisa.  Definitely psyched for that!

7/17/18:  Visited the Buddhist temple in Raynham last night for a yoga class.  It was amazing inside and felt great to participate in yoga after a few months of being away from it.  Lisa came with me and also enjoyed it.  Grateful for the chance to peek into the temple a bit and I was able to get a schedule of their available meditation classes.

7/16/18:  Grateful for all the amazing food in my life and for a partner who takes as much pleasure in it as I do.  Spent a lazy Sunday at home, grocery shopping and then a bunch of cooking.  I take so much pleasure in eating and also preparing food.  I think I even enjoy the cleanup process!  Lisa and I made a fabulous lunch.  Chicken skewers, quinoa salad and steamed vegetables.  Watermelon and cherries for dessert.  We sipped tequila out in the yard at the firepit until it started raining.

7/15/18:  Had a tremendous day yesterday with the Armored Saint guys.  Organized a dinner/hang with Joey V, his wife Tracy, Mike Colucci and John Arch.  Met JV/TV at the venue and watched the end of soundcheck, plus the meet/greet session.  Hard to be standing there off to the side and not think about all the cool gigs working in that same situation.  Metal fans always have huge hearts and are so deeply impacted by the music.  One of my fondest road memories is the after show in Moscow.  A hundred or so fans waited around and were led into the empty venue.  The band was standing in front of the stage greeting, taking pics and signing while I played Uli Roth era Scorpions over the PA.  I often would take pics for fans so they could all gather in the shots and I always really enjoyed that experience.

I Ubered the crew over to Zaftig’s, a famous Boston Jewish Deli over in Brookline.  I had a corned beef on rye with a ton of awesome kosher mustard.  It’s one of the delicacies that brings me back to my childhood.  We talked about our families, music, comedy, pop culture and Mike’s recent gigs with Ringo.  There was another couple who drove from upstate NY to see John, who also joined us.

The gig was really energetic.  Boston crowd turned out in full force and the room was very full.  I took some pics, though nothing special.  They played the entire Symbol of Salvation record as well as another 6 or 8 of their classic tunes.  John owned the crowd and of course talked about Boston history.  He referenced The Channel, The Orpheum, Narcissus and even The Living Room in Providence.  He also brought up The Celtics and Big Papi, which made me smile.

Afterward we caught up in the dressing room and we swapped some family stories.  His daughter is in a roller derby tournament he was sad to have missed.  All of the gigs I’ve been around Saint he has always had his wife and/or kids with him, so I know they have a strong connection.  He and Colucci reminisced a lot about the old Boston days.  John and Joey both have a really strong memory and connection to all the gigs they’ve played.  It’s really cool and is one of the things that bonds them to people.

I’m incredibly blessed to have so much of my life revolve around music and to be connected with so many talented and amazing people who feel the same.  Totally rambling here but you can tell how much the night meant to me.

7/14/18:  Eating habits have been more consistent for me lately.  My weight is back down to 243, the lowest it’s been in a few months.  My shirts are fitting better and I don’t feel as sluggish.  Had Q’s friends over the house yesterday and took them to the mall for pizza.  Good group of kids and I like joking with the boys.  Q kinda makes fun of me but I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m actually funny, which makes me smile.

I had a fire by myself for a few hours as Lisa was out for the night with the girls from the gym.  I made the most of it and listened to lots of music.  Trying to generate ideas for the Shine set.  Even though it’s months away, I’m going to need lots of personal practice time as my chops are soft at this point, after not playing regularly the last several months.  Grateful to have something to push me in that area.

7/13/18:  Last night I had an awesome session and hang with Joe Merrick.  We finished up the mix for “Try Me”, the UFO track we did with Bella and Lisa singing.  I was extremely happy with the sounds and levels.  Mixing is absolutely one of my most favorite activities.  The song is super delicate and we were able to really bring drama to it, by evening out the strings and making really subtle level changes.  Bella and Lisa are absolutely amazing.  B is such a naturally good singer and Lisa has a superior ability to both harmonize and align with whomever she is singing with.  She hears so well and quickly adapts to whomever she is partnered with.

I also asked Joe about playing drums for “Shine” this year and he agreed!  We did one song together last year (Dazed & Confused by Zeppelin) and it was pure joy for me.  Playing in a rhythm section with him was illuminating and incredibly fun for me.  The project is shaping up perfectly and for that, I am truly blessed.

7/12/18:  I’ve been quite lax lately with regards to practicing music.  Last night I spent some time learning a few new songs and starting to make a list of song ideas for the Narrows Center gig on 12/1.  I’ll be doing another version of the “Shine” project and am starting to put the ideas and band together.  So far, I have Paul Wabrek on board and confirmed for one guitar spot.  I also published the ticketing page to begin the process of promoting the show and of course selling tickets.  With all the other activities lately, I’m feeling like planning for the event is a bit behind where I’d like it to be.  Glad I made the smallest bit of progress on that front in the last couple days.

Weighed in this morning at 243, my lowest since we went away to Mexico.  Feeling better lately about my eating and activity level and it’s nice to see it pay off on the scale as well as my clothes fitting slightly better.

7/11/18:  Went out for drinks with some folks from work, courtesy of our boss Jen.  Had some good laughs and it was nice to spend time with my peers outside the office.  I don’t do that enough and I focused on the moment instead of rushing to get back home.

I’ve been working to acquire a cello for a Rawkstars applicant from Austin, TX.  We typically don’t service kids outside the local area, but on occasion do.  I received an email asking for help on the day I returned from my visit there with Bella last month.  It was too coincidental to ignore and I decided to fulfill the request.  I have a 3/4 cello at the house from my encounter with Jack, an elderly cello builder, a few years back.  I had to purchase a hard shell case, which unfortunately, didn’t fit the custom cello.  So I purchased a student instrument and now have the full outfit to ship to Texas this week.

Over the weekend I helped Quincy get his old Lego collections sorted, built and posted on eBay for sale.  Yesterday, we sold the two items I had posted within 48 hours!  He’s going to receive about $175, after all expenses.  He has two other valuable sets and I hope to continue getting him focused on constructing, packaging and posting those this weekend.  I’m really grateful to help him do something productive that will result in him getting a fairly large amount of money.

7/10/18:  Connected with the running club for my 3rd race last night.  Had a solid run that felt fairly loose from the get go.  I ran into my friend Jill and her son, who was very cute.  I asked him about school and he told me he got a “C” in music class 🙂

I got started on the creation of my fundraising spreadsheet for the summer Rawkstars season.  Each year, I track all the donations for each team member through a Google sheet.  It’s kind of painstaking, but it’s my way of feeling I have some control over what’s happening.  It’s helpful historically also and in keeping the books accurate.  This year, it’s more complex as we have a new service to track run signups for our newly minted “Rawk Run”, which also includes a separate donation component.  Then we will have the normal fundraising channels using Fundly’s service.  Lastly, I am including tickets for our Rawkshow which will be happening just two months after the race.  Grateful that we have so much activity and appreciative of my ability to keep some oversight on it.

7/9/18:  Spent time connecting with many old friends this weekend.  On Saturday, we went by Glenn Rice’s annual BBQ/Concert.  Always a great turnout, Glenn and Elissa attract a crowd of super sweet metalheads and create an atmosphere of sharing, community and overall coolness.  At the party, we saw an Iron Maiden tribute band fronted by a woman who blew me away.  She sang with reckless abandon and poured her heart into every note.  Very, very metal.

Yesterday, we went with Mikey and Alyssa to the Providence Oyster Bar.  They are officially leaving this week to start their new adventure in Colorado.  Wyatt spent one last afternoon with Quincy, which was sweet as hell.  We had a great meal and went for coffee and gelato afterwards at the Italian grocery around the corner.  We ate a delicious meal and got to spend time with one of our favorite couples.  Happy we had the opportunity to connect one more time and that we’ve had such a close friendship with them over the years.  Looking forward to spending time with them in their new digs someday and planning our next family vacation together.

7/6/18:  Continued to get some nice comments on the blog post yesterday.  So cool to hear from people who I don’t connect with very often and hear such positive feedback.   22 people subscribed to the blog after that first post.  I got a nugget of an idea for a new post based on “The Chase is Better Than the Catch”, about how most of us are chasing the feeling of life instead of just living it.

Weighed myself this morning after skipping that activity for several weeks.  245, which was better than expected.  I’ve been doing well lately being mindful of my food intake without acting like a Nazi.  Listened to a podcast yesterday about mindful eating which discussed our relationships with food.  Lots of relatable content there 🙂  Grateful to be shining a light on this aspect of my health lately, instead of continuing to ignore it as I have been.

7/5/18:  Yesterday I saw Lisa’s band play at a July 4th house party.  Not the greatest gig setup and it was hot as hell outside.  Still, I was thankful to hang with some friends for the afternoon and see Lisa perform.  The kids also came along for most of the afternoon.  Bella brought a friend from work and they lounged on the beach.  Q went swimming to try and combat the heat and although they took off early, it was cool having them along.

I got a ton of kind feedback on my post about Tom and the official launch of this blog.  It felt nice to have some folks see/read the article(s) and many of them talked about how awesome Tom was.  Some commented positively  about my writing which made me feel good.  I’m hopeful to keep writing and to push myself in that area moving forward.

7/4/18:  Grateful that I finally launched this blog today.  Thus far I hadn’t shown it to anyone and only told Lisa and Q I was working on it.  Felt good.  Watching Serena and Federer today at Wimbledon and just came back from some stretching and lifting at the gym.  Content.

7/3/18:  Last night I participated in the “Monday Night Fun Run” with the Old Colony Running Club.  It was a 5k course in Raynham and Jamie Clasby introduced me to the group.  It was my second run with the club, after having done the Wednesday night variety at DW Field’s Park a few weeks back.  It was super hot and I struggled throughout most of it.  I focused on simply continuing and just competing with myself (iAgainsti :).  I enjoy being part of the group and have met a couple other folks, casually.  I also ran into Jill Whittemore, who was there with her daughter, who runs with the club as part of her High School track team.  Hadn’t seen Jill since the Rawkstars gig last November and it was nice to catch up.  Despite the fact that I am not in terrific shape right now, I was grateful to be able to complete the 5k and push myself mentally enough to simply show up.

7/2/18:  Yesterday, we went out to lunch with the Bento crew.  It was intended as a goodbye as Mikey, Alyssa, Wyatt and Abi are headed to Colorado in a week or so.  Always nice to connect with those guys and we will miss them for sure.  Wyatt stayed over and I know Quincy will be bummed to have WB out of his regular rotation of friends.  Still, I’m happy for them and hope everything works out as they hope in their new adventure.  It will give us an excuse to visit the mid-west.  I’ve always wanted to visit the national parks in Utah and see a gig at Red Rocks.

Lisa and I went out last night to see David Blaine.  He is one of my all time favorite entertainers and did not disappoint.  He performed some of his incredible card tricks that shock and confound as they unfold.  He also did some endurance art, including being submerged in a tank of water for 10 minutes!  I thought about how cool it was that he has pushed himself to such incredible limits with his mind/body.  He could easily have had a super successful career in magic, simply by doing the street tricks he originally became famous for.  He is a true artist and like Houdini, a real life superhero.  He had the audience on the edge of their seats.  So thankful that we were able to see his show in person.  Very inspirational.

7/1/18:  I was briefly disappointed that Portugal got knocked out of the World Cup yesterday, but grateful to have watched much of the tournament.  It gave me the opportunity to think about my cousin Tom Raposo, who always got super excited about soccer and of course anything to do with Portugal.  Otherwise, we spent a quiet family, day mostly at home, which was really nice.

6/30/18:  Happy that I got myself moving today.  Took Lisa and Quincy out to Providence Oyster Bar last night for a terrific seafood dinner.  Afterward, we got coffee and briefly watched a band playing Italian standards at the outdoor plaza.  This morning, I woke up and decided to take action about the way I’ve been feeling, physically and mentally.  I suited up, jogged to the gym and did some stretching and mild weight lifting.  I drank a bunch of water and then ran back home.  Made a fresh, healthy breakfast and stopped eating when I started to feel full.  Today I’ll be rooting for Portugal in the knockout round of the World Cup and aiming to be mindful about my activity level and food intake.

6/29/18:  Went out with Lisa last night to see Kings X @ The Met in Pawtucket.  Dug had lots of technical difficulties with his rig and a monitor mix that he complained about all night.  Grateful to get out and see some live rock music, as it’s been a while.  I shot lots of pics with my new cell phone camera (S9+) but had mixed results.  At a glance, they didn’t seem to have a very sharp focus and I struggled with the screen controls all night.  Will take some time to get used to shooting with it and to learn the functions.  Got compliments yesterday on my photography from multiple people after posting my NYC pics.  Gratifying to have others enjoy the visuals and reinforced my love of taking pictures.  I should take a class and learn how to truly utilize my camera.

6/28/18:  The last few weeks have been a whirlwind.  My car was involved in a hit and run, after being parked in front of our friend’s home as we attended their son’s graduation party.  I had 3 remaining payments and was planning to gift the car to Bella once paid off.  The car was pretty severely damaged, to the tune of $6500.  Surprisingly, the insurance company did not total it and I’ve since gotten it back.  In the meantime, I bought a 2018 Honda Accord, which I really love.  I was able to give the Corolla to Bella last week, which felt amazing, as a parent.  She’s a great kid and deserves her own ride.  I’m proud of her.

Earlier this week, we all visited NYC for a couple days mid-week.  Bella attended the Paramore concert in Brooklyn and I decided to drive her there and bring Lisa and Q along.  We visited Central Park, Rockerfelller Plaza Times Square and the 9/11 Memorial, which was quite moving.  I took some pictures I am happy with and got lots of compliments on them, after showing some off.

I had 3 interviews since my last post for the position at School Of Rock.  I didn’t get an offer, but the process was great and I learned a lot.  Several friends advised me on the interview and my resume.  It was nice to share the experience with some folks I don’t talk to regularly.  It also gave me some much needed perspective on my gig at Hasbro, which is pretty darn good by most measures.  I’m thankful that my life is so full of love and opportunity, even if it doesn’t always turn out the way I hope.

5/30/18:  Spoke with someone via phone yesterday about an extremely interesting and exciting professional opportunity.  It’s been swirling in my head nonstop and could change my course dramatically.  It’s frightening to consider such change, but so far resonates with me in a way that makes it feel right.  Being presented with this opportunity has also caused me to reach out to some other friends for advice, giving me more chances to connect with people I don’t regularly see.  Grateful to be in such a solid professional position and to have the support of so many smart, talented folks.  It’s a nice reminder and I feel blessed.

5/28/18:  Had an amazing breakfast meeting with an old friend, Colleen, from my Upromise days.  She is a super smart, experienced product owner and agreed to chat with me about Rawkstars and the new direction I’m looking to take it.  It was energizing to spend time with someone who understands what I’m thinking about and is able to advise and guide me.  She challenged my commitment level and I know she is spot on in her assessment of my engagement.  It motivated me to create a personal backlog of tasks and I’m planning to systematically work on them a bit each day to drive the concepts forward.  Slow is ok for me, but I want to make meaningful progress towards my goals.

5/27/18:  Memorial Day weekend.  Our refrigerator is dying and we had our A/C serviced, only to find out it’s also on its last legs.  While I don’t relish emptying half of my savings account to replace these items, I am thankful that I am in position to absorb the costs and not have it destroy my financial well being.  I know a lot of people would be severely impacted by such occurrences, financially and mentally.  For me, I’m truly blessed to be able to take care of these needs for my family and not get too caught up in what things I’ll miss out on due to the expense.  Thankful.

5/25/18:  I’ve been off my schedule for the last week as I took a business/pleasure trip to Austin and San Antonio.  I attended a QA Manager’s workshop in S.A. and decided to go a few days early to spend time in Austin.  I brought Bella along with me, which was really cool.  The workshop itself was informative and I met some cool, experienced tech manager’s from all over the world.  It gave me a new perspective on the role of QA, which I’m hopeful will resonate with my team.

Spending time alone with Bella was also nice.  I took Quincy to San Francisco last year and it showed me the importance of getting some alone time to focus on him.  Bella is nearly 17 and I think it’s important for us to spend time together outside the typical familial dynamic.

We ate like kings, as Austin is an amazing food city.  The S.A. Riverwalk is also a cool spot, and much more built up than the last time I visited, which was 1995 with Fates Warning and Dream Theater.  I got out and ran a few mornings in the early hours when the city was quiet.  It was cool to explore and there are so many neighborhoods which were conducive to running.

My meditation practice suffered with my schedule change.  I’m a true creature of habit and being out of my normal routine, made it hard for me to devote time to sitting each morning.  Planning to use the upcoming long weekend to steer myself back to some positive patterns including some gym time and maybe even picking up my bass!

I’m specifically grateful that my position and company allows me the opportunity to take these types of trips to develop my career.

5/17/18:  Yesterday I had the tremendous pleasure of presenting on behalf of Rawkstars to the Brockton Rotary Club.  It was an excellent opportunity to hone my public speaking skills, something which I’m trying to get better at.  I felt comfortable and was grateful for the audience and also to connect with some of its members personally.  Afterward, a gentleman named Mort came over and shook my hand.  He told me he grew up during the Great Depression and served in the Pacific theater during WW2.  What an honor to connect with Mort!  My friend Teresa Ronan had nominated me/Rawkstars and it felt kinda awesome that she thought highly enough of us to bring us in.

Later in the evening, I came home and was doing some writing/thinking about Rawkstars and its future.  Been doing a lot of that lately and soul searching about finding more purpose in my day job.  I have a plan forming about a subscription model for the business which will take us/me out of the annual fundraising cycle and more into a budgeting process.  In some of my research, I started digging into the School of Rock website.  I noticed a job posting for their Canton office, titled IT Director.  I read it and was energized by the thought of applying.  I poked around LinkedIn and found their CEO.  In my network, I knew 4 people who were 1st connections of his.  I drafted an email to David Coppins, who became CEO of Upromise towards the end of my tenure.  We had a solid relationship and I’ve talked to him a couple times in the years since leaving Upromise.  He himself has been CEO of at least two other companies since.  He immediately answered my note with very positive feedback and energy.  He told me he would be happy to recommend me for the position and would draft a note connecting me with the School of Rock CEO this weekend.  Not sure where it will lead, and even if it doesn’t pan out, the fact that David was so willing to go to bat for me feels amazing.

5/16/18:  8 years ago today I made a decision to stop destroying my body and self-medicating with food.  I remember it well.  I was working at Digitas, which required me to walk from South Station to my office near Downtown Crossing.  As most commuters are, I developed into a fast, focused walker.  As I was passing the building adjacent to mine, I caught a long view of myself in the mirrored, glass exterior.  I was pretty horrified.  I had been severely overweight for most of my adult life, but something about the way I looked that morning felt different.  I started thinking about making another run at ‘dieting’, something I had done many times throughout the years, to varying levels of success, but always temporary.  Later that afternoon, news spread of the death of Ronnie James Dio.  He was certainly not overweight, but something about the fact that one of my childhood heroes had passed away made me feel my mortality in a new way.  Over the last 8 years, I have dropped somewhere in the ballpark of 100 lbs.  I’ve had ups/downs and times when I was hyper focused and other times when I fall back into old habits of eating.  Still, I took a fork in my path that day that forever changed my course, for the better.

5/15/18:  Thankful that I’ve been able to better prioritize my health the last couple days.  I did a good job of that for much of the first part of 2018, and stumbled over the last 4-5 weeks.  It began a week or so prior to our vacation, when I gave myself permission to mentally check out.  Poor eating has always been a slippery slope for me.  It’s akin to an alcoholic having ‘just one drink’.  Before I know it, I am talking myself out of the gym and into rewarding myself by not being mindful with what I consume.  Solid workouts the last 2 days and trying to re-focus on what’s important.

5/14/18:  For Mother’s Day I took the family for brunch to ‘Milk Money’ in Providence.  Wyatt slept over the night before so he also joined us, which was awesome.  He’s such a good kid and I really enjoy having him around.  Tapas for breakfast was a bit odd but the food and service were excellent.  Today, I listened to a podcast featuring this woman named Shiza Shahid, through which I learned about the Malala Fund.  I was inspired to donate $200 to their cause, which is how much I spent on brunch yesterday.  Malala, who the fund is named after, has an absolutely amazing story.  I’m so grateful that I learned about it and also that I live someplace where my own daughter has so many opportunities to make any life for herself that she chooses.

5/12/18:  Yesterday was Bella’s prom.  She invited a ton of her friends over and they spent several hours doing makeup, dressing and generally being teenage girls.  Dorothy came by and did hair for B and Kearsten.  I wasn’t expecting it, but a ton of parents and relatives showed up.  It was really cool to have so many people at the house buzzing with excitement.  The kids all looked great and Bella seemed so happy and comfortable at the center of all of it.  I managed to get a couple decent pics, despite the high mid-day sun.  She and Marcus made such a cute couple and I slipped her $100 to help ensure she had a great time.  As has been the case lately, she had to rise early today and open at Subway.  Truly in awe of how amazing and together Bella is.

5/11/18:  Been dedicating chunks of time lately to thinking about changing course with Rawkstars.  I’ve been searching and listening for cues about what direction I want to take my career.  It’s an interesting exercise as most people ‘know’ they want to do something different, but when asked what specifically that things is, come up empty.  I think I’ve landed on the fact that what makes me genuinely happy is connecting with parents and students of Rawkstars.  More specifically, I want to tell their stories and celebrate their successes.

I’ve always thought that was where the ‘gold’ lied, with regards to the program.  It’s the thing that resonates most with others and with myself.  We’ve occasionally done a decent job of capturing those stories up front, but never in a more programmatic way to build the business.  I want to invest heavily in that aspect of our program and move in the direction of subscription based donors.

Manual, event-based fundraising has gotten us this far, but it’s time consuming, unpredictable and not scalable.  I had a brief connection via email with an old friend from Upromise who said she would give me some of her time to discuss a product strategy, which I hope will propel me further down this path.

5/10/18:  Had a nice father/son conversation with Q last night.  I told him some of my ideas about transforming Rawkstars and he reciprocated by telling me about his desire to grow his Youtube persona.  We talked a lot about technology, since he wants to get back to streaming commentary once the new game, State of Decay 2, comes out in a few weeks.  He has saved about $600 over the last several months to buy a gaming PC.  I think I am going to surprise him by purchasing the hardware he needs and making up the shortfall in money.  Seeing him excited about something productive, even related to gaming, is awesome.

5/7/18:  Spent the day yesterday at Mikey and Alyssa’s place watching the Bruins bow out of the playoffs :/  Regardless, it was a fun afternoon and nice to have all the kids present.  Bella’s bff Kearsten even joined us.  We got Town Spa pizza and predictably, I ate too much.  Crashed early last night and was grateful to wake up refreshed, even after a poor day of eating.

5/6/18:  Woke up this morning to an empty house.  Lisa is at bootcamp, Bella’s working the morning shift and Quincy slept over Wyatt’s.  Can’t recall the last time this happened when I wasn’t traveling.  It’s an odd, but peaceful feeling.  I’m going to make pancakes!

I spent all day yesterday working in the yard.  First mow of the season, got the patio cleaned off and arranged in a more intimate setup, raked, trimmed the hedges, re-stacked all the firewood, neatened the shed and cleared some brush from the woods.  Lisa and I sat until nearly midnight with a beautiful fire and drank tequila.  Bella joined us after work and it was really great.

5/5/18:  Went to see Lake Street Dive @ Sinclair last night.  Always enjoy seeing live music with Lisa and the band were even better than the last time we saw them, which is saying something.  They released their new record yesterday and it was a rare treat seeing them in an intimate setting.  I got a couple decent pictures.  Before the show, we got Falafel roll-ups and ate outside in Harvard Square on a gorgeous spring evening.

5/3/18:  I worked from home this morning to facilitate an early morning call with my extended team in India.  I connected with an old friend, Karthik, who recently was blessed with a new baby girl.  Like most of the Indian contractors I’ve had the pleasure of working with, he is a super sweet guy, humble and has a fantastic smile.

Being home allowed me to perform my morning meditation outside on the deck, instead of my usual office basement spot.  The sun has been really warm the last few days and the bird activity added greatly to the experience.

Yesterday, my company had their annual Raffle Rumble, which raised over $30k for charity.  Hasbro is a super philanthropic company and for my mixed feelings about the day to day portion of my job, they do an awesome job of supporting a ton of great causes.  I left with a warm, inspired feeling about my co-workers and company.

4/27/18:  Last night I attended my first group meditation class.  I visited Serlinpa Center in New Bedford, after looking at their website and schedule roughly a dozen times but never attending.  I made time for myself, took the 25 minute drive and it was great.  The ‘class’ consisted of (2) 20 minute meditations and a talk in between.  It was a bit more of a passive experience than I hoped, but afterward, I connected with a few of the other folks in attendance. I’ve been on this path of studying buddhism for about 18 months now, and am practicing meditation almost daily.  That said, I’ve felt a bit slanted in the ‘academic’ area and have been looking for something more deep and communal and human to add to my practice.  This was a tiny step in that direction so I’m proud of myself for making the effort.

4/25/18;  Bruins won a wild game 7 vs. Toronto!  Not only is it awesome they advanced, but the activity itself connected me with some folks I haven’t spoken to much lately.  Chris Weekly reached out to me for the first time in over a year and we talked hockey and made tentative plans to watch a game in round #2.  Next up Tampa Bay.

4/24/18:  Happy to have connected with my mom yesterday.  She called me distraught about financial news related to my brother.  I was able to listen to her with presence and offer some small comfort, without judgement.

I’m also grateful to experience game 7 tonight with the Bruins.  Most folks are disappointed in their last few losses after being up 3-1 against Toronto, but there is nothing as exciting as a win or go home game in hockey.

4/22/18:  Spent several hours doing yard work yesterday.  I raked mostly and took breaks in between.  I brought a chair from the backyard to sit in the driveway.  The sun was strong and I was able to sit with just an undershirt and shorts.  I closed my eyes and focused on breathing.  Our street was super quiet and the sounds of nature were everywhere.  It felt nice to peacefully connect, in relative silence and take pride in making our yard look nicer.

4/21/18:  After a 2-week stretch of being in ‘vacation mode’, overeating and downward momentum, I got up early and rode my bike.  We returned home yesterday, and I had a solid day of self-control.  Cooked for the first time all week and it felt great to nourish my body instead of abusing it.  Added that bit of exercise today and aiming to build on these small successes, one day at a time.

4/13/18:  Last night after work I shot hoops outside with Quincy.  It’s finally beginning to warm up here and pulling into the driveway, he was outside waiting for me.  In moments like this we often talk more openly than other situations for some reason.  He was telling me about some things he is learning at school and I told him about my potential pursuit of a new job.  It was nice to share in a real way, as we generally have lots of conversations that are more surface or humor oriented.  Bruins won the 1st game of the playoffs last night against Toronto!

4/12/18:  Received a community service award from Hasbro yesterday.  It always feels good to participate in this event.  There are typically 20+ employees who gather, along with come C-level executives at the company to recognize those folks with 200 or more volunteer hours.  I was given the opportunity to speak to the group and told the story of the formation of Rawkstars, and our latest partnership with MedRhythms in support of Juli.  Afterward, several people came up to me and said they really loved her story.  It was fulfilling to present that to a group of my peers and some of the leaders of Hasbro.  Felt natural and humbling to share in that way and I was super grateful for the opportunity.

4/8/18: Went to see my niece Abi play hockey yesterday.  She’s the goalie for a 10 year old team of mixed boys/girls.  She plays goalie and is awesome.  Her team lost, but I had so much fun.  Had to get up early after a late night concert (UDO) on Saturday, but totally worth it.  Afterward, the Bento family all came back to our place for lunch and Lisa made brisket.  We made homemade slaw, cornbread, greek bleu cheese dip and fresh veggies with it.  Love seeing all the cousin’s interact and spend time together also.  Sox scored 6 runs in the 8th for a comeback win to top it off.

4/7/18:  I took some time yesterday to write.  I have been toying with a project idea the last few days and it’s stuck with me.  When something resonates in that way, I use it as a signal that the idea has legs.  I spent about an hour shaping it on screen while listening to a bunch of random new metal bands, that I never would have checked out.  We’ll see if it goes anywhere, but I was happy to have taken the time for myself and used it in that way.  I felt productive.

4/6/18:  Had a rough mental day at the office yesterday.  Came home feeling sorry for myself and swirling in negativity about all the time I’m wasting being unfulfilled at my job.  Instead of wallowing on the couch and continuing to complain, I got changed and went to the gym.  I lightly walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes.  Not a physical workout, but it helped clear my mind and brought me back to reality.  Grateful.

4/5/18: I received an extremely generous message yesterday from Mia’s mom, Dina.  I’ve basically sworn off Facebook since last fall but decided to share a picture from one of our early recording sessions.  She wrote how grateful she was that I had worked with Mia and even mentioned Lisa, Bella and Quincy in her response.  It felt really good to read her words and know that their lives have been positively impacted by Rawkstars and the projects we did together.

4/4/18:  Watched an amazing HBO documentary last night on Garry Shandling, one of my all time favorite comedians.  Garry was super talented and pursued art, at the expense of more mainstream success.  He was also a conflicted person, like many of us, and spent a lot of time trying to become his true self.  I related to a lot of the portrayals of him as described by the participants in the show, who all seemed to genuinely love Garry.  He spent the last portion of his life studying Buddhism and kept a life-long set of diaries, which formed the basis of the script.

4/3/18:  So proud and happy for my friend Mia Boostrom.  She won her 3rd round of competition on The Voice last night.  She’s been matched against two of the strongest singers I’ve seen on the show and come out on top both times.  I can tell Adam Levine is drawn to her and feels the special qualities in her voice.  Truly happy for both her and her mom.

3/19/18:  Grateful to celebrate Quincy’s 12th birthday today.  We had a small party at the house over the weekend with his friends.  Seeing his growth and maturity makes me smile.

3/18/18:  Happy that I’ve been making small but noticeable progress in my writing.  It’s been something in the back of my mind since adolescence and I’m finally trying to push myself beyond the inertia of fear that comes with the idea.

3/13/18:  Grateful to be at home today with my family, during a bit of a snowstorm.  The power of nature is beautiful and experiencing it from a safe, warm vantage point with my wife and kids makes the day feel extra special.

3/12/18:  Thankful we moved the daylight savings time forward yesterday.  My mind/body alway feel better when there is a longer stretch of available daylight.

3/11/18:  Grateful to have celebrated my mom’s 70th birthday.  Despite having a less than perfect family situation, I can look back on my relationship with my mom with gratitude.  She didn’t give up on me when most would have.

3/10/18:  Blessed to have seen one of my musical heroes, Michael Schenker, in concert last night.  I attended the show with a crew of some of my oldest friends and had an amazing time.  I also shot some pictures which I was pleased with.

3/9/18:  Grateful that my kids are both generous with their money.  Bella regularly pays for coffee, treats and other niceties, for her brother, me and Lisa and her friends.  Last night Quincy also used his own money to order season 2 of Riverdale, so we could all watch it together.

3/7/18:  Fortunate that my position at work allows me to occasionally deliver exciting news to people that positively impacts their lives.  Today was such a day.

3/6/18:  Grateful that I had the opportunity to spend time with a mentor at work.  Connecting with other people is one of my absolute favorite things to do and I always learn something.

Happy for my old friend Mia Boostrom, who performed on The Voice last night.  She was chosen by Adam Levine as part of his team.  She is one of the most natural singers I ever had the good fortune of hearing and working with.  I wish her nothing but success.