Since I was a teenager I’ve thought about writing a book but never made it a reality.
I’m the guy who says he wants to be an author, but have never been willing to make the emotional, lifestyle and prioritization changes to cultivate such an ambitious outcome.
That’s all about to change. I’ve decided to finally get off my ass and do it. I’m taking the leap. Right now.
And if that weren’t enough, I’m going to tackle the most important subject imaginable.
Happiness.
After all, that’s what every single one of us is after. Right?
I’m talking long-lasting, persistent happiness. A deep sense of contentment and joy, regardless of circumstance.
I’m not talking about temporary pleasure or comfort, like the feeling you get from casual sex, getting high or inhaling a bag of salty chips after finishing a pint of ice cream.
I’m not even talking about the fleeting satisfaction we experience when buying a new car, getting a raise or upgrading to the latest iPhone.
After all, it’s easy to feel ‘happy’ when we are doing something we like or getting something we want.
While there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with this brand of happiness, it’s not sustainable. It requires us to habitually repeat these behaviors, chasing the feeling of happiness they evoke. When we aren’t doing those activities, we can be left feeling empty. So we chase them again.
If sustained happiness is the most aspirational human goal, why have so few seemingly achieved it?
Because, like writing a great book, happiness is not something you can simply want to do.
Happiness is a consequence.
If you want flowers in your garden, don’t think about flowers. Think about what kind of seeds flourish in your climate. Think about how much water that type of seed requires. Think about how much sunlight your garden gets and what type of soil you have. If you understand and nurture those elements and conditions, beautiful, vibrant flowers are the natural consequence.
Similarly, if you seek long-lasting happiness, you can’t simply focus on the things, activities or accomplishments you think will make you happy.
If you cultivate your body, train your mind, understand your emotions and focus your energy thoughtfully, the consequence will be happiness. Joy will be the natural quality and fragrance that you will carry within you.
Instead of being inspired by the goal of happiness, we need to be motivated by actions that will result in it. Inspiration without motivation and perspiration is simply entertainment. It goes beyond thinking about something we want, to taking the necessary steps to implement it in our lives.
Your beliefs and desires don’t make you a better person or change the way you are. Your actions do.
OK, back to where we started. My book. Remember, I promised I was finally going to write one. Here goes.
Title: “The Simple Guide to Being Happy”.
Foreword: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ~Epicurus
Chapter One: Be grateful.
The End.
That’s it? A lousy two-word book with a foreword by a long dead Greek philosopher reminding me to be grateful. How does this help?
Because happiness is a consequence of gratitude. And gratitude has a way of turning what we have into enough.
Where’s the “Like” button? 🙂
when i finally started this blog, i told myself i wasn’t going to get hung up on making things perfect and just wanted to finally start writing. ive got a running list of stuff that i would like to improve about the site, and will add this reco. awesome hearing from you and thank you immensely for taking the time to comment!
Lovely. I agree. To extend your garden metaphor, I think that it is important to realize that even when you cultivate carefully the garden is not a static place of fragrance and beauty. There are seasonal changes and daily cycle of light and darkness. The garden can remain consistently wondrous, when night falls you may not be able to apprehend all the color, but the fragrance may remain, or the half-light of the moon may reveal a different kind of tranquility. Once we get beyond (only) chasing sensations that illicit bursts of happiness, I think it’s important to remember that even if we raise the basic level of happiness with a well cultivated garden, the occasional absence of a feeling of happiness either by the intrusion of other feelings or by other factors is also okay. The garden is still there, it may require more tending or even repair. Even if things get damaged by a storm, we can find happiness thru the process: gratitude & a kind of quiet commitment to the things that make the garden yours.
Dude. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really needed to read that. Ironic, perhaps, but in the last couple days as I was thinking and writing about this, I’ve felt atypically less grateful. You’re so on point to mention that nothing is static. Even when the darkness rises, the urge to squash it isn’t helpful. Acknowledging, listening and dancing with it is the piece we all need to get comfortable with. Bringing awareness to what’s there and why is what’s required. Your words helped me greatly, old friend.
Happiness … the ability to detach. Not an easy task!
TY for leaving a comment, old friend 😉